Angel

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Masterlist

Lowk only have a few stories but need to keep em up at the top :)

* Smut

ATLA

Zuko

Fire, Pain and Love

Burn

The Marauders

James Potter

Music to my Ears - Masterlist

Superman

Clark Kent

I Don't Know Who You Are

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don’t MAKE ME GO TO WORK PLEASE LET ME JUDT TALK TO THE SILLY PEOPLE ON MY TUMBLR ALL DAY

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Music to my Ears - Part VI

James Potter X Fem!Reader

Summary: Attempting to 'work it out' you and James are discovering feelings you hadn't felt before. Unsure what to do with them James moves in closer and you attempt to push away.

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: Heyyy! another update be sure to interact and let me know if ya love it! <3

---

In the pub the group had finally gathered and finished their Halloween shopping, after Mary had shown off her rather bright costume Drew decided a round of drinks was a good idea. By the time you and James had entered the pub they were on their 2nd or 3rd round. Lily’s head shot up at the familiar sound of your laughter causing her to abruptly nudge Remus as you entered with James which then obviously alerted Sirius who not-so-quietly exclaimed “Is that Y/N laughing with James?”

Naturally the whole group turned to look and you were in fact laughing with James. “I didn’t realise she could even smile around him” Marlene said, once you had caught sight of the group and they all quickly whipped back. 

James stood close to you in the small pub feeling crammed by the amount of people in the place. Once you had spotted your group he leaned down to speak softly in your ear “I’ll get our drinks” he placed a soft hand on your arm. You had all but shivered under his touch, not used to the small affections, coming from James of all people. His eyes were full and kind as they searched yours for confirmation, you simply nodded and turned towards your friends, praying that they didn’t notice the pink tinge that now graced your cheeks.

You placed yourself in an empty chair that had been saved for you between Drew and Gareth. “Hey pretty girl!” Gareth lazily placed an arm around the back of your chair, him and Drew both trying to pretend that they weren’t just staring at you and James. You gave him a smile but said nothing, the last 20 minutes had been weighing on you.

“So… what's up with that?” Mary, across from you, leaned forward speaking in a low tone as everyone else on that side of the table also leaned in, you almost laughed at their demeanor.

“What do you mean?” You played coy, trying to be subtle.

“You and James shagging now?” Sirius all but shouted from beside Mary, she gave him a whack on the chest.

“Really Sirius?”

“What?” 

Remus jumped in “You could have tried to be subtle”

“I’m just asking what everyone's thinking!” he was rubbing his chest, giving Mary evils.

You giggled at their bickering before deciding to simply explain, “We’ve sorted it, we’re just gonna try to be mates.” Mary huffed, and sat back in her chair, that was clearly not the response she sought after.

“And you agreed to that? Without hitting him?” Drew chuckled from beside you. This was unreal, just a month ago these lot were convinced you two were entirely in love and now you can’t even convince them of a budding friendship!

“Wha- Yes!” you protested against the violent image your friends seemed to have of you. 

They all seemed to be somewhat convinced, Sirius and Marlene, who had caught the brunt of it from each of you, all the rants, the late night screaming sessions, the thrown books at one another, they had experienced the worst between the two of you and of course were still on the fence about this so called friendship. Marlene gave you an unconvinced look but you managed to reassure her with one that you were hoping said ‘I’ll tell you later’, and she seemed to leave it at that. 

James had joined with your drinks now, he placed yours down by you as you muttered a thanks before he rounded the table and took a seat that had been saved for him, on the end furthest from you.

“Blimey, it’s like everyone in hogsmeade has decided to come to the pub.” he chuckled slightly at his own joke before looking up and seeing everyone sitting looking at him. 

“What?” confusion crossed his face as he lifted his beer to take a sip. 

“You and Y/N shagging?” Sirius once again piped up, this time it was Remus to smack the back of his head as James snorted on his beer. 

“You’re such a twat Sirius!” Mary exclaimed

“Ow! What? It’s only fair that I ask them both!” Remus shook his head at him. 

James’ eyes flicked to you after he heard that, how did you respond to that? Of course you weren’t but did you reveal anything more than just the cold hard facts? Or had you recounted every single second of the conversation you had without skipping a detail. He looked back at Sirius. 

“We most definitely are not” he confirmed and you released a breath, thank god he didn’t make it into a shitty joke to humiliate you, maybe he has decided to really try. “Plus, we were gone for like 10 minutes, I would definitely last longer than that” It was now Sirius’ turn to snort on his drink as he burst out into laughter, well a sort of gargled, choking laughter. Lily smacked James at his risque joke. “Merlin Lils!” he rubbed his arm, overwhelmed by her power,  as you also began to laugh at his dismay. James turned to you as a smile crept up onto his face at the sound of your laughter. 

Luckily everyone else was focused on Sirius who had thankfully stopped choking and calmed down slightly. “We marauders are just being abused today!” He chuckled while wiping a tear. 

You rolled your eyes at his dramatics, “It was wholeheartedly deserved”

Drew raised his hand, “To be fair, I was curious too” You looked at him with a face of mock disdain. 

“You traitor!” 

“What?,,, you were laughing.. With James!” 

Everyone around you mumbled agreements or nodded their heads, you looked at James in a desperate attempt to ask for help. 

James abruptly stood from his chair, nearly spilling his drink everywhere, “Right!” he began, puffing his chest out, “No we are not dating, shagging or anything of the sort, yes we laughed, I am hilarious, we are trying to argue less and be adults, you lot should be happy we’re not constantly arguing” He spoke with such a confidence it caused everyone to just simply nod and agree, you felt like you were at a posh conference meeting all of a sudden, “There, we don’t need to talk about it more then, do we?” Everyone mumbled agreements and James sat back down grinning at you as you mouthed a ‘Thank you’ towards him, a small notion that Marelene definitely did not miss. 

Drew clapped his hands together in the silence. “Well, now that the whole band's here, let's discuss our set”. 

“Oo Yes! I really liked that one you guys did, about like going easy or something” Mary exclaimed, “You have to tell us who that was about!” she looked at Drew as he chuckled and for the first time in about 10 minutes Gareth spoke up. 

“Actually, Y/N wrote that one” he said as Mary looked at you.

James’ head turned to you, “Really?” 

“Oh it was a beautiful song, you guys should definitely do that one again” Mary continued as you smiled at her. 

“Well yeah we can do it, we’ll need to set up the mic on Gareth’s Drumset so he can do his background parts.” You spoke to Drew as he nodded. Your band seemed to have a good dynamic, no one was fighting for parts, wanting their songs over another and mostly agreed on setlists, which Marlene actually played a large role in as none of you could be arsed with choosing songs. 

You looked up at Marlene. “Sound good Marls?” she nodded enthusiastically. 

“We could also do that slow one again? Seemed to be a winner with the crowd” She said and you all agreed. 

“You’re our setlist manager,” Drew joked as Marlene laughed at him. 

The rest of the group were in awe of you, you were all just so in tune when you came to your music bouncing off one another so easily. Remus could count on one hand the amount of times the boys had instantly agreed with him and more often than not it was a prank idea, even then Sirius always had something to say. Anyone could see you all truly loved the music you made and you loved doing it together. Eventually everyone was having an input but you didn’t mind, they were your audience after all. 

“How about another slow one?” Lily suggested “People should have a break from all the jumping around”

You nodded with Lily’s suggestion, “Yeah actually I’ve been working on a few songs-”

“Nooooo, come on, we need more Rock!” Sirius drawled, cutting you off, but you didn’t mind you enjoyed his excitement. 

“Sirius! People need breaks you know” Lily shot back, Sirius did not enjoy her subtle safety measures. 

“We’re not gonna be in the castle anyway! It’ll be fine” Lily looked at Remus and James for help, Remus simply shrugged his shoulders as James rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Well it is Halloween Lils” James spoke sheepishly. Lily just huffed at him. 

Drew nudged you once their argument had subsided, “You got anything new for us?” You smiled at him while your hand mindlessly traced the handle of your butterbeer. 

“A few things yeah, some slow, some not so slow. Can we get together and try them out?” You explained as Sirius’ head shot up to you. 

“Yes! Definitely the not so slow!” he almost shouted, basically propelled out of his seat at the idea of joining band practice, Remus had to lift a hand to pull him down. 

You all continued to discuss the songs, what to dress as, briefly having to stop to explain costumes to James, Sirius and Pete. 

“Honestly, purebloods!” Mary joked after explaining the 3rd costume idea to Sirius. 

“Oi!” he shot back, “I’m just a curious boy”

You all laughed at that. It was beginning to get dark outside, you were all a few drinks down, your belly hurt from laughing. Who knew you could have so much fun when you and James weren’t at each other's throats. You felt like James was thinking the same, often catching him smiling your way before he quickly turned away or engaged himself in conversation and for a second you let yourself think, maybe he really does want to change, he really wants that chance, but he hurt you, he hurt you bad and over and over again. You could not forgive James Potter and you definitely weren’t going to do it within a matter of hours. 

-

Later in the evening you all had filtered out of the pub and started the long walk back to the castle. You were looking forward to bed, you didn't realise how cold it had become outside until you all opened the doors of the pub to the bitter cold. At the front of the pack walked Mary, Sirius, Drew and Marlene, all still engaged in the topic of the Halloween party at the Hogs Head. Behind them Walked Peter, Remus, Gareth they were speaking more calmly than the group in front. Lily had abandoned your side to join Remus ahead, leaving you alone with James. The only group to walk in stark silence.

“So…” You attempted awkwardly, you weren’t quite sure where you were going with your sentence, you just wanted to somehow fill the silence, luckily James filtered the gaps for you. 

“Hey, I didn’t realise you wrote the songs, that's pretty cool” Your cheeks rushed with colour at the complement, luckily it was cold and dark enough that you could blame it on the coming winter air. 

“Oh yeah, I mean Drew helps, I usually just assign myself the background.” You replied. 

“Well that one you sang alone was really good” James made it look so easy to compliment it was very frustrating, sure you could tell he was trying and you were trying not to be snarky but this can-do attitude that you hadn’t seen on James before kind of terrified you. 

Nonetheless, you smiled up at him, “Thanks, it was actually the first time I performed that one. Even then I had to be pushed to do it” You chuckled

“Well Drew was right to push you” James nudged your shoulder playfully. 

“Actually it was Gareth who convinced me” You said smiling at the ground as you recalled the memory. You didn’t notice how James stiffened slightly at the mention of his name, how he awkwardly coughed to stop himself from saying something he would regret. As you recalled that fond memory James couldn’t help but have images of every time you and Gareth were together flash through his mind. In DADA, slitting close at dinner, James saw the way he comforted you in the common room earlier that day, even in the Pub when he had his arm loosely tucked on the back of your chair. It seemed so natural for the both of you to be so consistently close he didn't understand why he felt a tightening in his chest at the thought of the two of you together. He’s trying to reconcile, to make things up so why did he still feel this way? 

“Maybe I could show you some of them?” You interrupted his internal crisis, James looked at you with a face full of content

“Seriously? You wanna show me?” He was practically giddy at the thought, a complete contrast to his earlier thoughts. 

You simply nodded. “Well I would love to hear them” James said smiling at you which had mirrored your own, “and if they’re shit you know I'll tell you”

You laughed at that, with that sentence James was more like the one you knew, a smartass, just like how he was that night after dinner. You felt more at ease with this James than the creepy super nice one. “Sure Potter, but  be prepared to love them all!” you joked back and walked ahead to catch up with everyone else. James smiled at you as he trailed after. 

-

2 Weeks Before Halloween

James seemed to keep his promise of making it up to you. You two may not be best friends but you were at least able to sit in the same room for more than ten minutes, you could physically see the effect it had on the group too, no one was walking on eggshells, trying their hardest to get you two to avoid one another and they all seemed lighter, happier. It made you feel terrible. You didn’t realise that yours and James’ constant arguments had this much of an effect on the group, if you had known maybe you would have tried to be friends with James sooner. 

James himself also seemed happier, he was still his usual cocky self but you didn’t see him as the egotistical person you knew before, he still made jokes here and there but they never had as much malice as they had done before and if he took it too far you would tell him and he would apologise instead of it becoming a screaming match you both learnt to adapt as you learnt not to take things to heart, he never really meant it anyway. Plus you made jokes back. He still sometimes had that aura of fake kindness towards you, he never acted like that with anyone else, like carrying your books, getting up so you can sit down, giving you his jacket when he sees you shivering, it was unsettling and nothing like the James you were used to. You could stand a few lighthearted jokes but this switch in him seemed suffocating, you felt as if he wasn’t giving you time or allowing you to warm to him on your own. These feelings were so prevalent but so confusing, you didn’t know what to do with them. So you did what any young adult with trauma would do, you pushed them deep deep deep down and prayed they would go away.

You finally snapped when James found you in the library, alone on a particularly cosy raint evening. That casual grin slunk across his face as he spots you. 

“Alright” Is all he says as he thumps down into the seat next to you. 

“Hi James” you reply, not even bothering to look up from your reading. This was the first time you and James had been completely alone together since that afternoon in Hogsmeade.  

“Whatcha reading?” He shuffled closer to you to get a glance at your book, he was sitting so close that you could feel the heat from his body. 

“A book” was all you responded with before he nudged you, unsatisfied with your answer, you huffed. “I’m studying for herbology, you know we have mocks?”

James snorted at that, “Yeah in January, I’ve got plenty of time, I don’t even study herbology.” he leant back, interlinking his fingers behind his head. You gave him a dull look which made him smirk at you. 

“Oh hey, before I forget.” He reached round into his bag and pulled out something small wrapped in tissue paper. He carefully unwrapped it and revealed a small slice of pumpkin pie no bigger than the size of his palm. you let out a short breath, he remembered? “For you, sorry I forgot the cream, didn’t want it sloshing all over my b-”

You didn’t let him finish, “Why?”. 

James didn’t seem to catch on, “well I know I have a lot of rubbish in my bag but it would be difficult to get the cream out of it.”

You shook your head, gaze fixed on the slice in his hand. “Why did you get this for me James?” Your voice had a slightly hardened tone to it that he didn't expect. 

“What do you mean?” James gave you a look of pure confusion and you didn’t know why but that frustrated you more. 

“Why do you do all this? Carry my books, pull out chairs, give me your jacket? I don’t understand how you can just switch James, from absolutely hating me to acting like…” Your line of thought trailed off as you heard yourself, why were you so annoyed by this? “I just- I don't want to trust it” you finally huffed out.

James scoffed, “What? Would you rather we go back to being at each other's throats? You can see from anyone how that would be a terrible idea”

You sighed “I know but-”

“But what? Y/N?” James had placed the pie slice down now out of fear of crushing it in his palm. “I’m trying, I’m showing you, I’m not forcing you to forgive me!”

“I know! I’m not saying you are it’s just-”

“Just what?” James' voice was softer now, his hand held your back as he had turned to face you completely now.. This felt like a fight, not like one you had before, like a proper fight, one that tugs on your heartstrings, one that makes you want to just get up and run.

You took a deep breath before continuing. “It doesn’t feel like you, you seem like a fake version of yourself that you’re only putting on to get me to trust you.” 

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” James’ voice was still as soft, his hand on your back now calmly moving up and down as if he was afraid you would burst into tears at any second. 

You gave out another huff and let your head drop into your hands “I don’t know” you mumbled. What did you want exactly? You definitely didn’t want to be miserable again, in a constant argumentative state. “I just want you to be yourself”

You both sat there for a minute, waiting to figure it out, together, in silence.

“It's not fake.” James finally uttered, you simply shrugged your shoulders. “Hey I mean it” James had moved his hands now to pry yours away from your face. 

“I just want to know you. Y/N” 

“Then why don’t you act this way with anyone else?” That caught James, he didn’t think for a second you could observe him the way he did you, that you could be seeing him with others as he saw you. 

He grasped your hand as he spoke slowly, his thumb tracing the scars “Because I'm not just making it all up to you, I’m making it up to eleven year old Y/N too” You smiled at that, James smiled too, he couldn’t help it, your grin was just too contagious. He tapped the table twice drawing your attention to the lone slice laid there. “Come on, eat up.” You huffed at him. 

