Finals Week anxiety/I love you!
i graduated a few years ago and i want to share with you some things:
I grew up being called āgiftedā and smart. I did really well in school, to the point my identity depended on it. Then in college, I failed entire semesters, more than once. I also dropped out at one point.
It was devastatingĀ and I was terrified.
And yet: EVERYTHING TURNED OUT OK.Ā
B/c despite what theyād have you believe, this is not the end of the world, and you are going to be okay.Ā
RepeatĀ it with me: You are going to be okay.Ā
Itās common to feel likeĀ āeverything depends on this.ā I promise: it doesnāt.Ā A couple things I want you to know
***Your worth & intelligence is absolutely absolutely ABSOLUTELY not based on or reflected by your grades.***Ā
The atmosphere youāre currently in breeds stress. Educational institutions have this messed up culture that pushes our minds into an āemergency modeā that does not reflect reality and forces you to panic unnecessarily. Thatās why:
Things are never as desperateĀ as they feel.
The panic youāre feeling is something youāve been trained to feel, but it is notĀ truthful.Ā
If you donāt do as well as you hoped: sweetheart, that Is fine. We naturally aim for more than we can reasonably manage, in order to push ourselves. Not reaching a goal doesnāt mean you āfailedā, it means you aimed highĀ and Iām proud of you.
Everyone who has ever done anything has failed at some point. People who never fail are people who never try.
Failing a class/classes is NOT the end of the line. Sometimes we need more time, or a second chance. Sometimes we need a different direction
For years I thought I wanted to be an engineer. I declared that major as a freshman. I ended up retaking several classes before realizing that no, this subject was not actually a good fit and didnāt me happy.Ā
The subject I eventually got a degree in? I actually had to retake a few of the introductory classes, alongside classmates who werenāt even in the program but seemed to have an easier time than me. At the time I was embarrassed. Now, Iām proud that i stuck with it
Please do not be afraid to ask for help even/especially when a deadline has passed/you feel ashamed for not asking sooner. Or rather: please ask for helpĀ even when youāre scared and itās late in the semester. It literally cannot hurt.Ā
You are still learning how to learn, teach yourself, and self-monitor. This is a Huge Big Part of being an Adult that very few of us donāt get formal training for. So of course you will make mistakes along the way.Ā Mistakes are a symptom of progress.
You are making progress, and for that alone you deserve to celebrate yourself
