DEAR BOYS: SORRY I STALKED Y’ALL
pairing: nonidol!ot8!skz x stalker!fem!reader
genre: dark romance, comedy
summary: your body disposal gets interrupted by a group of boys… really pretty boys, and you can’t help but get extremely obsessed with them. they just… don’t know about it. but you manage to pull them.
warnings: reader is a murderer, graphic violence, homicidal behavior, stalking, obsession, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, stealing, all these horrible things listed above were done by reader, mentions of drugs(please genuinely don’t do drugs guys, it’s horrible, i’m only writing them like this because i’m writing dumb characters!!), sexual content(female masturbation, mentions of protected p in v and some places unclear if protected or not, oral f and m receiving, tiny mentions of anal, the sex scenes not in big detail and the sex is not the main thing in the fic), all the boys are lowk dumb & funky, it’s more realistic if we imagine reader with healed sh scars but it’s not mentioned in the fic at all, slight mxm in one scene but no relationships made clear, i think this can be called dead dove do not eat
word count: 20k
you’re walking through the forest at night, branches snapping under your boots, breath fogging, dragging a body behind you, wrapped in plastic. catching on roots, rocks, life’s little inconveniences.
you really should’ve brought gloves. again. you always think that. you never do it. whatever.
and you have just no idea that just meters away, eight friends are sitting around a campfire.
“i’m telling you,” jeongin says, exhaling a slow stream of smoke, sitting on a log, smoking a cigarette, and it looks so hot on him. “there is something in the woods. a man. or the bigfoot. maybe the mothman.”
“oh fuck off.” chan says, grinning. he’s got his big manly shoulders hunched forward, elbows on his knees, staring into the flames. “pass the chips before i start eating pinecones, im serious.”
felix is half laying against a log, vape in hand, blowing out a cloud that smells like watermelon. hums a little. maybe in agreement? maybe in disagreement? maybe his dick hurts again because hours ago jeongin accidentally hit him in the crotch with a really big stick? who knows. he passes the chips to chan.
“this is nice.” changbin says, smiling at the fire. “we should do this more often.”
“we should survive this first.” han mumbles, glancing into the trees.
“relax.” hyunjin says. he reaches over, stealing felix’s vape and taking a slow hit. “what’s the worst that could happen?”
minho just shrugs, staring into the flames.
“serial killer.” jeongin says immediately.
“bear attack.” seungmin adds.
“haunted forest.” han throws in, increasingly stressed.
“you guys watch too many movies.” chan says.
none of them hear the distant, dull thud of something heavy being dragged across the ground.
changbin starts digging in a bag to calm the others down. “does anyone want—okay, no, don’t throw that—han, catch—”
han fumbles the bag of chips, nearly drops it, then clutches it. “i got it. i got it. we’re good.”
“we were not good for a second there.” seungmin says.
“yeah, that was a close one.” jeongin adds, deadpan, flicking ash onto the dirt.
they’re such boys. around the little fire they set up(chan set up because he insisted on it, average man) it’s already messy, they leave fucking trash around, they’re just horrible. men.
hyunjin hands the vape back without looking, eyes flicking toward the trees for a second.
“relax.” chan says, noticing. “there’s nothing out there.”
hyunjin hums, unconvinced but not arguing.
“except your mom.” felix giggles, taking his little vape back and taking a fat pull. then holds it out to han. “you want next? it’s basically salad in smoke form, healthy as shit.”
han is fidgeting, blanket around his shoulders. “i dunno man… what if a bear smells the vape and thinks we’re giant watermelons? i’m not dying for your lung cancer bro, no offense.”
the fire crackles. sparks drift up.
jeongin takes another drag, squinting into the woods. “still. would be kinda insane if someone was just… out there.”
seungmin snorts. “yeah, what, dragging a body or something?”
they laugh.
meanwhile, you stab the shovel into the ground. finally. the metal goes into the dirt, and you lean your weight into it, push down with your foot, then lift it back.
first scoop.
you toss it to the side.
second.
third.
dig, lift, throw. dig, lift, throw.
“i’m gonna piss.” hyunjin says, standing up.
“don’t fall in.” seungmin says.
“don’t get murdered.” jeongin adds, flicking his cigarette.
“do get murdered.” minho mutters.
“don’t come back.” felix says.
“don’t go too far.” chan calls after him.
hyunjin lifts a hand in a little “yeah yeah” gesture without looking back.
it’s darker away from the fire. obviously. but like, noticeably darker. he fumbles with his zipper, muttering under his breath about this and that and—his foot catches on something. he doesn’t even have time to process it before he’s falling forward, hands coming out too late, and he slams into the ground.
his knee hits first, then his palms, and something shifts under him. wrong. plastic… slippery?
not rock. not root.
he freezes.
there’s a second, just one, where he thinks, no, ignore that. stand up. pretend that didn’t happen.
then he looks down.
the shape under the shiny black plastic is… familiar to humans biologically. long. wrapped. the plastic catches what little light there is, and there’s something inside. something very clearly inside.
“…what the fuck.” he breathes. looks up. sees you a few feet away, shovel in hand, dirt disturbed at your feet, a shallow start of a hole behind you.
you’re both still for a while.
and hyunjin screams. not like a cool, composed, masculine shout, no a full fucking little girl scream as he scrambles backward, slipping again, hands digging into the dirt as he puts distance between you and… that.
god. he’s beautiful. on the ground where be belongs, hair a little messy, eyes wide as fuck, he’s stunning.
“wait, wait.” you say quickly. you shift the shovel slightly, angling it away.
“oh my god, oh my god, oooooh—” he’s half whispering, half yelling, hands coming up. “i—i didn’t—i didn’t see, i thought—what the fuck is that?”
you… stand there. shovel in hand. a girl. alone. with a shovel. and a big fucking bag. in the woods. great.
“i— are you—are you—” his eyes are so big, you haven’t felt attraction since… ever, but he’s a really pretty guy, you can admit that.
you let the shovel slip from your hands, meets the ground. now, your acting skills come in handy. your shoulders tense, then fold inward just slightly. you learned how to do this, how to angle your body into this, you learned the biology and psychology of this, why humans act like this when they’re about to cry and how they act. your breathing shifts, quicker now, uneven. you bring a hand up to your mouth.
“i didn’t mean to.” you say. it comes out quiet. really adorable. you take a tiny tiny step back, acting like you’re scared, guilty. fucking ACTIIIING. “i didn’t—i didn’t know what else to do.” you whimper out.
“what…?”
you shake your head quickly, like you can’t even get the words out properly, like this is all just too much. “he—” your voice catches, you let it. lean into it. “he was—he was my ex and he—he hit me and i—i just—” you stop, breath hitching. god, you’re such a good liar, y/n.
you don’t have to force the tears as much as you’d think. just, yknow, enough to blur your vision slightly, enough to make your eyes feel better.
crocodile tears.
they work. they always do.
his tense posture drops. his hands, which were held up to push himself away, hesitate. “wait, hey. hey, it’s okay—are you—are you okay?”
you shake your head. “i didn’t mean to kill him.” you whisper, acting like you can’t even look at what you’ve done. “i just—he wouldn’t stop and i— euugh…” you cut yourself off again, pressing your lips together, acting like you’re holding the just oh so cruel reality back from an innocent guy like he is. you ain’t holding shit back, this is just an act. you evil bitch.
“hey, hey—” he pushes himself up, cautious. “it’s okay, i’m not—i’m not gonna… just what happened? if you, want to tell me, of course—“
you shake your head, eyes darting like you’re panicking. “he wasn’t supposed to—i just—i… i just wanted him to leave me alone…”
his face scrunches up. there it is. god. men are so predictable it’s insulting.
you look down, wrapping your arms around yourself. “i didn’t know what to do. i just… i panicked.”
“are you… are you hurt?” hyunjin asks, stepping closer.
you hesitate. again, all an act. then shake your head. “i’m fine.” but it comes out weak, unconvincing on purpose.
he doesn’t buy it, well that’s the point so after all he does buy it. takes a cautious step closer, then another. the bag is next to his feet now. he avoids looking at it. that’s interesting.
“hey. it’s… okay, just calm down, alright?” he’s quieter, gentler.
he puts his hand on your arm. warm. feels good.
you look down at it, then up at him. his face is… open(you haven’t seen a face this open since you tried your new axe out, okay murder aside it is a really open boy face, not keeping anything back from you). worried. brows drawn together, so beautiful. so dumb. so trusting and naive because you’re pretty.
“did he… did he hurt you bad?”
you let out a shaky breath. nod.
bitch please. you’ve never had a boyfriend. never needed one. never wanted one.
“i didn’t know what else to do.” you whisper, acting ashamed of it, looking down so he can see the tears drop. ohhh you evil whore.
“hey. hey, look at me.”
you hesitate before you do, make him want it first. also big mistake on his part, wanting this. eye contact makes it easier for you.
“you did what you had to do.” he says. let’s note that hyunjin is an evil bitch, he’s a boy, a dumb heartbreaker. “okay? if he was hurting you, if you were in danger, then… then that’s not… that’s not your fault.”
you watch him, how he’s trying to fix this. to fix you. to make it something understandable, something easier for his normal human boy mind to swallow. he’s comforting himself more, kind of. it’s endearing.
“i was just going to bury him.” you say, glancing back at the half started hole. “and then just… leave. i’m so sorry.” you start actually crying at the last words. the actress ever.
he follows your gaze, then quickly looks back at you again, swallowing. “alone?”
you nod.
he looks so… protective. “you shouldn’t be out here alone. i mean—not like—you know what i mean.”
you just let more pretty little tears drop.
he takes a big breath. “you don’t— you don’t have to— i mean— shit.” he runs a hand through his hair, clearly scrambling. “okay, okay, we can— we can figure this out, alright? i’ve got friends, we’re just, we’re camping not far from here, we can—”
friends.
oh okay.
you shake your head quickly, eyes wide and big and face looking heartbroken. “no, no, i can’t, can’t, if anyone finds out—”
“they won’t. i mean, fuck, okay, maybe they will, but we can—we can help, okay? we’ll figure something out.”
we.
he’s already including you??? what a cutie!
“you won’t tell anyone?” you ask, pathetic.
he hesitates. good. that means he’s thinking.
“i…” he glances back toward where he came from, then back at you. “not if you don’t want me to.”
and there we go.
“thank you.” you whisper. another tear slips down.
“hyune?” another man’s voice.
hyunjin’s head snaps toward the sound so fast you almost hear it.
“where the fuck did you go? did bigfoot fuck you bro?” another voice, different tone.
there’s three of them. (chan, his posture tells that he knows something is off. seungmin just behind him, eyes narrowed slightly. nobody can see that, of course, it’s still dark. changbin behind the two.)
fuck. okay. you don’t move. neither does hyunjin.
for a bit, it’s just a weird little… situation. you, him, the shovel on the ground, the bag just out of their immediate line of sight because of the angle and the trees and pure luck.
chan looks at hyunjin. (hyune, as you know him now) “what’s up, bro?” then, he clocks the little body next to hyunjin. “oh shit. hi? you… lost out here, sweetheart?”
hyunjin looks at them, then at you.
you shake your head.
don’t.
“i’m—i’m fine.” you say, voice angelic, a little shaky still. all on purpose. you take a small step back, trying to create distance from all of them at once. acting so scared. “i just… i’d rather—if you could just leave me alone.” you’re thinking about which one you’d gut first if they push.
“hey, no one’s—” changbin starts gently.
“nah, it’s…” hyunjin cuts in, so fast, then clears his throat, trying to smooth it out. “it’s nothing. she’s, uh, she’s good.”
seungmin doesn’t say anything, you wouldn’t even know he’s here if you hadn’t heard him barking around about bigfoot fucking hyunjin. which is fucking hilarious but bursting out laughing would kinda throw your perfect performance off.
hyunjin forces a shit laugh out. son get yourself together. “i just scared her, i think. came outta nowhere.”
you drop your gaze. like yeah, some random guy stumbling out of the woods while you’re alone at night.
seungmin tilts his head, talks to you. “you sure? ‘cause if some dude’s out here fuckin’ with you—”
“no dude.” you say quick, eyes flicking to hyunjin. sorry, hyune. “he really did just scare me. i was on a walk.”
“yeah uh… she’s good. i checked. we’re all good. let’s head back, guys. fire’s probably dying.”
chan is watching you, trying to figure out if you’re a problem or if you have a problem. “you sure you’re good?” god. the tone. what a man.
“yeah. yeah, i’m fine.”
“hey.” changbin says, sweet because damn you cute. “it’s okay. we’re not— we’re not gonna bother you, alright? we’re just over there.” he gestures behind them. “if you need anything or whatever, you can come by. if you want. no pressure. yeah.”
something weird is… in you. okay, wait, fuck, you’ve never felt this before. people are meat. meat screams, meat bleeds, meat goes in bags. feelings are for other people, not you. these dumb fucks actually want you safe?? tf?? it’s disgusting. it’s ridiculous. it’s… good??
you nod again. “thank you.”
chan exhales through his nose, then jerks his head slightly back toward where they came from. “alright. we’ll leave you to it.” he looks at hyunjin. “come on.”
hyunjin hesitates again. god, he’s bad at this. “okay.”
changbin gives you one last small, reassuring smile, which you still can’t see btw, it’s so dark that you couldn’t make fucking bigfoot out even if he stood in front of your nose. or if he was fucking hyunjin. “seriously, though. don’t be afraid to come by, okay?”