“I’ll save it for later, not getting me any cream is the cruelest thing you have ever done” You joked, hoping to lighten the atmosphere, which seemed to work as James laughed at that.

“It’s like you said love, I’m an only-child, rich, pureblood.” He leant in closer to you now, speaking in a low tone, “It’s my birthright to be cruel”. You knew the tone in his voice was a joking one but you couldn’t help the way your breath hitched at his closeness, feeling stuck under his gaze you gave him a short smile before wrapping the pie slice back up and placing it neatly in your own bag. 

[0angel-tears0]

Music to my Ears - Masterlist

Masterlist for my masterlist! I am an organised gal.

All current posted parts <3

Music to my Ears - Part I

Music to my Ears - Part II

Music to my Ears - Part III

Music to my Ears - Part IV

Music to my Ears - Part V

Music to my Ears - Part VI

[0angel-tears0]

Burn

Zuko x Fem!Waterbender

Word Count: 9.5k

A/N: Another Zuko fic because I just love him so muchhhh and luckily for you guys this one is way longer . My boyfriend and I are from different cultures so I thought this would just be a fun idea to explore :)

Summary: Zuko refuses to let you go, proving his love and worth to you.

Warnings: some smooching, nothing major. Bit sad and angsty at times but being a bad bitch u get over it.

Enjoy :)

---

“Please, don’t do this” Zuko looked up at you, fearful of the tears reaching his eyes as he remained on one knee. His fist, which was once open and clutching a small golden ring, now closed keeping the ring hidden from view, shame quickly rising from the pit of his stomach.

You stood before him, your cool hand placed over his as you allowed your own tears to fall freely. “I have to Zuko”

“No, I won’t let you, I don’t care what the council has to say!” He stood now, dropping the shining ring from his hands carelessly as he grabbed you and held you close to him, you were more precious than any simple piece of jewellery. You couldn’t stop yourself from wrapping your arms around him and sighing into the familiar warmth of his chest.

You wanted to stay and remain in his arms forever but good things never last. “It’s not the council, my love” you spoke softly as you pulled yourself from him, you moved to the open balcony staring out over the vast landscape of the Fire Nation Capital. You hoped the cool breeze of the evening would help to subdue your tears but the treacherous weather did nothing to help. “It’s different now, without Yue…” You trailed off as you gazed up to the sky, your sister had been gone for years but you could still feel her, watching over you, just as she had promised. 

Zuko joined you, he placed an arm over your waist as you turned to face him. His heart broke at the sight of you afraid of what was to come. He wanted to do everything in his power to stop you from feeling like this. Zuko slowly lifted his hand, grazing the skin of your face as he placed a loose strand of hair behind your ear before he rested his warm palm on your cheek while his thumb grazed at your tears. 

“This would unite our nations!” he spoke, "Chief Arnook-”

“Is old Zuko, My stubborn father has no place getting out of bed let alone be at a council meeting.” You cut him off as you  stepped back from his grip once again anger was rising in you at the situation and you needed to get it under control. Zuko felt the loss of your presence and it terrified him, he couldn’t lose you for good, quickly he reached out and grabbed your hands before dropping to both knees. 

“Please, I would leave it all Y/n.” He begged as you looked down at him once again, he met your eyes, “If I had to choose between you or the world my love…” He paused, “I would burn it all for you”. 

Your eyes welled once more as your legs felt weak. You dropped to your knees before Zuko as you pulled him into a tight embrace which he willingly held onto. 

“I could never ask that of you” You barely managed to whisper into his ear before you stood quickly and made your way out the door, leaving Zuko eyes red and on his knees as he mourned the loss of your touch. 

—

You let the sea breeze blow through your hair as you stood on the deck of your ship, heading into the Fire Nation. Never in all your years did you think a Water Tribe ship would be able to sail straight on through to the heart of the Fire Nation capital  but here you were without a lick of trouble to stop you. 

You breathed in the cool air with an attempt to keep your nerves under control, you hadn’t seen Zuko in 8 months, not since the day he proposed, or tried to. Since then not even a letter, you know you shouldn’t have been annoyed by that but you couldn’t help the sting of hurt that followed. You had half hoped Zuko had found some sort of miracle loophole and you could both be together, but nothing. Until about a week ago you had received a letter encased in the fire nation insignia. Your heart almost leaped out of your chest as you grabbed it off the mail serviceman. 

“A birthday invitation?!” You scoffed at the letter as you complained to your ladies maid, “8 months and all I get is a lousy birthday invitation!”

Kiri, your ladies maid, chuckled at your demeanour as she brushed through your hair, “You did leave him” she said and you shook your head. Kiri had been your personal maid for years. You had a strong bond with her which transcended the levels of royalty and service. This friendship was the reason why she was able to say things that would get most servants punished for speaking out of turn. She was your friend and one of your closest confidants, you trusted her with your life. “Read it again!” She urged as you signed and picked up the scroll.

“The Fire Lord is honoured to invite Y/n Y/l/n, Princess of the Northern Water Tribe to join him in celebrations of his 21st birthday.” you mumbled out in a monotonous tone. 

“Hmm, so no hidden message. Are you going to go?” Kiri questioned while she braided your hair, preparing you for the night. 

You slammed the invitation down onto your vanity, before standing abruptly. “Of course not Kirii!” You exclaimed, "I broke his heart, he probably hates me.” You spoke those words slightly softer as you made your way to your bed, ready to cry yourself to sleep as you had done so many nights before. The force at which you had slammed the parchment down had caused another smaller envelope to fly from it, floating down peacefully to land on the floor. As Kiri pushed your chair back under your vanity she noticed the small envelope peeking out, she picked it up, noticing your name handwritten on the front. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” You sat up immediately to look at her, confused. She held the letter out to you and you took it from her.”Goodnight m’lady” she gave you a small knowing smirk before exiting.

You sat up on your bed, staring at the letter. Your name was written in bold ink across the front. You had thousands of love letters from your early courting days to match the lettering to but you could recognise the penmanship all on your own. It was unmistakably Zuko’s handwriting. 

You let out a loud huff before you tossed the letter onto your bedside. “No I won’t do it” You spoke to yourself, as if speaking the instruction aloud would physically stop you. You turned over and pulled the sheets over your head, forcing your eyes closed in an attempt to will yourself to sleep and forget about the letter. 

When morning came, you didn’t awake peacefully and calmly, Kiri was in your room throwing the curtains open and allowing the harsh sun to enter. You groaned at the sudden intrusion. 

“You haven’t read it?!” She exclaimed when she noticed the unopened letter at your bedside. You shrugged before pulling the covers over your head once more, trying to gain a lie in. “Oh no you don’t!” She pulled your sheets clean off and bundled them up to stop you from ripping them back off her.

“Kiri!” You groaned while tossing a cushion at her.

“Read it! or I will” you huffed at her but made no attempt to grab the letter. You weren’t going to call her bluff, you of all people knew how serious Kiri could be. It was your own fear that was holding you back. Fear of opening up a letter from someone who you once believed to be the love of your life, and it contains nothing but horrible harsh language towards you, your fear of Zuko’s hatred has entirely consumed you.

“Fine” You grabbed the letter and sat with it, just as you had done last night, Kiri watched you expectantly and you felt a tad diminished under her gaze. “I think I’ll have a bath this morning”. You looked up at her, “Please?” .Kiri let out a defiant sigh but left to draw your bath, knowing to take her time, knowing that you wanted this moment to yourself. 

As soon as the door shut behind her you released a breath that you were unaware you had been holding and with slightly shaky fingers you reached up and opened the letter. 

“My love…” The pain in your chest eased slightly. 

“I’m not entirely sure if you’ll ever read this, if you’re too angry with my lack of communication until now to even give this letter the time of day. But if you are reading it I just want you to know that I have not stopped thinking about you, loving you, since the moment you left me. A deep, dark fear of mine came true that day, one I never thought I would experience, losing you.” 

You breathed out again, he knew you too well. 

“You are the rose in my garden, the north star in the empty sky, my guiding light. I guess fear was another reason I never wrote. I should have fought harder to keep you in my arms but I was too scared to hear of news of a betrothal of yours to some Water Tribe man who doesn’t deserve you.

We have fought hard for our love Y/n, and I hope you know that I will not be giving it up now, not as long as I live. I am sorry, I pushed you, forced my own nation's culture and ideals without stopping to think of yours. I wasn’t there for you when you lost Yue, and I saw the devastation you experienced from losing your mother. I never had a good relationship with my father but yours is all you have and I never want you to feel like I’m tearing you away from him.

All I have is one simple request, come to this party, let me see you and show me you still love me. I know you want nothing to do with me but I beg of you please Y/N, it would be the most honourable gift to simply look upon your face…

Yours always, 

Zuko.” 

You didn’t realise how much you had been crying until you saw the droplets hit the parchment below you. Your heart wrenched at the idea of leaving Zuko alone, reminding yourself of that night made you feel nauseous but you made a decision. You must get things in order for your trip to the Fire Nation. 

“Ah, my dear!” Your father boasted as you sat to join him for breakfast, “Brilliant news, your cousin, Riuk, has delivered us a healthy, happy baby girl! We must go visit as soon as they return from our sister tribe in the South. I can already imagine the strong warrior that child will become!” You gave your father a small smile.

“That is wonderful news father” Your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes and your father looked at you with concern. 

“Something troubling you my dear?” You considered saying nothing, just leaving but no matter how stubborn your father could be you loved him dearly. “You know, in light of the news from your cousin, you too coulding be thinking about betrothal…”

“Father please!” You sighed, tired of this constant nagging from him.

“I’m just saying, 19 is-” You cut him off quickly.

“I am to begin travelling to the Imperial City this evening” you said, “I have two upcoming council meetings to get affairs in order before my departure, you won’t be bothered by them while I am gone.”

You father remained stoic for a short time, you were worried about his reaction, you knew he never approved of Zuko but that was before, when you were kids messing around, before your mother-. 

“That boy…” You father began but you cut him short, letting it known you had no time for his stubbornness. 

“Fire Lord”

“Excuse me?”

“He is not a boy, father, he is the Fire Lord.” For the first time since you sat down you looked up to meet your father’s gaze, directly. 

Much to your surprise your father smiled, his grin was so wide he couldn’t help but let out a mighty laugh. You were wholly confused while looking around at the guards as if they were able to offer an explanation to your fathers sudden madness. 

“Ah…” He wiped a happy tear from his eye as his laughter dimmed, “Your mother had very much the same look in her eye when her father disapproved of me.”

Your head shot back to your father, he had never spoken about mother so openly until now. “You were in-line to be chief! How could he disapprove?” You asked, ensuring your voice remained calm to stop him from steering the conversation away, as if you were attempting to not startle a wild animal. 

“He thought me to be a big dumb brute and he much preferred my brother, your uncle, for her hand.” You chuckled at that, “But your mother, spirits, she loved me so much that she would have unleashed tidal waves a thousand feet high if it meant she were able to become my wife.” Your father looked down now, water welling in his eyes as he thought of your mother. “I see her in you, her will as well as her love.” 

You stood now, making your way down the table to squeeze your father in a tight embrace which he happily returned. “Go to the fire nation my dear, give that fire lord and his chamberlains a piece of your mind.” a wide smile spread across your face as you kissed your father atop his head, “Fight for your love.” 

You gave him one last squeeze goodbye before making your way out of the breakfast room, “I’ll return soon father.”

“We are people of the Water Tribe! We embrace change and to hell with their traditions!” he chanted out to you from across the room as you giggled at him, finally leaving. 

—

And here you were, in the middle of the ocean, with the fire nation in your sights. As you neared a large shadow covered your, blocking the sun. You welled some water up by your feet, ready for a quick attack. You turned sharply at the sky to assess the danger but before you attacked you recognised the shape of your attacker. 

“Appa!” You exclaimed, excited to see your old friend after so long. As soon as he landed you ran and slammed right into his head, causing him to groan but nuzzle back into you, he missed you too. 

“Er hey! We’re here too!” a familiar voice spoke from the size of the Bison. You walked around Appa’s large head to come into contact with your four friends. Sokka, Katara, Toph and Aang. The voice being Sokka’s of course. 

“Guys!” You exclaimed almost as excitedly as you ran into their arms, Momo also joining in on the hug as he nuzzled into the back of your head. .”What are you all doing here?” You reached up giving Momo a loving scratch on the head as he remained on your shoulder. 

“We were on our way to the city when we caught a glimpse of your ship.” Aang explained to you as you had finally released him from your hug. 

“We didn’t think you would be coming.” Katara explained, her eyes always saying more than her mouth. 

“Yeah! What Princess would mess with a lousy birthday party!” Toph snorted out, always trying to make you feel better with her humour which Katara nudged her side. 

“Well, maybe I just thought it would be good to see everyone again.” You shrugged your shoulders. You didn’t want to tell them that you had spent the past week trying not to pull your hair out from the stress of having to face Zuko again and that seeing them was very much a welcome distraction from the deceptive thoughts that swirled in your head.

“Me mostly, of course” Sokka pushed his chest out proudly as he swung an arm over your shoulders. 

“Of course Sokka,” You rolled your eyes. Shoving his arm off of you. 

It felt good to laugh, you can't remember the last time you had a proper chuckle. These last months had been a slew of meetings and you welcomed the time to just relax on the open water and be yourself. 

“Your Majesty.” The captain spoke up from behind the group, causing Aang and Toph to make way for him as he grabbed your attention. “There is something we must discuss.” 

You tried your hardest not to look disappointed as you gave your friends a short smile. “Duty calls”.

Katara watched you go before she quickly turned back to the group. “How do you think she’s doing?” She asked, more pointedly at Aang, who had essentially mastered the ability to read people by now. 

“Y/n has always been hard to read, but knowing her, not great.” He replied as he watched you speak to your captain, your brow furrowed in concern. 

“She’s always had to keep up that princess act though right? Except when she was travelling with us.” Toph spoke up. 

“Yeah…but this seems different, like she’s hiding behind it.” Aang replied

“Yeah! She definitely didn’t act like a princess when we were younger!” Sokka joked, chuckling slightly at the memories. 

“We’ll be there for her, no matter what, it can’t be easy for her to see Zuko after all this time.” Katara spoke.

“Yeah and I was there for Zuko’s breakdown after she left! Who knows how she felt all alone.” Aang replied.

“If they’re so miserable why don’t they just get back together?” Toph suggested shrugging her shoulders like the answer was so simple, the rest of the gang thought on this. No one really knew the reason why you left, both you and Zuko had kept that secret close just for the two of you, so Toph’s idea actually started to sound like a great plan, especially to Sokka.

It’s almost like a lightbulb went off in his head. “That is a great idea Toph!” He spread his arms out and crowded everyone around before formulating his plan. 

“What are we whispering about here?” You asked calmly but it had still caused the four of them to jump right up, guilty smiles adorning their faces. 

“Nothing!” Sokka spoke quickly and you narrowed your eyes at him, but before you could begin to question him your helmsman interrupted, running up to you quickly.

“We will be docking shortly, your majesty.” 

You gave him a short nod before turning back to your friends, “I’ll get it out of you.” They all laughed nervously.

—

You weren't sure how to feel as you walked down the halls of the Fire Nation palace. You didn’t know when you would return or if you were going to at all. You lightly traced the walls with your hand, and for a moment you stopped to press your palm flat on the cool stone. You closed your eyes and embraced the cold, if you focused hard enough you could feel the low hum of the city which surrounded the palace, the laughter of children as they played about with sparklers, the continuous calls of the market owners, here in the Fire Nation the Fire Lord’s birthday was a public holiday and the summer was rife. You slowly lifted your palm from the stone and looked toward your guide, wanting nothing more than to shed the layers of clothes which had followed you from the north. 

“This is your room” The guide spoke. You gave them a small smile, “Your luggage is already here.” You thanked them as they gave you a bow and left you to get settled. 

“Just 5 days Y/n” you prepped yourself before entering the room. It wasn’t a ginormous room, nothing like Zuko’s which you had recalled spending many nights in. But it was a room fit for a princess, it didn't bother you whether you had slept in a mansion or a broom cupboard, you just hoped Zuko hadn’t gone the extra mile in order to prepare this room for you.

