trying on a metaphor
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
dirt enthusiast
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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#extradirty
Mike Driver
KIROKAZE

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
taylor price
DEAR READER

⁂
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Claire Keane
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sheepfilms
Sweet Seals For You, Always
$LAYYYTER
d e v o n
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@zerbakorn
There might be hope for our oceans, thanks to one clumsy moment in a coral tank.
It typically takes coral 25 to 75 years to reach sexual maturity. With a new coral fragmentation method, it takes just 3.
Species dependant on the great barrier reef rn:
Are straight white people okay????
What is this?!
People like this exist. Interesting.
this story has a part 2
THERE IS A PART 3 WITH GUEST RESPONSES I REPEAT THERE IS A PART 3 THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought things couldn’t get more horrifyingly amusing than the woman who wanted people to pay $1000 each to go to her wedding so she could “feel like a Kardashian for a day” and had a Facebook breakdown about it saying she was gonna go backpacking in Peru to “find herself” after being “betrayed” by her friends who didn’t want to partake but here we are
I thought it was the same person ngl.
I’m in the wedding shaming group and saw both this and the Peru post before it went viral. Love it.
THERE’S AN UPDATE
Stephanie is a true hero.
my favorite thing about this update is that the fact that we are even SEEING this means there’s AT LEAST one other snitch in the party that she hasn’t caught yet
Bad Cats.
OP, you fool. These are THE BEST CATS
Stanley is so chaotic I love him
my friends cat loves attacking xmas trees but hates plastic bags
how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH
English Person: *Points at an apple* Apple
French Person: Non c’est une fucking pomme
*800 years of war*
Fun fact: There are a lot of rivers in the UK named “avon” because the Romans arrived and asked the Celts what the rivers were called. The Celts answered “avon.”
“Avon” is just the Celtic word for river.
Fan Fact #2: When Spanish conquistadors landed in the Yucatán peninsula, they asked the natives what their land was called and they responded “Yucatán”. In 2015, it was discovered that in those mesoamerican languages, “Yucatán” meant “I don’t understand what you are saying”
W H E E Z E
I’m going to give you the best piece of Adult Life Is Hard advice I’ve ever learned:
Talk to people when things go to shit.
I don’t just mean get it off your chest, although that’s good. I mean: Something’s wrong with your paycheck/you lost your job/you had unexpected emergency car repairs and now you’re broke so your credit card payment is late. Like, not just 15 days late. We’re talking, shit got crazy and now you’re 90 days late with compounded interest and late fees and the Minimum Payment Due is, like, $390, and you’ve got about $3.90 in your bank account. Call the credit card company.
I know it’s scary. I know you feel like you’re going to get in trouble, like you’re gong to get yelled at or scolded for not having your life together. But the credit card company isn’t your parents; they’re just interested in getting money from you. And you can’t squeeze blood from a stone or money from someone who doesn’t have any. So what you do is you call them. You explain you’re experiencing temporary financial hardships, and you’re currently unable to bring your account up to date, but you don’t want to just let it get worse. Can you maybe talk to someone about a payment plan so you can work something out? Nine times out of ten you’ll be able to negotiate something so that at least it’s not just taking a constant, giant shit on your credit score.
- Can’t pay your power bill? Call the power company.
- Can’t pay your full rent? Talk to your landlord.
- Had to go to the hospital without insurance and have giant medical bills looming in your place? Call the hospital and ask if they have someone who helps people with financial hardships. Many do.
- Got super sick and missed half a semester of class because flu/pneumonia/auto-immune problems/depressive episode? Talk to your professor. If that doesn’t help, talk to your advisor.
You may not be able to fix everything, but you’ll likely be able to make improvements. At the very least, it’s possible that they have a list of people you can contact to help you with things. (Also, don’t be afraid to google things like, “I can’t pay my power bill [state you live in]” because you’d be surprised at what turns up on Google!) But the thing is, people in these positions gain nothing if you fail. There’s no emotional satisfaction for them if your attempts at having your life together completely bite the dust. In fact, they stand to benefit if things work out for you! And chances are, they’ll be completely happy to take $20 a month from you over getting $0 a month from you, your account will be considered current because you’ve talked to them and made an agreement, you won’t get reported to a collections agency, and your credit score won’t completely tank.
Here’s some helpful tips to keep in mind:
1. Be polite. Don’t demand things; request them. Let me tell you about how customer service people hold your life in their hands and how many extra miles they’ll go for someone who is nice to them.
2. Stick to the facts, and keep them minimal unless asked for them. Chances are they’re not really interested in the details. “We had several family emergencies in a row, and now I’m having trouble making the payments” is better than “Well, two months ago my husband wrecked his bike, and then he had a reaction to the muscle relaxer they gave him, and then our dog swallowed a shoestring and we had to take him to the emergency clinic, and just last week MY car broke down, and now my account’s in the negatives and I don’t know how I’m gonna get it back out.” The person you’re talking to is aware shit happens to everyone; they don’t need the details to prove you’re somehow “worthy” of being helped. They may ask you for details at a certain point if they have to fill out any kind of request form, but let them do that.
3. Ask questions. “Is there anything we can do about X?” “Would it be possible to move my payment date to Y day instead so it’s not coming out of the same paycheck as my rent?” The answer may be “no.” That’s not a failure on your part. But a good customer service person may have an alternate solution.
Anyway! I hope that helps! Don’t just assume the answer is “no” before you’ve even begun. There is more help out there than you ever imagined.
being nice goes far to get people on your side.