“okay. thank you.”
seungmin scratches his head. “take care, alright?”
“okay. you too.”
they turn, slow, not so sure about the situation, if you’re really fine. start to leave.
hyunjin mouths “i got you” then turns, follows his boys.
chan claps him on the shoulder. makes him stumble. “you’re explaining this later, dipshit.”
seungmin mutters “fucking weirdo beating it to scared lonely girls” under his breath.
changbin waves.
their voices drift. fade. gone. silence again. just you. and the body.
he’s an idiot.
absolute fucking idiot.
you look down at your arm, where that idiot’s hand was. it’s nothing. obviously. just skin. just warmth that’s already gone because our skin doesn’t hold it, doesn’t need it.
you’ve never… you don’t… feelings aren’t really your thing. that’s kind of the whole thing. but something, something weird, small and cute and annoying stays in you now. so new. so upsetting.
you exhale. bend down, pick up the shovel. mutter “fuck.” quietly, more out of habit than anything.
and then you stab it back into the ground. because whatever that was, it doesn’t matter.
it doesn’t matter how nice they were. how helpful. it also doesn’t matter that you’re really thinking about them now. who was that friend of hyune that called you sweetheart? sounded cute. was built cute. had a cute face from what you could make out.
and make out you’d do with him. would even let him drive his big hands in your hair, guiding your head down, sitting back against a tree while you kneel between his thighs. you’d love to listen to him say “fuck, sweetheart, just like that.” you’d take him all the way into your little mouth, nose to his skin, let him feel how much you can handle, how good you can suck him off, make him lose that calmness he dealt with you with until he’s bucking around.
who was the other guy that was going on about bigfoot? he was hilarious. that deserves a blowjob too, you’d say. uhuh, yeaahhh, you’d have him standing, back to a tree, legs spread, hands fisted in your hair while you suck him sloppy, spit dripping down your chin. make him your bitch.
and you’d lay that third wide sweetheart down on a sleeping bag, soft licks on him first, teasing swirls around the head until he’s whimpering “please, baby, please” yeah you’d take him gentle then deep, then suck so hard he feels it in his balls, let him hold your hands and whatnot sweet shit these kinda men are into because damn he was an angel.
hyune, that’s what your boy’s name was? doesn’t suit him. might be a nickname. anyways. he deserves a reward for what he just pulled for you, that reward containing your tongue tracing every vein on his cock, sucking just the tip until he’s begging, pretty please, baby, let me cum, i’ll be good i’ll keep your secrets blablabla. you’d let him, swallow every drop, then lick him clean while he stares at you and also try really hard not to stare at the body bag.
yeah you’re lowk a perv.
but these creepy little fantasies keep you entertained while burying the body. which you just finished with btw. you smooth it out, kick some leaves over it, drag your foot across the surface until it looks like everything else.
like nothing ever happened.
like no one was ever here.
you stand there.
then you pick up the shovel.
and instead of leaving… you go towards where the boys disappeared towards.
oh this is stupid. you know it’s stupid. there is no practical reason to do this. none. zero. negative, even. this is how people get caught, this is how dumb people die, how multiple victims of yours died already. you go anyway. doesn’t take long to see the glow even, firelight flickering through the trees. voices, loud, boy.
you stop in a fair little distance, close enough to hear, far enough to not be seen. you lean lightly on a tree, paying attention so the shovel doesn’t hit anything and make noise, and you listen.
“…i’m telling you, she was not normal, bro.” seungmin is saying as you settle behind the tree a little.
“yeah, no shit she wasn’t normal, she was alone in the woods at night.” jeongin says. “that’s already like… step one of weird.”
“she wasn’t weird weird, she was just scared.” changbin says quickly.
“yeah.” hyunjin adds, so fast. oh he’s bad at this. “she was just scared.”
chan pokes at the fire with a stick. “scared of what? you?”
“probably.” seungmin says. “i mean, look at him. man walks outta the dark while you’re alone? i’d be like yeah, cool, this is how i die.”
“thank you.” hyunjin mutters. “fuckface.”
felix leans back on his hands, stretching his legs out. “was she cute, though?”
silence.
your mouth opens a bit.
oh.
“…yeah.” changbin says first, a little hesitant but honest.
oh?
“yeah.” seungmin agrees immediately. “like—yeah.”
oh???
“yeah, no, she was.” changbin says. “like really cute.”
“oh my god.” jeongin says, sitting up straighter. “what the fuck do you mean she was cute and you just left her out there?!”
“calm down.” chan says, shoving him lightly with his foot. “she wanted to be left alone.”
jeongin slaps chan’s foot away. “no girl actually wants to be left alone in the woods at night—”
“you’re creepy, dude.” minho mutters.
“i’m just saying—”
“no, you’re just being weird.”
hyunjin is sitting back where he was before(except you don’t know where he was before but whatevs), but he’s not relaxed. so tense. you can see it even from here, the way he keeps glancing toward the trees. you smile.
“you could have just dicked her down.” felix mutters, voice so deep now that it’s a longer sentence, omfg who is this you’re interested, even while his posture is ass.
“what was she even doing out there?” han asks, leaning forward, oh he looks like a little bug, hello little bug.
“walking, i guess. or just… needed space.” changbin says.
“yeah.” seungmin adds. “probably just wanted a walk alone and then hyunjin is in the woods. i’d run.”
hyunjin. what a name.
“man or bear.” felix says.
“what?” chan looks at him.
“it’s on tiktok, dude. would you rather run into a man or a bear in the woods.”
they’re so fucking dumb.
“bear? i’d fight the bear.” changbin mutters.
“fucking liar.” chan whispers.
“no, i’m serious. at least the bear’s predictable.”
jeongin does that boyish smile while raising your eyebrows thing. “predictably eating you.”
“eating you out.” felix giggles. ???
“still better odds than some random dude.” seungmin says.
“hey.” chan gestures at himself, offended. “i’m a random dude.”
“yeah and i fucking hate you.”
“i’m strong. i’d take a man in a fight.” han says.
“it’s a question for women, asshole.” minho mutters.
changbin nods. “yeah she was shaking like a leaf—“
jeongin gets up. “i’m gonna go say hi.”
“no you’re not.” chan says, grabbing the top of his jeans and yanking him back down.
“let me go—”
“sit the fuck down.” seungmin says, grabbing his arm too.
“there’s a hot girl in the woods—”
“and she asked to be left alone.” changbin says. he’s so cute.
“yeah, and i’m gonna respectfully not do that—”
“dude.” hyunjin mutters. it’s really firm. hot tbh.
that does it. jeongin flops back down. “assholes. missed opportunity.”
“she’ll come by if she wants to. we told her, right?” changbin reassures.
“yeah. she knows.”
“and if she doesn’t, then she doesn’t.” chan says. “leave it.”
“fine.” jeongin mutters, lighting another cigarette because he’s a dumb boy. “but if she does show up, i’m talking to her first.”
“no, you’re not.” seungmin says.
“yes, i am.”
“no, you’re—”
you watch them. they’re all cute. why are they all cute?
“did she say anything else?” chan asks, looking at hyunjin again. they seem like good friends. they fit together well as friends. so boys.
hyunjin hesitates. you watch him. “…not really. just… thanked us.”
he’s not perfect, but good enough.
“i just think it’s a missed connection. like we should’ve exchanged numbers or something.” jeongin says.
“yeah, because that wouldn’t be creepy at all.” minho says.
“hey, want my number while you’re clearly uncomfortable and trying to be alone?” chan says.
han laughs. “dude, i’m so hard right now.”
“yeah, bro.” seungmin says.
“yeeeeah.” felix daps him up.
“same.” jeongin says, smiling ear to ear. he’s beautiful.
“you’re disgusting.” changbin says, laughing that cute little babe laugh.
“what? you said she was cute.” han shrugs.
“that doesn’t—” changbin starts, then gives up halfway through, covering his face. “oh my god.”
“it’s a natural reaction.” han tells him.
“to what? a conversation?” minho asks quietly.
“to the idea.” han says.
“the idea.” seungmin repeats.
“yeah.”
“just don’t nut in your sleeping bag again like last camping trip.” felix mutters, then takes a hit from his little vape.
han stomps a little. such a hot babe. “that was one time. and it was your fault for describing your sister’s friend’s ass in detail.”
you physically have to press your lips together to not laugh. watch them but in that studying way of yours that you do so well, how they lean into each other, how they interrupt, talk over, laugh too loud. the way none of them seem… alone. that they’re friends.
annoying.
hyunjin kept your secret. for no reason. for you. dumb. all of them.
you bite your lip, thighs squeezing together because shit damn fuck this is hot. they think you’re the victim. you’re the bad one here, and they’re at the idea of saving you.
jeongin’s still throwing his pretty body around. that tank top looks good on him. “just let me go peek. i won’t even talk to her. i’ll just… admire from afar.“
chan rolls his eyes. sassy. like okay daddy. “no. she asked for space, we give it. end of story.”
shit. you enjoy listening to this.
okay tbh let him come. you’d let him chase you a little, make him work for it, then push him against a tree and drop to your knees like right there, suck him fast while he groans “fuck yes baby, knew you wanted it” while you hollow your cheeks and make him cum down your throat in under two minutes because he’s all talk.
that other guy next(han), you’d pull him away from the group, sit him on a fallen log, straddle his lap so slow and so teasing, grind while he’s whimpering “is this real?” yeah baby it is and you’d help with that boner situation real quick.
then the deep voiced guy(felix). you’d blow him while he’s still hitting that cancer maker, making him cough-laugh-moan, calling you babe while you swirl your tongue just right until he bucks and cums sofly(softly, he looks like a fucking twink) with a long “fuuuuck”
you’d kneel in front of that quiet(but real funny) one too(minho), look up through your lashes, take him so slow and so thorough, aaaaaall until he’s gripping your jaw to fuck it, cumming while shaking. from where you are, when he does get talkative, he’s hot.
but when minho does get talkative again, you leave. not because he finally spoke more, you’d love to listen, but because you have to fucking go.
they’ll never know how close you were.
how close you still are.
dumb boys.
you drive out there again at like 4am the next day, hike until you find their place again. it’s trashed, empty beer cans, just men littering. assholes. but the important part is the tire tracks. two vehicles. you follow one out to the main road, remember the direction they went off (toward the city, not the highway), then go home and start your little business.
you find jeongin in no time. in a club, specifically. dancing, cig somehow lit (how the fuck), hips not stopping, sweat making his shirt cling, sly grin everytime a girl grinds on him. someone tries to take the cigarette from his mouth. he dodges, grinning. “buy your own.” asshole. you follow him when he leaves at 3am with two friends. his apartment’s fifth floor.
next day you learn he bartends at a bar two streets over, y’know shaking cocktails, flirting with everyone, sneaking cig breaks in the alley where you’re hiding behind a dumpster eating fries. other option, you sit at the bar in a wig and fake glasses (cliche but effective), order a soda, watch him flirt, pour shots with flips, flip me like that too daddy, wink at girls while calling guys boss. he’s disgusting. perfect. you imagine sucking him off behind the bar while he tries to keep pouring. you leave before close.
he lives alone. parties every night. you watch from the roof across the street deadass through binoculars while he rails some random girl on his couch, then immediately texts his gc with the boys after. that’s about how much he cares about the girl. so not at all. jeongin, you beautiful slut, you’re perfect.
once you start, it’s… hard to stop. you already have one thread. might as well pull the rest.
changbin and hyunjin are roommates in a cute two bedroom loft above a coffee shop, big windows, have blinds but they forget to close most of the time. fuck you hope they’re not gay. well not like you would have a problem with them being gay, you just really want to fuck them. like really.
on yeah you found the names out. heard them talk, listened carefully. simple shit, wasn’t hard. (you’re a fucking creep)
hyunjin’s room has soft lighting, so him, posters of bands you don’t give a flying fuck about, art shit, and usually hyunjin himself sprawled on his bed in just boxers scrolling tiktok with the most angelic little face or frown or smile while changbin yells from the kitchen “bro did you eat the last yogurt again you absolute whore” changbin’s room is simple, just like he is. maybe a bit messy until hyunjin starts to fuss over it and cleans up. you usually watch for hours, watching changbin talk to his mom on the phone, get into his nice car and talk to it like it’s his baby(luxury. changbin’s got money or daddy does. hot.), hyunjin laugh at his phone, watching him stretch, watching him scratch his balls. you’re so wet you almost slip off from wherever you’re watching. god you’re disgusting.
chan next. easier. he lives alone. you park in the alley behind his building most nights, watch him come home from whatever blue collar job he’s got (construction? delivery? something with his hands). shirtless fridge raids of his are… wow. fridge door opens, light comes out, you can see his broad body, sweatpants always about to slip off that round ass, scratching his abs while he stares into the fridge. grabs a beer, chugs half standing there, scratches his balls. you zoom in from across the street.
you hear him blasting shitty rap while doing push ups shirtless. so cute. manly. you sit on the fire escape across the alley eating and kinda maybe jerking off to the way his back muscles move. he was there for you in the woods so you’re there for his morning wood outline in those gray sweatpants. fair’s fair.
han and minho are in a shittier apartment complex downtown, third floor, blinds always open. brutal win tbh. you sit on the stairwell one afternoon pretending to scroll tiktok while han comes home from wherever nice boys go, carrying grocery bags and humming. minho’s already inside, you hear his voice when the door opens telling han to “quit singing that fucking song it’s stuck in my head now.” makes you want to puke and also hump the doorframe. you watch han jerk off once, quick, face buried in a pillow. you almost applaud.
seungmin also lives alone. looks really depressive but he seems to be having fun by himself(he always looks mad asf), he just lies around when he’s home. maybe on the couch, maybe in his bed when he’s not working. he’s pretty boring to watch but really pretty so maybe not that boring after all. he cooks for himself too. looks cute doing it. you’d like to try his food one day.
felix is rich. you tail him from the gym (where he and chan and changbin go to fuck around, felix does nothing) to a fucking mansion ass house with a gate code you memorize after watching him punch it in twice. parents barely home, felix smoking something on the balcony in a silk robe. you climb the fence one night and watch him facetiming his mom while shirtless, saying “yeah mom i ate vegetables today” right before he snorts a line of something off his coffee table.
when parents are home, he spends time with them. seems to be bored of them tho. (an: this characterization of felix is not affected by his sisters, so it’s up to you, dearest reader, to think of him as someone who has siblings or is a spoiled only child) you watch him walk in one afternoon and his mom hugs him at the door. he leans down into it, smiling, being an angel of a boy.