“Woah! Your room is huge!” Sokka spoke from the open door way. You chuckled at him but it wasn’t the same kind of laughter, not as hearty as Sokka remembered it to be and your smile barely grazed your face. 

“I’m sure we can swap Sokka,” you offered, placing yourself on the lounge at the end of your bed as you began untying your boots. 

Sokka leaned on the doorway as he watched, “Nah, I’m sure this is perfect for our Princess”.

You rolled your eyes at his mockery, you knew what he was doing. You never wanted this role, you always thought it would be Yue to take the mantle, she was older, perfect, always knew what to say. After the war your people needed a leader, you wanted to have as much time with Zuko as you could but as his responsibilities increased and your father’s health declined, you didn’t see it viable to continue your relationship. You just wished you didn’t do it as he proposed.Yes, you knew what Sokka was doing, what he always did, made fun of your position to make you feel better, he let you know that who you were now didn’t change how he saw you, his best friend. It was the same for Zuko.

You rolled your eyes at him, “You wish you were a princess.” You joked back, spending time with Sokka always made you feel better and it always helped suppress that gnawing feeling of dread which had made its home in the pit of your stomach the minute you received that letter from Zuko. It terrified you more now knowing there was a higher chance to simply run into him. 

“Sure but only for the fancy clothes.” Sokka joked back as he made his way into your room, and lounged on your bed, always one to make himself comfortable. “Speaking of fancy clothes… what are you gonna wear to the party?” You had managed to free your feet and yank your boots off by now as you turned to look at him. 

“You never want to know what I’m going to wear” You spoke slowly, suspicious of his intentions. 

He shrugged, “Katara wants to know” 

“Why can’t Katara come and ask?”

“She’s sleeping”

“In the middle of the day?”

“It was a long flight.”

You narrowed your eyes at him once more, his story didn’t seem right but Sokka is weird so you had no choice but to acquiesce. You crossed the room and reached for your bag, bringing it back to him. You began to empty the contents as you attempted to find the dress you had brought for the occasion, the bed becoming a mess of various materials and colours.

Finally, you had found it, a floor length deep blue dress. You held it up to him, silently seeking approval. 

“Hmm” was all he said as he scratched his chin. 

“What?” You asked, dropping the dress. 

“Nothing… nothing… that just doesn’t scream Water Tribe Princess.” you rolled your eyes.

“Sokka it’s blue, plus I’m not here as Princess, I’m here as a friend.”

Sokka scoffed, “Sure looks that way”, he said as he gestured to the room around you. 

“Well what do you suggest I wear?”

He thought for a moment, before sifting through the clothes. Eventually he landed on a long burgundy gown with very long sleeves that kissed the floor,  cut at the shoulders to give the impression that they are simply draped from just above your elbows. 

“Now this is a showstopper!” Sokka said, excitement in his eyes, his plan was coming together. 

“That’s red” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“Well we are in the Fire Nation, for the Fire Lord’s birthday” he said simply, you snatched the dress from him, tossing it onto the pile with the others. 

“Fine, I will think about it!” You hesitantly agreed and he instantly jumped up.

“Sweet! See you later tonight!” He gave you a sly wink before exiting the room.

You sighed looking down at the dress, it stood out for sure, especially against all your other clothes which ranged in tones of blue. “Oh spirits help me”, you grabbed the red dress and hung it up, before leaving your room. You needed to think outside of the palace, you would have no trouble avoiding Zuko out there.

—

Of course the spirits were not to be forgiving towards you. You had scarcely left the residence area of the palace before you saw him. He stood tall, speaking to his chamberlain with intensity. He looked so regal, like a true Fire Lord. You hoped you could turn and slip out somewhere before he noticed you but as soon as you made to move he looked up. His eyes met yours directly. 

“Y/n” He breathed out, you looked as ethereal as the day you left, a casual dress adorned your body. Seeing you draped in your home colours felt like a knife to his heart, a deeper reminder of the reason behind your leaving.  

“My Lord.” The chamberlain spoke out as he turned from the entrance of the council hall. 

Zuko blinked a few times before turning to him, “Yes, on my way”. He simply turned and entered the hall leaving you alone.

You felt a weight leave you, as if Zuko’s gaze was pinning you in place. You hadn't realised it until now but your cheeks felt hot, there was no doubt that they were burning a deep crimson. You stood straighter now, brushing off your dress before continuing on your path, trying not to think about Zuko, how perfect he looked, how soft his eyes seemed as they met yours, no Y/n, we are not thinking about Zuko. 

You cleared your throat before leaving the palace, hoping the sunshine is able to do well to distract you as you tried your best to keep composure. 

You had barely made it two steps out the castle before you were stopped by a fire nation guard, “My lady!” he exclaimed quickly running over to you.

You wave him off, “No need for formalities, I’m not your lady here.”

He stood back straight in front of you, “Apologies my- y-your majesty.” He caught himself but you still saw no need for the title. “We were under strict instructions to keep a close guard to your majesty.” 

“What’s your name?” You stepped closer to him. 

“Aito, y-your majesty” he flustered. 

“Well, Aito, I’m Y/n, so no need for the formalities.” you spoke softly with a smile on your face, “Who gave you those orders?” 

“The Fire Lord, Princess Y/n.” You rolled your eyes at his stubbornness but Princess Y/N was as close as you would get to dropping the title. “If you are to leave the palace grounds then I  must inform the Fire Lord of your movements.” He explained, your breath caught. The very last thing you wanted was Zuko knowing your whereabouts, you were doing this to avoid him. 

“Well, Aito, I am off to buy him a birthday present, a top secret mission.”

“I understand Princess Y/n, but I must insist.” 

“How about you come with me?” You suggested, he was thrown by that but you continued, “Yeah! We’re buddies now Aito, if I had a guard with me the Fire Lord wouldn’t need to worry about my whereabouts and I will remain in safe hands.”

Aito seems to think this over but agrees, seeing no holes in the plan. “As you wish,  your majesty.” You sighed but smiled at him nonetheless before you turned and made your way down the palace steps, Aito remaining in close proximity behind. 

—

“Y/N!” Katara exclaimed, she was waiting by your room door as she watched you approach. You had actually had a lovely day with Aito and he was surprisingly informative of what to get and what stores to avoid entirely and had even gift wrapped the small antique, promising you he would get it to the Fire Lord. You had eventually settled on a small hairpin made from the most beautiful shade of Jade you had ever seen with a small pearl sat in the centre of the handle. It was a simple gift, it reminded you of your early days when you used to rake your fingers through his hair.

“You’ll need to start tying it up soon, I have so many hair pins to offer” You were sitting on the edge of your bed, Zuko was between your legs, his back facing you as you massaged his scalp with various oils. 

“Mhm” was all he replied, he was in absolute heaven, his head resting on your bare thigh as he traced lazy circles on your shin, his eyes closed. You chuckled at the state of him before you pulled some hair off his face leaning down to place a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Y/n?” Katara Prodded. You had looked up at her as she finally caught your attention.

“Hm?”

“I said, where have you been?” She crossed her arms over her chest as she impatiently awaited your answer. 

“Oh.. I was just…out” You replied in an attempt to spare her the details. Luckily for you Katara was in no mood to continue to jab at you with questions.

She grabbed your arm, dragging you to your room “Right, come on we need to get you ready.”

“We?” You questioned as she pushed open the door to your room to reveal Toph lazily tossing rocks around as she lounged on your bed.

Katara placed you down in front of a large vanity that was scaled with hues of red and glimmering gold. She began working on your hair, already placing small plaits where they needed to be. Sokka and Aang were on the other side of the palace enforcing a similar technique as Sokka attempted to rustle Zuko’s hair. 

“Aang you could give me a hand!” Sokka exclaimed, feeling a tad overwhelmed at the sheer amount of hair laid in front of him. Aang who was sitting by the balcony fiddling with a small airball, looked over at the two. 

“What do you want me to do? I’m bald.” he reasoned and Zuko huffed a laugh. 

“You guys know I have servants for this.”

“Yeah, yeah you’re the Fire Lord but this has to look special” Sokka explained. While creating a tangled mess. He clearly wasn’t as skilled in this as his sister. 

“Why?” Zuko questioned.

Sokka panicked slightly before remembering, “Cause it’s your birthday!”. Zuko rolled his eyes, it’s not like he wanted this anyway, it was his council that insisted ‘"The Fire Lord’s birthday is a nationwide celebration my lord, you mustn't break that tradition now!”’ they would say until Zuko eventually agreed. His actual birthday wasn’t until next week anyway so this was the best he could negotiate. 

Zuko quickly swatted Sokka away, “No, I’ll just do my hair as I always do, there is nothing special about today. 

He stood before shouting down the corridor, “Izi!”, a young man who Sokka assumed to be Izi appeared at the door. 

“Yes my lord?” he spoke calmly. 

“My hair please.” was all Zuko had to say, he took a seat once again. Izi nodded before getting to work forcing a helpless Sokka to join Aang at the balcony on the other side of the room.

“I think you forget he is the Fire Lord” Aang said as he dissipated the small airball. 

Sokka simply nodded, “Yeah, maybe I do.”

—

After the initial formal celebrations, Zuko’s birthday party was now in full swing. A small band played quietly in the corner as the Fire Lord finished up greeting other nobles. Finally, he was able to join his friends.

But there was a frown which had crossed his brow as he approached them, “Has anyone seen Y/n?” he questioned them, Sokka simply nodded in your direction and Zuko followed his line of sight. 

There you were, in a long, deep red dress, like a goddess. That colour was made for you, nothing could convince him overwise He couldn’t help the way his breathing stopped as he watched you, smiling and laughing with someone that was not him. Some nobleman he had never seen before, he felt a burning in his chest as he straightened up and confidently made his way over to you. 

“Y/n” he said softly, catching your attention. The man you were talking to also turned at the sound of his voice, his face was a picture of frustration until he turned to face the Fire Lord, forcing  himself down into a quick bow. That satisfied Zuko for some reason.

“My lord!” The stranger said, “This is a fine party!”Zuko almost wanted to roll his eyes at the unashamed flattery. 

“Thank you” Zuko said, his tone sharp. “Please excuse us” the nobleman nodded before leaving you both alone. 

You couldn’t keep your eyes off Zuko during the whole interaction, he was the picture of royalty, it froze you in place and stopped you from disagreeing with him while he slipped his hand into yours and whispered for you to come with him. You should have stopped him, pulled your hand from his, told him that this was wrong. But the felling of his hand in yours sated a deep hunger that you had been craving since the day you left. 

It wasn’t until you were shut into a small storage cupboard with him that your senses came back to you. Even if Zuko was trying his best to keep you senseless, he wrapped his arms around your waist slowly while he dipped his head down to place soft kisses along your exposed neck, remembering just the way you loved to be kissed there.

“Zuko.. wait” You managed to breathe out as you placed your hands on his shoulders. 

Zuko pulled back immediately, keeping his hands on your waist as he looked into your eyes. “My love?” He questioned and you almost melted at the way he spoke, the way his eyes peered into you.

You had placed your hands on his chest now, pushing him backwards, forcing him to release his grip on you. Much to both of your dismay. “We cannot.” you shook your head at him. 

Zuko chuckled at you, “We cannot? Why not? Are you betrothed? Was it that man you were talking to because Y/n I SWEAR I WILL-” His fist ignited, instantly heating the small room.

You quickly doused his fist with water from a bucket nearby in an attempt to sedate his spiraling. “No! No it’s nothing like that.” you explained. He signed, dropping his hand. Only you could get away with putting out his flames, especially when you managed to do it so casually. 

“Then why?” he stepped forward to hold you once again, his hand still warm on your waist. 

“You know why Zuko” You looked up at him and placed your hands on his chest once more but made no move to push him away. 

“You’re here, you read my letter… You still love me” he spoke in a low tone, glancing at your lips.

“It was never about not loving you Zuko” You replied, shaking your head. He moved a large hand from your waist to your cheek. You slowly closed your eyes and inhaled his scent, wishing to remain in this moment forever. 

“Then what was it about?” He whispered, his face was much closer to yours now while his lips ghosted over yours seeking permission to do something he has yearned for over the last 8 months. You opened your eyes to meet his amber ones.

“Really Zuko?” He stopped leaning in, a confused look on his face, you pushed him off you completely once more, this time with no intention of allowing him to pull you in once again. “I would have to leave my people, my home!” you explained with disbelief, 

“I never asked that of you!” His voice was rising, his temper bubbling. 

“You never had to!” you exclaimed, your volume matching his before you let out a breath, trying to calm yourself before going on, “‘Following the acceptance of the ring your Fire Lady duties begin immediately’, that is what your advisor told me.” 

Zuko watched you as you explained, remaining silent and observant. “I would have to give up travel and remain here in the situation that the Fire Lord is unavailable, I would have to be the saving face, I wouldn’t be able to-to see my father or help with missions that you are on, I would simply be a wife, a lady, made to produce heirs… that's not me Zuko!”

You were slightly out of breath from your rant, a bubble rising in your throat as you spoke. Zuko didn’t move toward you this time. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

You laughed bitterly at that, “Because I know you Zuko, you would have left the throne, your responsibilities, I couldn't, no I wouldn’t let you do that.” You looked down “Not for me.” You didn’t allow yourself to feel trapped by this, you said nothing more as you swiftly exited the cupboard. You weren’t going to let Zuko crawl in again and you were certainly not going to make him choose between his nation and you. 

—

Later in the evening Zuko was finally able to retire. He trudged to his room exhausted from socialising all day. During his walk he noticed that he passed by where you were staying and considered knocking on your door. He stopped in front of the door and raised his hand but before he could make contact with the large door he paused and dropped his hand back to his side before continuing onto his room now filled with an unknown sadness which tugged at his heart within his chest. 

“Fire Lord”  a guard bowed as he noticed Zuko nearing his room. Zuko waved him off tiredly before noticing the small box he held. 

“What’s that?” He questioned, the guard looked at him. 

“A birthday present sir, from Princess Y/n” Zuko’s heart leaped at hearing your name. “She gave strict instructions not to open this until next week sir” he explained. 

“Why?” Zuko knew the reason but he wanted to hear it out loud. 

“She wanted you to open it on the day of your actual birthday.”

Zuko took the small box from him before dismissing the guard for the night. He looked at it carefully, his name was written on the top in your delicate handwriting forcing a smile to creep its way onto his face. 

—

The rest of your stay seemed to pass by in a blur, You and Zuko said nothing more to each other but still remained on a level of civility in the professional, royal way you both always did. It frustrated your friends entirely, especially when Katara would catch Zuko with his eyes on you for a tad longer than was necessary, or when Toph would feel you slowly inching your hand closer and closer to Zuko’s during dinner together one night. Clearly the decision for your split wasn’t something either of you wanted and it was clear to everyone that you were made for one another. 

When it came to your departure you were overwhelmed with sadness. You didn’t know the next time you would all be together and even though you hadn’t entirely worked things through with Zuko, you still felt like you had a fun week.

Zuko approached the group, his hand placed calmly at his back as his royal advisor followed him, five paces behind. 

“Zuko!” You said, your voice practically melting into his ears forcing a wide grin onto his face as he watched you reach out to hug him, his own arms opening to embrace you. 

“I’m coming with you” He spoke quietly to you in your ear. You shot back from him, concern littered your features. 

“Wh-what?” You stuttered out, “What about your duties here?” His arms still remained around you, he wanted to hold you for as long as possible and you wanted that too but you quickly remembered where you were and released him. You quickly glanced over to your friends, each of them had a cheeky expression slapped onto their faces. 

“My chamberlains have been briefed to deal with the nation in my absence and the Avatar will be lengthening his stay should anything arise.” Zuko spoke professionally, “I have business with Chief Arnook specifically, my advisor will be joining.” he motioned to his advisor who stood behind him, he gave you a simple nod. Before you looked over at Aang who stood proudly with a comically large smile on his face, you were worried they all knew something you didn’t

“What business?” you narrowed your eyes at Zuko and he shook his head, the smile still gracing his face.

“That is between me and the chief.” he stated definitively, you simply had no choice but to comply, you turned from him swiftly.

“You have your own ship?” You spoke over your shoulder as you began to board. 

