Another cassette beasts 2002 beast: reapurr!

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@doomfisthero
Another cassette beasts 2002 beast: reapurr!
if i met a genie and fixed the world and all its ills with my first two wishes, my third wish would be that sabrina carpenter would get gradually taller. she'd be in on it and think it was hilarious. we'd have a strong cap at 7 feet here, maybe an inch a week so people have time to theorize--let's not be ridiculous. but she'd still keep up the "ooh! im so little and small!" schtick. but shed be gradually getting taller. she'd be like 6'1" and still jumping for the microphone. and she'd never say anything about it. and if anyone asked shed act like she had no idea what they were talking about. and shed cheekily play into it a little bit but mostly still keep up the "ooh im so little and small" schtick. do you see my vision. do you get it
ok and so if i met a genie and fixed the world and all its ills in one wish i would do the sabrina carpenter thing second and third i would wish for all evidence of one random taylor swift song to disappear from the world once every month or so. taylor would have no memory of it. her fans would remember it and there would be an outcry over where it went (it's not even in concert videos anymore!) but taylor would have no memory of it
instead, all her brainspace spent on that song would be replaced with the vivid memories of roman gladiator, taylaurius velox. she's able to hide this at first, but her music begins to take on a gradually romaner and romaner tint. at first, people are like "damn, she's getting REALLY conservative, huh" and other people are like "wow, she's so deep, she knows what a rubicon is" but eventually travis kelce leaves her out of nowhere (he wasn't sure if dating someone possessed by a roman gladiator made him gay or not and anyway he was getting sick of being like "we're going to play the lions" and taylor being like "LIONS? WHERE?") and taylor publishes an entire brutus themed album about this betrayal and it's beginning to weird people out
and so eventually travis kelce is getting like, bomb threats sent to his family for leaving taylor and eventually he's like "okay, okay, i left her because she kept having all these vivid nightmares of gladatorial combat and she kept saying that football was giving her the ick because we never actually killed anybody for the glory of rome" and then he just gets more bomb threats because he left a struggling woman during a mental health crisis
and eventually taylor is writing music about her forbidden roman senator lover and her fanbase is either whittled WAY down or WAY up because people want to watch this trainwreck happen (or maybe she influences culture so hard that we're just all really into rome now) but she's being super cagey about the name of this roman senator. until. and now here's the twist:
weird al has been getting all of the same vivid memories of taylaurius velox. and he still has all his memories of her old songs. so he's writing all these detailed song parodies of taylor swift songs that don't exist anymore including specific details about their shared gladiatorial reality that taylor has never shared with anybody else. including that her lover's name was publius, and she's been calling him Poob for short
at this point a lot of original swifties are leaving. they could do the brutus stuff, but they really can't survive poob. taylor makes a clapping back at the haters song including the lyric "these bitches don't know publius" and it ends up all over all sorts of merch. there's a renewed archaeological interest in roman gladatorial combat
most importantly, the internet discourse is the best it's ever been. does this make taylor swift transmasc? is travis kelce problematic for leaving his fiancee while she gradually morphs into a roman gladiator? is this good queer representation? if taylaurius velox was a gay man, does that mean the gaylors were technically correct? is weird al morally wrong for capitalizing off of her music if she cant remember it anymore? was weird al sent by god to torment taylor swift?
anyway thats what id do if i met a genie
You actually cannot skip to being good at a creative endeavour that you haven't put much practice into. You cannot trick your way out of the 'knows that your work is not what you want it to be but don't know how to improve it' stage by planning or reading or talking about it really really hard. At some point you just have to craft through it until your brain finds it's own unique way back to the 'everything I make slaps' stage and be prepared to start the cycle all over again. You just have to make that project you're excited about slightly less good than you want it to be. (Says this standing in a pool of blood and covered in blood and also coughing up a little blood)
everyone stop reblogging this I hate to be reminded of my own good advice
I's can banyue this.
The problem with being low support needs is that people mentally autocorrect that to “no support needs” and then proceed to give you absolutely nothing and then get surprised when you implode after six months.