“you eat?” she asks.
“yeah, ma.”
liar. he didn’t. you know that because you followed him the whole day.
you climb the tree in his backyard sometimes, fucking lunatic, watch him through his bedroom window. he’s on discord with the boys, vaping(like specifically vaping, the pussy boy, real men smoke actual cigarettes, he’s a little bitch), being loud, saying nasty shit. does he kiss his mother with that mouth? you cackle in the tree so loud a neighbor’s dog barks. he’s dreamy and spoiled and seems out of reach and that naturally excites people more and you want to fuck him on his own king bed while his parents are in the bahamas.
they were up to be there for you. so now, you’re there for them. creepy? yeah. a little pervy? absolutely. but means a lot coming from you. because you want to go back to these assholes of boys, for some reason(and not kill them). again. and again. and again.
you’re everywhere and nowhere.
there for them. every night. every shower. every fridge look through. every drunk walk home. every disgusting fucking word said to each other.
you work on a fucking schedule. monday, hyunjin and changbin. tuesday, jeongin’s bar shift where you sit in the corner nursing one beer for six hours while he winks at you. wednesday, felix’s mansion where you watch him play video games in his underwear. thursday, seungmin’s place for watching him shower. friday, minho and han beating each other up playfully. saturday, chan walking around shirtless at home on the phone about some business. sundays go for planning. planning good, and the reward for that is watching them eat cereal, watching them argue over who gets the aux, watching them jack off, watching them exist, cute, clueless.
they wanted to save you, you’re just returning the favor. because you’re just looking out for them!!
you love doing this. you love watching chan stand in front of open fridge in just pants(no underwear if you’re lucky), scratching his happy trail absentmindedly while deciding between leftover pizza and beer. usually picks both. eats standing up, leaning on counter, one hand down his pants adjusting his dick. once flexed his pecs twice in the microwave’s reflection, then went back to scrolling his phone.
another time he jerked off on the couch facing the window. lights off, curtains open, fucking win, slow, good strokes while watching porn on his laptop, head tipped back, mouth open when he came on his stomach. wiped it with the same t shirt he was wearing earlier. boys.
he also orders food everytime. you have never seen this man make food.
hyunjin is quieter at home. comes out of the shower in just a white towel(doesn’t use other colored towels and doesn’t like it when binnie does either), water dripping down his chest, hair wet and dark. you like his hair. it’s almost kinda curly? cute. he stands in front of mirror, towel moving with him as he brushes his teeth, stomach muscles flexing when he reaches for mouthwash. once he let the towel drop completely to lotion his legs. holy fuck. long, pretty thighs, cock soft between them. you almost came just from watching and this is not an exaggeration.
beautiful even when he’s picking at a pimple in the bathroom mirror. one evening you see him humping the edge of the couch while on his phone, mouth open and panting because he’s trying to be quiet with changbin in the next room. cums in his boxers, bites his lip almost fucking bloody to stay silent, then changes like nothing happened.
changbin talks to himself while gaming, yells “fuck you laggy piece of shit” at the monitor, slams controller down, then apologizes to it and panics because he doesn’t want to buy another one. he came home drunk once, tripped over his own shoes(he’s lucky hyunjin didn’t see him walk in with shoes), face down on the bed still in jeans, ass up, snoring within thirty seconds. another night he jerked off under the covers, quiet little grunts, phone glowing on his face. finished with a soft “oh fuck yeah” and then immediately texted someone. you couldn’t see what he texted. you’re thrilled to.
you watch changbin vacuuming in just basketball shorts, singing until hyunjin shoves his dirty sock feet into changbin’s face. they also cook together a lot.
one evening hyunjin comes out of the shower in nothing but a towel on his hips, out to the kitchen to make something, and changbin wolf whistles then throws a pillow at him. hyunjin drops the towel to mess with bin, standing there naked(holy shit his pubes are so attractive, you’re this attracted) before changbin screams “dude put it away, i’ve seen that shit multiple times and it’s still weird!”
seungmin’s balcony sliding door is always cracked for his cigarette smoke. fucking goldmine. he paces there while on the phone, shirtless, scratching his ass crack through basketball shorts. once he walked out just boxers to piss in a plant. why? but his dick was cute so anyways. flips himself off in the mirror sometimes.
jeongin sometimes brings girls home, quick, loud fucks against the wall you can hear through the thin glass, him moaning “yeah baby just like that” while the girl giggles. when he’s alone he jerks off in front of his computer with the volume up, pretty mouth always left open as his face twists. hot.
he parties hard, comes home at 4am stumbling, pisses in the sink(???) then crashes on the bed still wearing shoes. one morning you watch him wake up, scratch his balls for a solid minute, then immediately light a cig before even brushing his teeth.
eats cereal randomly just because he’s jn the mood to, milk dripping down his chin. cutie.
han acts like a teenage girl. lying on his stomach, legs swinging, on his phone. you don’t understand why doesn’t he have bitches. he’s attractive.
another night he jerks off in his room, quiet little gasps, whispering “fuck fuck fuck” under his breath because he’s trying not to wake minho.
minho, meanwhile, scratches his ass crack through his boxers while cooking, dick soft but outline visible. makes your mouth water. you also see him jerk off once in silence, back to window, hot, hand moving under the sheet, cums with just an exhale, rolls over and sleeps like nothing happened. you felt like hitting the jackpot there.
felix’s bedroom window at the fucking mansion is second floor but the tree’s perfect. he’s home most nights because “studying” means discord with the boys. scratching nipple absentmindedly while talking shit. jerks off on call with the boys once, cam off mic off, “hold up guys brb” then wet slapping sounds, heavy breathing, “fuck fuck fuck” cums with a hot manly groan, then unmutes, camera back, back to game “aight i’m good”.
or “bro i’d let her sit on my face till i pass out for reaaal.” his mom calls him down for dinner and he yells back “five minutes, ma!” then goes right back to describing in graphic detail how he’d fuck someone.
jerks off to hentai, by the way. loud moans from the anime girls on screen while he strokes himself on his bed, whispering “yes mommy” unironically at one point. you nearly fall out of the tree laughing.
showers with his bathroom door open sometimes, takes his slutty little showers hot, singing badly(could be good if he did some training tho, there’s a potential), towel around that babe waist when he walks back into the room, drops it to air dry, cock bouncing as he flops on bed to scroll. scratches balls while texting, leg up, full view. you’re in love.
you’re in love with how they are. how they live. how they do, what they do.
you know a lot and you’re in love with that lot. you know chan watches sport. you know minho stares at himself in the mirror after showering, tracing his scar, flexing his arms, proud of himself. you know changbin eats an entire family size bag of chips in bed, crumbs everywhere, falls asleep like that. you know hyunjin humps his pillow in his sleep. you know han always walks around the place just in boxers. you know felix kisses his mom on cheek after saying the nastiest shit online, then goes upstairs to smoke and jack off again. you know seungmin yells at everything, from football on the tv to dogs barking outside. you know jeongin has surprisingly good piss aim.
they’re so boys. so gross. so human. so hot.
you watch them scratch, curse, jerk, eat, sleep, piss, flex, throw up, moan, laugh, cry once (changbin after a bad day, curled up hugging pillow, sniffling like a kid). you watch them live like no one’s watching.
but you are.
always.
you see them be everything. changbin brings hyunjin coffee in bed one morning. chan helps an old lady with her groceries then comes home and immediately sniffs his armpits and makes a face. felix argues with his dad about college but then hugs him after. jeongin texts the group chat stupid shit at the middle of the fucking night and they all reply instantly even when half asleep. han blushes at his own horniness. things like these.
goooood you’re such a fucking creep.
sitting in your car at 2am with the seat leaned back, binoculars fogging up from how hard you’re breathing, heart doing this stupid shit it’s never done before.
you used to kill people and feel nothing in general. now it’s like… discovering fanfiction and vibrators at the same time. head over heels. stomach always full of butterflies. first crush of your entire empty life.
you didn’t even know feelings could do this.
growing up you were just… flat. eh. meh. other synonyms. kill, move on, kill again.
but these assholes made your feelings turn on. these useless dumb fucks. genuinely what do they provide to society.
you recognize yourself smiling during the day thinking about chan’s body. you think about hyunjin’s gentle voice while fingering yourself in the shower. minho’s nose. han’s teeth. jeongin’s face shape. changbin’s face fat. felix’s flat little boy ass. seungmin’s way of controlling his eyebrows. all so unbelievably hot.
you’re in love. actual disgusting love. with all eight of them. simultaneously. that’s actually eight times feeling more than you ever did.
you have never felt and you do it in eight ways now. it’s brain melting.
but you just love them so much.
to start with, felix’s happy trail is brutal.
that sooooft little line of dark hair disappearing under his waistband when he walks around his room shirtless maybe after a shower, still damp, oh your fucking GOD. you watched him scratch it absently one night while arguing with his discord friends, and you almost fell out the tree.
it’s not even that deep, just a normal boy happy trail, but on him it looks like an arrow pointing to heaven and you want to follow it with your tongue until he’s begging.
jeongin’s dimples. fuuuck. when he grins that sly, cheeky grin after telling one of the boys to suck his dick, those little dents just pop in his cheeks and you feel it straight in your clit. you always have to bite your fist not to moan out loud while watching him.
you want to kiss them, bite them, sit on his face while he smiles up at you with those stupid dimples.
chan’s shoulders. unreal. usually slightly sunburnt from whatever outdoor shit he does, flexing everytime he reaches for something on the top shelf or does push ups in his living room(why do men enjoy that? fucking asshole). you love how they fill out his shirts, how they look when he’s shirtless scratching his lower back, how they push his traps up when he rolls them. like daddy let me grip them while u fuck me slow, telling me i’m safe even though i’m the actual danger.
hyunjin’s hair and that mouth(that looks like it but didn’t get lip filler, at least you didn’t find any information of that). the way his hair falls into his eyes when he’s laughing at changbin, how he smiles when he’s being evil. you watched him brush his teeth once, foam at the corners, then spit and smile at himself in the mirror because he’s proud to be pretty. so cute. you want that mouth on every part of you.
changbin’s got this smile, this warm, boyish face shape that makes you feel okay even from fifty feet away through a window. his whole build is just friendly, good to be around. you love that softness. want to fuck it up just a little. but mostly just fuck it in general. you want to fuck this man. bad.
seungmin’s mouth, from the bratty shit he spits at people to the way it has this triangle shape sometimes. like okay world class bottom stfu but also like keep talking u cute. like a little puppy. most kissable mouth on earth. caressable face. boopable nose. suckable dick.
minho’s face shape. his nose. the way he moves his eyes, eyebrows. finding this man felt like winning the lottery, watching him slap on han’s back and laugh at whatever the other did. you want him to fuck you with those intense beautiful eyes locked, hand over your mouth so you don’t wake the roommate.
you’d scream anyway. not to be a brat, just because you’re too in love with these men to not feel that good. but it he wants you to be, you could be a brat too, of course.
han’s nervousness, his awkward energy. the whole setting of the guy. the way his pretty face goes red and he looks down at his feet, kicking the air around??? hot babe. you watched him try to hide a boner during movie night by crossing his legs awkwardly, blushing, and it was the cutest fucking thing ever. you want to make him blush harder while you’re on your knees.
you feel… never better. ever. about the way felix’s already deep voice cracks when he gets excited on discord. jeongin’s cigarette smoke curling around his jawline. chan’s happy trail too, you’re dripping wet just thinking about it. hyunjin’s long fingers when he plays with some kind of smoke. changbin’s pretty little handwriting on the grocery list stuck to the fridge. seungmin’s ass posture. minho’s veiny arms. han’s messy bedhead every morning.
at first it scared you, feelings? gross. attachment? even grosser. all of it ew, ew, ew!
