Just let me be. @yourownpersonalpsychopath - Tumblr Blog

i work as a barista & people tell me all the time that The Drinks Got Gender. Thats A Lady Coffee, people try to say

its fucking bean water

can’t believe i can’t just reply to this but: maybe they’re actually telling you that this coffee has an important status. Lady Coffee

hotlocalwizards

oh shit i was in the presence of bean water royalty oh fuck i must have looked like such a rube. such a fool.

hommedog

what the fuck does this post mean ive been trying to decipher its hieroglyphic encrypted message but i cant

hotlocalwizards

“From a deconstructionist stand point, I have to disagree with a large portion of the customers that I, a humble barista tend to each day. The assertion that certain coffee drinks are more suitable for one gender or another is folly. For as we know: 1. gender is a social construct, & 2. coffee of any type is simply hot water strained through roasted beans, & has no greater affect on either culturally assigned sex.”

“What ho, kind friend! Is it not unfortunate that I cannot simply reply to this post, & most reblog it? What a farce, this blue website! Ah, but I digress: what if perhaps your customers were not asserting not the suitability of the drink for a given gender, but rather indicating some matter of status? Perhaps the coffee is possessing of a high rank in society. This is of course my purely grammatical viewpoint on the subject.”

“Oh, damnation! This does in fact seem much more likely than my own ludicrous assumptions, & I was no doubt in the presence of roasted bean royalty! Some emissary from foreign soil! Curses! What a country bumpkin I’ve made myself out to be!!”

roachpatrol

while we’re on the subject of narcissa malfoy i just want to point out what an incredibly underrated character she is in fanworks. it’s not just that she appropriately revenged herself on the guy who screwed over both her families. it’s like. okay. draco malfoy has a sense of humor. all the blacks have a sense of humor. lucius malfoy is so fucking humorless he got into a goddamn fistfight in a bookstore with arthur weasley. lucius malfoy has snits like, all the time. lucius malfoy cuts out newspaper articles that talk about how great he is and mails them to his son. lucius malfoy loses his house elf and his first reaction is like, try to club a twelve year old harry potter in the face with his stick at hogwarts in front of witnesses and the free house elf and he gets his ass handed to him because, okay, what the hell was the win condition of that situation? he would have beat up a schoolboy? anyway, lucius malfoy is, i cannot overstate this, a complete dingus.

narcissa carried that family every fucking step of the way. and she’s probably where draco got his sense of humor, as well as whatever cunning the hapless little twerp ever manages to scrape up. lucius malfoy is a stone cold disaster who keeps his wand in a cane with a silver snakehead handle and can’t manage to outfox schoolchildren. thank god for the malfoys that he married up.

fanonical

ollivander sells wands to all of britain and yet he only operates out of a single shop in london? you’d think he’d wanna franchise that shit. open up a bunch of mcwandshops, you know

osointricate

Trope that can die:

Grown men telling their small sons to “take care of things now” like their grown, capable mother isn’t standing right there, listening.

riotworkshop

Thought Jon was holding the kitten wrong but no, it just likes to stick it’s leg out like that

give em the ol razzle dazzle

tealesbian

just-shower-thoughts

Calling yourself a hacker for executing a DDoS is like calling yourself a lock picker because you blew up a door with dynamite.

officialplanetmars

did you kno that 10 million pounds of maple syrup was stolen from quebec

10 million pounds

1/3 of the government’s reserve

like. how do you even steal 10 million pounds of maple syrup. where do you hide it. what would you even do with it

theirs-deactivated20140714

why does the canadian government have a maple syrup reserve

loserfuck

carbonatedspace

Look at this dog

mayordog-deactivated20160926

this is like when you’re playing a game with stiff animations and you press left and right a bunch as you run

gentlesharks

Beautiful footage of Nurse shark giving birth

cutie-sharks

D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

oxytreza

Shit, my tea.

Everyone at some point in their life (via oxytreza)

culturenlifestyle

Gentle and Heartwarming Animal Illustrations By Sydney Hanson

Artist Sydney Hanson transforms wild animals into adorable illustrations drawn as gentle and vulnerable creatures with soft fur and endearingly large eyes engaged in tender scenes. Expressions of curiosity, joy, and contentment on Hanson’s characters mirrors the love of animals she embraces.

