I just managed to brake all of our Pyrex and now I need to explain that to my husband 🤔 #fuckme
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@zombiespacecats02
I just managed to brake all of our Pyrex and now I need to explain that to my husband 🤔 #fuckme
Mental and emotional draining times
It's been quite an emotional and mental state for a while now.
I'm trying to very hard to keep it together.
But sometimes, like today, just seem to be hard to do.
It doesn't help that I'm living with people who are draining to my mental health.
Unfortunately for me, these people are my stepchildren.
My stepdaughter had a fallout with my son and now she feels the need to talk crap about him to others on the phone, very loudly I might add. As if she wants him to hear.
It's not just my son who gets talked about but, also my daughter gets thrown in the mix even though she even rarely says a word to her in order to avoid any negative reactions from her.
I overheard my stepdaughter talking trash about both my kids last night. She was talking to her boyfriend about how my kids never put their clothes aways after washing. Which in all honesty its the dumbest complaint I've heard coming from her. My irritation towards her is, why does she care if they put their clothes away or not?!! Are the clothes in her room? Is she carrying them constantly in her arms? In what way to they inconvenience her??!! I'm about had it with her.
It's not the only time she has done this. She pretty much does it any chance she gets and no one is safe from her shit talking, not me or her dad, which mind you, he goes above and beyond for her her as much as he can.
I just don't understand people like her.
I get that her and my son don't get along. That doesn't bother me, what bothers me is why does she go out of her way to talk mad crap about him for literally anything, and makes sure we can all hear her. Like, what does she get out of that?!!
I'm at a point that if this happens again I'm going to tell her off right then and there and I won't care what happens next.
The problem is that once I cross that fed up line with someone, I don't ever come back, no matter what. Then it's someone less agreeable whom she'll deal with and my husband gets stuck in between. There's no win in this situation.
Lucky girl in an unlucky world
Today we went to my husband's grandfather's funeral. Despite being a sad event the actual funeral wasn't too depressing. I didn't know him all that well. By the time I came around the dementia was already in full swing.
Hearing the eulogy and the way he was described makes me wish I would have been able to meet him sooner.
It seems that I feel like that with every member of my husband's family.
I got to meet his mom. She was such a lovely person. She made you feel cared for and welcomed. I wish I would have gotten more time to get to know her more. Learned more about her, hear stories from her and her youth.
My husband's father passed away without me ever knowing him. But from what I have heard he seems to have been quite the character. I wish I would have gotten to know him.
Hearing about how lovely his grandpa was, knowing how lovely his mom was, and what a character his dad was, makes me see my husband in a whole different light.
It makes me appreciate him more. Makes my love for him even deeper still.
He grew up with such lovely people. I'm sure they weren't perfect, but they tried to be good I'm sure. As my husband tries to do the same.
You have no idea how lucky I am to have crossed paths with him. He is such a lovely person just like his parents and grandparents. He isn't perfect but he tries his best to be good. A good husband, dad, brother and son. And even though he doesn't see it, I do, and I love that about him.
This quarantine is making me crazy. I NEED my alone time.......
Watching the sunset ☀️
One Year Ago Today
Today is our one year wedding anniversary.
Not many people get the chance to meet their soulmate. And even less to marry them.
We are very lucky. Very blessed that we have.
It took us both, having harsh marriages, stressful divorces, and crazy ex spouses for us to realize how fortunate we are to have found each other.
I hope we have a long life so that we can make up for all the time we lost before.
I love my husband. And for the first time in my life, I can say with one hundred percent certainty that my husband loves me too.
Dark and Quiet
What is it about a dark and quiet room that makes me feel at ease?
Peaceful
Ok in my own skin
Like, I can restore myself in the quiet and the dark. Without judgment. Without trying to please anyone. Just myself, the quiet and the dark.
It's like seeing an old friend whom I didn't realize how much I've missed them, until that moment when I see them again.
Lights out.
Fan on.
Sitting on the bed.
Taking in the stillness of the night.
It's almost like falling in love.
I don't have to say or do anything. We equally share the moment and embrace it.
Close my eyes. Think of nothing. Take it all in. I find peace in these moments. I am completely myself right now.
It snowed here on Thanksgiving Day. It probably isn't a big deal if you live in a place where it snows all the time. But, given the fact that we live in the CA desert, well let's just say it was a pretty big deal here 😄
Of sickness and other illnesses
It has been so much fun around here. It all started when our oldest girl came back home with the stomach flu that she picked it at at friends sleep over. Then it was just a matter of time for the domino effect. Next thing you know all the kids, one by one have gotten it. It finally caught up with my husband. I decided that it would be best to sleep in the front room with the little one so as to not catch it. Looks like me and the baby are the only ones who haven't caught it. At this point if I do catch it, it would probably be the only way I can rest and have an actual full night of sleep! As for the baby, god I hope he doesn't get, I really really do. I kept telling the kids that if they are sick to please stay in there rooms, but do they listen??!, No they don't!! It's just very frustrating trying to contain the virus when they are vomiting all over the place and won't stay quarantined! Yeah I've been stressing about the baby getting sick. It seems that no matter what I've tried or how much I have tried to keep it under wraps it's just not doing anything. Anyhoo, I write this as I lay in bed, the same bed my husband has been sick in for the past two days. I guess that que será será 🤷
Where is my mind?
Finally six weeks postpartum, my body has definitely healed. Not one hundred percent but definitely close. I do get physically tired very easily, but considering what my body has been through I can somewhat understand. I'm sure in time I'll be as good as before. The only thing that bothers me, is my mind. No, I'm not suffering from postpartum depression, it's more like postpartum drowsiness. I feel like I have taken some strong pain medication and I just can't seem to focus. Everything feels like a dream, where physically I'm here but not really all there. I keep apologizing to my husband because he will ask me to do something and as soon as I leave the room I completely forget. I feel like sleep is not enough. I feel like even if I would sleep a whole day I would still feel this fogginess in my head. I know that with time I will start feeling better. I keep reminding myself of that. Glad my body is doing better, now my mind just has to catch up.
Normal
Today is the day that I actually started to feel normal again. Not mentally, or emotionally but physically. My body actually feels like it's going back to normal, no aches or pains, just like my usual self. For a moment there I thought something was seriously wrong with me because the pain I had in my whole body, from head to toe, was unbearable. But it was all due to the extensive pushing I did. Didn't hit me till a couple of days ago. Glad to know that nothing was seriously wrong and that it was all part of the process.
Don't let anyone tell you that giving birth is easy because it's not. The hormonal changes plus the lack of sleep, loss of blood, and the huge changes your body goes through in a day it takes a lot out of you. But remember, that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
Face punch
Why is it, that there's some people, that as soon as you see them, you feel like punching them in the face? Serious answers only
100%
Can't wait to feel 100% again. Being physically restricted is not fun. Especially when I enjoy being able to do as needed. Just gotta be patient until I get there......
2 Weeks Ago
2 Weeks ago today, I gave birth to my 3rd child, and I have to say that nothing prepared me for how much better this time around it was going to be.
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