you sat in your car after one particularly long stalking session, hands shaking, not understanding what the fuck was happening. you didn’t have a word for it until you googled shit, turns out it’s called a crush.
it’s so pink. it’s embarrassing. your notebook (yes you have a notebook now, you absolute creep) is full of little doodles, hearts around jeongin’s name, stars next to hyunjin’s, tiny knives next to seungmin(??? tf is your problem).
you’re in love with men. specifically these eight men. their smells (you’ve gotten close enough some nights to catch hints of deodorant and boy sweat), their laughs, their boners, their kindness, their evilness, their stupidity.
you love how they scratch their (big) asses, how they announce horniness, how they always beat each other up.
it feels like you’re floating on pure pink. fuck!! rainbows out your ass. little hearts above your head. genfuckinguinely. your brain is 80% vibrating dildos and 20% planning the most meticulous breaking and entering schedule known to man.
because that’s what you’re going to do.
night one, chan’s place when he’s sleeping over at hyunjin and changbin’s. easy entry through the bathroom window he always leaves cracked because “fresh air, bro.” the fucking second your shoes touch his floor you feel like fucking exploding.
better than any kill you’ve ever done.
you giggle. you have to slap a hand over your fuckass mouth.
you look through his laundry basket first, bury your face in a worn t shirt that smells like sweat and pure christopher chahn bahng. steal one of his gray sweatpants (what else, they’re overrated but for a good reason) and a pair of boxers.
you open his fridge, touch the beer cans, lick the rim of one. disgusting fucking freak. spin around in his living room, arms out, laughing because this is insane and you’re so happy it hurts. you’re so in love that you’re this disgustingly cringe. you’re such a girl.
you leave with a hoodie of his and the sweatpants & boxers.
night two, jeongin’s. fire escape is your best friend. you pick the lock on his balcony door with shaking hands that are shaking from excitement, not even accidentally fear. you have no reason to be afraid(you have all the reasons to). you’re never afraid bfr.
inside it smells like cig smoke, a good cologne, and boy. you steal his half empty pack of cigarettes, the lighter with the scratched on dick drawing, and a t shirt with some print on it that was on the floor and maybe cum stains on the inside.
you roll around on his unmade bed, face pressed into his pillow, inhaling deep while your thighs clench together. the rush is so strong you have to sit on the floor for a minute just breathing through it, laughing to yourself. you’re fucking unbearable.
you take a pair of his socks and a mug besides the lighter and the cigarettes and the shirt, all of it in the shirt which is tied together. when you climb back out you’re spinning on the fire escape.
night three, changbin and hyunjin’s loft. they’re both out at some group thing so the place is empty and waiting just for you. you go through their bathroom, steal hyunjin’s strawberry scented body wash (makes your pussy drip), one’s dirty sock from the laundry, and changbin’s toothbrush. men don’t miss shit like these.
from hyunjin’s room you take one of his hoodies and the vape he left charging. he’ll just bitch to bin about losing it. from changbin’s you pick his perfume up, dig a shirt out of the back of his closet, spray it on until it’s swimming in it, then open the window so he’s less likely to smell it when he comes back, take the shirt with you.
you sit on their couch for abt ten minutes just imagining them wrestling there, then jump and hop and squeal around for a while.
you leave with their shared grocery list stuck to the fridge as a souvenir.
day four, han’s and minho’s. han’s room is a mess of energy drinks and dirty clothes. you steal one random pokemon card he left on his table (he has hundreds) and a pair of his boxers that have little dinosaurs on them. cuuuuute. you want to make him cum through them one day.
minho’s room is… kind of tidy, just as much as a man can be tidy. you take one of his hoodies that smells clean, maybe out the laundry recently, plus the book he’s halfway through with his little underlines. he’ll buy another one, suspect han for making it disappear because who else. you heard minho talking about wanting cats once. han wasn’t against it. sounds nice. hm, you’d be down to pet a cat right now. maybe on the way home.
the fucking rush after locking the door behind you makes your knees weak. holy fucking fucked pegged shit. men.
five, seungmin’s hellhole. balcony door was unlocked. dumbass. inside it’s takeout boxes and laundry mountain. you steal one of his best looking hoodies, a half used bottle of his body wash that smells aggressively masculine, and the pillowcase from his bed. smells like scalp. men. good.
you sit on his couch and imagine him jerking off(standard girl in love activity, actually)(like stop reading and take a moment to imagine the man jack it), then stand up and do a little spin, giggling tf around while clutching the pillowcase to your face. you feel like you could run a marathon and finger yourself at the same time.
day six, felix’s parents’ mansion. hardest one, had to wait until his parents were out and he was at a class.
you climb the tree, pop the window lock, climb into his room that smells like fucking heaven because of those flavored car batteries he sucks on plus the expensive ass cologne he sprayed on before leaving. you steal one of his college hoodies and the hentai body pillow he hides under his bed (you almost scream laugh when you find it).
you roll around on his bed for a solid five minutes, face buried in his pillow, legs kicking in the air, rubbing on your clit for a bit but not enough to cum, you heard something outside and even though you kinda knew it wasn’t a human, better not to risk it and lose one of the loves of your life. when you climb back down the tree you’re giggling so hard you nearly miss a branch.
in the car you’re screaming, fucking deadass crying punching the steering wheel because you’re so fucking happy.
seven, back to changbin and hyunjin again? no, you already did them. you saved the second round for overlaps but actually you hit chan again? nooo. you planned it, after the first pass you come back smarter, but this time you’re just riding the high. for the love of the game fr. actually you do a quick second hit on jeongin because his place called to you, steal another cig pack and one of his used condoms from the trash. giggle the whole way home.
there we go.
you sit in your apartment surrounded by the shit you got, your treasures quite fucking literally, hoodies on your bed, stolen socks, the lighter, the toothbrush, the dino boxers, the body washes, the cum stained t shirt, the body pillow, the grocery list, everything.
you’re horrible. spinning in circles in the middle of your living room with your arms out, one of the socks on your hand. fuck u so jolly about.
you haven’t laughed like this in your entire fucking life.
you love these stupid beautiful assholes.
you pull chan’s sweatpants over your face and inhale, then grab jeongin’s lighter and flick it on just to watch the flame while you cackle. you have never done dumb shit like this ever.
but it’s pink. rainbows. hearts. vibrators on max. girl.
you’re dizzy and horny and happier than any serial killer has any right to be because you’re a horrible person.
the feeling is…
everything.
you’re in love.
your apartment looks… fucking pathetic, to be honest with you. you really do need some fucking help. random men’s hoodies around the place, the socks, jeongin’s cig packs sitting on your nightstand next to the lighter with the dick, felix’s body pillow propped up on the couch (you say hi to her every morning), hyunjin’s body wash in your shower so you can smell like him while you fuck yourself. yeah we’re not talking about how many of those things have lived inside you by now. we’re definitely not talking about the nights you rode chan’s pants or used changbin’s toothbrush handle when you were too lazy to grab a toy.
anyways.
you truly, deeply, absolutely, surely love them.
it’s not just lust anymore. it’s pink. sweet. you love the men shit. the cute shit. the everything shit.
you love watching them touch each other. when they’re being boyish and friendly and rough. that’s so sweet when men do that. hyunjin pulling dirty laundry over changbin’s head then wrestling. chan clapping seungmin on the back so hard that you’d die if you were seungmin, then pulling him into a quick bro hug. jeongin throwing an arm around han’s shoulders while they’re walking to the car, ruffling his hair until han laughs and shoves him off. minho being pressed up to han’s side when sitting somewhere. felix passing a vape or a cig or whatever shit they ruin themselves with to hyunjin and their fingers brushing.
you see these and feel like you’re the one being touched. like their hands on each other are on you too.
you love how they move. how loud they are. how they look at each other across tables when they’re in public.
such friends. ones you never had. such boys. that never interested you until now.
you love when they’re on the game(average man activity). you’ve got a spot outside han and minho’s place where you can hear the yelling through the cracked window. han screaming while his legs kick in the air. minho grunting. once you zoned out and imagined those were the sounds of them fucking. unfortunately, wasn’t.
or at jeongin’s, where you can hear him saying disgusting shit. calling the others virgins and cucks and things he can’t say. or seungmin, either hyping minho up or telling felix to kill himself. felix doing a hundred things beside the game and still managing to play good. hyunjin’s tongue poking out when he focuses too hard. changbin dying, slamming a few things, then going over to hyunjin’s room to watch him play. chan is mostly quiet, he needs his mouth shut to pay attention to playing, can’t multitask like that. you learned that too.
you sit somewhere in the dark where you can see one of them from with your hand between your legs and feel fucking proud of them.
you love when they visit their parents. their parents are really different, each’s. you caught han nervously fixing his hair before heading to his parents’ place, then coming back and announcing to minho “dude my mom still thinks i’m a virgin lmao.”
they’re adorable.
seungmin’s visits are shorter, you hear him arguing with his dad through an open window but he still hugs him goodbye. jeongin gets to family barbecues drunk, always smiling, flirts with his own aunt by accident.
the others’ visits aren’t that interesting. felix lives with his parents, we know that. hyunjin’s parents are chill, kind of boring. changbin sometimes takes hyunjin with him. minho brings shit(though his cats aren’t the only thing purring when you see him play with them there) chan’s parents live in another country, you only can listen to the phone calls.
you follow them to the grocery store and watch what they buy. you sit outside the gym when they go lift together, peeking through the window as they spot each other, grunting, sweating, clapping hands. fucking pussy dripping. you follow them to the movies and watch jeongin throw popcorn at han’s head while hyunjin rests his head on minho’s shoulder.
you’re so in love it’s pathetic.
and like… you used to be empty. now you’re overflowing with emotions. just how you wish chan would flood you ;)
and now there’s this new feeling creeping in. one not so pink.
it’s… best way to explain it would be ice through your chest. a cringe thing to say but it’s the realest, maybe.
because they don’t know you.
they met you once in the woods, even only half of them met you there. they have no idea where you are now.
they don’t know your name. they don’t know you killed a guy at seventeen first and kept going because ending lives is the only thing that makes you feel(besides their cute asses now, or course). they don’t know you’ve broken into every single one of their homes and touched everything they own.
they think you’re just some random girl who already went away
it hurts. you want them to know you.
everytime one of your boys so much as looks at a girl, you have to kill. jealousy. the sudden urge to dig another hole in the woods. you tell yourself it’s because they’re your men, your boys. you watched them first. you have their hoodies and their shirts and their fucking toothbrushes. those girls are just temporary. shit that needs to be silenced.
and good thing you’re a serial killer, right?
good thing for you.
bad fucking news for any bitch who’s not you.
jeongin is the worst offender. he brings girls home like a revolving door fr. you watch from a fire escape while he grinds against some random club girl against the wall, she moans his name, his flawless dimples are out as he smiles. the dimples that are supposed to make an appearance for you. you see his hands on her waist, see him laughing into her neck, see him fuck her fast and her face not facing him because it doesn’t mean anything. afterward he offers her a smoke, and you have to throw up.
you hate her.
you hate the way she touches him. you hate her voice, her hair, her body, her face, her everything.
so you follow her.
easy. she’s drunk, stumbling out of jeongin’s building at night with a post fuck glow that makes you want to carve it off her. you follow her, remember where she lives. two nights later you sneak in and hit her once with the shovel, right to the temple. the bag you brought is big enough. you zip her up still warm, drag her out the same way you dragged your last body, load her into the trunk while humming some song changbin was singing while cooking last week. woods again. deeper this time. hole bigger than usual because you want to insult her a little.
you go back to jeongin’s place the next night, he’s on the phone with the boys, laughing about how the girl from last weekend “ghosted him” and how he’s already eyeing someone new at the club.
you’ll end her too. it’s always going to be the same end, that he’s safe again. he’s yours again.
you catch felix flirting with a girl at the mall once. she giggles, touches his arm. you follow her home too. another bag. another trip to the woods. you bury her shallow because you’re in a hurry to get back and watch felix game with the boys, listening to him complain that “girls never text back”
you would. immediately.
hyunjin and changbin bring a couple girls to a group hangout once. nothing serious, just friends of friends, but you watch as one of them sits close to hyunjin, laughing at his jokes, whatnot. you would do the same, he’s beautiful. three days later she disappears after a yoga class. they never find the body. hyunjin is unbothered.
seungmin hooks up with some girl who calls him “daddy” and he laughs at it. oh? fuck you “oh”ing about, you hate it. you follow her to her car after she leaves his place, bash her skull, stuff her in the trunk of her own car, drive it out to the woods yourself.
chan doesn’t bring many girls home usually, though one night you watch a tall brunette leave his apartment at sunrise, she makes it two more days before you catch her jogging and choke her.
han doesn’t get bitches. girls talk to minho but he never goes anywhere with them.
han could pull you. already did, if we think about it. and you’d take minho out.
you love them.
you really, really love them.
and love means keeping them safe from anyone who tries to take even a second of their attention.
that’s only natural.
so everytime another girl smiles at one of your boys, everytime she touches what’s yours, everytime she exists too close, you pick up the shovel.
what you also began to pick up on is where do the boys usually hang out. you know each’s full schedules now.
you’re following them on the street now, after one of their little bro nights. men are so cute. hood up, one of jeongin’s stolen cigs between your lips even though you don’t smoke, just like the imagine of the taste of his mouth on it.
the eight of them are loud as usual, taking up the whole sidewalk, fucking asshole men and not noticing themselves. assholes. hyunjin and changbin are bumping into each other on purpose, han’s in the middle fidgeting with his phone, felix and chan smoking something together, passing it back n forth, jeongin walking backwards trying to talk to minho who just gives him a middle finger.
then. some other guy group rounds a corner. about seven guys, typical dumbasses, they’re quieter. one of them clips chan hard, shoulder to shoulder.