“Actually I was hoping to join you, my advisor will travel on one of our own ships.” You turned to look down at him from the ramp, his eyes looked so sweet, so hopeful, but you still didn’t like where this was going. 

“Fine” was all you said before you turned back around, with your back facing him Zuko shot his friends a quick thumbs up who all returned it, except Toph of course, before he followed you onto the ship. 

—

You stood, once again, on the top deck of your ship The wind grew sharper as you neared the North Pole. It was so different to the rest of the world, that became a blinding fact to you on your travels. No matter where you went, how far you only thought of returning to one place, somewhere that never left your mind.

“Cold up here huh?” Zuko interrupted your thoughts as he joined you on the deck. “I don't think I've been up here since-” he cut himself short as he remembered not wanting to bring up thoughts of your older sister. You simply gazed at the water, you never stopped thinking about her. 

“Since the Fire Nation invaded.” You finished for him and he looked up at you, resting back against the railing that you were facing. 

“Yeah”

You huffed, turning to meet his eye, Zuko had hardly given you a moment of peace since you both set off, his constant presence was beginning to get irritating and the fact that you didn’t know why he was here angered you more. 

“What are you doing here Zuko?” You asked, he casually lit a small flame in his palm, using it to heat his hands. 

“What do you mean? I’m talking to you” He shrugged, he was playing dumb and you had no time for it.

“No, Zuko, you know what I mean.” Even though there was such malice in your voice Zuko knew that he would never get sick of hearing his name fall from your lips, the way you said in such an angelic tone just set his heart aflutter, He would happily spend the rest of his life pretending to forget his own name just so he could hear you say it over and over again.

He put out the small flame and turned to face the ocean, just like you were. You didn’t miss how close he stood to you, how comfortable he seemed in your presence.”You know my uncle would teach me a lot, not just train me but how to accept the spiritual world, the world around us and how we all play a part in the great balance.” You listened intently, where was he going with this? “He also taught me about the people of the Water Tribes, how you change with the movements of the ocean, push and pull with the tides, at the time I believed it to be spiritual nonsense but then I saw it, in you.” He tore his eyes from the vast ocean to look at you, “The most stubborn person I know, changed, to trust me, to love me.” He grasped your hand and placed it against his chest.”NowI know, I must do the same.”

You looked up at him, making no effort to move your hand, what exactly was his business with your father? And why was he being so cryptic?

Zuko simply leaned forward to kiss your head, before he left you, alone with nothing but the warmth of his presence left behind.

The minute you had reentered the Northern Water Tribe you had half expected to be bombarded by your councilmen on everything you had missed and everything your father was unable to do but much to your surprise there was no one awaiting your arrival at the dock except for your cousin. 

“Riuk!” You exclaimed pulling her into a tight hug which she happily returned. 

“Y/n” her smile wide, "There's someone I would like you to meet, " she looked to her left as her husband walked over, clutching a small child wrapped in a delicate light blue shawl.

“She is beautiful!” You gasped as soon as you saw her, reaching forward to tickle the small baby’s cheek which provoked a small smile from her, “Do you have a name?”

Riuk shared a glance with her husband before speaking, “We have an idea, but I wanted to share it with you first.” You finally dragged your gaze from the baby and looked at your cousin, concerned by her tone but urged her to go on. “The birth was complicated and long and well we were unsure if I or the baby would survive but the night of her birth, during the full moon, we prayed to the spirits and-”

“The spirits save her.” You finished, a smile making its way to her face, 

“We would like to name her Yue” Ruik spoke and you pulled her into a tight hug once more, tears of joy threatening to spill. Once you pulled back from your cousin, overjoyed, you noticed her gaze drift, she quickly leaned into you whispering. “Who is that?” 

You turned to follow her gaze, landing upon the Fire Lord, standing on the deck as he watched your reunion. You had such a way with people, you lit up with every person you spoke to, always listened and never made anyone feel alone. This time was no different and it was a trait he used to see fit for a Fire Lady.

You turned back to your cousin before stepping aside as Zuko made his way down the ramp. 

“Riuk, may I introduce Fire Lord Zuko, Zuko, this is Princess Riuk, my cousin and 3rd in line for the throne.”

Zuko presented a deep bow toward your cousin. “ It is an honour, Princess.” He said, you were caught off guard by his formalities, he had abandoned them for you a long time ago. 

“The pleasure is all mine, my Lord” Riuk returned, giving him a small smile.

“And who is this?” Zuko asked, the whining baby beside her catching his attention.

Riuk slowly grasped her child from her husband, holding her out towards the Fire Lord, “May I present, for the first time in her life, Princess Yue.” Zuko’s eyes quickly flashed to you, you had a wide grin on your face as you watched the baby gurgle and laugh at Zuko. 

“What a beautiful name.” Zuko said softly and Riuk smiled at him. All of a sudden Baby Yue gazed upwards and burst into tears, causing Zuko to flinch back in panic. “I-i’m sorry, my scar-” He was well aware of how his scar looked to children and he often wondered if his own would fear it.

“No!” Riuk quickly reassured, “It must just be feeding time.” she gave Zuko a smile and bowed before turning to you. 

“Your father awaits your audience in the council hall” You nodded, giving her a small smile before she left.  You gulped hard out of fear of what waited for you in that hall, what Zuko would need to talk to your father about. Zuko reached forward, placing a light hand on your lower back. 

“Shall we?” You nodded even if you weren’t sure if you were ready, but from what you could feel from Zuko’s hand on your back was that he was positively giddy. 

—

“My dear! It is lovely to see your face. I trust there were no hardships on your journey?” Your father boomed as you entered the council hall. 

You bowed in greeting as he spoke. You glanced over your shoulder at the mention of hardships, at Zuko. But you decided to say nothing.

“Of course not father, smooth sailing.” You reassured him.

Your father grinned, before turning to the man behind you. “Fire Lord Zuko.”

He stepped forward and bowed, taking a place beside you  “Chief Arnook”. 

“From your letters you seemed to imply that this was a matter of urgency, no?” Your father sat high up, dripping with regality, it was the type of Aura you hoped to one day achieve but as someone who was thrown into this life, who wasn’t made for it you knew there was no way you would be able to command a room the way your father did. The way Yue did, at times you felt guilty for your position, this is where she should be, what she trained for, not you. 

Zuko nodded, “Yes, your highness.” He turned to one of his servants who stepped up the stairs to your father at a mind numbingly slow pace. He presented an intricate mahogany box, detailed with carvings of Fire Nation and Water Tribe symbols together. Your father reached forward and opened the box, examining its contents. You looked at Zuko, confused,  who was standing with a large smile adorning his face, he quickly looked at you before turning back to your father. 

“You father, stared down inside the box, thinking, contemplating and after what felt like an eternity he looked up from it and at you. Your gaze, however, was fixed on Zuko, which seemed to settle things in your father’s mind. He waved off the Fire Nation boy before turning to Zuko. 

“Let us speak in private”  He gestured to a small door off to your left and Zuko nodded as he turned to his advisor. Your father pushed out a small groan as he struggled pushed himself to stand, it took everything in you not to help him, knowing you would just get scolded as you did before but Zuko noticed. 

The chief held the door, allowing Zuko and his advisor to enter first. As you moved to join your father stopped you. “I’m sorry my dear, this must be done without you”

You scoffed at him, attempting to push past anyway “If it concerns the fate of my people then I must be involved. 

“Our people” your father corrected as he shook his head. “Now is not the time for your stubborness, this is final Y/n”

You huffed at him but ultimately listened, you knew better than to challenge him after something had been deemed final. So you turned, allowing them to close themselves in the small space and you moved to sit patiently, although you probably looked more like a defiant child, on the steps of the hall.  

After waiting for what seemed to be forever, you heard the click of a door handle. You stood up quickly, your vision going briefly fuzzy from the speed before you made your way over to the small office. Zuko alone exited the warm light from the room escaping from behind his silhouette. You watched your father and his advisor expectantly as they remained seated behind him. 

“Whats going on?” You asked as you looked up at Zuko, he simply smiled at you before he slipped his large, warm hand into your own. 

“Come with me.” He led you out the large hall, you should have swatted his hand away and demanded to know what they had discussed. What fate they decided for the future of your people, but there was something in Zuko, in his gaze, the way he held you felt so familiar you had no choice but to trust him.

Before you knew it you were both entering the spirit oasis of your home, your worries seemed to fade in the peaceful environment as you placed yourself down by the small pool. You mindlessly teased the water by the edge of the grass as you watched the two fish swim side by side. 

“They both need the other to keep the peace. They are equals in this life and will be in the next” Zuko spoke as he sat beside you, his eyes trained on the spirits before him.

You looked up at him, “Since when did you become so spiritual?”

He stared ahead, “I’ve had a lot of time to think.” You nudged him lightly, forcing a smile to creep onto his face as he looked at you, “alright, my uncle taught me a lot.” he said defensively. 

“Opposites that balance the other out.” you said as you glanced at the fish before looking back at Zuko, your worries were slowly creeping their way back in as you saw the nervous look on his face. 

“This is where we first met, when I was a beautiful young prince.” he joked, trying to ease the tension and you laughed. 

“Bald young prince you mean.”

“Hey! I rocked that look!” You rolled your eyes at him but still had a smile on your face. 

Your laughter faded and Zuko’s eyes became serious once more, “Y/n” he grasped your hand. “You mean so much to me, not only that but to our friends, your family, your people.” He sighed as he looked out to the spirits once more, your hand still in his while he thought deeply. “I’ve learnt a lot these past months, years even. You have taught me a lot. That's why I wanted to give you this.”

He released your hand to reveal the small detailed box from earlier. You watched him curiously as he opened the box, allowing you to look inside. You gasped as you saw the contents. Inside there lay a small necklace, it was woven with a mixed hue of the most beautiful red and blue satin you had ever seen, the charm in the centre was a striking sapphire blue with the emblem of your people carved into it and a few small rubies scattered across it to imitate stars. It was the most breathtaking piece of jewellery you had ever seen, but you couldn’t accept it. 

“Zuko, what is this?” You asked, your heart heavy.

As if he read your mind, Zuko lifted his hand to hold your cheek. “I know I have been pushing my culture on you, the pressures of being a future Fire Lady have not come easy but I understand now.” Tears welled in your eyes as he explained, “You are Princess of the Northern Water Tribe and my Fire Lady, two halves that keep the balance intact. My love, with this betrothal necklace I humbly ask you to be my wife, my other half and help me keep peace and love prospering in this world.”

Your tears were flowing freely now as you struggled to speak but Zuko worked to erase any thoughts of doubt within you. “If you are willing, my darling, I have the blessing of your father, with our discussion you are free to travel between nations however much you like, you’ll have your own space to run Water Tribe affairs and I will willingly be by your side to help you run your nation and I wish you to be at mine. We can do this together.”

There was nothing you could say, Zuko is willing to change the laws, the traditions that have been set in the Fire Nation for generations simply so he could love you for the rest of your lives. You leapt forward at him, wrapping your arms around him tightly as he immediately grasped your torso, slightly thrown back by the force at which you jumped at him.

“Yes! Zuko of course I will!” You spoke, still wrapped around him. You felt Zuko exhale a large sigh of relief as he pulled back from you. Slowly he pulled your hair to the side before clasping the necklace on for you. You touched the charm, cool on your neck as you turned back to him. 

Slowly you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his. He was warm and soft as he physically melted into the kiss, placing his hands on either side of your face as he savoured the feeling of your lips on his. He knows now that he will love you for eternity in every lifetime and he will never tire of kissing you.

When you eventually pulled back you both grinned wide, “I’ll be your man, yours only, forever”

—

Please interact and let me know what you thought! <3

[0angel-tears0]

Fire, Pain and Love

Zuko x Fem!Waterbender Reader

Word Count: 3.9K

A/N: Taking a break from my James fic to write this because GAH DAMN. Those animators made my childhood crush OLDER than me again, I am losing my mind.

PSA - I haven't seen the leak, I support artists and their art but I also hate Paramount so I'm real conflicted about it.

Summary: When you're injured during a fight you witness Zuko's harsh, tempered side. He doesn't know how to express his concern and you don't like being told what to do.

Warnings: Angsty? I guess, Zuko is a lil mean but he makes up for it, established relationship.

---

You’re not quite sure how you managed to clamber up onto the tall rooftops of the imperial city, you imagined it was from the rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins as you chased down an Ozai sympathiser. 

This wasn’t even meant to be a mission, the gaang just happened to be visiting casually in the city, checking out the sights, meeting old friends. You had spent more time in the city than most and knew your way around well. After a week with your friends you decided to take some time alone, you browsed a nearby market in the open sun, one you loved to visit because of how it overflowed with an abundance of different foods and spices from all over the nations, and the fact that very few people recognised you there didn’t hurt. That was until Sokka was pushing towards you screaming your name a few people making room for him while most looked at him like a crazy man (which isn’t unusual for him). He had worked himself up so much that by the time he reached you he was panting too much to actually speak. You just waited patiently, almost chuckling at his state. 

“Disturbance… firebenders… hurting citizens… Ozai” was all he managed to stutter out but it  was enough for you to understand as you quickly pushed past him and made toward the direction he came. 

You came up to a small square surrounded by tall buildings blocking the sun from reaching all the corners. A group of masked men surrounded an elderly man and young woman. As a large crowd looked on, you quietly observed the interaction, waning around the people and urging them to leave, you sensed it could get messy. 

“He didn’t mean anything by it! Please, grandfather apologise.” The young woman cried as she gripped onto the stern looking old man. 

A larger masked man stepped towards them, his fists clenched the elders collar, shaking in rage, “Ozai was our true Fire Lord! Not that petulant child!” he shouted. The older man hardly reacted, angering the masked man more.

You had heard of a few of Ozai’s followers becoming a bit more vocal, but never violent and never organised like this. Usually they would stick to the shadows, put up posters they would never come out in full force and in uniform, something about this situation uneases you as you stand guard, ready for the fight.

The man raised his free fist incoming steam boiling off it as the two citizens braced. Before he could bring it down you had uncorked your pouch at the speed of light, reaching forward and hooking the man's raised wrist, bringing it back and slamming him down into the ground, the force of which knocked him out cold.

The rest of the group turned to the disturbance caused and thank the spirits Sokka had finally caught up. “The others?” you asked, poised and ready.

“On their way” he replied, the air back in his lungs now as he grabbed his boomerang from his back. Just as he finished you noticed a flash of orange in the sky, Aang.

A brave man lurched forward to you, fists red hot as he shot blazes at you. You managed to deflect quickly, using your water to whip at him creating some distance. Sokka had also leaped into the brunt of it taking on a few. What you both missed was a man blasting towards you, you were occupied with your back turned and the blast was on course for a direct hit. Zuko dropped through just in time, smashing his leg through and diverting the blaze into a small nearby fountain, causing it to crumble. 

You turned at the commotion only to come into contact with Zuko. “Careful” he spoke quickly as he held your face in his hands doing a speedy check for harm that he always does. You simply gave him a small nod of acknowledgement and got back to it, you didn’t want him to interfere like he usually does or even get hurt because he was too distracted by keeping you out of harms way. With Katara and Toph’s help you had managed to apprehend most of the men.

Toph stood before the small group who sat with their arms firmly fastened behind their backs. She dusted her hands before throwing an arm over your shoulders, you were both left to keep a close eye on the men. “You guys could have put up some of a fight!” she mocked, the main guy (or who you believed was the leader) scoffed at her.  Katara and Aang were attending to any possibly injured bystanders and Sokka started the clean up duty with Zuko. 

“Since when does the ‘Fire Lord’ get involved in common crime?” He spat out, you didn’t much appreciate the way he mocked the Fire Lord and moved to shut him up before a voice stopped you.

“Since that crime threatens my people.” Zuko retorted from behind you both with an aura of regality you had never seen on him before. 

“We’re your people too!” another man spoke up, Zuko refused to reply which left Toph to speak up.

“That’s why we won’t kill ya!” They all stopped talking at that. Something about the situation seemed odd to you though, this attack was too organised and centred to be taken down so easily. Your neck felt hot like there was a single beam burning into it. You turned to see if there was a cause or if it was just paranoia but right behind you, up on the rooftops in front of the pale sun sat a figure, crouching and masked just as these men were, although this one seemed a bit more intricate than the common balaclavas the detained men wore. 

