more like 'buy a shocked infant'

25|F|♉|T1D💉 Heyo, I'm Zyn! I reblog a lot of plants, reptiles, video games, anime and a bunch of other things I enjoy. Sometimes I post art too. Thanks for stoppin' by! L8R G8R 🐊

[dixy]

Person in crowd: You’re breathtaking! Keanu: *laughs* You’re breathtaking! You’re all breathtaking!

[finndamerons-archive]

castle // halsey

[ahkmenrah]

this is still such a good post

[ladyshinga]

if Gilbert Gottfried isn’t voicing this slamming power bottom then what are we even doing here

[elisamaza]

this screenshot leaves out the best part of the character design

guy fieri couture

[blapis-blazuli]

I think we’re not seeing the bigger picture here which is that Disney has a dating sim app, if Iago is in it then who the fuck else is in it

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

I cannot stress this enough, but, what the fuck

[unpretty]

[nootofboot]

I feel like it should be clarified that the sexy anime husband next to Iago is not, in fact, Jafar.

That’s Jafar’s staff.

[catparazzi]

HIS WHAT ???

[actualaster]

This post is a new punch in the face every time I see it

[hydrattan]

Dude, sick reference to Snoop Dogg smoking weed. I can’t believe you’re so clever. You were clever enough to bring up Sm – Snoop smoking weed on your stream, because you KNEW that Snoap Dogg smoke weed, and Smoke Dogg, he is s҉m҉d҉snoop. And you KNEW that if you brought up the Smook Dogg smokin 𝚍veed, that you – people would know that! And they would 𝕔𝕝𝕒𝕡!

[animalwoonz]

[dirtshrines]

pom pom frog

[zablorg]

[damnthesegames]

The only problem with building a home in the desert is how often Enderman try to aggressively offer you sand. 

[kirishima-hates-terfs]

He’s nervous

[porterr-robinson]

v.2

[littlealienproducts]

Ceramic Crocodile Miniature  by Barruntando

[the-real-eye-to-see]

It is perfect!

#LGBTQ

[noctuary-eyes]

★ Adventure Awaits! ★

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

*at a bar*

bartender: this is from the gentleman over there

girl: this is a plant

me [shouting from across the bar]: just wanted to say aloe

[gothgfs]

ok: not wanting kids

not ok: having no empathy for children and thinking emotionally abusing them is okay

[gothgfs]

seriously can yall stop fucking debating this? all i said was ‘dont abuse children’ jesus fucking christ

[glumshoe]

My main method for making friends has always been:

1.) make 1 (one) friend

2.) hope that this friend has other friends

3.) hope that these friends accept you as friend 1’s sidekick and tolerate you long enough to bond

[littletinysmallmouse-deactivate]

Alternately, you can be the rumba. You can be the awkward little robot that no one understands, and everyone slowly becomes attached to you because you’re always there, and it’s Wrong when you’re not

[glumshoe]

and you can let people strap knives to you

[edgebug]

so when i was 7 or 8 i’d “write letters to hermione granger” and set them out on the piano in the living room every night with my stuffed toy owl and every morning i’d have a letter from hermione back, sitting at the foot of my bed, and hermione and i corresponded like that for months and i’d just like to thank my mom for writing out a “letter from hermione” for me every single night

[sure-to-lure-someone-bad-deacti]

That is the cutest thing I’ve ever read oh my god

[justastormie]

so when i was about the same age i got really into both ciphers and james madison (idk don’t ask) so i just randomly started writing these letters like i was james madison writing to my own spy ring, using all kinds of ciphers. constantly writing that WE MUST SWITCH CIPHERS THE BRITISH ARE ON TO US. and it wasn’t every night because the ciphers kept getting more complex, but it was about one every week for six months and my mother always responded. and she always found the letters, because i took to hiding them in increasingly more obscure locations because spies, obviously. 

i didn’t realize how much work this was until i snuck down late one night for a cookie. and saw my mother bent over my giant book of ciphers and muttering to the dog “is this another code or can she not spell?” (i could not and still can not spell) and i was a bit angry at first but i kept watching and she KEPT AT IT. checking everything in that book against my letter and i never felt so loved. my mom with a full time job sitting up to figure out my silly letters said just because i enjoyed the game. 

i got her this bio of james madison a few years ago for xmas with a simple number substitution cipher on the inside saying “In thanks for your dedicated years of service, your daughter and occasional President.” She still has it pride of place on her desk next to the obligatory kid pics

so yeah cute mom story for the day. 

[unicornempire]

These are some of the best secret mom stories I’ve ever read, omg.

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]