“excuse me bro.” the guy mutters.
“excused.” chan says. clear, wanting to sound like an asshole.
the dude turns around like chan just called his mom a whore, grabs chan by the hoodie, yanks him back hard enough to make his feet skid. hits him. chan ducks though, punch goes past his ear. wow. hot. and also pretty fucking concerning, watch out sweetie.
han’s dumb little ass tries to step in with a confused little “yo what the fu—” and catches an elbow straight to the cheek from one of the other guys. he stumbles, hand flying to his face. it’s adorable. “dude i didn’t do anything! what the fuuuck!”
oh but no worries, seungmin immediately swings on the guy that hit han. but then we also have to keep in mind that seungmin is not that strong at all, so changbin can’t help but help him out with another hit.
jeongin drops his cig, smiles, glee as he swings on the biggest one. dumbest fuck on the planet. oooh by then hyunjin is dodging. makes his hair bounce, pretty. can’t land any hit tho, doesn’t even try to. and minho is just too manly to not do at least a little good.
little.
felix is… trying to turn away. pussy. gets yanked tf back.
okay. wow. you follow it as it moves into a little side street, alley almost. bodies slamming into dumpsters, trash bags splitting open, someone’s shoe flying.
fucking men. only they’re this animalistic to do this. dumb.
god they look hot fighting tho.
you’re dripping wet. chan’s shirt rides up everytime he throws a punch, the way that man’s muscles move. jeongin’s laughing with a split lip. he’s gorgeous. hyunjin moves like a dancer, quite fucking literally(with evil in his heart, men are evil). changbin’s protecting han, throwing himself between. fucking respect. seungmin hits just for fun. minho actually manages. han is whining “guys i’m fine, ow fuck—” blood comes from his nose. felix… is having the worst night of his life. it’s so fucking hilarious you have to bite your fist.
they’re not winning tho.
seungmin takes a solid hit to the jaw that snaps his head back. jeongin’s on the ground for a second before rolling away. hyunjin’s perfect lip is bleeding. changbin’s shielding han but catching kicks. chan’s breathing hard. felix keeps getting yanked back. minho is the last one standing tall but even he’s slowing.
you want to, but you don’t interfere. this is their fight. their stupid boy moment. their chance to be loud and dumb and protective of each other. you want to see them like this, bleeding, these looks aren’t crossed off your list yet. you want to watch. the punches, grunts, when one of them checks on another midfight (“you good han?” “fuck off i’m fine”).
“you’re getting your ass kicked!” that’s jeongin, then gets yanked backwards. “okay, i’m getting my ass kicked—”
felix is on the ground, back against the wall, arms up trying to shield his head. rich kid. the guy on him brings a fist back, real heavy, about to turn felix’s skull into red paste on the bricks.
your body moves, your brain doesn’t even know about it. that’s for not interfering. belt. gun. into your palm.
bang.
one shot. right through the side of the guy’s head.
dude drops instantly.
felix lets out the most pathetic, girly yelp you’ve ever heard. “FUCK—holy shit what the fuck—” he scrambles backward on the wall on his ass, legs kicking, so scared, staring at the body and then up at you.
suddenly the guys don’t want trouble. “yo what the fuck—” “we’re good, we’re good—” “cops, man, fuck this—” they go real quick. tripping over each other.
the alley goes dead quiet. well, if we don’t count the heavy breathing and the drip of blood, maybe.
your boys are standing there bleeding, bruised, staring.
you’re shaking.
your lips are trembling. the gun is trembling in your hand. your knees feel like they might give out any second. dizzy.
hyunjin… smiles. chuckles. stumbles over, blood on his split lip, eyes big. “hey… hey it’s you.” he reaches up slowly, brushes the hair out of your face with shaking fingers, then tilting your head so he can see you better. “hi. hi. talk to me. hey, look at me. you okay? talk to me, please.” he can see you’re not okay.
his other hand comes up to hold your gun wrist, his big, warm palm wrapping around yours to keep the trembling gun in it’s place. he would never take that gun from you.
chan wipes blood from his mouth with the back of his hand, the pieces click in his perfect, genuinely perfect head. steps closer, keeps a respectful distance, more cautious though. you just shot someone. “alright. oh, uh, this is the girl hyune ran into that night in the woods. remember? whatever.” he glances at the body, then back at you. “you good?”
your lips are shaking, trying to open your mouth to answer. acting a bit too good.
changbin’s cute little mouth takes an o shape as he realizes. seungmin spits blood on the ground, proccesses. that’s for the guys who “met” you already.
jeongin? chest heaving, watching. minho? same. han? don’t be stupid, barely standing straight. felix, still on the ground, ass in a puddle, staring at the dead guy next to him. “what the fuuuuuuuck.”
jeongin finally finds his voice. “headshot.” yeah staying quiet would have been nice too, babe.
hyunjin holds your face. “hey, ignore them for a second. look at me. just talk to me, okay? tell me what’s going on in that pretty head. you’re trembling so bad, got you. it’s okay.”
your lips won’t stop shaking. all eight of them are looking at you.
good girl, y/n.
gooooood fucking girl.
that’s how you get something you want.
“i didn’t… i didn’t hurt any of you, did i?” you mumble out. c’mon, you could have easily answered to hyunjin, didn’t on purpose.
they all shake their heads.
“we’re good. you just… saved felix’s stupid head.” hyunjin says. “what’s your name? tell me your name.”
“y/n…”
chan steps closer, shrugging off his jacket. he trusts you more now, obviously. it’s warm from his body, has the smell you’ve jerked off to more times than you can count. he drapes it over your shoulders, big hands adjusting the collar. “here. keep it. looks better on you anyway.”
he means that to make you smile. it does, just not with the lips on your face.
han(sweet, grateful, still bleeding from the nose) comes up to you too and and wraps his arms around you in a biiiiig hug. crushes you, kinda. he obviously doesn’t hug(or touch) girls often. but like. oh?
you lean into him, let him hold you, fucking MILKING it, forehead pressing into his shoulder. he smells good.
“thank you. thank you so much. seriously.” he says. “i thought my face was about to get rearranged. thank you.”
the face hyunjin makes because he just got pushed away from you.
felix is standing up just now, brushing dirt off his ass, legs wobbly. it’s okay, baby.
you’re shaking harder now, but from them. this close. han’s arms around you. his body on yours. chan’s jacket on you. that you’re the center of their attention.
they have no idea you’re a major creep who’s been stalking their every move for weeks.
they have no idea the shaking is because you’re standing in the middle of your eight crushes and your pussy is throbbing so hard you’re scared they’ll smell it.
to them you’re just y/n. the woods girl. their savior.
“my—my name’s hyunjin. by the way. i’ve been thinking about you since the woods.” okay mr loverboy. attached asf. “lean on han if you need to. thank you.”
han keeps one arm around your waist, hand pressing into you so he’s really holding you, keeping you up against his side, bouncing you lightly. “got heeeer.” now you get why they call him by his surname.
changbin nods. “yeah, seriously. han’s got you. i, uh, i’ll grab water from the car. felix, stop pacing, you’re making her dizzy.”
felix mutters “sorry” but keeps doing little anxious circles anyway.
“shut the fuck up, bin.” chan says. mean daddy. “she’s probably in shock. y/n, you want us to walk you somewhere? call someone? or… shit, you wanna come back to one of our places and sit down for a minute?”
they really do want you to know they’re grateful.
only if they knew.
han squeezes you tighter, better, turns his head to look at your face, his cheeks are pink. both at the closeness of a girl, something he doesn’t usually get, bitchless little asshole, and at the fact that all this just happened to him. you want to bite them.
you’re dizzy. lips trembling. they can see that. all of them can. all are looking.
finally looking at you.
finally touching you.
finally grateful.
jeongin takes a big breath, fishes a cig out of his pocket. offers it to you with shaky fingers. “want one? helps with the nerves sometimes. or… nah? cool, cool.” he lights it for himself instead.
they’re all over you. making sure you’re okay. making sure you know they’re grateful as fuck.
you’re dizzy. crazy.
“uh, okay, shit, alright.” chan says, looking around. “we’re not leaving a fucking corpse in the middle of downtown. bin, seungmin, lix, do something about it.”
seungmin throws his skinny arms up. “the fuck? why me? fuck off.”
changbin throws his hands up too. he’s adorable. “broooo! what if i puke? what if i cry? i’m sensitive! i was just about to bring her water!”
felix keeps shaking his head. “no no no, i have to go home! my mom’s gonna kill me! i’m literally the weakest link here, you saw me get handled like a bitch the whole fight!” poor boy he was so scared that he couldn’t talk until now, couldn’t talk to you, to any of them out of shock, and now his words have to be defending himself :(
“okay, jeongin then.”
jeongin’s hands fly up, burning cig in one. “dudeee! what the fuck, man?! i throw up when i see ketchup packets open wrong! i’m delicate!”
chan rolls his eyes. sassy. “do it.”
seungmin grumbles the entire time, calling everyone “pussies” and “useless cumrags” while he starts searching for helpful shit with aggression. changbin is whimpering “i’m gonna throw up, i’m gonna throw up” as he holds the legs. felix keeps trying to “guys my parents love me, they’ll notice if i come home smelling like death, please—” himself out of it until hyunjin turns and tells him he’ll tell felix’s dad what happened. felix shuts up and grabs an arm, muttering “this is bullshit.”
changbin mutters “i’m telling my mom you made me do this.”
“go.”
“what if i just supervise?” felix.
“dude, just… do it.” jeongin mutters, given up.
chan sighs. “we’ll walk y/n home. text the gc when it’s done and don’t fuck it up.” turns to you, voice changes to angelic. “c’mon, y/n.”
the four of them look crushed because wdym chan did this to them, made them do this then left with the bad bitch. (oh chan would’ve taken you only with him but he knows he couldn’t make hyunjin, han and minho also stay away.)
but the other four are already walking you out. around you. manly. about you.
han hasn’t let go of your waist(through chan’s jacket) the whole time, just so that you’ll stay upright. he’s worried. you seemed so unstable before, he has to hold you, right? he doesn’t want you to fall over, get hurt.
you’re leaning into him, eyes basically bout to close from bliss.
chan looks cute, just walking, hands in pockets, looking down then up. “you, uh, always carry that gun around? haha.”
“yeah… i just… got it after some bad shit happened. never thought i’d actually use it.” lie. smooth as butter. “i don’t like hurting people but… he was gonna smash your friend’s head in. i just reacted.” you almost said felix’s head. almost slipped. didn’t. gonna reward yourself later with a sweet treat or fucking yourself with changbin’s toothbrush again.
hyunjin is walking backwards so he can keep looking at you. he shoves his phone into your hands, screen on to add contact. “put your number in, hm? don’t want you to disappear again.”
oh. okay. wow. what a romantic. you don’t even know what to answer.
you take it, type yourself in with trembling fingers. he grins(that beautiful hyunjin grin) when you hand it back, immediately texting you a little heart emoji so you have his number too. hello??
han bounces you again. “here, wait.” he fishes his out and holds it under your nose. “i wanna be able to check on you.“
WOW. you add your number. he saves it as y/n.
then, oh, a phone is poked under your arm from behind. you glance back and minho gives you a tiny tiny smile, eyes adorable. aww. you add your number too. he takes the phone back without a word, right corner of his mouth twitches up. bitch kinda autistic but bad asf.
chan opens his mouth, doesn’t have the balls to ask for your number too. will ask for it from the others. “oh, uh, that’s minho. anyway, you saved felix back there. changbin, buff one, is also there. longer one’s seungmin,” longer one, pfft. “and jeongin. you already know hyunjin. uh, han.” han turns his face into yours to smile at you. “i’m chan. or chris. whatever.”
“you guys seem… really close. it was kinda nice seeing you all stick up for each other.” you’re doing amazing, y/n.
hyunjin runs his fingers up your arm once. he knows women like that. he knows how to use himself. “and then you saved us. my hero.” cringe. romantic. makes your knees weak.
“yeah, thanks.” minho mutters.
you can’t believe this is happening.
these are the boys you’ve been stalking for weeks. the ones whose hoodies you sleep in, the ones you’ve watched jerk off, scratch their asses, visit their moms. and now they’re all over you, talking bout some you’re their hero. ha.