The figure noticed you noticing them and quickly jumped up leaping to another rooftop and away. You said nothing and sprang into action using your water to propel you up to the roof and beginning the chase, ignoring all the calls of your name, this has to be them, if you could just catch this guy you could definitely get some answers. Toph moved to follow you but Zuko stopped her, “Stay here and watch” he commanded, causing her to go still as he took off after you.

So, here you were leaping across the rooftops and sliding across the tiles all the while cursing yourself, how could you be so stupid? Of course that guy wasn’t the leader, just a short conversation with him proved that. You should have been on the look out sooner, caught this mastermind sooner, listened to your gut.

You felt a heat blaze past your torso, just missing burning your skin but close enough to feel the heat, you were in casual clothes, a short vest top and trousers of course they weren’t really battle clothes but it’s not like you were expecting a fight. You continued your chase dodging the balls of fire launched at you as well as trying to stop houses from going up in flames. That was getting exhausting, especially in this heat, you couldn’t keep up chasing them across the whole city and your mind was running ten times fast to figure out how to cut them off. It was moving so quick, focusing on the chase that you didn’t notice Zuko up ahead.

“Y/N!” Zuko called, you didn’t know how long he had been following but he managed to make it in front of you both causing you to stop dead in your tracks on a narrow rooftop. 

The figure spotted Zuko long before he called out your name and didn’t hesitate; they immediately raised their fist at the Fire Lord, injecting it with heat. “Zuko!” You called out, he was too focused on you, he wouldn’t be able to defend in time, their fist was already bursting with flames you had to act now. 

You whipped your water out around their ankle and yanked hard, the figure dropped and face planted but didn’t allow a moment of respite as they whipped over to face you, their fist still ignited, they shot out a blaze and a searing pain exploded across your shoulder and you lost your balance completely you water releasing their ankle and trickling down the tiles of the roof, you dropped from the height and plummeted into the streets below. You heard your name being called but your vision had instantly gone black from the pain long before your spine collided with the hard concrete. 

---

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Zuko stormed into your room, fury burning in his eyes. 

You rolled your eyes at his demeanor, you of all people were well aware of how steamed he could get. “I’m fine,” you replied from the edge of the bed. You were not fine, it took you ten minutes to slither into this position.”Katara healed me, to question me is to question her skills.” 

Zuko scoffed, you were being a smart ass and he didn’t like it. “She couldn’t heal this though” He hastily grabbed your arm, a large scar escaped from under your vest to cover your shoulder and crawl up your neck. You snatched your arm back from his warm grip trying to hide the wince that the movement had caused, Zuko saw the wince and it confirmed your lies, you were not fine. “Jumping into the line of fire?! Do you have a death wish?!”

You looked down at your feet, “I’m fine”, you repeated, eyes watering as you just wished him to just leave you be, you would usually love to have time with Zuko but not when he gets like this, and you knew that this has more than just common concern attached to it. 

“You are unbelievable” He spoke low as he turned on his heel and stormed back out the way that he came. He had pushed the doors open with so much ferocity that he almost knocked out Katara who was on her way in for your next healing session. 

“Zuko! Are you okay?” She asked the Fire Lord who was basically steaming. 

“I’m fine!” He echoed your words from earlier as he disappeared down the hallway. 

Katara sighed, making a mental note to ask Aang to deal with him later as she knocked on your door. 

“Come in” You spoke softly from the other side. As Katara entered she saw you now laying on your back, your feet dangling off the edge of the bed, you were still healing and although you put on a brave face Katara could see that whatever interaction you just had with Zuko had taken a lot out of you. 

You felt the bed dip beside you as Katara took her place, She said nothing as she reached for the bowl of water at your bedside. You sighed as you felt the cool water envelop your shoulder, a sharp contrast to the burning sensation that Zuko had left behind. 

“Why is he like this?” you asked after a prolonged silence. 

“Zuko has always been a bit hot headed,” Katara replied calmly, focusing on her work. 

“But it’s just me, I don't see him go off at Aang or Sokka like that.” You sat up now, forcing Katara to move with you; it didn't bother her. She was very used to your inability to sit still, “Is it because I’m a waterbender? Or a woman?! I didn’t think that Zuko was that kind of guy but maybe over time…” You trailed off, not fully sure of your accusation as Katara chuckled at you. 

“Zuko isn’t that kind of guy, he just cares but doesn’t know how to express it. Especially with you.” She mumbled that last part but you heard it anyway.  “All done here today. You could also probably heal yourself from now.” 

“I’m not as good as you, especially with one hand” You said, it wasn’t a lie, you were always more of a fighter than a healer. In the northern water tribe you were never given a chance to fight until the Avatar arrived so out of protest you also refused to learn to heal and practiced yourself in secret. That was until your father was badly injured during the war and something about that experience seeing him hurt, barely able to move expect to call for your mother, that had pushed you into learning. Then the Avatar arrived before you really managed to learn, you met a strong, stubborn Katara, a funny, intelligent Sokka, and the rest was history. She became your teacher as well as Aangs and eventually your best friend. So no, it wasn’t a lie but what you didn’t tell Katara was that you really enjoyed your healing time together, it was so rare that you all had time for each other nowadays. 

You didn’t say that to Katara but she understood, as she always did. “Okay, a few more sessions but then you really have to heal on your own”. 

You sighed “Alright”. You’ll take what you can get. 

Katara stood, placing the bowl back in its place on your bedside. “Maybe leave this room today? You need to get out.” 

You rubbed your head, your last mission that resulted in your injury was a week ago, you had finally woken up 3 days ago and spending 4 days unconscious was wreaking havoc on your system. You refused to exit your temporary healing room, you hated feeling useless and you didn’t want to constantly be reminded of that..

Katara said nothing else as she left. 

---

Zuko had managed to find of time for training today, he was in his private courtyard taking in the heat of the sun as he relentlessly battered a training dummy. 

“How’s Y/N?” Aang spoke calmly, he had waited patiently before announcing his presence not wanting to startle the young Fire Lord out of fear of being accidentally burned with the way he was attacking that poor dummy.

“You would know” Zuko replied sternly, like he knew Aang had been there for a while. 

Unfortunately for the both of them Sokka was also there, direct, sometimes rash, Sokka. “Hey, it’s not Aang's fault he’s checked in on your girlfriend more than you have.” Exactly, rash. 

Zuko sighed, “I just don’t know why she never listens! I always say ‘be careful’ ‘don't chase’, ‘think ahead’. But when it comes to it she just runs off and does what she wants anyway!”

Aang listened tentatively, his voice even as he spoke, “She’s strong willed”, he reasoned. 

Zuko, leaned on a stone wall, close to his friends, frustrated ”She’s going to get herself killed and if I’m not there-” His voiced wavered, “I can’t lose her”. 

“Y/N had traveled with us long before you joined Zuko” Sokka spoke, he was sometimes surprisingly reasonable. “She’s always known how to handle herself and maybe she’s not used to someone else doing it for her.”

Aang’s face scrunched in confusion but Zuko seemed to understand what his friend was poking at. 

“So I’m suffocating her?”

Sokka shook his head, “more like, containing…” he knitted his hands together to show some sort of a visual. Zuko thought on this, he never thought about how his interference could be the reason for your hurt, maybe he wasn’t trusting in you enough.

“See it like this” Aang began, he managed to get it now but still wanted to keep Zuko level headed enough so he can eventually talk it out with you. “Firebenders can draw power from a comet right? If the first firebender to discover that was told to slow down and not use their potential you guys probably wouldn’t have discovered that until hundreds of years later” he explained. 

Zuko had never thought of it like that, how what he thought was concern is something that you saw as something that dampened your ability to aid during missions, he’d never told you about his deepened fear of losing you so how would you see it as anything other than him just babying you? He felt a pang in his chest as he reminded himself of the was he spoke to you earlier and he wanted to smack himself for letting his temper get the better of him. 

“I need to talk to her” Zuko grabbed his vest and slipped it on before leaving the courtyard and making his way to your room. 

---

The floor of the palace was cool against your bare feet, a stark contrast to the heat of the oncoming summer that had leaked its way into your room. 

You had decided to take up Katara’s advice and get out of that stuffy room, she was usually right anyway. That last healing session left you feeling a lot better than you had in days. Everyone had come to see you when you awoke, Aang and Katara were the first, then Toph, then Sokka then… today was the first day you had seen Zuko. Katara told you he didn’t leave your bedside while you were out but you had a hard time believing her. 

You had never really explored this palace before, you had hardly stayed in one place so long. Especially with everyone, you’ve spent many a night camping under the stars alone, missing the days when you all used to camp together, finding joy in the circumstances you were all in as kids.

You didn’t think everyone would stay long, you never wished them to. Last you heard from Katara was that Aang was in and out with Avatar things, Toph left with him just a few hours ago for his latest mission. Sokka stayed though, taking a quiet place in the background of a few of Zuko’s meetings.

“Sokka? Quiet?” You chuckled out.

“I know, I know, he can be attentive when he needs to be,” Katara laughed with you. 

So here you were, wandering the palace, alone. It was very…red. The mixing of so many different shades just screamed fire nation. It wasn’t until you pushed open the two huge doors of a banquet hall that you were struck. The hall was glittering in sunlight, two gigantic round windows sat at the top of the hall which allowed the sunlight to beam in unapologetically. It made the hall look so alive as it bounced off the red walls causing them to glow in the light. 

“This is usually a space for royal weddings” You jumped at the voice. Behind you, just shy of the large doors in the small shadows that traced the walls stood the Fire Lord himself, leaning on a pillar that reached so high up you thought it would reach the sky. 

“It’s beautiful” You replied. Looking back from him and around the room. 

Zuko watched you, basking in the sunlight. For someone who comes from a land of ice and snow you seemed most at home in the sun and you looked absolutely gorgeous. He approached you slowly, sometimes he was so unsure about your mood but he wanted to be close to you to apologise. 

You felt his presence behind you, he was so close you could feel the heat from his body. “I’m sorry” he said as he brought a hand up to lightly graze your arms, almost wincing as he felt the bumps of your scar. You should be mad at him but you couldn’t help but lean into his touch, feeling his chest against your back as he rested his head atop yours. “When you fell off that roof…” He exhaled, “that was the most fear I’ve ever felt in my life Y/N” He wrapped his arms around your shoulders.

You said nothing, you were thinking and Zuko swore he could hear the cogs tinking in your head. His chest felt heavy. “I love you” He said, he knew he loved you from the moment you met but he had never felt it as strongly as he did now. He said it laced with the fear of what it felt like to almost lose you.

You twisted in his arms, you rested your head on his chest as you wrapped your arms around him, his heart was beating fast. “I love you too” You felt his breath of relief as his chest dipped and wrapped his arms around you squeezing tighter while placing a soft kiss on the top of your head. 

“I’m sorry too.” You said, causing Zuko to pull back to look at you. 

“For what my love?”

“I was careless, I shouldn’t have chased but when I saw him lift that hand… I just… I didn’t want… like before” You looked up at him, almost choking trying to hold back tears as you thought back to his Agni Kai, how useless you felt in that situation as you watched Katara heal him.

Zuko seemed to understand, he placed a hand on your cheek and leaned down to kiss you softly. Your eyes fluttered shut feeling his lips on yours after so long felt like heaven, when he finally released you he rested his forehead on yours. “I know” was all he said, eyes still shut. It was rare that you both had moments like this, with both of your busy schedules, you wished you could stay in this moment forever and Zuko wished so too. 

But that would never happen, “There you are!” Sokka exclaimed from the open doorway, Zuko cursed himself for not shutting that door earlier. “Alright, you guys can smoochy smooch later! We have a meeting with your advisor” Sokka said as he placed a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. 

Zuko turned away from you slightly, still keeping a firm grip around your waist. “You know what Sokka? Why don’t you take this one for me?” 

“What?” Sokka looked shocked, with a glint of excitement in his eyes. 

“Yeah, you’ve sat in on enough of my council meetings, just tell him something came up and you’ll be taking information for me” Zuko gave him a quick smile and eventually Sokka nodded.

“Okay yeah, I can do this!” Sokka was fully excited now, “I’m the Fire Lord.” He puffed out his chest while he attempted to mimic Zuko causing you to laugh and your boyfriend to roll his eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah” he said and Sokka made his way out of the room quickly. 

You, still laughing, looked up at Zuko, “Can you do that?” 

Zuko wrapped his arms back around you, giving you another sweet kiss, “He’ll probably just talk about marriage and heirs, that's all he seems to do” he said, you laughed more at the idea of Sokka trying to sit through that meeting. 

“Oh? And who’s going to be the lucky young lady?” you teased him. Zuko pretended to think.

“Probably some noble Fire Lady.” You smacked his arm which made him chuckle, “okay! Okay! I have someone in mind, but only if she’ll have me also.” He leaned down to give you another kiss as he pulled you closer to him but you stopped him before his lips could reach yours.

“Is that a proposal your majesty?” Although your tone was mocking, Zuko still felt a shiver in his spine at the title. 

“Of course not, my proposal will be so extravagant, you won’t see it coming!” He spun you causing you to hold onto his shoulders as you squealed in delight. 

He placed you down and gazed over your features, his beauty. Zuko leaned down and placed another kiss on your lips, slow, long, one you gratefully accepted.

“I’m yours,” he said, speaking in a low tone. “Forever”.

---

Thanks for reading! Pls interact I loooove it <3

[yawnzshit]

i am not okay actually. gnawing on the bars of my enclosure rn.

[0angel-tears0]

Music to my Ears V

James Potter x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your and James' constant bickering finally come to a head, but will either of you be able to get it together long enough to work it all out?

Word Count: 3.9k

A/N: This whole fic is becoming very long, hope you guys are still enjoying it though!

---

One Month Later

You guys didn’t get a gig at the three broomsticks, as you had predicted. You stood next to Marlene as you both broke the news to your friends. Drew and Gareth already knew of course, but Sirius in particular was very excited to be your number 1 groupie (and probably to help himself to as much butterbeer as he could while you all set up). You had grown quite close with the group over the beginning of your year, of course you and James had your blowouts, his off handed comments causing a stir of rage inside you and the frustration of not being able to get through to you  now taking its toll with every argument you both had, he really did think he was getting somewhere but then it would all fuck up. 

“There’ no easy way to say this” Marlene started wringing her hands nervously.

You sighed at her hesitation, “We didn’t get the gig”

“WHAT?”” Sirius stood from his seat in shock, nearly knocking pete who was minding his business while sat on the floor. You rolled your eyes at his reaction, you’ve come to learn that he is a very dramatic man. Your attitude hid your disappointment. You knew you wouldn’t get the gig but you had some hope anyway. 

James scoffed  from the arm chair as he lazily twirled his wand, he had been distant and cold towards you since that night. You tried to talk to him but you couldn’t understand why he had been so affected by your comment. It got to a point where you had just settled into the idea that you would never see eye to eye and gave up trying to make contact with planet James. 

Your head snapped over to him. “Something to add, Potter?” You said, coming out snarkier than you had intended. James opened his mouth to retort but Mary interrupted.

“Guy please? For five minutes?!” She was getting sick of your arguing, all of them were beginning to believe that there was actually nothing there and you both genuinely didn’t like each other. 

James slinked back into his chair and you huffed turning back to your friends. “We are sorry to disappoint you guys but we knew it wasn’t likely” Marlene explained, the only one who looked actually upset about the news was Sirius, your friends were upset for you guys but you thought they could care less. At least unlike someone they all managed to keep up a facade. 

“You’ll be fine guys, there's plenty of places to perform.” Lily comforted, rubbing a hand on Sirius’ back as he sat with his head in his hands next to her, she was most likely attempting to comfort him with her words more than you guys

Remus, who was on the other side of Sirius, was attempting to refrain from laughing at the state of him had suddenly lurched forward, the idea popped into his head so obviously you swore you saw the light bulb above his head. “Yeah! Like the Hogs Head? They’ve had bands on before so why not ask there?”

