Morning Coffee

|Zanko|27|Box|  I usually just reblog MTG and art stuff. I try not to reblog NSFW art as that wasn't the original idea for this account, but some +18 stuff might slip through, you have been warned.

[orcgirls]

I’ll protect you child by Arman Akopian

[taylortut]

y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?”

every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen

[taylortut]

i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she was “watching her weight”

so this guy behind her, whom no one was talking to, for some fucking reason says “wathing your weight? but what about the wait for your watch?“ (which is a completely unhinged response. like just complete Mad Hatter nonsense)

anyway this lady gets really uncomfortable and of the five people (me, him, her, the other checker, and the customer at the other register) who were now sucked into the uncomfortable silence, i decided that i should alleviate the tension by saying “you can’t wait for a watch; you don’t have the time”

and then he said “oh, quick girl!”, gave me that pen, got out of line, and left without ordering anything 

[patron-saint-of-smart-asses-dea]

You pleased a mad fae trickster

[srsfunny]

Equal Parts Adorable and Hilarious

[deadlycomics]

Reblogs on the original broke somehow so here’s the vid if you want to share with friends or well wishers

[erzfreu]

drew up my player char and her inventory for a dnd campaign i’m currently in

[sydtropolis]

Here’s the other 6” Artisan Guild Yagraz that I printed and painted. She just finished fighting in a battle. The enemies must have gotten distracted by her beauty.

[orcgirls]

Friends by IndiCreates on @DeviantArt

[prideknights]

We are the Pride Knights, and this is our battle cry No enemy can shake us, as hard as they can try There’s a fire in our eyes that no hatred can kill A passion in our hearts that’s as strong as our will To our fellow queers who fight their battles on their own We promise to fight with you, you are never alone To our fellow queers who have fallen with the pain We thank you for your courage, your fight is not in vain

We are defenders of the right to be proud of who you are To love who you love and to accept every scar We are your knights, protectors of our pride Together we stand, together we ride

These are back! 

[Tees | Hoodies | Sweatshirts]

https://teespring.com/stores/prideknights

[rockellex-deactivated20250702]

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

[scolipiter]

HOLY SMOKES

[vellione]

*sparkly eyes* This is so god damn cool

[kawarayane]

Nea&Min

Michael picture was drawn for a friend.

[everythingfox]

Educational fox lesson 🦊

[marshmallowisoffended]

@zankoblack

[doctorslippery]

[teathattast]

bless

[cybereihino-deactivated-deactiv]

Only tik tok video that’s valid

[bogleech]

[mavisbeaconofficial]

[cobaltdays-deactivated20210208]

What in God’s name is this

[dozy-draconequus-deactivated202]

Uhhh so I can tell y'all for sure he WASN’T eating that eggplant….

[theshockinglyeloquentdog]

this keeps getting worse

[nonapkinsilickmyfingers777]

[drcgonhide]

Visit Original Link

The mashup you never thought would work

[dieharddaae-24601]

Congratu-fucking-lations.

[oneforcasual-oneforbest]

I would pay so much to have this as a ringtone I’m not even joking.

[theatreortheater]

Why?????

[calamitycons]

The face I made while listening to this was so visceral I had to draw it before reblogging it

[junovoltage]

@sillygooseface TORI I’M CRYING PLEASE LISTEN

[sursumursa-deactivated20180131]

Well. That was indeed a thing that happened.

@lindsayetumbls @elisaintime @nellachronism

(Would’ve been better with a different version of POTO but it’s irrevocably stuck in my head so…eh.)

[smiling-grouch-deactivated20241]

Holy shit.

[smiling-grouch-deactivated20241]

[zim-kinnie]

Whenever Americans use Cryillic like. That. I just. Instantly shrivel up an cry

[zim-kinnie]

Like idk how to tell you this but н isnt h and и isnt n

[skyheartstar13]

It’s true and you should say it.

[zim-kinnie]

Я isnt R

Р isnt P

В isnt B

[shipping-is-life-1-0-1]

If you want to explain, what does it mean then? 0.0

[zim-kinnie]

н makes n sound,и makes ee sound, я makes ya sound, р makes r sound, в makes v sound

[shimmedmilk]

you mean, like, ня?

[aveture]

oh no. It can be made with Cyrillic now

[zim-kinnie]

ня

[verminviscount]

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE EXPLAINED

[zim-kinnie]

НЯ

[lierdumoa]

I learned about Russian AND an obscure furry meme today.

[helloitsbees]

[images-that-are-only-cursed]

Cursed school presentations? Thank you!

I hate presentations 😂but who doesn’t?

[images-that-are-only-cursed]

[blu3-skyy]

[w0wls]

That shrek one is threatening

[chuck-e-cheese-anime-faces]

How’d y'all leave out this one?

[peter-my-parkers]

[isspeeedyy]

[orchidvioletindigo]

Brothers in arms

[writing-prompt-s]

The royal family employs no bodyguards. A would-be assassin discovers why.

[galwednesday]

“Please?” the crown prince said hopefully.

The assassin hesitated. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this.”

“Come on, you’re doing great. Just one stab, it’ll be easy-peasy.” The prince  spread his arms wide, leaving his throat and chest vulnerable.

“Look, I’m going to level with you,” the assassin said. “I took this contract on the assumption that you were a bad dude. Usually when a country goes bankrupt this fast, it’s because whoever’s in charge is raiding the treasury. But once I infiltrated the guard, I actually had to spend time around you, and you’re just.” The assassin threw her hands up in disgust. “You’re a really nice person! There’s no getting around it! So I’m not super on board with murdering you now. Nothing personal.”

“But if you don’t, my sisters won’t get the life insurance payout, and the country will be in debt for the next century!”

“I’m pretty sure arranging for your own assassination is insurance fraud.”

“Your whole job is to commit murder,” the prince said, “and now you’re worried about a little insurance fraud?”

The assassin pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay, let’s back up and think about this rationally. Have you considered faking your own death?”

[leaper182]

This was not what I was expecting, and it is glorious.