“i’m glad none of you got hurt too bad. i just… reacted.” you manage.
hyunjin tilts his head charmingly as he sighs. acting, just like you are, except he really does feel overwhelming love, just using tricks he learned over the years. “you reacted perfectly. now you’ve got our numbers. use them. text me, okay? i’ll worry otherwise.”
han squeezes your waist. “same. and if you need anything, y’know, ride, food, someone to talk to, just say the word.“
you can’t believe this is real.
like this is actually fucking happening?? you’re fucking shaking, trembling not to turn and jump into minho’s arms or whatever.
when you finally reach your building han gives you one last gentle bounce and a tight hug. he’s physical. “text us when you’re inside, okay? don’t disappear.”
hyunjin leans in, presses a soft kiss to your forehead. doing a bit too much for just meeting you. on purpose. “goodnight, y/n. thank you, again.”
only one that knows about your little ex story. well, that’s fake, but still, only one. and still he be doing toooo much but you’re too in love to process it as anything but charming.
chan claps your shoulder lightly. “get some rest.”
minho nods, mouth pulled into a tiny line. he’s adorable. little meow meow. “goodnight.”
you wave with shaky hands, and mind you, they’re waiting for you to go in. real men asf not leaving until you’re safe for sure. han is smiling, wide, boy, hyunjin is waving, tilting his head, angelic, chan and minho are chatting.
apartment door shuts. okay. you have to get up to your floor. shit. your legs are shaking.
you manage.
the second your door shuts behind you, you slide down to the floor, breathing hard, having to squeak. cry. smile. laugh. scream. slam yourself into something.
it’s an unbearable feeling. it actually feels bad, no matter how good you feel, it’s so much that it’s torture.
phone pings.
hyunjin: heyy it’s hyunjin, you home safe?
han: did u make it?? u were so shaky lol
han: im hwn
han: han
han: soery
han: you can also call me jisung if u want :)
chan: this is chan. u kay?
minho doesn’t text. pussy. stares at chan’s phone over chan’s shoulder tho. and of course, you don’t have their names pre saved, we’re just signaling that you know who’s texting. save them later as their names though.
this is actually happening.
all eight end up having your number eventually.
you’re not used to this. you’re used to watching them from shadows, not having them reach out.
you’re actually wanted. each notif of your phone is a tiny electric shock straight to your clit and your stupid heart.
and god they be texting JUST to text.
chan: my jacket looks better on u than it ever did on me lol hahaha u keeping it?
or shit like
chan: heyyy u eat yet today? i’m grabbing food rn u want anything i can drop off
chan: that was wild what u did. still thinking about it. thx. u good tho? fr
they’re angels.
minho: hi it’s minho
minho: u ok?
minho: thanks for stepping in
minho: text me if u need anything. seriously.
changbin: hey it’s changbin!!🥰 thanks again for saving lix seriously!!
changbin: u looked cute in channie’s jacket btw. u keeping it? u can have mine too if u want
boi NOT subtle but atleast cute with his little emojis.
changbin: we were talking about u earlier.
changbin: all good things promise
changbin: 😊
he’s a BABE. you would usually fucking block a man for using emojis but you know him (even if he doesn’t know that) and he’s so sincere that it turns you on.
hyunjin: heyy
hyunjin: i was thinkinh about u today
hyunjin: u sleep okay after everything?
hyunjin: miss seeing ur face alrdy. when u free?
han: y/n u awake?? u were so cool but also u were so shaky i’m worried lol
han: osrye
han: *sorry
han: sorry lol
felix: heyyy i’m felix u shot the guy on me
felix: i didn’t thank you then
felix: but seriously tysm i owe u my life fr
felix: how are u?
he just wants to talk.
seungmin: hey
seungmin: i was w the boys i’m seungmin
he was biting his nails shaking while he wrote that.
seungmin: u need anything let me know
the only reason the messages aren’t full of typos because he reread them a hundred times before sending because he wanted to look good. with the boys he’s all typos and doesn’t care.
jeongin: heyyyeyey i’m innie from the alley
jeongin: u free this weekend?
STRAIGHT to the point.
every single text makes your hands shake so bad you have to set the phone down and breathe. you’re shocked every time. actually shocked. they’re texting you. voluntarily. with dumb excuses. because they want to talk to you.
you have to sit down when hyunjin texts “thinking about you” or when chan offers to pick you up for coffee “no pressure but i wanna see that pretty face again.” you press their hoodies to your face and squeak into the fabric because this can’t be real.
you don’t know this yet, but they feel the same for you. well, not as hard, but they also have crushes on you.
charmed out of their boy minds. they talk about you constantly when they’re together. you’re always the topic. they’re just boys with crushes because you were badass.
little example, one night at chan’s place they’re all around when jeongin goes “bros i’m not even joking i played with myself aaaall night long thinking about y/n and that gun. came twice.“ oh they’re COMFORTABLE.
han and felix immediately start hugging each other on the floor, giggling and squealing. GROWN ASS MEN.
seungmin throws his head back, raking his nails down his face. “step on me dude.”
changbin leans forward. “she smelled so nice too.”
han falls forward. “SO NICE.”
they keep doing this. they want you around. they want to check on you, feed you, make you enjoy them, fuck you, hold your hand, make you their girl.
they’re charmed. that’s the best word. you charmed them.
take han, his little pathetic ass giggles and bites his fingers whenever he sends you a selfie. others the same but some of them used to be confident with girls. what happened??
you can’t believe they’re this into you. this is real. they like you back. all eight of them. you used to chase them and now they’re chasing you.
but the thing is, they’re so biased, so… dumb, so simple, that they simply don’t mind when you do end up doing something creepy. like oh, the gun was just a one time thing. they totally gotta be gentle with you, according to their logic. like hey u a little scary but that’s cute they want to pet you.
you do sick shit right in front of their faces and it doesn’t register to them. once you were meeting hyunjin and changbin for coffee (their idea) some loud ass guy at the next table was an ass then started loudly hitting on girls when changbin went to take a piss(bc the guy obviously didn’t have the balls to do it while changbin was there, and hyunjin didn’t seem threatening enough to him). you stood up, grabbed the guy’s scalding hot coffee, and poured it straight down the front of his pants.
poor changbin just came back and his pretty mouth fell open.
hyunjin pulled you back. “y/n that was mean… but like he did deserve it.”
they didn’t mind.
another time you headbutted some random guy so hard his nose exploded, then kneed him in the balls twice for good measure. he was provoking you, whatever.
chan looked at you with those dumb man eyes. “you okay? your forehead good?”
han was bouncing on his toes.
another time some weird, sketchy, most likely on drugs guy tried to talk to felix. you ripped the guy’s own knife out of his waistband, stabbed it through his hand pinning it to a wooden fence.
felix yelped (of course). seungmin actually clapped. smiled ear to ear.
you were at chan’s place for a movie night when han accidentally spilled soda on felix’s lap. felix joked “y/n would’ve shot me for that.” you deadass pulled the gun out of your bag, pointed it at felix’s forehead.
dead silence for half a second.
then they started squealing at how cute you are.
they’re this dumb.
anyways, the nine of you hang out now. they don’t notice shit. they definitely don’t notice that everytime you go over to their places you’re stealing more shit for yourself.
you “fall asleep” on chan’s couch during a movie so you can stay the night. while he’s sleeping you go through his drawers, steal a pair of his boxers, and take a photo of his search history on his laptop (“how to tell if a girl likes you”). you also lick the rim of the beer bottle he left on the nightstand. he wakes up, sees you curled up next to him, chuckles to himself(take a moment to imagine it, that’s dada) drool practically dripping about you, and goes back to sleep. the man ever.
you help hyunjin and changbin “clean” and end up alone in hyunjin’s room for ten minutes, you steal his hair from his hairbrush (you put it in a little ziplock you fucking psycho), sniff his pillow so hard you almost pass out, and another pair of socks. couldn’t find used ones. when changbin walks in you’re just sitting on the bed looking innocent. he’s mesmerized.
han lets you play his video games in his chair. that’s so cute. he goes to pee and you take photos of his search history too. (“how to ask a girl to sit on your face without sounding weird”) then you end up sitting in his lap in the chair. he bounces you, innocently. though there is a tension there, it’s mostly cute. (you’re slipping his used tissue out of his pocket and into yours)
then while minho is in the shower you go through his laundry and steal multiple things. you two talk after it like nothing happened, you’re just too good.
jeongin’s phone has face id. you had to pay extra attention to his code. got it tho. while he’s passed out drunk you go through it take a photo of every nude he’s ever sent.
but oh you know how to use men’s lust. so he wakes up hungover and sees you wearing his shirt, that was on purpose too. “you look good in my clothes, babe. keep it.” he has no idea you spent twenty minutes sniffing the inside of his dirty laundry basket and rubbed one out during.
same shit with the others. you’re unbelievably good at distraction. they’re all so charmed they don’t see that you’re fucking sick in the head. they don’t see this, they don’t see that, and they especially don’t see you licking blood off your fingers when one of them gets a papercut.
to them you’re just the protective little y/n who sometimes does crazy shit but it’s “so cute when she gets like that.”
dumb fucks.
you’re a major creep, a certified weirdo, and a full blown psychopath, robbing them blind, but they’re too busy being hypnotized, charmed, to notice any of it.
they’re developing brutal crushes on you. not just horny crushes (though there’s plenty of that), they genuinely like you. they think you’re sweet, pretty, funny in your own way, and the fact that you’re creepy… they be turned ON.
one of your favs is how felix acts. his parents love you so they leave you two alone sometimes in the house, those times you usually sit in felix’s lap while he’s at his desk, headset on, playing.
you love feeling him get harder and harder, knowing he’s trying to focus on the game. he whimpers into the mic once and mutes himself so fast.
after the round he always pulls his headset off, face flushed, not knowing what to do. you always tell him he did good. once he actually had to go out for a smoke just because you got him feeling that much.
you also discovered that minho really likes your hand on his thigh. like daddy gets turned on. you keep using that. he’s dying to bend you over.
and oh, was this even a doubt, you keep killing for them.
whenever some stupid bitch or asshole gets too close. last week a girl at the bar kept buying jeongin shots and touching his arm. like you can’t blame her, he’s the dream man, but you still followed her to the bathroom, smashed her head into the sink until she stopped moving, then left her there.
you killed a girl who kept flirting with hyunjin and changbin. another who sent felix nudes on discord. a cashier that rung seungmin up with a flirty smile. another one that han accidentally looked at on the street. (tf, too much y/n, too much.) you’ll keep killing anyone who tries to take even a second of them away from you.
but deep down you’re all such pussies. all nine of you. they like you. a lot. but tell you? never. pussies. can’t grow the balls. and you’re the biggest pussy of all, you’re crazy in love, but you couldn’t tell them if your life depended on it.
you’re at han’s and minho’s place on a random night. han is in the bathroom shaving, door open because we know they’re comfy with you. he’s standing there in just sweatpants, chest a little little hairy but the point is that there’s no shirt, dragging the razor over his jaw. cutie.
“you’re gonna cut yourself if you keep making that face.” you mumble.
han smiles at you in the mirror, breathtakingly beautiful, foam on his upper lip. “then you gotta kiss it better, y/n.”
and this is what we just talked about, he gets shy. he wants to say more, you can see it, but he chickens out and goes back to shaving.
you end up being all over minho at the end of that day. just sitting with him. on him. whatever. he wants to tell you he likes having you here. he doesn’t. pussy.
another night you’re at felix’s house, on your stomach on his bed. his mom made cookies and felix brought the whole plate up for you. you’re eating them while felix plays on his expensive ass setup across the room. he keeps glancing over. it’s cute. you two are a great match. this CRAZY bitch and her loser little boyfriend.
“these are really good.” you tell him. “tell your mom thank you.”
“she likes you. keeps asking when you’re coming over again.” he wants to say i like you too, instead he just scratches the back of his neck and says “stay as long as you want, okay?” he’s beautiful.
you hang out at jeongin’s and he makes you sit on his lap while he rolls a cig. he wants to tell you he’s catching feelings, that it’s not just his dick talking. he chickens out and offers you the cig instead. you always decline. he likes that. strokes your hair like chan does sometimes when you fall asleep with them.
but oh, they’re not stupid. well… they are, but not completely. allat shit they didn’t notice had to catch up sooner or later. you carried that gun like it was a purse. you never seemed scared.
at first they brushed it off. but one night at chan’s place, after you left, the eight of them got into this thing we humans feel sometimes, this you can tell anything rn to your friends, so they kinda go with the feeling while passing around a blunt.
jeongin took a hit, exhaled slowly. “…yo. be real with me. y’all ever think y/n might’ve actually killed people before?”
silence.
then han let out a nervous laugh. “dude. what the fuck. why would you say that?”