James huiffed a laugh at the idea “Yeah they’ll take anyone” You turned to James once more not appreciating the attitude in his voice. 

“Well I don't see you helping with any ideas, or are you really not as fantastic as you think you are Potter?” 

James had stood now coming face to face with you, “Here’s and Idea give up” You were seething now, fists clenching as you refrained from socking him one right then and there, you hated how much he got under your skin, how quickly he could anger you  and your friends could feel it.

“You are such an entitled -”

“How about we try it on Halloween?” Marlene placed a soft hand on your shoulder trying to ease the tension which had suddenly arisen. This statement caused Sirius to abruptly stand once again as he made his way between you and Marlene wrapping his arms around both of your shoulders. 

“Absolutely! As your band manager I say that it is a brilliant idea!” he squeezed  you both into him with excitement. “We can make it a party, and have a proper theme! We’ll show the three broomsticks what they’re missing they’ll basically beg for you to perform there” You chuckled at Sirius as you released yourself from his grip and took his place on the sofa

Mary piped up, at least someone was excited by the idea “Yes and we can get people to dress up! We could do a group costume like scooby doo!” You and Mary chuckled at her idea while the boys looked mildly confused.

“Mary, we have way too many people to do Scooby doo” You explained.

“Okay well I just wanted to be Daphne anyway” she mumbled as she slumped back in her chair

“Can someone explain what the fuck scooby doo is?” James asked, exasperated by the conversation, it's like you were all speaking a foreign tongue.

“Um.. a cartoon?” Lily tried to explain, “About like a group of teenage ghost detectives… and their detective dog i guess?” Lily looked at you to confirm, you were leant back into Remus, his arm around the back of the sofa behind you. You simply shrugged rather amused by her explanation. “The dogs called Scooby Doo” she looked at Sirus and James as the rest of you giggled at her. 

Sirius decided he was not that bothered and brushed it off, “Okay whatever, still great Idea We’ll get everyone to dress up, like a detective ghost dog or whatever else they want.”. 

You chuckled at the idea of a detective dog as everyone began to discuss halloween costumes. You had no idea what you could wear, thinking back to your wardrobe, you could be really ironic and dress as a witch but you thought more people wouldn’t get that than they would, and someone might be offended so it would probably be best to steer clear. You would also have to wear something you could play and move around in, you didn’t have much time either so you guys really had to get the ball rolling on this.

“Okay how about we talk to Hogs Head at the weekend, Marls?” You spoke directly to Marlene, everyone else continued to discuss, she nodded, agreeing this need to be confirmed first before Sirius started inviting half the school. 

“Yeah I can let the boys know”, James’ head shot up at this, he had sat quietly until he heard the mention of the rest of your band. 

“Well, why don't we all go?” James looked at you with a smug smirk plastered across his face. 

You rolled your eyes at him, “ and why would you need to be there?” James fumbled slightly, trying to think of a quick answer. 

“Er, see, Sirius is your band manager is he not?” He motioned to Sirius who looked utterly confused as to why his name was being dragged into this. 

“He is not” You shot back, Sirius placed a hand on his chest and mocked the hurt but didn’t say anything (thankfully).

“And Halloween is basically upon us!” he mocked, theatrically, “we need to find decent costumes” Mary looked over to you, breaking your stare down of James. 

“True, Y/N I don't think I have anything I could wear”, James threw his legs over the arm of the chair he was sat and placed his hands behind his head like a smug prick. 

You huffed, “Ugh fine but we will talk to the hogs head, and don't make it seem like it will be a massive party, I doubt they would want to clean up after a bunch of drunk students” You pointed at each one of them, your accusatory finger lingering on Sirius and James more than the others. 

-

The weekend had finally rolled around and the day you were dreading finally reared its ugly head, Sirius did not keep his promise and had already invited a shit load of people, of course making it seem massive.

“Relax Y/N, I obviously had to invite Gryffindor” Sirius waltzed around the common room handing out flyers he had Lily and Remus design for the party. They were a maroon colour, just a few shades darker than the Gryffindor red with ‘HOGS HEAD HALLOWEEN’  written in bright white across the top. You couldn’t lie it was eye catching. 

“The whole house Sirius?!” He was truly unbelievable.

Sirius simple shrugged and replied, “You know we’re a close house” You rolled your eyes but decided to stop following him, instead you watched as he swept around the room, carelessly tossing flyers and watching how everyone ate it up, if it was a marauder party then it was going to be big and you were foolish to ask anything of them otherwise, Sirius especially. 

As you stood watching a pair of hands crept up on your shoulders, giving them an affirmative squeeze. “It’ll be fine Y/N” You recognised the voice instantly and relaxed into the arms. You looked up over your shoulder at the auburn haired man behind you.

“We don’t even know if we have the gig yet Gareth” You sighed as you turned to face him fully now.

His hand remained on your shoulders as if he was about to shake this negativity from you “so if we don’t get it we’ll just go to a sick party at the Hogs Head” You rolled your eyes but chuckled slightly, feeling instantly relaxed by his presence. “I know you’re stressed, there's a lot on, but just relax, for this one night”

You met his eyes, looking up at him, he was so optimistic and full of hope, it made you feel slightly sick. You nodded slightly at him and a wide smile spread across his face. He pulled you in for a hug which you gladly accepted. “Thanks G” You mumbled into his chest which you could feel vibrate with his laughter.

“Come on” he pulled away, “lets find the others and get to Hogsmeade before the pub hears about the party they’re supposedly hosting.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you returned the affection wrapping one around his waist as you allowed him to guide you out the common room and towards the great hall. 

- 

“I’m not handing out free booze”

“Oh we’re not asking for free booze Geraldine, we just want to play here” Drew argued back, he’d been going back and forth with the pub owner who, to no one's surprise, he knew quite well. He was a charismatic man Drew, always saying hello to someone, nodding his head, complimenting people. He was a lovable man and you knew it from the moment you had met, he reckoned it was the Irish element that reeled you in, you argued that it was because he almost knew how to sing and you guys needed a lead. Either way you were both grateful to have met each other

“Well, how’d you expect me to pay ya? Cause I’ll tell you this, you lot are not getting a sickle from me” Geraldine shot back accusingly. Drew groaned and rested his head on the bar to think before looking back up.

“Okay, we get booze.”

“OI” Sirius shouted from the corner he was sitting, with Pete and James by his side, Remus was not so  lucky to get out of shopping with the girls. Drew waved an arm behind his back at him to dismiss him, you turned to Sirius from your place next to Drew and gave him a slight nod to calm him. 

“Okay, us and our crew” he negotiated back, Geraldine’s face soured. “But! We perform here and everyone else, like all the students have to pay, double your rates all you like!” 

Geraldine thought it over, raising prices might be a good shout. Drew leaned across the bar to hold her hand as he looked up at her innocently. “Look, Geraldine, you know me and I am a man of my word” he clasped her hand within both of his. “It will be the party of the year! You will have loads of business and you’ll be showing the three broomsticks what they’re missing.”

The pub owner pulled her hand from Drews and sighed, “Oh alright” you all celebrated as Drew jumped up and you, Gareth, and Marlene jumped into his arms to celebrate. “But I’m raising my prices and you'll get a 5 drink maximum!” She interrupted the celebration but you were all undeterred.

“No worries Geraldine! You are a peach!” Drew exclaimed as he hurriedly grabbed his jacket and motioned to the boys to leave. 

“How many are ya anyways? For the drinks?” She shouted at you as you all made your way to the door pushed on by Drew who was the last out.

“Erm 10” He shouted back. “Thanks Geraldine love!” He spoke quickly, shutting the door to the pub before she could change her mind. The last thing you heard was her curses before you all rushed away from the small pub, hoping to not be chased by the owner. 

You were giggling with your friends about the situation, slightly exasperated by also in awe. “I can’t believe we have a gig at an actual pub!” Drew was laughing along with you.

“This time next year we’re in the big leagues”

“What? The three broomsticks?” Gareth shot out as you all chuckled at Drew but he still had the light of a dream in his eyes.

Behind the four of them Sirius walked with James, a smile on his face as he watched you all. James, however, was looking glumly at the ground. Pete had since abandoned them, not wanting to be around a miserable James again and would rather go shop with Moony as he had so lovingly put it. 

“Whats up with you?” Sirius nudged him as they walked. James simply shrugged, he didn’t respond because he didn’t know how. James didn’t know what was wrong with him, but Sirius had a feeling it had something to do with you. “Oi Drew!” Sirius summoned, you all stopped to look over “our dear Prongs here isn’t feeling well” Drew waltzed over with a new found confidence after their gig booking, out of all your bandmates James liked Drew the best, they were very similar in stature and personality and he found that they had grown quite close over the past month. Well he also liked Marlene, Gareth seemed somewhat tolerable so actually it was just you he didn’t like . 

”Aw, what's wrong Jim, my boy? You’re not happy for us?” Drew slung his arm over James’ shoulders almost knocking the both of them over and James couldn’t help but allow a small smile to creep up with the affection

“Course I am!” he replied

“Then I see no issue! Let's get drunk!” James whole heartedly laughed at that, his face fading as he looked up and  made eye contact with you, you had a wide smile on your face which had dropped the instant James had looked at you,

The group began to walk in the direction of the three broomsticks, Drew electing that if he were to walk back into the hogs head now Geraldine would probably have his balls. 

You stayed back slightly and watched James closely, who had now seemed to just sulk back into himself and stare at the ground again. 

You rolled your eyes at his childish behaviour, and decided to fight fire with fire. You walked towards some hedges and grabbed a medium sized stick, smiling cunningly you innocently skipped up to James.

“Hey James?” he turned to you behind him, “is this bigger or smaller than the stick that's shoved up your arse?” you were quite proud of that. James however, showed no sign of amusement (or even emotion at that) on his face. 

“Piss off Pinky” your shoulders had slumped at the nickname as you had dropped the stick. If James wanted to hurt you he succeeded, if he wanted to anger you to unfathomable levels of rage he had also succeeded at that, especially with the way he was smirking at you. 

“What the fuck!” you all but shouted at him, causing your friends ahead to stop and turn. The fucking terrible name which had followed you menacingly for years, one you thought you had finally escaped, one that your friends had no knowledge of, that shit nickname which had elicited so much trauma for years, the one that was the reason you had to move dorms. 

“You heard me” was all James had said, he was closer at this point, when he stepped closer you didn’t know. You were the picture of rage and James’ smirk was definitely not helping. You slowly closed your eyes and exhaled as you looked past James at your friends and gave them a smile. You put a finger up to them before looking back at James’ now confused face, You reached up, pinched his arm before grabbing his bicep, dragging  him away and out of sight down a nearby alleyway.

Your friends watched you disappear, hearing James distant pained ‘ows’ as he was dragged away. Sirius was the frist to speak, “Well, James is dead” he turned back to the group and clapped his hands together. “Pub?” they all nodded in agreement, “Pub”.

In the alleyway James had now been released as he rubbed the side of his head. “What the fu-” You didn’t even give him a second. 

“Right lets sort this out” James widened his eyes in surprise. “Now” you folded your arms over your chest

“Sort what Pinky?” James said, you held back from punching him in the face. 

“Stop calling me that” you said darky. 

“Why?”

“Because!” 

“Why does it bother you?”

“Piss off James!”

“Not until you tell me why”

“Fine!” You didn’t realise how loudly you had spoken until two passersby had jumped in alarm. You put your hand up and smiled in apology as James suppressed a laugh as he crossed his arms expectantly.

“That terrible name came after that fucking horrible prank you pulled, for years after people tortured me with it” you lifted your arm and presented the now fading scar on your left hand. James examined closely the long line of bumpy skin which ran from the tip of your pinky, down the side of your hand occasionally spilling over into the palm of your hand before disappearing with your wrist under your sleeve. Your hand felt hot as James touched it, his fingers tracing over the scar lightly. You didn’t know why you let him but you were so caught up in watching his reaction you didn’t realise how much your hand burnt from his touch until you pulled it away and the air around it seemed colder than usual. “Even though you moved on some of the older years decided to keep your horrible bullying going, I only really found peace after they left school” you confessed, no one around you knew this but you felt like something inside was compelling you to tell James, to make him feel what you felt. 

James, on the other hand, was distracted by how long he had gone without saying anything. How calm this conversation was made him feel… odd, but he wasn’t sure there was anything he could say. Of course he remembers that prank, your screams haunted him but he felt so tremendously bad that he did what any eleven year old would do, ignore it until it went away. 

He looked down as you spoke, his actions now weighing heavily on him as he realised that this wasn’t something that would just go away. He couldn't help but cat your hand once again as he reached forward and held it once more.

“I’m sorry” He looked up at you to find your eyes already looking into his, “I know, it’s too late, and I know there’s no way I could excuse…” he held up your hand, “this, but I just want you to know I am sorry,” James felt somewhat of a relief with his apology but he didn’t allow for a pat on the back yet, “I want to make it up to you, and show you, I want us to be better and not argue all the time”. 

You gave James a sweet smile “It can’t be good for the group” you giggled slightly attempting to lighten the mood, who knew you would be trying to cheer up James Potter. Even though James nodded his head he wanted to disagree, he wanted you to know that he wanted to be better for you, to make up for it all. 

“I want us to start again.” You shifted slightly unsure if he knew how difficult that would be for you, but James continued “Not completely, just from that night, you don’t have to forgive me but I won’t stop trying to make it up to you, just let me try… please” you were struck by the pleading desperation in his eyes and before you knew it you were nodding your head in agreement.

You didn’t realise how long you both remained like that before a passerby interrupted, “ah, young love” she was a white haired old woman with a sweet smile gracing her face. You and James jumped apart at the sound of her voice. “I remember when me and my Franklin were like you once” She said, you turned to her and gave her a sweet smile, not wanting to interrupt her reminiscing. 

James, however, decided to open his mouth “Oh come on! You’re still in your prime!” he exclaimed, causing the woman to go red. 

“Oh you kids!” she chuckled as she reached up and patted his cheek before continuing on her journey. 

You didn’t know what it was but watching James have this interaction caused something to flutter inside you, it could be embarrassment at being caught in such close proximity with him or the fact that neither of you denied being mistaken for a couple, or maybe it was the feeling of giving in and finally allowing him to show his worth. Either way you weren’t enjoying the feeling and needed to get out of there. Without a word you left the alleyway and made your way to the three broomsticks. James quickly noticed your absence and scrambled after you as he called your name. 

“Y/N Wait!” he stepped in front of you, causing you to stop in your tracks and look up at him, “You okay? If this is about being called a couple I’m sorry I didn’t want to break the poor dears heart” he explained as he looked at you with concern, worried he had already fucked it. Since when was James so caring?! It was like something had switched inside him and you couldn’t stand it. 

“I’m fine James, let’s go find the others before they think I’ve murdered you or something” You replied, although James didn’t believe you he let it go. The first step for him was letting it go and not pushing you (no matter how much he wanted to). 

“Yeah you would be the one to murder me” He joked as he stepped out of your way and you both continued towards the pub. 

“You know I could do it too, I have it all planned out.”

“Oh I have no doubt about that, love” 

[0angel-tears0]

Music to my Ears IV

James Potter x Fem!reader

Summary: James has his arse handed to him and is definitely not jealous.

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Heyyy... been a while... Soz guys I just haven't had that kick to write and I would rather write something I genuinely like than churn out something moderate. I defo be better from now though (maybe) :))))

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You cursed to yourself as you entered the classroom, thinking how stupid you could be to believe that James would actually be nice just for the sake of it. You quickly shuffled to your desk and slammed your bag down. “Hey! What's up?” Marlene jumped from next to you at your sudden movements. You said nothing, seething as you emptied your bag. Seconds after James entered, Marlene looked towards the door as her lips formed an ‘O’ shape in understanding while James made his way to you. 

“Y/n- “he started as you sat down, uncorking your ink. 

“Leave me alone James” You didn’t even look up at him. More students began to filter in speaking in low voices comparing the image of James at your desk now to him carrying your bag earlier. James simply sighed as he resigned himself to his own desk. 

The class settled eventually as the professor began the lecture. “Good afternoon. I know you are all excited and raring to go at the beginning of this term but…” The new teacher began the long spiel every one had done so far, about the importance of revision and exam results, you had zoned out for the better part of her speech.