LabraThor. (via TrePic__)
*teleports to you and refills your water bottle while you’re not looking*
thanks!
Mitt Romney’s family misspell their last name in the greatest Freudian slip in history.
I’m not even sorry
never forget
pro tip: before getting serious w a man, just casually mention ur period. like, just say ‘my cramps are bad rn’ or ‘I have to go buy some pads’. his reaction is very telling of how mature and understanding he is. you don’t wanna be dating a grown ass man who gets grossed out by the word menstruation. u deserve someone who is comfortable w u and I do mean all of u. you’ll be thanking urself for doing it now and not later hun!
THIS IS REALLY INDICATIVE OF HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS. TRUST ME.
True story. Once, I dated a guy once that wouldn’t let me pay for my own pads him he has with me. He wouldn’t go out and buy them himself if I needed them though. I had to stand next to him, which defeated the whole reason for him going to buy me any. Was uncomfortable with period talk and letting me pay for things myself.
Once, I also dated a guy that wouldn’t even stand in the pads alley with him. It grossed him out. Everything about my period grossed him out and he didn’t want to touch me. Just left me alone and didn’t want to deal with any of it. Wouldn’t even stand next to me when I bought pads.
Now, the guy I’m with and going to marry, he is a whole different story. I was dying of cramps and got my period while finishing up a class. (My campus can get very bad to the point where I’m shaking in pain or unable to move) Mistakenly didn’t bring pads and texted I needed him to do me the biggest favor. Not only did he buy me pads (something he does from time to time when I need them) but he marched through campus with them not bothering to hide it and brought me Advil.
Last week, I was dying in pain and lost my hot pack when I went to visit my mother. I asked him to buy me a new one and he forgot. So, I’m in massive pain near tears and it’s past ten at night wishing I hadn’t been so stupid as to lose it. He gets dressed and goes out to get me a hot pack even when I tell him over and over that I can wait until morning and I don’t want him to go not because he needs to go to bed.
He flat out says “I love you. You asked me to get you a hot pack and I forgot. Now, you are in a lot of pain and I can’t stand to see that. So, I’m getting you the hot pack and I’ll be back soon.” Comes back with the hot pack, ice cream and a candy bar.
Not saying all men need to be this level of nice. But I am saying that bring up your period in a casual manner is a great way to see how people will treat you when you are sick, not feeling well, or just basically how they handled things.
ACTUALLY THEY DO NEED TO BE THAT LEVEL OF NICE THOUGH
You are absolutely correct, and I was a fool not to realize it sooner.
My grampa was like this. I still remember sitting in the bathroom throwing up, because hella period nausea, and him holding my hair out of my face and like … not exactly rubbing my back. Sort of patting it. Like he was trying to be comforting but wasn’t quite sure how, because a 17-year-old girl throwing up and crying and telling him this was normal was outside his wheelhouse, which, given that he was in his 70s at the time and married my grandma when she was already in menopause, is understandable. Anyway, he went and called his niece for advice. She told him to give me plain herbal tea for pain (since Advil wasn’t staying down) and put me to bed, and he did and asked if I needed anything from the store, and went out and bought me pads and extra herbal tea, and called my school and told them I was sick and he was keeping me home.
If a man born in 1929 can pull it off, boys, so can you.
My husband is like this and it’s part of why I love him so much. He isn’t squeamish, sometimes knows my cycle better than I do, and is so sweet bringing me home chocolate or heating up my hot pack if I ask him to.
Something that happened at my work yesterday:
Art Teacher: Can you explain some of the reasons why my students would need to refine their writing skills? My Boss: [Long and slightly pretentious explanation about how artists need to explain and unpack the meaning of their art and their motivations and write museum blurbs] Me [a writing tutor, watching a group of 30 students shut down]: …may I say something? Art Teacher: …yes? Me: I’m friends with professional illustrators, folks who work in the comics industries, people who do 3D printing for a living, and people who do commissioned art. And the best reason to refine your writing is to be able to explain to people why it’s worth something, and be able to get other people excited about what you’re doing so that you don’t “die from exposure”. Portfolio summaries are important. So is social media. Everything from instagram captions to Patreon posts- Students: [instantly perk up and pay attention] Art Teacher: [interrupting me with a nervous laugh] Yes well we all need to make a living, but REAL artists- Students: [all tune out again]
STOP!!! FUCKING!!! DOING THIS!!! Art students deserve to know how the skills they’re learning will help them professionally, regardless of how they choose to use their art degree. Teaching that there’s only one way to “make it” as an artist is what literally STOPPED ME FROM DOING ART because I knew I was never going to be a museum artist. (All I wanted to do was doodle fairies.)
Anyway I’m gonna die mad about this.
Fuck art elitists who act like the only “real” art is museum/gallery art. Just because the person who paid for your art is a millionaire in a dick measuring contest with other millionaires doesn’t make your art inherently superior to another artist whose art was paid for by someone who wanted their D&D character illustrated and will love that art every time they get their character sheet out.
SpongeBob, where’s my order?
Did you look under the tray?
Oh. No I didn’t, sorry.
my favorite part is, there’s two equally enjoyable and in character ways to look at this, he either
humored the suggestion sarcastically to express to spongebob how stupid it was
humored the suggestion seriously and hates himself for it
the tea is scorching hot today!!
Shipping real people will never be cute, it’s gross and creepy. Stop.
shipping real people will never be cute, it’s gross and creepy. stop.
appreciation post for these random fishermen in Moana
cute
perfectly convey the EXACT emotion you feel when two people you know well but don’t know “well” get into a family argument in front of you