“because that guy in the alley, she… didn’t react. looks like she does that shit on the regular. i mean it was hot or whatever but still.”
felix shifted uncomfortably. “i mean… she saved my life. i’m not complaining. but yeah. i’m not saying she’s out here murdering people but… yeah.”
changbin nodded. hummed. adorable little noise.
chan leaned back, rubbing his jaw. “look, if she really is… you know… doing shit… she’s doing it for us.”
hyunjin kept his mouth shut about the little ex story of yours he still thinks is true.
seungmin sighed. stopped the breath. sighed again. “i don’t know man… she scares me sometimes. but not in a bad way. it’s fucked up. like… hot.”
minho and changbin hummed. han looked around, kinda creeped.
they all looked at each other, a little freaked, a little hard, a lot confused.
jeongin looked… really boyish, inexperienced, suddenly. “but… she’s y/n. if she’s killed people… i don’t think i care.”
it’s… nasty. like that’s the best word, nasty, or sad, kinda. they kinda get off on the danger, knowing you might be a murderer makes you powerful in their eyes, it makes them feel chosen. protected. dominated. like they’re the center of your violent little universe.
it feeds their egos. hard. it turns them on because it’s taboo, because it’s fucked up, because deep down some of them have that same fuckedupness(so not a real word) they’ve never admitted out loud. they’re all a little sick in the head, after all, just not as much as you are. like they’re playing with fire and the fire wants to fuck them.
they don’t mind.
which brings us to that night on the dark street next to the forest. it’s just you, seungmin and hyunjin. you three were walking back from grabbing food when some random drunk asshole stumbles out of the trees, clearly fucked up, and starts running his mouth.
you clearly didn’t like that. your demeanor changed so fast. there we go, here it was again. it usually happens like this, when your real personality and the act switch. it happens fast, really… noticeable.
that’s how he got his face slammed into the nearest tree trunk with brutal force by you. once. twice. blood sprayed. guy screamed. you kneed him in the stomach, then when he doubled over you stomped on the back of his knee so hard something snapped.
seungmin and hyunjin froze.
the guy was on the ground groaning, bloody, pathetic when you stopped. it was okay. everything was okay now, right?
hyunjin’s voice (barely)came out quiet. “…y/n.” he swallowed hard. his heart was pounding. part of him was terrified. the bigger part was so turned on he felt dizzy. he wanted to see it. needed to see it. “just kill him. do it.”
seungmin’s eyes widened. he looked freaked, at hyunjin because dude what the fuck, then back at you, mouth opening but nothing came out. the way you looked right now… turned him on. he felt sick. he felt alive. in danger. he felt like he was watching porn.
you pulled the gun out, clicked something on it, pressed it to the back of the guy’s head, and pulled the trigger.
bang.
the body slumped.
silence.
hyunjin and seungmin stood there with their hands over their mouths, eyes wide. scared, terrified. traumatized, definitely.
you turned to look at them, gun now looser in your hand, face slowly softening back into that familiar shaky expression that you have shown them a hundred times now.
hyunjin stepped to you, always going to you. his knees felt weak but he caught you when your own legs buckled.
the adrenaline, the release, the fact that they saw you, fucked you up. your hands started trembling. you had the audacity to act like this. you sick fuck.
“fuck… y/n.” he whispered.
he was scared, he was horrified, but mostly he was so in love it hurt. you trusted them enough to show this. you killed for them without blinking. he felt ashamed. thrilled.
seungmin stood a few steps away, still covering his mouth. he was scared to death, really was, this wasn’t a game anymore. but the idea that you were this dangerous, that you were an actual threat, this loyal, this okay with it, it made him want to worship you.
hyunjin cupped your face with both hands, thumbs brushing your cheeks. “it’s okay. we got you. we fucking saw.”
then he kissed you.
it was messy, not how good he usually kisses, he felt too much then to. he’d been dying to do it for weeks. his tongue pushed into your mouth almost at the very start of it, needy, he needed to consume the violence you just showed him.
you whimpered into the kiss, knees completely giving out. he had to hold you up with one arm around your waist, the other still cradling your face, your hands fisted in his shirt.
seungmin watched for a bit, shocked, terrified, traumatized. answer to that? grabbed your waist, spun you so hyunjin would have to get off you, and seungmin also kissed you. teeth, tongue, a little biting on your bottom lip because oh his fucking god. he loves his crazy bitch. but there was desperation. his hands were shaking as they gripped your hips, holding onto you. breathing, muttering “shit… shit…” between kisses.
hyunjin leaned in again, kissing the corner of your mouth while seungmin was still kissing you. then their lips met too.
a nasty, sloppy three way kiss. tongue. so much spit. heavy breathing. moaning into it.
hyunjin was whimpering softly into it, one hand still holding you upright, the other gripping the back of seungmin’s neck. he felt overwhelmed. protective for you, with pure lust. he couldn’t tell which was which.
he was terrified of what you were capable of. he was so in love he wanted to cry. he wanted to fuck you right next to the fresh body.
seungmin was obviously overwhelmed, kissing with his mouth always open and panting into it, one hand sliding down to grip your ass. or at least he hoped it was yours. okay, didn’t care. it was yours, though.
he felt disgusting for how turned on he was, he knew this was wrong, so wrong, but that only made it hotter. you killed a man in front of them.
for them.
tears were running down your cheeks from how much you felt, the love, the relief that they didn’t leave you, the genuinely fucking sick and disgusting thrill that they told you to do it.
it was too much, too new for you. everytime their tongues touched yours or each other you made a little sound, you had to, you were basically sobbing into the kiss. oh how that affected them.
hyunjin pulled back, panting on your lips, lost in this feeling. “fuck, y/n, what are you?”
seungmin didn’t pull back at all. he licked into your mouth again. “doesn’t matter. just… don’t stop.”
you didn’t.
this was it. they knew. they saw. and they kissed you anyway.
the news spread fast. the second they got the group together (after helping you hide the body and washing the blood off your hands, normal couple shit), they told the others everything.
told them you did it, that they told you to, that you no hesitation did it, that you’ve actually done this before(a lot, probably), that they couldn’t fucking help making out with you after.
they knew what you were.
they wanted you more.
so… your relationship with each of them developed, of course.
jeongin was just sooooo impatient!! couldn’t wait, couldn’t let the relationship develop, immediately poured all his emotions into being physical. which means, two nights after he heard the news he dragged you into his bathroom during a party at his place, locked the door, and pushed you against the sink. pretty little mouth open, panting. kissed you then. it was sloppy from the start, really was. tongue, teeth, him grinding on you, hands all over you, he smiled into the kiss. you make him unable to think straight.
two weeks later in chan’s kitchen with chan, you were walking with one of his hoodies from the laundry(to put it into your bag) when he walked in. he, wordless, backed you against the counter, urgent, big hands on your waist, and kissed you. quiet little groans and all, really human, really a desperate man. you couldn’t speak, that’s how much you were shaking, how new the emotions were. he kind of got that, had the suspicion that you had a problem with emotions. liked you the same. made him kiss you harder.
then. few days later hyunjin took you to a walk in the woods(why? felt romantic. trusted you not to kill him), held your hand the whole way, then pushed you gently to a tree and kissed you so softly at first it made you smile and your face crumble. you were fragile emotionally, collapses like these happened easily. it turned hungry fast, him whimpering into your mouth, hands sliding under your shirt, groping, loving, desperate. you two could barely part.
changbin took you on a drive in his nice car, omfg that car, parked somewhere, and just talked for hours to you. you kissed him there in the passenger seat, sweet, slow, lots of little pecks that turned into him licking into your mouth with a shaky moan. that was hot.
you almost fucked him right there, you weren’t far from it, but he was clearly nervous(though he felt the energy too) so you gave him more time.
felix was next. just fucking happy to be a mess. he invited you over, the usual, you sat on his bed, watched him play.
but the little dumb fuck just couuuuuldn’t behave. “i know what you did. hyune told us everything. and i… i… it’s, uh. not… bad.”
unsure fuck. it was obviously hard for him to get those words out. wanted to confess his love first place, this came out.
you ended up kissing him on his bed. he was shy at first, soft little pecks, then got into it better, sliding his tongue in even though he barely ever did that and wasn’t good at it. he whimpered the whole time. especially when you two laid back on the bed.
han was nervous. he invited you over when minho was gone and spent twenty minutes being a shy little fuck. obviously had a plan but missed the balls to act on it.
so you took it into your own hands, held his pretty face and kissed him. he wasn’t good at it, clumsy, inexperienced, giggling nervously into your mouth at first, but then melted into it.
you’re so scary. he likes you so much.
minho visibly started touching you more. wanted you even more then. you were at their place watching a movie, he waited until han fell asleep on the couch, then pulled you into his room, closed the door, and kissed you to half death.
his heart was hammering.
he really, really liked you. the exact way you were.
seungmin was… conflicted. if that’s the right word. after that night in the woods he got weird and distant for a few days, then showed up at your door.
you kissed him in your doorway, just missed him too much not to. he grabbed your face almost roughly while kissing you, obviously not about the kissing technique but about being close close close to you. he pushed you inside, kicked the door shut, kissed you against the wall. desperate.
group hangouts turned romantic. brutally intimate. kisses stopped being private, you’d make out with one of them in the kitchen while another watched. they started touching you more openly, and if the other saw that, he also had to touch.
jeongin hit first.
you were barely through his door when he dropped to his knees right there in the hallway. yanked your jeans down with shaky hands, acting like a fucking animal, fighting your panties off.
lil bitch hooked one of your legs over his shoulder while you were still standing and buried his face in your pussy. (bush or no bush, reader’s choice jeongin’s fine w anything, though it’s a bit more realistic for reader’s character to be shaven just for expecting something like this)
he loves pussy. genuinely loves it.
you got eaten the fuck out. like hello he sucked clit. moaned into you. where did he learn this from? (dumb question, you can trace his whole life back anytime)
you had to grip his hair to stay upright. he slipped two fingers inside you too, curling them, searching around, tongue flicking. you came standing.
only then did he stand, wiped his shiny chin with the back of his hand, and dragged you to his messy bed. (never makes it.)
little asshole was really in the mood but still nervous. he fumbled the condom twice before rolling it on. the sound he made then was adorable. after he finally pushed inside you he slipped out on the first thrust because he was shaking so bad.
“shit— sorry, fuck, you feel too good.” he hissed.
second try was better. he fucked you sooo good, deep, wanting you so bad, both hands on your thighs. came with the sweetest moans ever.
he felt blessed. laid with you, tangled in each other as aftercare, patted your hair and was all in his head about the fact that you kill people and let him bury his face in your cunt. boy be in loooove. like so in love that he allowed big amounts of physical touch, he never did that with any of his hoes before.
hyunjin was next, a few nights later. of course, he was the “first”, after all. deserved it. would have been the first to dick you down too if jeongin wasn’t this fucking impatient.
you were at your place. he found your vibrator by accident while reaching for something in your nightstand, and his eyes lit up. tongue poked out from between his plush lips, the way you love it so much.
then he smiled, beautiful, ear to ear. “well well, baby.” oh he’s experienced. and made for you. “can i?” he asked.
of course, hyunjin.
and laid back on the bed you were.
“let me see.” he whispered.
he took his time. stripped you, kissed down your body, pouring all the love he had for you since you made him fall in love in that forest, then clicked the vibrator on and pressed it to your nipples first.
had fun. had lots of fun with it, with you.
kept on teasing your nipples with his mouth, moved the vibrator down to your clit. lowest setting. when you started squirming around he turned it up, watching your face. unbelievably in love with you.
he kissed down your stomach, made you cum while laying his face on your thigh. he looked like an angel.
he is an angel. questionable morals, maybe, not a good guy at heart, but where does that matter to you.
when he finally fucked you, he kept telling you how perfect you felt. really meant it, even through the condom. your personality got him so unbelievably worked up. his hair fell into his face. it was beautiful. fucked you missionary while holding eye contact. sweet. attached, since the woods.
he held you for hours after, stroking your hair. felt lucky. so lucky it’s unable to be expressed by human words. another one not big on physical touch, great first twos, but it was so emotionally significant to him, you were, that he simply didn’t feel any discomfort.
oh chan waited until you were staying the night at his place. fingered you on the couch first while he kissed your neck. he was nervous too, his hands trembled when he laid you on his bed, when he took your shirt off.
when he finally fucked you in his bed it was manly. can’t stress this enough, this is a man. held your hands above your head, eyes locked on yours or where he was disappearing into you. truly a tummy flipping experience. he slipped out once, cursed under his breath, then slid back in with a low “there we go, sweetheart.” that alone barely made you cum.
afterward he held you so tight you almost couldn’t breathe.
this man gets hard thinking about how crazy you are. it makes protecting you and being protected by you feel like the hottest power exchange. he’s sick, pathetic.
minho was next. and loud. it was so wet, so wild, so physical. fucked you against the wall in his room while han was out. like it was that wild, typa wild where you two had to do it on the wall. like one hand around your throat. hello??? when he came he buried his face in your neck and let out this long, shaky groan in that baby little voice. yes sir.
he’s crazy for his genuinely fucked up girlfriend.
changbin was nervous. baby boy took you on another drive, parked somewhere dark, and before he even touched you he went “i’ve never… with someone like you… i don’t wanna fuck this up.”
you ended up in the backseat. he ate you out for so long you lost count of time, and he was moaning and whimpering the whole time, sounds nonstop.