“What did he do this time?” Marlene whispered to you as the teacher went on. You simply shrugged and did not want to put more thought into it right now. 

“Later” was all you had whispered back, you weren’t in the mood and you knew you would get all worked up again. 

“...That being said, lets get into it!” The teacher clapped as she got all the students out of their seats. “Everyone up!”. 

Confused, the students all stood leaving their desks, with a wave of her wand the desks scraped the floor as they moved to the sides of the classroom, a few students having to hop out of their way or risk being dragged to the wall with them. 

“Now” the teacher began, “Lets duel!” the students began to murmur indistinctly as James’ voice was heard over all of it. 

“What? Like second years?” He almost scoffed at the notion as the professor nodded enthusiastically.

“Thank you for volunteering Mr Potter.” she motioned an arm towards him. James sighed as he stepped forward, regretting opening his mouth. “Today we are reinforcing the importance of the protection spell. Yes, force and attack are good uses of self defence but with the proper technique you will all be able to protect yourselves while simultaneously stunning your enemy as you prepare for the next attack”

The professor gestured to the rest of the class, “Any other volunteers?” silence. You watched James, stood smugly with his arms crossed  in front of everyone else, the thought of knocking him on his arse floated its way into your head, it had pleased you a bit too much that you almost stepped forward. But before you could do so another voice spoke.

“Yeah go on then” Gareth had stepped forward as a circle formed around him, some girls whispering behind him, and you definitely didn’t miss the lustful way they were looking at him.

“Very well, thank you Mr Urican” The professor nodded at him as she took a step back. “Positions please!” she clapped theatrically as James and Gareth stood opposite one another,

You bit your nails nervously, you could hear yourself talking to Gareth a few days earlier while you were discussing duels in the library. “ head up, back straight, feet down, it starts with posture”. Gareth looked over at you giving a nod while adjusting his posture, as if he also recalled the conversation with you. 

Across the room James watched the exchange between you and your Bandmate. His fingers flexed around his wand, he was gripping it so tight it could snap at any moment. Both boys looked over to their professor, she gave one last go ahead and they were off. James didn’t hesitate to throw out a few simple spells. Gareth had luckily reacted quickly enough, raising his wand and casting protego. James' last hits bounced off the shield disappearing into the air above Gareth. 

Gareth lowered his wand quickly, not allowing James a moment to catch his breath as he dropped the shield and stepped forward shooting some casual casts in his direction. He was too quick, two of them managed to hit James square in the chest before he managed to shield himself, He lowered the shield as quick as he had raised it and pointed his wand forward “Stupefy!” he commanded, the spell struck Gareth and he stumbled back, you held your breath. He managed to keep himself up and on the duelling mat although slightly winded. 

James looked pleased with himself but didn’t let his guard down, Gareth righted himself and immediately went to move in on James who once again cast protego just in time. “Depulso!” Gareth shot out, to James’ surprise he shattered his shield before striking him with three more basic casts causing him to stumble back completely off the mat and flat on his arse. 

A few cheers were heard as a small group of students surrounded Gareth, deemed the winner of the duel. James was still on the floor, astounded. 

“Alright, alright” The professor walked over as another student helped James up. “Thank you boys. As you all can see, casting protego shields you, but as Mr Urican demonstrated, if you don’t have enough power behind your spell a simple depulso can shatter it, leaving you  unguarded.” all the students watched as the professor explained, James couldn’t focus on what she had to say. He could only watch you, standing by Gareth’s side, smiling up at him while he returned it. 

-

“What's so special about this Gareth bloke anyway?” James was sulking on his bed, fiddling with a snitch. Mooney was on his own bed, book open in his hands but he wasn’t reading it, Sirius was sitting opposite James as they tossed a snitch between one another. James had recounted the afternoon to his friends, leaving out the duel but explaining in detail the looks between you and Gareth. 

“Which ones Gareth again?” Sirius had asked, he was barely focusing on the conversation. 

James huffed as he caught the snitch, “The drummer” he explained as he had done ten times before. Sirius raised his hands defensively.

“Alright alright, no need to get an attitude with me”

Remus snorted from his bed causing both boys to look over at him, “Yeah Sirius might think you’re in love with him”

James rolled his eyes, “I am not in love with her.” He felt like he had repeated this to every single one of his friends, and it didn’t matter if he did or not, you definitely would never feel the same way. 

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look as Remus simply shrugged. “Alright mate” said Sirius as he tossed the snitch back to James before swinging himself off the bed. “How about we get some dinner? I’m sure Wormy's waiting for us already.” 

James huffed as he watched his friends get up, he had to go but he didn’t want to, he knew you would be there. You were always there. 

He should start taking divination again because he was right in his prediction as he and his friends entered the great hall. You sat a few people down, Gareth at your side and Drew placed opposite you. Lily, Mary and Marlene were sitting in close proximity while Peter sat with them, already scoffing his dinner down. James placed himself at the other end, furthest away from you. Maybe distance would be the best way to stop you from consuming his every waking thought.

Evidently not, James tried to focus on his soup in front of him, the conversation between his friends occasionally laughing with them as if he were listening the whole time. But he couldn’t help but glance at you every so often. He swore that every time he looked over you were closer and closer to Gareth, your arm occasionally brushing his. James couldn’t stop himself as he leaned over to Marlene who was sat next to him, his voice low intending for the conversation to be for just the two of them.. “Aren’t you going to do something about that?” he not-so-subtly nodded his head in the direction of her band mates. Marlene turned to him, her spoon in her mouth as she raised her eyebrows, confused as she let out a ‘Hm?’ causing James to sigh once again as he continued, “If I were you I would be a bit concerned for the band if the bassist was shagging the drummer” His voice was lower, almost a whisper as Marlene looked over to you now, finishing the food in her mouth.

“What?” she grimaced at the thought, “They’re not shagging James!” She turned back to him but when she met his eyes she could help but feel sorrow, they looked sad and literally green with envy. Noticing his dismay she decided to help her friend out. “Alright” was all she said as she placed her spoon down  and made her way over to her band mates. Rounding the large table to walk up behind you. 

“Y/N! Real quick I have something to discuss… privately.” You stopped mid conversation to look up at your friend as Drew raised his eyebrows at her across the table. 

“Girl things?” He shuddered slightly remembering the last time he had accidentally walked in on your girl talk, regretting all his life choices as he overheard your intense descriptions of a night spent with a ravenclaw boy.

“Yes!” Marlene exclaimed a bit too excitedly, but thankful for the idea from Drew, “Girl things, come on” she pulled you up from your seat causing you to huff. 

“But Marls! Desert!” You whined as she dragged you down the hall only to stop in front of James.

“Actually, you know I’ve forgotten!” you looked at her confused as she gave you a nervous grin. “Here take a seat, have your dessert, I’ll let the boys know girl talk isn’t happening tonight” Marlene placed her hands on your shoulders before you even had a chance to protest, she forced you down next to Remus and opposite James, who now had his head in his hands. Marlene was never one for subtlety. 

“But- I-” was all you managed to get out before Marlene carted herself away back to where the boys were sat and plonked herself down with them. 

“Nice of you to join us!” Remus teased as he playfully nudged your shoulder causing you to glance up at him and flash a quick smile, 

“You know I’m actually not too sure what's just happened” The confusion evident on your face. James had lifted his head from his hands now to watch you, he was really trying to think of something to say, anything at all but he didn’t know Marlene’s plan and she hardly gave him time.

“I think Marlene had something to discuss without you” Remus smirked, you groaned knowing if it was a Marlene plan it would end up overly extravagant or in flames. 

James picked up a plate of pumpkin pie, learning from Marlene that it was one of your favourites he slid it over to you, “Here” was all he said as you looked up to meet his gaze. 

“Thanks bu-” before you could go on he handed over the pot of cream without saying a word, also learning from Marlene that you could not eat pumpkin pie without an abnormal amount of cream. You smiled at him gratefully with an undertone of concern in your eyes, how did he know? 

“Thank you” Was all you said before dumping the cream over your pie, James chuckled slightly under his breath as he watched you, Marlene wasn’t exaggerating. 

“I think they milk cows just for you” he said causing you to giggle, James’ eyes shone with wonder, that's actually the first time you had laughed at one of his remarks and Merlin did he love hearing the sound. 

“I don’t usually have a sweet tooth but when it comes to pumpkin pie I can’t help myself” you said as you shoved a decent sized piece in your mouth. James smiled at you as he tucked into his own piece, excluding the cream. A feeling was rising in his chest, this one was different to the usual burning he encountered around you, this one was warmer, like something inside him had melted away. 

After dinner, you all chatted for a while before slowly making your way out the hall once the larger groups had disappeared. 

You and James had found yourselves walking side by side a small ways behind the group.

“So…” James started awkwardly, not being able to bear the silence much longer, “you’re gonna play the three broomsticks.” 

You were caught a little bit off guard, you hadn’t openly spoken about this to James and never realised that he could actually listen to the conversations you have. 

“Er, yeah I don’t think we’ll get it”

“Well if you sing like you did at the party I doubt they’ll say no.” James replied.

“Mr Potter, are you complimenting me?” You raised an eyebrow at him as he rolled his eyes before chuckling at you. 

“Please don’t let it go to your head” he practically begged which for the second time that night made you giggle at him. 

“You’re one to talk” you had joked but something about the way James’ smile dissipated as he stopped walking made you think that it was the wrong joke to make. 

The air suddenly turned slightly colder and you couldn’t understand why, you’d called him arrogant, egotistical, big headed, all of it before so why did this joke cause an aching in your chest at the look on James’ face.

“Guess that’s what people on the outside will always see”, that stung, especially with the way his eyes struck yours at the end of that sentence. 

You softened slightly, allowing the sting, “James Im sor-” 

“We should catch up to the others” James cut you short as he walked on without caring to look back at you. 

[0angel-tears0]

Music to my Ears III

James Potter X Fem!Reader

Summary: As your groups grow closer you and James find the proximity almost too much and it becomes increasingly harder to enjoy each others company.

Word Count: 1.9K

A/N: Sorry It's taken so long and is a bit short, I did lowk forget... but its here now and another will be following soon! Enjoy :)

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That night was spent much like the first for both you and James, tossing, turning and all you felt was rage. How dare he? How dare he bring up the nickname that tortured you for years at school, the horrible name which haunted you. It was stupid and had nothing to do with the prank itself. Eleven year old James had decided to leave a small gift on your desk a month before the end of first year, little to your knowledge it was charmed with an explosive charm.

After all the physical pain and mental bullying you later found out that it wasn’t meant to be harmful but you were first years and inexperienced with such magic. Your left hand had just rested on top of the box, you were smart enough to know not to open it especially since your hair had fallen out completely just two weeks before. Due to the fragility of the box, however, you accidentally set it off. The whole thing exploded in a mass of colours as it burnt up your left arm, you screamed so much you thought your vocal chords would explode and was immediately rushed to Pomfrey. In the aftermath all that remained was your shoulder and left pinky, red raw and blistering. You were burnt, scarred. You had managed to hide it under your school robes but were forced to wear a big old bandage on that finger for weeks and even after the scars were prominent enough that the nickname stuck. You never confessed, never said who it was that left the gift but James had left you alone without so much of an apology which on more than one occasion made you regret not saying his name. 

You somehow felt that his apology from earlier that night was linked to what he did in first year but you pushed the thought aside. To you James only cared for himself, at the beginning of third year you decided to reinvent yourself, having made enough money from your muggle summer job you finally managed to afford the Bass Guitar you always wanted and met the beautiful group of people who are now your band mates and best friends, ‘Pinky’ still lingered but by the end of fifth year it was a distant memory like everyone has just forgotten about it, but you still had the scars, so yeah, fuck James Potter. 

In the following weeks you avoided James like the plague. You intended to keep your promise of civility but he was making it so difficult. The few moments in which you found yourselves alone became a big blowout so you had decided that the best way to deal with James was to not deal with him at all, which was made more difficult as you grew closer with the girls, Remus and even Sirius for that matter, and once Marlene had introduced the rest of the band, both groups grew closer than you could imagine but unfortunately for you James was very persistent. He often tried to get you alone attempting to reconcile but each time his frustration got the better of him, he ended up spewing  something he knew would push you further from him  but he wanted to, no needed to fix things. There was an innate burning inside his chest whenever he was around you that he couldn’t explain. 

A similar feeling was bubbling in his chest now as he heard your giggling entering the common room, approaching his direction on the sofa by the fireplace, he was laid across it, he was basically the length of the sofa but he was thankful that he was able to hide. That was until you had made your way to sit down not noticing the boy until it was too late. 

“Oh… James” His presence had made you jump slightly as he looked up at you, two boys stood behind you, who he had come to know as Drew and Gareth, he hadn’t been formally introduced to them yet but had heard of them through Remus. He sat up suddenly aware of his selfishness of taking up the whole sofa. 

“Er Hi.” He said nodding at you, he was suddenly hot and needed to escape the proximity of the fire. 

“Oh yes James, these are my band mates” You decided to fill this awkward silence with something, anything. “Guys this is James, um… Remus’ friend” James stood and smiled at them but it didn’t reach his eyes. Remus’ friend echoed inside him. 

“You don’t think we’re friends y/n?” James flirted, tilting his head at you as you rolled your eyes at him.

“No James, I think you’re an annoying prick” James laughed at your statement with a poor attempt to hide the undertone of bitterness. 

“And here I thought we were soulmates, I was worried I would have to deal with your terrible attitude my whole life!” James mocked as he folded his arms, every trace of amusement leaving his face as he spoke

You mimicked his actions “Only in your dreams, Potter”

Your friends shifted awkwardly behind you, interrupting your stare down as James became aware of where you were. “I’ll get out of your way” James gave you a fake smile before leaving the area to brood in a corner somewhere, Drew and Gareth giving him nods and quiet thank yous. You watched him go, sulking away, wondering what his problem could be now. This was the longest most civil conversation you had managed to have in weeks.

“Y/n? Drew snapped you out of your thoughts as you looked at him, now sat on the sofa with Gareth. You joined them continuing your earlier conversation as you all attempted to shake the bitter cold off by the fire. 

The corner James now found himself in seemed dark and cold. He watched you from afar, laughing with your friends, leaning into Gareth a bit too much for his liking. “If you stare any harder she might burst” 

James looked up, can’t he find just a moment of peace anywhere? “Evans” He greeted. Lily placed herself in the arm chair next to him. A book resting in her lap. 

“So when are you going to tell her how much you love her?” She was always one to be blunt. James scoffed shifting slightly. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Lily released a light chuckle. “I always know what I’m talking about” she said plainly before leaning forward, “and I know you James”

James simply sighed, now looking anywhere but at you. He decided to just stare at the burn spot in the carpet before him, no doubt the remnants of a potion gone wrong. “Why doesn’t she like me, Lils? Not us, just me?” 

Lily shrugs, remembering the morning after yours and James’ pub brawl. You had explained everything, although the girls tried their best to convince you to give him a chance, pressing on the fact that James wasn’t the same as he was now you couldn’t see past the months of torment which lingered. Besides, James hadn’t done anything to prove himself otherwise. 

“You hurt her James.” she said “she blames you for it all, the teasing that followed for years after, long after you had moved on to bully someone else”

James looked up at her now. “I didn’t bully her!” Lily gave him a knowing look causing him to sink further into his seat. “She’s just so…” He placed his face into his hands, he didn’t know why he struggled to enunciate when it came to you but he definitely knew it wasn’t love. He lifted his head slowly, looking back up at you. “I just want a chance,” 

Lily smiled at him, she leaned back into her chair casually as she reopened her book. "Then show her that, don’t tell her” James thought hard about Lily's words. He didn't know how much time had passed until he noticed the common room slowly emptying. He looked at Lily once more, she was entirely engrossed in it “Do we have a class?” without looking up from her book she replied. 

“You do "James simply nodded as he bid her goodbye and ran up the stairs to the boys dorm to gather his things, including his timetable so he actually knew where he was going. Defence against the Dark Arts, 

As he exited the common room a rush of sweet orange and vanilla infiltrated his nose he recognised the  familiar scent, your scent. He looked up to see you just ahead, also making your way out. Lily's words rang in his head as he made his way towards you through the rush of students. 