Guinea pigs, bunny, bats and donkeys, foxes and other wild creatures become heartfelt drawings that portray the tamed and innocent side of the wilderness. Hanson’s illustrative style is remarkably compassionate and draws the familiarity of children’s novels and fairy tale to warm our hearts further to her cute animals. Find them in their Etsy shop.

View similar posts here!

aubreysux

michael jones the motivational speaker

tomsretales

Day Thirteen

-A woman came through wearing a shirt that said, “Camp Wheretheheckrwe”. Finally, a brand of comedy that I can relate to.

-A manager made me a Starbucks Pink Drink. I can see why this drink’s popularity caused a shortage in coconut milk. It tasted like liquid flowers, but with less chlorophyll.

-A girl dressed in all pink, tutu, shoes, bow, and all, attempted to make an escape. She unbuckled herself and stood up in the toddler seat, and attempted to jump the bar and get out, before her handler placed her back in confinement, much to her chagrin and dismay.

-While in the bathroom, a man’s phone began to ring. With no warning, Lorde’s “Royals” was suddenly blaring throughout the room. He then started angrily yelling at his phone, “ANSWER! ANSWER!” Shockingly, this did not work, and the song was still playing as I left.

-A boy decided to act out, but wisely wanted to avoid any actual repercussions. While unloading the cart, he would wind up as he removed each item, as if he were going to throw it angrily onto the conveyor belt, then at the last moment gently place it down. I feel a deep sense of comradery and understanding for this boy.

-I have made the realization that after the age of seventy, people only carry around either hundred dollar bills, or pockets full of unreasonable amounts of loose change. I do not know yet the significance of this discovery, but I will crack the Elder Code one day.

-As a little girl was waiting in line, I heard her cheerfully exclaim that she has no gum, while pointing at the chewing gum rack. She was not asking for gum. She was not complaining about not having gum. She just decided to gleefully announce to everyone in the vicinity that, at the time, she did not have any gum in her possession.

-I then caused an existential crisis in this same girl. I handed her a sticker. Her face was filled with a sense of terror at the responsibility I had just given her. She could not decide where to place it. She was thoroughly shaken by this. I eventually handed her a second sticker so that she would not have to make such a weighty decision on such short notice. This solved the dilemma immediately.

-I have discovered the ultimate form of pure confusion, and that is children not understanding how stickers work and attempting to stick wax paper to their foreheads. It is truly a marvel to behold.

-A woman ominously wandered the front of the store, repeating to herself, “I should have known better. I should have known better. I should have known better.” My shift ended before I was able to ascertain whether or not she had reason to have known better. I remain confident that she did her best.

-An old man with a gun strapped to his hip was wearing a shirt that read, “Ditch The Paper, Go For Vapor.” It is reassuring to know that, in this life, some things may come and go, but the vape life is forever.

reverseracism

Exactly.

homojabi

Parents that say shit like “After everything that I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me?” are so fucked up. Kids do not “owe” their parents anything. Kids do not have a running tab of expenses to pay back that starts from the minute they’re born. Kids do not get to choose their parents or their needs and implying that they are the one forcing their parents to do something and that they deserve to be punished for it is straight up child abuse.

kikaiz

whats your favorite thing about danny phantom?