“fuck you taste so good… can’t stop, baby, please let me keep going.” okay no complaint here.
he couldn’t stop making sounds. fucked you good, kept making little “ah fuck” and “you feel so good” sounds. he came so loud you had to cover his mouth. what if bigfoot hears and he’ll hurt hyunjin while fucking him??
changbin can barely bear with his big boy feelings for you. it feels so grown up and such a real life situation that he ends up being crazy in love, not a little crush anymore, this man can see his kids with you.
han… fucking hell, han. first you barely had his tip in your mouth for thirty seconds before he was whining “wait wait i’m gonna—” and shooting down your throat with the most pathetic, beautiful moan.
he was so embarrassed he hid his face in a pillow for five minutes.
when he finally fucked you he lasted maybe three minutes(came with a horrified “shit—oh, oh, sorry—“), trembling around, but he ate you out after.
he’s gotten better since that… kinda.
he’s in awe that someone as scary as you lets him touch you. it makes him grateful, like wdym you kill(so badass)(no han, not badass, a fucking crime) and willing to bounce on his dick. he’s the luckiest alive.
seungmin was soft and sensual and lowkey a bottom. your first time with him was slow and intimate, he let you take control, laid back while you rode him, hands roaming your body. worshipping, really. this man saw you kill.
he moaned so pretty, kept his eyes on you the whole time. couldn’t look away. when you choked him a little he came so hard his eyes rolled back and he cried out.
he’s surprisingly submissive once clothes come off. skinny hips bucking up desperately, letting you use him however you want. he feels safest with you being in control, your violence outside the bedroom makes him want to surrender completely inside it.
felix was such a pillow princess about it. last one to get fucked too.
your first time was on his fancy bed. he was so overwhelmed he kept saying “holy shit” and “you’re so hot” while you sank down on him. he was shaking. you pinned his wrists above his head and rode him until he was whimpering and moaning and crying out and other colleagues, whole body damp, begging you. when he finally came he kinda cried.
felix is lowkey terrified of you and that terror makes him so… submissive. he loves being at the mercy of his murderer girlfriend. he’s genuinely so in love with your personality that he brags about you to everyone and everything, he’s dumb, but not dumb enough to let it slip that his beautiful girlfriend murders people, so it’s safe. kinda.
it’s the fact that you’re this sick in the head. that gets them so crazy. well, it’s not just a kink, it’s psychological, it’s a man thing in their heads. they feel chosen, protected. wanted in a way no normal girl could ever want them.
you could kill anyone else in the world but you choose to be like this with them. you kill for them.
they acknowledge this.
makes them crazy in love. it makes them feel like their pure nature, which, all eight’s, is just pathetic little boys, after all. it makes the sex better, it makes everything more intense.
minho is the one you enjoy sex with the most. lowkey the autistic bad bitches of the group. so perfect match.
when you fuck it’s intense, animalistic, and both of you get so loud it’s embarrassing. you’re always moaning and screaming, nails digging into his back, telling him to fuck you harder while your eyes roll back. what that does to that man? gets him two times louder.
the first time you two really let go, han knocked on the wall with a “you guys okay in there???”
two weird intense people at each other. he matches that unsettling energy you have(except you’re true evil and he’s just a little weird but whatever). best dick. best connection. no contest.
but of course you still love the others just the same!!
sex or no sex, you would truly die for them.
okay, but sex. like jeongin is unreal with his fingers. one night he had you bent over the couch, two fingers in your pussy and one slowly working into your ass while he ate you out from behind. he was weeeeirdly good at it. patient, lots of lube, murmuring “relax baby, i got you.” it felt good but strange. you’d already came three times before so your body just tapped out after half an hour. you whined “innie… can’t… too much” and he immediately stopped, kissed your back, you told him another time when you’re not spent. instant agree from him. he’s such a eager pussy lover it’s ridiculous.
chan has brutal kinks. even the lightest one is how he likes fucking you from behind with a hand fisted in your hair, spanking you, hard, leaving marks. genuinely railing you.
one time he edged you for almost an hour until you were sobbing and threatening to stab him. he laughed at you.
careful with aftercare though, truly all about you.
they’re truly addictive, that’s exactly why you’re always just needy as fuck.
they’re helpless.
one afternoon chan’s on a serious work call on his couch. who cares, you drop to your knees between his legs and start mouthing at his dick through his pants.
he glares down at you, mutters “give me one second” into the phone, then mutes it.
“y/n i’m in the middle of a fucking meeting—” he growls, hand in your hair.
you look up at him, battling your eyelashes.
he folds.
chan always folds, this is very important.
he ends up fucking your throat while still half paying attention to the call. slaps you when you gag so you’ll stay quiet.
or like poor felix is studying for a big test, books everywhere, stressed as fuck. you crawl onto his lap, grinding on him, tugging at his shirt.
“lixie, please, need you.”
he’s sweating. “baby i have this test in two days— fuck— okay just… just real quick.” he ends up bending you over his desk, fucking you fast while trying to read his notes over your shoulder. it’s fucking hilarious. this guy’s whole existence is hilarious.
or hyunjin is painting in his room, focused, music, whatnot. you come in, tugging at his sleeve, whining.
“baby i’m in the zone right now—” is what he goes on about until you shove your hand down his pants and he drops the brush.
ends up fucking you against the wall, moaning into your neck. you and your loud men against the world.
han is the easiest. you don’t even have to ask. you walk into his room while he’s gaming, tug his hair(no like that’s really all it takes), and he immediately drops the controller. “okay okay— fuck— hi baby.” he whines out, already pushing your panties aside.
jeongin is usually down but sometimes he’s also on the game. you sit on his lap facing him, grinding, holding his face and trying to turn it towards you, and he has the audacity to keep playing?? yeah lasts about four minutes before he throws the controller. “you need it right now? yeah? c’mere.”
changbin will literally pause whatever he’s doing. “you need me baby? okay, come here, i got you.” he’s the most… pathetic is not even the right word, most down for you.
seungmin’s nonchalant ass is the same mentally, but not on the outside. you tug at his shirt while he’s on his laptop, whining. he grumbles “i’m busy, y/n” but two minutes later he’s got you bent over the couch anyway. can’t say no to you.
none of them can. especially minho. he’s another who never even denies you first place, he’s the luckiest man alive for having you, after all. (you’re having him)
they love that their girlfriend is this sick. they really don’t feel bad about it, they’re dumb boys, they have zero ethics for this.
even if you… you come back bloody sometimes.
not every kill, but it does happen. they freak out. like their beautiful girlfriend has blood on her, lots.
chan usually recoils, eyes huge. “jesus fucking christ y/n—” he presses the back of his hand to his mouth because he might throw up.
he’s a normal guy at heart. blood belongs on scraped knees and paper cuts, the shit this sweetie grew up with with his perfect little life, not covering his beautiful girlfriend.
hyunjin gags, turning his head away for a second. “baby… there’s so much, fuck, it’s in your hair.”
felix looks genuinely green. “i can smell it. oh my god i can smell it.” he has to sit down on the couch and put his head between his knees for a minute.
jeongin’s face twists in pure disgust. “you look like you took a bath in the dude. that’s… that’s a lot of blood, babe. holy fuck.”
changbin actually looks like he’s fighting tears from how grossed out he is. “we need to get you cleaned up right now. like right now. i can’t— i can’t look at it too long.”
seungmin runs his hands down his face(imagine the oh my fucking god bro picture), turning away.
han makes a high nervous sound and hides behind minho, peeking out. and minho, looks nauseous. actually turning his face away.
they’re all disgusted by the blood, deeply. it makes their stomachs turn and their skin crawl, blood outside the body is supposed to be something wrong, well this is wrong.
none of that disgust ever touches their love for you.
not even a little.
they’re disgusted by the blood, genuinely grossed out, they’re normal ass boys who grew up with moms who made them wash their hands before dinner. blood is supposed to stay inside bodies. but never once are they disgusted by you. not even a little.
you earned this devotion.
…you, also, kinda soft launched that you liked them since the woods. well, soft launched it by not telling the whole story, just that oh you did almost end up taking up on their offer and did see them and they were cute then then ooooh sometimes you saw them around but were too much of a pussy to walk up to them… sure. they told you they don’t care. that they’re not mad. anyways, you also told hyunjin that you didn’t actually bury an ex. that they were your first boyfriends. he took it so good.
they love your ass too much to get creeped out by this.
and now that we’re at the ass topic, hyunjin literally loves your ass.
he’s always groping you. not even sexually always, you’ll be standing in the kitchen taking to one of the others and he squeezes a greedy handful while walking past, on his phone, combined with a little kiss on the side of your head. or while you’re watching something. while you’re brushing your teeth. both hands full of your ass. happy boy. content boy.
he eats it serious asf too. loves having you face down, ass up, tongue buried deep in your asshole while he moans like he’s the one getting eaten out(oh, that’s… a nice thought. you two will explore that later too). he once ate your ass for almost forty minutes straight until you were shaking and crying into the pillow.
jeongin is a close second place there. he’ll smack it everytime you walk past.
“can’t help it baby, it’s right there looking at me.”
chan loves gripping it hard when he fucks you from behind, big hands holding you, sometimes spreading you open while he rails you, his eyes rolling back at the combined feeling of you around him and in his hands.
the others ranked would be changbin then, minho, seungmin, han and then felix but only because he’s such a boob guy that it completely overpowers it.
they’re men.
you’re a predator. like an actual fucking predator, not human in your mental senses. you could kill anyone, you’ve proven it. but you chose them. in their boy brains that’s the ultimate compliment, it gets them so going, so attached to you.
nothing could ever turn them off when it comes to you. not the fact that you confess that you killed for them before, not the way you steal their things, not when you get overwhelmed.
last one happens a lot. because just again, you didn’t have real feelings before them. you told them that already.
so your emotional system is fucked up. like barely functional, that fucked up. when too many feelings wake up at once it just crashes you the fuck out and activates a fight or flight in your body. you’re weird then. they still love you.
to demonstrate these lil crash outs, let’s say you’re at felix’s house, sitting on his bed while he’s lying next to you. on his laptop. you’re watching his side profile, the perfect little nose he got so lucky with, that he’s shirtless and this flawless looking(you don’t care that he’s dumb) and then it makes your heart ache. this overwhelming wave of love and obsession and disbelief that this dreamy unreal dickhead is yours. all of them are yours.
and this feeling gets so hard these times that you have to so something about it. in this case, your hand grabs his skinny arm, pure adrenaline and sadness in your inexperienced body.
you squeeze, hard, shaking it a little, tears spilling down your pretty cheeks.
“whoa, whoa, y/n. hey, hey what the fuck—” his deep voice cracks as he turns to you, like imagine the voicecrack, eyes wide. he looks so panicked, one hand hovering. he doesn’t know whether to hug you or call an ambulance. “baby what’s wrong? did i do something? are you hurt? talk to me.”
“eeeeeeeeeeee—”
“eee what??”
dipshit.
you keep squeezing his arm and vibrating.
he eventually just pulls you on top of him, arms wrapping around you. “okay. okay. you’re okay. i’m here. breathe or… keep doing this. that’s fine too.”
he almost shit himself from fear. this boy was genuinely made for you.
all of them were.
or like with hyunjin you’ll be cuddling and suddenly the love hits so hard you bury your face in his neck and squeeze him as tight as you can, squealing around.
hyunjin usually rubs your back. he loves when you do this on him, makes him feel needed.
chan lets you hit him those times, maybe it’ll help. never does. settles with caressing your back and arms until you calm down. dada knows how to handle you. his psycho gf.
minho is the best at it, absolutely. he hums to you, or when in bed, wraps his arms and legs around you. lets you shake and cry and make whatever noises you need to. it’s an amazing solution.
changbin just wants to provide for you then. gets worried every single time but calms down real soon because he knows you’ll calm down too, that you’re fine, that you’re just a little… new to this. he can offer you ice cream he bought only for you(saw it in movies, that’s why it’s so simple) and getting all eight of them in one bed. he’ll list shit he could do for you, not shutting the fuck up while you’re having a meltdown on his chest.
oh seungmin is just a softie for his sick little gf. you grabbed his shirt once and started shaking while he was trying to cook. he sighed, turned the stove off, and just pulled you to him. “you’re so fucking weird… c’mere.” he lets you cling to him until it passes.
han panics. han’s dumb. han tries his best tho. ends up just hugging you so tight you can barely breathe while making nervous little noises with you, rocking, bouncing you a little. the little bug he is.
jeongin finds it hilarious. even more adorable. you once climbed on top of him while he was playing something, grabbed his face with both hands and just stared at him intensely while tears ran down your cheeks. he paused the game immediately.
“well hello. you good or are we having another crash?”
you just nodded and kissed him stupid. he smiled into your mouth. you love the smell of his skin.
they know now that your brain literally didn’t have this much feeling before them. sometimes it’s love so strong it feels like pain. sometimes it’s fear that something will happen. sometimes it’s just pure overwhelming joy. sometimes it’s having to slap on hyunjin’s chest(he always takes it) and telling him to not go into the woods because bigfoot will fuck him(he never understands what you’re on about). sometimes it’s sadness and going crazy and having to rip your two arms off yourself then stumble into their chests.
and they deal with it so well. surprisingly well. that’s because they’re truly wired with you. crazy little connection y’all got there.
they never get tired of it either, if anything they seem proud bc c’mon they’re the ones who finally made the emotionless girl feel something. it feeds their egos. they did that. they cracked your heart open and… cracked you in general. lmfao.
they could never love you less.
never. ever.
you earned this for yourself. you made this. you got yourself this little harem.
and there is no other women for them now.
only y/n.
author’s note: me di un beso de tres tiktok trend on y/n hyunjin and seungmin NOW. also reader is a horrible person, never do this guys ever ever, i’m so serious. if you do shit like this you’re a creep. this is a story made for appeal and entertainment and was requested but doing it irl is seriously too much. anyways han part two is coming i’m sorry for the long wait for that :(
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