but listen like… even a trailer for The Thief. not even a movie, just the trailer would be so epic.
we open on a beam of light falling on Gen’s face as the door to his cell is opened. cut to the magus saying “it was boasting that got you locked up in the king’s prison. fortunately it is not your intelligence I am interested in, but your skill.” and then Eugenides with his Trademark Grin™ saying “I can steal anything.”
PAN over the line of horses in the Sounisian countryside, jaunty roadtrip music is playing, some quick cuts of Gen complaining and Sophos trying not to laugh as the magus rolls his eyes. that ends with Gen just fuckin’ falling on the ground. cuz you know, got to get some comedy in there.
but then the music gets more serious, and we get some wide shots of them on top of the mountain, staring down at the Sea of Olives, and then climbing down the mountain with voiceover exposition of about the political situation–the whole “the king wants to invade Attolia, and for that he needs to marry the queen of Eddis” thing–interspersed with shots of Attolia and Sounis looking very threatening, and the shot from the very end with Eddis sitting in her throne room and looking up at Gen’s entrance. a clip from the myth of Hephestia giving the stone to Hamiathes along with a voiceover of the Magus’s one-line summary of what the gift is. Close up on Gen’s face in the light of the fire when he says “Do you mean you dragged us out here in the dark looking for something out of a fairy tale?” And cut to him rolling his eyes dramatically and collapsing on his bedroll and maybe one more snarky line.
and then QUICK CUTS OF EXCITING THINGS WITH LOUD EXCITING MUSIC. Attolian soldiers galloping on horseback, the Aracthus flooding the gorge, Ambiades and Gen wrestling in the dirt, Attolia smiling in a threatening manner, the magus whipping Gen, god-Eugenides screaming as he walks through fire, bird’s eye shot of Gen flinging his head back and opening his mouth to scream when he’s stabbed–
then silence, darkness. quiet ominous orchestral music plays as Gen enters the underwater temple and approaches the court of the gods, bathed in an eerie white glow. pan up on Hamiathes’s Gift, sitting in Hephestia’s lap. close up of Gen’s face–he swallows and slowly reaches for it. close up on Hephestia’s face, and then a dramatic whooshing sound as her eyes flicker up. abrupt fade to black, and Moira’s voice: “Do not offend the gods.”
TITLE CARD: THE THIEF. THE AUDIENCE FREAKS THE FUCK OUT.
honestly I know I flip flop between “no, never a movie” and “yes, immediately a movie” frequently but YES, PLEASE, IMMEDIATELY A MOVIE.
gummygunk
jbbartram-illu
theartofmadeline
2087
dededos
yousharknotpass
