Word.

My logic has left me and I'm surrounded by copious amounts of emotions that I just need to get under control. They need to be hidden from the people I know and the rest of the world so that I won't hurt anyone. But they need an outlet. And this is it.

[z-odiology]

THE SIGNS AS YAHOO QUESTIONS

Aries: got expelled on the first day of school…what do i do?

Taurus: my mom told me to stop fighting with everyone how do i stop?

Gemini: my gf broke up with me bc i was ‘two-faced’?!?!?!

Cancer: how do i stop crying?

Leo: how to tell people i’m just too fab for them??

Virgo: how do i clean my room for a long period of time?

Libra: my teacher says i’m too sarcastic for her class. whut

Scorpio: HOW DO I NOT DAYDREAM ABOUT ME AND MY HOT TEACHERS

Sagittarius: how do i refrain from killing everyone pissing me off? >_>

Capricorn: how to stop procrastinating?

Aquarius: how do i politely tell everyone to fuck off?

Pisces: how to be mean?

[stability]

[fuks]

[zedzen]

Honestly what I want in life is to live in a country house/cabin on the outskirts of a town and have some pets and not talk to anyone for a year or two

[zedzen]

Why do I feel like such a piece of shit human? Not like shitty as in I'm still sick, but like a worthless piece of society.

Its like I’m a literal piece of shit hidden in a corner of a room and its stinking up the whole room but you can't find it and can't get rid of the smell.

[zedzen]

I always tell people that I shaved off all my hair because it was too hot in the summers. Because I needed to feel a breeze on my scalp when it was humid and my hair was heavy and large and curled. What I don't tell people is that I shaved my hair to reinvent myself. That I was depressed and lonely and feeling ugly. That I was having problems with my identity. That I was stressed and my life was changing in ways that were out of my control. I think I chose my hair as a way of controlling my life because it was always the physical feature that people commented on the most. It was like all my worth, beauty, and identity was dependent on my hair. And it was a way to prove to myself and to the world that I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about me because I can be a worthwhile woman without my hair.

[zedzen]

I'm beginning to think I don't actually have any friends anymore

[zedzen]

Why do I have to go out of my way to respect my professors when they do something wrong? Why do they expect students to treat them like royalty? I am not in college to get a sliver of recognition by a puffed up PhD recipient. I am in college to learn. 

[zedzen]

Disappointing others is more stressful than disappointing myself. I always disappoint myself. I rarely disappoint others.

[zedzen]

The issue that I have with one night stands is the fact that I feel like they are very dependent on looks and I don't feel like I have the looks that would warrant come one wanting to have a one night stand with me. The only reason I can see anyone wanting to have anything to do with me is maybe my personality, and from that maybe they would find me attractive enough to want to sleep with me. But, meeting someone and then having them want to take me home a few hours later is never something that I could imagine happening and because of that I am always wary that they would want more than just some random sex and that, since I know I don't want any kind of relationship, I would hurt them. I don't want to hurt anyone, so, as a compromise, I just keep hurting myself. 

[zedzen]

I don't understand why, in this captaining setting, when she doesn't get her way she suddenly decides it is directly due to the fact that I must be a lazy person. 

[zedzen]

I now know I'm only human, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying to better myself.

[imgfave]

[zedzen]

On being "sad"

When I was in England I was the happiest I'd been in my whole life. Even when I was upset about something it was fleeting. I would feel the sadness and them get over it. But here. . . Here all my unhappy thoughts are settling in the out if my stomach like a great ever growing lead ball of sad. It's weighing me down and taking me over. I know what will happen when it gets too large. I'll get suicidal again. And I'm so afraid of the happening that I'm trying to do whatever I can to stave it off but nothing is working and next semester is looming and I'm scared.

[zedzen]

I feel so out of control right now. The tiniest little things are setting me off, either positive or negative. I can't get control of my emotions and I can't get control of my brain. I feel so overwhelmed by what is happening inside my head and I don't know what to do. How do you run from yourself?

[zedzen]

Today I literally called the naked mole rats "little bros and brosephs"

[zedzen]

If your happiness is dependent on other people, you will never be happy.