MissRibbon @zomb-beth - Tumblr Blog

Monday

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

grimeclown

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

blextrophy

tinybed

little baby… i’m taking u home with me

abyssaldyke

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.

cecilias-cool-stuff

Never stop hating

2well2water

stop posting about your badly behaved dog i mean husband online if you’re going to get upset with the people telling you he’s a bite risk. “look at what my husband packed me for my lunch” and it’s the most insulting low effort assortment of snacks you’ve ever seen accompanied with a note that says “i see you as subhuman”. “ugh guys stop telling me my husband doesn’t respect me you’re not the ones in the relationship you don’t know what he’s really like” yes i do and i think you should have him put down.

aspiringwarriorlibrarian

Digital de-aging is bad not just because it always looks creepy as fuck no matter how much money they pour into it, but because it deprives me of getting to see the fucking black magic of a) the casting director somehow finding someone who looks unnervingly like the original actor despite not being related at all and b) the actors completely convincing me that they are, in fact, the same person at different times in their life.

matrixdragon

And occasionally, the amusement of sticking a bad wig and some makeup on the original actor and just demanding we accept they're a teenager now.

onceuponatimeinerebor

demilypyro

they made the Tumblr messaging system suck ass so girls will add eachother on Discord faster, greatly expediting a crucial step in the girl-on-girl courting ritual

slimetony

My doctor insists i cant eat clown food and that its bad for me

dezposts

What even is clown food?

slimetony

The food that they feed clowns to keep them docile and colorful

omtai

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

gramarye

feminism has backslid so hard in recent years people don't even know what free the nipple means anymore

briwhosaysni

To clarify for those who don't know, "free the nipple" isn't about going braless, it's about going topless

No shirt, no bra, completely bare torso, just like cis men are allowed to

It's about desexualizing breasts and "female presenting nipples" and not being criminalized for our bodies if we want to go topless because it's a million damn degrees out. This was a popular growing movement that was still widely known a decade ago!

And the fact that not wearing a bra is so discouraged and stigmatized that people think the movement was about being able to go braless under your shirt in public rather than about being able to not wear a shirt at all says a lot about how far we've backslid in the past decade

lizclimo

extrafabulouscomics

tvguts

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

jerryterry

Something I think about is my nephew's Buzz Lightyear toy. When I was a little kid, I had a Buzz of my own. It had spring-loaded pop-out wings, articulated fingers, a light-up LED wrist-laser. The buttons could be pressed, it spoke the exact same voice clips the toy himself would say in the movie. This toy, for the most part, was a near-perfect simulacrum of the movie character.

I bought my nephew a Buzz for his last birthday. Solid, permanently-open hands. 'Buttons' now a part of the mold, wrist-laser a mere printed sticker. No wings. Voice lines sound like a different person altogether.

In Toy Story 1, Buzz has to reckon with being a toy. In 2, he sees a whole store aisle lined with his identical clones. But I have to wonder, would it be worse if he could see each new generation of clones become something less and less like him? You were already an abstraction of a spaceman, and now these toys are an abstraction of a toy, a copy of a copy, speaking in a weak imitation of your own voice.

charl0ttan

big animal called 'deer' has been walking in the woods all big & scary & frightening. may want to not approach or suffer really really bad like super duper suffering okay.