Trace amounts of Monica in my life
A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life
My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica
#mambo number 0.0000000000005
First episode of Iron Wok Jan was crazy good.
More shows should have disclaimers directly telling the audience "yeah the source material is old as shit, fuck you it still kicks ass and you're gonna watch it and you WILL like it"
wait i need to find photos of the ex-aid suit. because they were ridiculous even by kamen rider standards.
and would you believe that they can look even stupider?
Also, Conor McGregor blew out his knee in like nine seconds last night and Drake lost a million dollars betting on him.
So even better
Chapter 20!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Reblogs are appreciated!
i had a dream last night that the entire world used a currency (?) called angrypennies which as the name implies are obtained by experiencing anger. the stronger and more intense your anger was, the more angrypennies you'd gain. an all-consuming rage would earn you more than a slight irritation, etc. so people were always searching for ways to fuel their anger and purposefully keeping themselves angry all the time because they wanted to earn angrypennies. unclear if angrypennies could be exchanged for goods and services, or if they were just a collectible.
anyway, as if this wasn't heavy-handed enough, at one point british comedian greg davies appeared and explained that angrypennies couldn't be worth feeling angry all the time. this was a real revelation to dream-me and i was finally able to break free of the angrypenny grind and allow myself to experience emotions other than anger.
it goes without saying that i will be using the word angrypenny as if it was part of the common vernacular instead of a term that my dreaming brain conjured up i.e. "he's all about the angrypennies" (derogatory way to refer to a guy who searches for reasons to be angry and possibly lacks introspection)
For non-Taskmaster people, it's important to note that Greg Davies is 6'8"/203cm tall and possibly his most famous roll is playing Greg Davies The Taskmaster, who's primary characteristic is that he's angry
idk who needs to hear this but it’s healthier for you to just accept that you’re gonna be kinda fat than it is to live the rest of your life miserably trying to monitor yourself to maintain a skinny weight your body doesn’t want to hold onto
“nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” what feels even better is living a life where your self-worth isn’t entirely dependent on your thinness and you don’t constantly monitor and shame yourself. attaching the tweet that was worth at least five hours of therapy for me
I can’t believe I actually spent my time on this
Sometimes you get a brief glimpse into the American worldview and decide that you don't want to know.
I cannot stress enough that this meme is entirely literal. there's no reference or subtext you don't know. these are simply the objectively most popular works of art from each denomination.
it’s time to face facts: charles xavier’s liberalism does nothing for the mutant cause.
if you didn’t know about their powers, charles xavier and erik lehnsherr would look like a pair of distinguished elder gentlemen. the difference between the two is that for as long as he’s been in the public eye, erik lehnsherr has always explicitly identified himself as the mutant magneto, while for years, professor xavier put on the facade of being a “normal” flatscan scientist.
but it doesn’t end there: as leader of the brotherhood, magneto never required his allies to wear masks or hide who they were. meanwhile, professor x almost always appears in public with only the most attractive (by conventional flatscan standards) of his students. he even goes as far as providing holographic image inducers for his less “palatable” students.
what all this tells us is that charles xavier only cares about you if your powers and appearance wouldn’t cause a stir at the country club, while magneto fights for the rights of all mutants
now, more than ever: magneto was right
this is a blatant oversimplification. and just plain wrong in most parts.
magneto is a radical. he is a terrorist. whether or not you agree with him doesn’t change the fact that he KILLS people. magneto’s goals do not require him to have a public image other than Magneto. professor x run a school. a sanctuary for mutant children and teens and adults. he requires a certain amount of social capital in order to run this school, in order to convince the parents of closeted mutant teens to allow their kids to come there. he SAVES CHILDRENS LIVES. while still allowing them to retain contact with their families and outside society. magneto is HATED. that’s why he can walk around with an entourage of people who look like they do. that’s why he can wear a cape and a helmet and bright red everything. people look at him and they see a freak and he allows it because it provokes a reaction that he’s looking for. he proves people are prejudiced with his presence.
professor X can’t do that. he cant risk KIDS AND TEENS getting hurt or attacked because of the way they look. he can’t risk being labeled a freak and an outsider and he cant risk his teachers and staff doing the same because then everything he ever worked for would come crashing down.
