Circumcise Me Captain

Funny things to cure the hopelessly stressed out 🤙🏼

[mothtowers]

[burns myself on the stove but I develop a fetish for it immediately so im fine]

[valleyhowler]

I am a simple person. All I want is to wear ugly knit sweaters and walk in the forest. Maybe touch some moss. Toss some pebbles into a stream. Wear some leaves in my hair. Carve runes into stumps. Commune with the spirits I sought out. Wake ancient and feral magic. Lose all contact with civilization. Forget human speech. Turn into a local legend. Every girl's dream.

[aboonoor]

[ainawgsd]

Smooth-Winter Edition

[travalicious]

[rootbeergoddess]

Lizzo really is that bitch. God, I love this woman

[n0placelikehomo-deactivated2026]

Lizzo is literally the human we all never knew we needed in our lives.

[malscare]

the thot thiccens…

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

Mama didn’t raise a quitter but she did raise a homosexual and and an idiot

[switchingtogeico]

I could eat bagels for every fucking meal I’m not kidding I love them

[ramshackle-boon]

[switchingtogeico]

[ramshackle-boon]

[switchingtogeico]

[sassy-echidna-deactivated202202]

I love seeing the revival of classic art

[i-smell-ice-cream]

[biyaself]

😂😂 okay but listen

[shittycryptids]

A heterosexual pride parade

[thecryptkeeper]

public school pep rallies

[babelady]

how to become a mother

1) go outside 2) find pigeon 3) grab 4) congratulation

[equigay-archive-deactivated2021]

I WAS SINGING “IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT SAY MEOW” TO MY CAT AND SHE FUCKING THREW UP

[averagefairy]

when youre laying down and your pet walks across your internal organs and youre like OW FUCK and they dont even care they just keep standing on your spleen like its their job

[thadeeliv]

this is why i keep my skin closed at all times.

[averagefairy]

you….. you what 

[jame7t]

[dspressed]

I am, unfortunately, all panic and no disco

[glassbonespaperskin]