[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

I get a strike at the bowling alley and the screen plays a clip of me being born

[xxlucas-lovesickxx]

[desertangels70s]

"Snoopy in Fashion" photo book from 1984.

[your-crystal-vision]

*watching Day 2 of the World Cup*

Partner: Shhh! It’s Canada’s finest! (Michael Buble)

Me: That’s not Hayden Christensen!

Partner: He can’t sing.

Me: That’s not Carly Rae Jepsen!

[livelovelaugh-777]

[oysters-aint-for-me]

taking my jestosterone bc i’m a fool

[spidersinmysoup]

Spiritually my spirit is always smoking a cigarette but physically i am.not because hashatg smoking kills

[miamlsunshine]

[probuccalfat]

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

[charl0ttan]

older lady customer noticed my name tag and said shes heard of charlene before but never charlotte?? and then i relayed this to a coworker and he said im the only charlotte he knows of?? and he didnt even know charlottes web???? where am i

[charl0ttan]

i told him its a childrens book from like the sixties and he said oh well i didnt grow up in the sixties. sure ig

[clarksgables]

METROPOLIS (1927) dir. Fritz Lang

[395nm]

"This shit is so ass." I love that saying. This egg is so chicken.

[offwegointothewildblueyonder]

when a child goes to Build-A-Bear and constructs a teddy from the parts available no one bats an eye, but when I, Victor Frankenstein,

[bovineblogger]

[fiore-firelily]

while I am talking to you about something gay and stupid a mosquito lands on my arm and sucks all my blood out in an instant, swelling to the size of a person as my remains flutter cartoonishly down to the ground, and it continues the conversation where I left off in a high pitched approximation of my voice

[jewishraypalmer]

"Scooby Doo will be a puppy!!" ok did we forget about a Pup Named Scooby Doo, one of the most iconic Scooby Doo shows simply because Freddy was an absolute moron who thought the culprit was a character literally named Red Herring every episode???

[yujateaandpi]

Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.

Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.

[entities-of-posts]

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