let’s equate this to something real. imagine this is all an allegory for queer people (it is) and imagine professor x ran a school for queer kids (he does) and his whole job was to convince super uptight conservative and religious parents to send their kids to his school. you bet your ass he’s gonna show up in his most christian clean pressed suit with a cross necklace and a rosary in his hands clutching a bible and wearing a ten gallon hat if need be. he’s gonna bring the masculine gay teachers and the feminine lesbian ones and he probably won’t bring trans teachers and students if they don’t pass because the parents will SEE that and go “hmm i dont like this guy’s looks”.
he SPECIFICALLY plays off people’s prejudices. purposefully.
and then? when he gets the queer kid safe? when they’re out of their parent’s grasp? he hands them a rainbow scarf and a bottle of hair dye and tells them to go wild. he helps the trans kids get hormones and binders and makeup if they need or want them. he introduces them to other queer teens and adults and lets them live the life they want to live, an authentic life, and a safe one.
but in public? wigs go on, disguises are in place, and pride pins and rainbow thongs are hidden. not because he’s worried about his own image or that he thinks everyone SHOULD look and act a certain way, but because he KNOWS that society is still grossly judgmental and if a kid in a mohawk and sparkly eyeshadow goes waltzing around the city they’re going to get bottles thrown at their head.
dropping the metaphor now; if they need to go out in full mutant form, they get disguises. uniforms. armor. they get trained on how to protect themselves and CONTROL THEIR HORRIFICALLY DEADLY POWERS THAT THEY OTHERWISE COULD HAVE KILLED THEMSELVES OR OTHERS WITH so they can be safe and be authentically them and OUT if they want to.
i side with magneto on a lot. but shitting on professor x? NO. BAD. and entirely missing the point. magneto has shown time and time again that he’s willing to let other’s die for his cause. kids and teens and humans and mutants alike. professor X is not willing to let a child die for him. period.
back to the metaphor; if you’re a trans person you worry about passing. if you dont pass you could get attacked, assaulted, raped, murdered, etc. there are certain areas of the world and times and spaces where you can be as out as you like. pride is a good example of this. drag queens will be out in full makeup and costumes. but no queen or king or trans person or queer ANYONE is going to advise you to walk down the street in Alabama at midnight in the same outfit.
professor x and magneto are both violently aware of societies’ prejudices. professor x was able to hide his existence as a mutant due to his privilege as an upper class white boy who’s power didn’t manifest in a visible way. he has used this privilege to help people. magneto, growing up during the holocaust, was targeted for being jewish AND targeted for being a mutant. due to this, he has chosen to make himself as visible as possible. he was tattooed with a string of numbers that will forever mark him as “other” and he decided to fully embrace that and challenge society to do the same. he thinks that the loss of a few, or many, lives is worth pushing for change. professor x’s focus is on protection and change in subtler ways. he uses his privilege and hidden status as a mutant to sway people’s opinions in other ways.
there is NO side that is without it’s flaws. but saying “professor x does nothing for the mutant cause” completely ignores the fact that he is doing everything he can to protect vulnerable groups like MUTANT CHILDREN and flat out RESCUES them from homes they might have or HAD been abused in otherwise and honestly makes me question if OP has ever experienced what it’s like to be attacked just for LOOKING a certain way and living in FEAR that any moment you’re going to be outed and discovered and killed for it. if 5 years ago someone had offered me a watch to make me look like a cis dude? i would’ve taken it and pledged my life to whoever had given it to me.
and yeah hiding SUCKS but so does DYING. and if you have to pick one GUESS WHAT??? most people go for the first. for those ok with the risk of the second there is the choice of magneto’s side.
Y'all might wanna read this ^^^^ Dude has a point
Part of what makes x-men such a good storyline is that both professor x and magneto are right.
Magneto is the voice saying “we shouldn’t have to hide what we are” and “they’re just going to come after us and murder us, so why not be visible?” and “change sometimes needs to be forced” and these are objectively true things.
Professor x goes “closeted is better than dead, or homeless, or abused” and “change is incremental” and “we can work to change peoples’ minds” and these are also true.