Disastrous first kisses with the genshin characters!
He's holding an ice pack to your forehead, and you could only wince in pain when the cold becomes too much to handle for at least a bit.
Despite being a couple for what, a good few years? The most intimate you had gone with Wanderer was holding hands, at least up until a few minutes ago. It's not like your relationship was that stagnant, things were just hectic for a while with all the nod krai and Dottore nonsense and all that. You proposed kissing, and he agreed like it was the most ordinary thing you could've ever asked him for.
At first, it was going well. The novels you've read were, interestingly enough, a good instruction to follow. Wanderer was good at following the lead, even if he himself didn't know what he was doing. Hand on the waist, the other on the back of your head, pulling you into the kiss. It might've been those fantasy kisses that you've always read about even.
Unfortunately, escaping the kiss for breath too fast has some unnecessary consequences. That being, your head banging against his puppet-like one, and causing a lot more pain than you could've ever expected.
"Can you just give the ice pack to me?... You're acting like I can't even hold ice now."
"Weren't you the one who got injured, mind you, without any means of doing so somehow?"
Arghh this pain in the- "Does that equate to not being able to hold an ice pack? And besides it's not my fault that you're forehead's harder than a rock!"
A sigh entered your ears, and you resisted the urge to punch the man who caused the disappointed breath of air.
"Whatever, just let me take care of you since you obviously can't do that for yourself."
And, well, the bruise did hurt, but your pride was on the line here! So, despite your incoherent grumblings that just listed off your heavy disapproval, you just let him hold the freezing cold ice to your forehead, biding your time thinking about how you'd get him back someday.
It would have been concerning about the ridiculous amount of blood pooling in the cavity of your mouth, some dripping out like drool, but to the perpetrator of your current predicament it all sounds like the best comedy of his life.
Lohen was ravenous, his desire for battle leaving a carnal impression on his very soul. You aren't sure what you expected from a man whose very name wrecks shivers through every knights' spine whether out of fear or exhaustion, but somehow him biting your tongue when you finally gained the courage to kiss him was not exactly unexpected. His bite was in all the way painful and humiliating, as said by the copious amount of bloodied tissues on your bedside table.
Lohen's mouth was still sticky with a combination of the two of yours' saliva and your blood, and yet he didn't seem the slightest bothered. You couldn't even speak, lest you wanted blood to drop onto your dress shirt, so having his shit eating grin right at your periphery was not at all fun.
And then the freak licked the blood off of his mouth.
Not even the gagging motions you insinuated and, in a panicked motion, attempted to correct to prevent the dripping of blood could convey your disgust. The insane man only laughed, and you could only distinctly wonder how on the Anemo archon's name you managed to end up falling for this man.
"Aren't you such a sweetheart? Not only are you a great kisser, but your blood has such a nice taste too!"
What was he now, a vampire?
"Now I do wonder what other parts of you tastes like..."
Okay yeah nope, you were never going to get a break with just your bleeding tongue now were you?
After that whole frisky kiss all the way back in silver moon hall, you didn't exactly expect to wake up in your lover's lap of all things.
"Oh? It seems you're finally awake."
"What... Happened?" Blinking blearily, blurry and blocky shapes created from the excess water in your eyes begin to clear, and all you could see was the somewhat tense but normal, blindfolded face of your girlfriend.
"Hmm... How should I put this... We were kissing and then you seemed to get quite out of it in a few seconds in, oxygen deprivation included. I pulled away from you, and that's when I found out that your sensitivity to kuuvahki was the reason for your lightheadedness, so I just let you rest for a while."
You blinked once, twice and a few more times in absolute disbelief before practically jumping in shock. The few kuuhenki surrounding you stuttered from your abrupt movement, and Columbina too tilted her head in confusion at your dramatic reaction.
"What is this now... The moon goddess- you know, the embodiment of kuuvahki and beauty and everything nice herself, can't even kiss me because of stupid kuuvahki sensitivity?!"
"To be fair, I did get a little excited and ended up releasing a bunch of my power while we were being intimate, that's why all these kuuhenki are surrounding us."
You wanted to scream, shout and cry all at once. Oh gods this was the worst day of your life! Not only did you pass out when you were really, really eager to kiss her, but now you found out that you're somehow allergic to her?! The unfairness of it all was appalling even to you! Spending all day reading about those kissing scenes in those romance novels just for good preparation and it ended up like this?!
"Hey hey now," noticing your distress like the absolute angel your girlfriend was, "It's fine. We can always figure out other romantic ways to be affectionate with each other."
"What other way is there?... Hugging can be platonic, so can holding hands and cuddling, and the one thing that couples explicitly do and have to express themselves with, I can't do because of my stupid kuuvahki sensitivity!"
The moon goddess could only pat your head in pity, already conjuring up some new way to kiss you without much issue. Maybe the problem was with her own eagerness...
You aren't sure if anything could replace the sheer mortification of your current predicament as of the moment.
Wiping away the dark lipstick on your face brought you no comfort, in fact it amplified the embarrassment on your cheeks, causing you to warm up and flush without warning. The Fatui underdog at the very edge of the room seemed just as uncomfortable as you were, however your lover seemed unbothered, unfazed even to being caught kissing of all things.
The one day, the one day you brought up the courage to kiss your girlfriend, someone just has to ruin it.
Of course, everyone knew that the Knave, fourth of the harbingers loved you dearly and with great care, considering the amount of missing recruits just for uttering a tiny bit of disdain towards you. You just didn't want how she loved you to be displayed towards the whole world, but fate had other plans it seems.
"Next time let's do it in our bedroom instead of the office dear..."
"Oh?" A crinkle of the newspaper reached your ear, and you couldn't help crane your neck to see what she was reading. The Fatui, luckily left the room as soon as they could, but you still couldn't help but check for anyone about to bust into the room unannounced. "And what would you do if the children were go come inside instead?"
Well that was just fucking worse!
"My office is better, in any case," she sipped a bit of her tea, and you could only nod in response to her. The idea of children accidentally catching their adoptive parents in the act of normal romantic activities had the hairs of your neck stand on end.
"If you'd like I'll buy another lock for you?"
"Yes, please," if it weren't for your senses being overloaded with humiliation, you might've caught the slightest quirk in the corner of her mouth at the sound of your whining.