THE FACT THAT THIS POOR KID HALF DIED AND TURNED INTO SOMETHING HIS PARENTS DESPISE AND HOW HE WAS ALREADY AWKWARD AND BULLIED TO BEGIN WITH BUT HE PULLS THROUGH HE TRIES TO DO THE RIGHT THING EVEN WHEN THERE’S A MILLION REASONS WHY HE SHOULDN’T. HE STILL TRIES HIS HARDEST. HE STAYS UP ALL NIGHT FIGHTING EVIL AND RISKING HIS HALF LIFE FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE HIM. FOR PEOPLE WHO YELL AT HIM. FOR SLEEPING IN CLASS OR FOR FORGETTING CHORES OR FAILING A TEST. HE KEEPS HIS ANGER IN CHECK BECAUSE HIS POWERS LEAK OUT IN HIS RAGE. HE TREATS HIS WOUNDS HIMSELF BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WANT TO WORRY ANYONE AND BECAUSE HE’S NOT SURE IF HIS BLOOD WORK IS HUMAN. HE HAS TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE FROM TWO SEPARATE VIEWS: THE PARENTS WHO LOVE HIM AND THE SCIENTISTS WHO WANT TO DISSECT HIM, THE BULLY WHO BEATS HIM YET REVERES HIM AS A HERO, THE GIRL WHO LOVES HIM BUT WILL SHOOT HIM ON SIGHT. THE ONLY MAN WHO COULD POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND HIM WANTS HIS FATHER DEAD AND WOULD USE HIM AS A TOOL. HE SHOULDERS SO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY AND IS EXPECTED TO UPHOLD THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF A GROWING TEENAGER. WHAT KIND OF JOB OR FUTURE DOES A HALF DEAD GHOST DREAM ABOUT? NOT AN ASTRONAUT. NOT WITH THOSE GRADES. AND WHEN HE DOES SEE HIS FUTURE, WHAT DOES HE SEE? HE SEES A MONSTER. DESTROYING AND KILLING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AND ENJOYING IT. AND EVEN IF HE’S AVOIDED THAT FUTURE, JUST HOW EASY IS IT TO SET IT BACK IN MOTION? ONE SLIP UP. JUST ONE. AND HE THINKS ABOUT IT CONSTANTLY. HE’S FOURTEEN AND HE HAS TO DEAL WITH PROTECTING A TOWN, ACCEPTING HIS EXISTENCE, MAKING SURE HE DOESN’T TURN INTO A MONSTER, THE PARANOIA OF BEING FOUND OUT AND WHAT THAT COULD ENTAIL, TWO-FACING FRIENDS AND FAMILY, THE PRESSURES OF SCHOOL, BULLYING, AND STRESSING OVER GRADES, OF LIVING IN THE SHADOW OF A FAMILY OF GENIUSES, OF CRUSHING ON HIS FRIEND BUT NOT WANTING TO RUIN WHAT THEY HAVE, AND THE GUILT OF CANCELING PLANS WITH FRIENDS BECAUSE OF A GHOST ATTACK OR NOT BEING ABLE TO LOOK HIS MOTHER IN THE EYE AS HE CONSTANTLY LIES TO HER FACE, OF HIDING WOUNDS AND SCARS AND LAUGHING IT OFF SO NO ONE WORRIES ABOUT HIM WHEN INSIDE HE’S READY TO BURST. WOW, I WONDER WHY I LIKE DANNY PHANTOM?

bombaybicycleclubsoda

Danny Phantom is actually perfect.

messybun-messylife

Woah. How is it even possible for me to have so much respect for a cartoon character?

kikaiz

HE NEEDS ALL THE RESPECT AND LOVE HE CAN GET

JUST LOOK AT HIM

THE NEED I HAVE TO PROTECT THIS CHILD IS UNGODLY

cthulhu-with-a-fez

#yes#my sentiments exactly#THANK YOU VERY MUCH#I mean he’s gotta constantly wonder exactly what he is#to paraphrase Spectra ‘a ghost trying to be human or a human trying to wield ghost powers’#and he’s stuck between these two worlds#and the pressures and responsibilities which both of them constantly dump on him#repeatedly putting himself in danger for people who would rather see him destroyed#torn apart ‘molecule by molecule’#than support his heroic efforts#he’s FOURTEEN#and he’s stuck being national ghost enemy 1#AND a super hero#AND one of The Ghost Zone’s Most Wanted#AND a Freshman in high school#AND an socially outcast target of insecure bullies#AND someone who is neither alive nor dead#but somewhere in between#and in his writing#he’s not treated as one of those egotistical heroes who always get everything right#he’s not treated as one of those stupid teenagers who never get ANYTHING right either#he doesn’t have instantaneous knowledge of his powers#(he didn’t even know what his Ghost Sense was or what it came from until near the end of the series)#he doesn’t defeat every villain every time by some lucky coincidence#he learns#he grows#he is#dare I say it#actually bizarrely realistic#not just for a character who’s half-ghost (via)