“Y/n!” He called once he was close enough, you turned towards the noise

“James?” you squinted at him as you stepped out of the way of the students behind you, bidding goodbye to your friends, you didn’t want them to see whatever it was James had to say to you this time, even if he didn’t have his usual scowl on his face and was actually incredibly chirpy. You didn’t trust it.  

Now that he was here he was actually quite unsure on how to show you but he knew he couldn’t let himself get riled up by you. “What do you want? “ you asked, crossing your arms over your chest, you were making it increasingly difficult to deal with you. James simply exhaled as he gave you a slightly off-putting smile. 

“Umm… Heading to DADA too?” You nodded slowly, hoping he wasn’t suggesting you walk together, before you could open your mouth to deter him of the idea he had reached forward and slipped your satchel off your shoulder, forcing you to uncross your defensive pose. “Here I can take that for you.” He slung the bag over his own shoulder and began to walk, you eventually joined. .

“Oh… thanks” you said as he smiled at you once more, this one seemed less fake. You both fell into step as you made your way to class, together. You felt slightly unnerved as you passed many students who turned to look at you both, seeing James carry your bag for you, whispering wildly to one another. James seemed unfazed by the looks and whispers as he finally turned to you. 

“So, any plans for the weekend?” 

You sighed “James..” you didn’t want to go through this again, he had asked you plenty of times for a trip to Hogsmeade (which more often than not ended in an argument) and you were about to borderline hex him if he asked again. 

James lifted his hands in surrender, your bag strap over his shoulder lifting with them. “I’m just asking, making conversation” he quickly explained “Not asking you out or anything”

“I didn’t know you were capable of making conversation” you retorted. With a hint of playfulness which had gone straight over James’ head.

“Why do you have to be like that?” You looked up at him with a questioning look.

“What? Like what?” 

“Snarky” He said it like it were obvious. “No one will like you if you talk to everyone like that” he said with a nonchalance, if anyone were to witness the conversation from a distance they would think you were talking about the weather. “No wonder you haven’t got a boyfriend” He muttered that last part under his breath but you were close enough to hear him. 

You stopped walking so abruptly that James almost didn’t realise “Excuse me?” you scoffed in disbelief “what if I don’t want people to like me?”

James simply shrugged, “I’m just saying” You shook your head at him.

“Unbelievable” were all you said before you snatched your bag back off his shoulder. “Thanks for walking me to class” the venom in your voice told James that you weren’t actually that thankful. 

“What did I say?” he stood dumbfounded as he watched your retreating figure.

[0angel-tears0]

Music to my Ears II

James Potter X Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.2K

Summary: James wonders why he can't stop thinking about you, he tries to make it up and comes face to face with the ugly truth.

A/N: Minors DNI! This is part 2 to my James fic, the Y/N memes are freaking me out i hope this Y/N isn't like that lol. Hopefully I've kept it vague enough but not so vague that you don't know what the fuck is going on.

Likes, comments, reblogs are always appreciated <3

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You had a busy day ahead of you, mainly revision but you usually tone it down on saturdays you weren’t as mental as Remus. Then you had to go to Hogmeade, Marlene wanted to shop for a few things, the band wanted to see if they could get a gig at the three broomsticks which you knew was never going to happen and Marls wanted you to officially meet her friends. You weren’t exactly a loner, you knew everyone a little bit but you weren’t close with anyone like you were with Marlene and the band, they were your lifeline. Luckily you had sobered up enough before bed and didn’t have much of a hangover when you woke, you had James to thank for that. 

You had a busy day, yes, so why were you stuck lying in bed thinking of James? Would he be in Hogsmeade today? Probably but why did you care, maybe seeing you in Hogsmeade and not on a date with him would anger him more, though you doubted he would go as red-faced as he did last night. 

You weren’t sure why you enjoyed toying with him, maybe because he made it so easy? Or was it  because his arrogance annoyed you so much that you wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. You didn’t know what it was but you just couldn’t get him out of your head, the way he had been staring at you basically the whole night, how he dragged Remus away, how close he was, how those words… from his lips… you shook your head violently reminding yourself of his actions last night, yes he was attractive but you do not fancy James Potter.

You could hear Marlene’s footsteps so you quickly shut your eyes and rolled over. 

“Wakey Wakey!” she sang as she slowly pulled back your bed curtain, “come on, up you get we have a lot to do” If Marlene was anything, she was punctual. You rolled towards her, pretending that you hadn’t been up for hours thinking about a certain someone.

“Yeah Yeah” You waved her off as you got out of bed and moved towards the bathroom to get ready for the day. 

-

In the boys dorm James was having a similar conundrum. He kept playing the night over and over in his head, like reliving a nightmare, if he thought that there was even a little bit of a chance with you he definitely knew there was absolutely no way you would even think about him now. He shoved his face into his pillow and groaned into it his stomach twisting with anxiety, how was he going to face you? Of course he had to, he had to apologise or at least come up with some excuse like it was the drink or something. 

James was too deep into his overthinking to hear Sirius approach, only noticing his presence when he felt his bed dip from extra weight. “Thinking about her?” Sometimes he thought Sirius could read his mind. 

“I was such a dick Pads” James mumbled into his pillow, refusing to face the world. Sirius chuckled at him. 

“Just apologise, I’m sure she’ll understand” Sirius tried to reason, he didn’t know the full story but he oozed optimism, he has clearly spent too much time with Remus.

James just sighed, the lack of response made Sirius roll his eyes. Jumping up from the bed he spoke “come on! Let's go to Hogsmeade”. James groaned once again and finally turned to him ready to turn Sirius down but the pointed look he was giving him made him stop. “Don’t make me get Moony” He playfully threatened, “you know what he’s like if we interrupt his revision” that was enough to get James out of bed and into the bathroom to get ready, who knows maybe Hogsmeade will take his mind off things. 

-

“Marlsssss, please my feet hurt” You groaned at your friend who dragged you along talking about ‘just one more shop’ which she had said four shops ago!

Marlene let out a light sigh “Well you wanted to wear those boots!” She teased,

You looked down at your black, heeled, knee high boots. “I thought they were cute”, you murmured slightly, Marlene rolled her eyes at you playfully while you second guessed your choice of shoes. 

“Alright lets get a drink then. The girls are probably waiting” Marlene grabbed your hand and began to drag you towards the three broomsticks and you were so excited to sit down you could practically feel the hard wooden chairs stabbing into your back already. The small pub was heaving slightly, mainly with other students as you entered, stark opposite to the cold air outside. 

Lucky for you Marlene’s friends were able to nab the spacious booth seats in the back corner and you were definitely grateful for it as you sank into the slightly hard cushions sighing with content. 

“God you’re so dramatic” Marlene giggled at you as she turned to her friends, “We weren’t even walking for that long”

Now you weren’t thinking of your aching feet you introduced yourself, “HI”  You beamed at both the girls sat opposite you as they smiled back. 

“It good to officially get to know you more than just the other girl we live with” Mary joked as your cheeks tinged pink, slightly embarrassed at the comment.  

“I love your boots!” Lily exclaimed, noticing your embarrassment as you smiled at her before giving Marlene a smug look. 

“Thanks! I would say they were worth the pain but my feet really are killing” They both chuckled at this.

“Don’t worry we’ve all been there with Marlene, it's a wonder you agreed to shop with her” Mary joked as she giggled at Marlene 

Marlene protested “Hey!”

“I have definitely learnt my lesson” You said laughing along with them

Marlene protested louder “HEY!”

Lily smiled at her “come on Marls you know we’re joking” Marlene, however slumped all the same, crossing her arms over her chest in mock anger. 

“So that's why you don't go shopping with me anymore “ she questioned as if she was getting the final piece of the puzzle. 

You chuckled at her “Aw poor Marls, how about I get you a drink to make up for it” Marlene seemed to immediately perk up at this as she quickly agreed. 

You squeezed past her and made your way to the bar being able to ignore the boots squeezing your feet a bit more after your brief rest. As you leaned on the smooth wood waiting to be served you were approached by an overwhelming aura of charisma, “Well fancy seeing you here”. 

You turned your head to the source of the voice coming face to face with the tall dark haired man “Sirius” you greeted. 

He smiled at you as he leaned on the bar next to you. “What brings you here on this fine evening” 

“Well I was hoping to run into you of course!” you replied sarcastically as the barman approached, you leaned towards him and gave your order as Sirius gasped at your reply and mockingly clutched his pearls. 

“And here I was thinking you wanted James, who knew it was me all along, this will break the poor boy's heart” You snorted at his reply, as if James would care about you or who you would date, he made his intentions very clear last night. 

“Well I doubt that” 

“Oh?” Sirius perked up raising an eyebrow, “Intriguing, last i heard James was infatuated with you”  he leaned on his elbows towards you slightly singing the word ‘infatuated’ as if he was taking the piss.

You rolled your eyes at him “If this is joke Black, it isn’t funny” Sirius raised his hands in defence, did James not tell him anything? And here you thought they told each other everything. This could only mean two things, either James was so embarrassed by his actions last night that he couldn’t even tell his closest friends or that he was so unbelievably egotistical that he didn’t even think you were worth mentioning. It was probably the latter. “Well maybe you should talk to your mate” Your drinks had arrived and you went to leave, but turned back to Sirius before you left, “James’ doesn’t know me, he can’t be infatuated with me” You stated matter of factly before walking back to your table. 

“Thank you!” Marlene smiled gratefully as she shifted along in the booth to let you in with the drinks. 

The four of you spent the afternoon, drinking and joking away. You can see why Marlene was friends with them, it was so easy to fall in step with them and you were slightly embarrassed that you weren’t closer with them sooner. Sure you only moved into their dorm in 5th year and you only know people you share a dorm with to a certain extent but you seemed to try your hardest to avoid them over the years. You were always up before them or the last in bed. Always studying or doing extracurriculars, your parents always being the ones to push the importance of schooling and your education. It wasn’t until the band that you actually felt like you had a place at Hogwarts. Regardless, you were grateful for it all now. 

“So what was that about earlier?” Lily questioned as she sipped from what was probably her third butterbeer. 

“What do you mean?” You looked at her confused. 

Before she could continue Mary burst out like she was holding it back for a while “What was Sirius talking to you about?”

“Guys!” Marlene scolded them as you grew more and more confused. 

“What on earth are you guys talking about?” Your voice had a slightly demanding tone to it, Marlene glanced at her friends before sighing and turning to you. 

“Well last night I was going to see if you were okay when you were going to the loo and I saw you-”

“Me and James” you finished for her as she nodded. 

“I didn’t mean to intrude, I only heard the end of it but Y/N, are you okay?” You  nodded as your face tinted pink, slightly embarrassed that Marlene had seen the mess you were and more embarrassed that she told her friends about it. 

“Yeah, we were hoping that Sirius was apologising on James’ behalf” Lily said like she was annoyed at James for you, “James isn’t like that usually, Merlin knows what possessed him to act like- like a”

“Like a right prick” Mary finished for her and you giggled at them, thankful for their protectiveness, they had known James longer but that also meant they knew how much of a prick he could be. 

“It’s okay” You said, “Sirius actually had no idea, I would assume he’s questioning James about it now, but I don't like him and he doesn’t like me so I think we should leave it at that” The girls exchanged glances with each other, they did it so obviously that you had to ask, “what now?”

“He definitely does like you” Mary stated, you were thankful for her abrasiveness but you were very close to laughing right in her face. 

“He absolutely does not! Marlene heard him” You all turned to the girl next to you who almost jumped at the attention on her now.

“W-well yes but- well he was very horrible but-” she stuttered over her words “ I’ve never seen him so riled up like that before, not even before a match” she took a sip of her butterbeer in an attempt to hide behind it. “You were standing close, if I couldn't hear you I would have thought you were snogging”

“Ah!” You gasped in protest at her last mutter. 

Lily piped up before you could reply “You know… James did say to me once that he would know if someone was the one if she made him feel things he never had before” she smirked at you, “I doubt he has ever been that angry before”

You rolled your eyes, they were really reaching now. “Really? And why would he have told you about his wants and needs?” You took a sip of your drink.

“We dated” You almost choked on your drink.

“WHAT?” Lily chuckled at your reaction “Why would you do that to yourself?”

Lily giggled “we were young, luckily we realised soon enough that it wasn’t going to work out, but we had never argued like you two did” You placed your head in your hands, how long were they going to keep this James thing up? “But hey, there’s nothing there so he’s all yours”

You head shot up “I don’t want him” They all giggled at your reaction, “didn’t he used to basically bully you in second year?” Lily looked slightly taken aback that you recalled something about her from so long ago. 

“That was a few pranks, they were all little criminals” she waved you off, “Besides I guess that's how he showed he was interested, you know like pulling a girls pigtails on the playground” 

You snorted “That's just a poor excuse to defend mean boys” before Lily could reply because Merlin knows you were both as stubborn as each other and this could definitely go on forever,  Marlene (thankfully) decided to change the conversation. 

“How about I get us some more drinks?” She said but as she moved to get up a voice spoke from beside you all as it approached.

“No need” Sirius Black stood at the end of the table like a knight in shining armour with four tankards of butterbeer in his hands. He placed them down on your table, you all looked down at them before looking back up at Sirius as Lily questioned him.

“Whats this?”

“Butterbeer” 

“Obviously, what for?”

“Yeah, what do you want Black?” Mary joined in the questioning of Sirius as you all looked at him expectantly.

“It's more a peace offering” He tapped Mary on the shoulder as a way to ask her to move along before squeezing himself into the booth with them, you and Marlene giggling at the look on Mary and Lily's faces as they were budged up. Sirius whistled across the pub as his friends on the other side looked over, he waved an arm to summon them over and you suddenly realised what the ‘peace offering’ was really for.

“No” was all you could say as James, Remus and Peter appeared at your table. 

“Yes” Sirius smiled at you like he did before, this time with more mischief, “don’t mind if we join you do you ladies?” Sirius had already settled himself into the booth, wrapping his arm around Mary as he squeezed them up more to allow Remus in next to him. Pete had pulled up a wooden chair to sit at the end of the table and James remained standing… awkwardly.  

“Prongs” Remus said, giving James a pointed look which told you that James had now told them everything. 

James seemed to be brought out of a trance as he looked at you, “Er, yeah Y/N can we talk?” You sighed and begrudgingly slid out of the booth. You followed James out of the pub into the cool night air. The girls exchanging ‘I told you so’ looks as you left which you didn’t much appreciate.

“What is it James? If its about last night i really dont wanna-”

“Will you let me talk?” He said with a sass you didn’t appreciate but you had remained silent anyway, only slightly narrowing your eyes at him. 

“What I said yesterday was rude, I don’t want you to think it’s the type of man I am” You crossed  your arms, subtly attempting to keep yourself from the chill of the evening as he went on. “I would like to apologise”

You simply stared at him, James felt slightly scrutinised by your gaze as he awaited your reply. “Go on then” was all you had said. 

“What?” He replied.

“Apologise then” you clarified.

“I just did”

“No, James, you didn’t, you spouted bullshit about the type of man you are and your image because that's all you care about” you scoffed at him, this was a terrible apology. 

James rubbed his hands over his face, the apology he had rehearsed over and over again had been emptied from his mind as you took over and consumed it completely.

“What did I ever do to you?” he finally burst out, “huh? What did I personally do to make you hate me so much?! I mean you barely know me!” 

You laughed bitterly at his outburst, “Oh you made every single day of first year a living  hell!” James stepped back slightly like memories of when he was eleven suddenly struck him, That's how he recognised you. 

You watched the cogs turn in his head, he didn’t remember you, he didn’t recognise you. Until he said, “Pinky?”

You shook your head, eyes brimming with tears of anger as you were brought straight back by that simple, horrible, nickname. “Don’t you dare call me that” your voice was dangerous as you pointed a finger at him. "You've grown up to be just as immature and arrogant”. 

“You are forcing this surely!” James was frustrated now, a rare emotion to see on him but then again its all you’ve seen of him. “You’re basing all this on a grudge from when we were eleven?!” 

“Yes! I am because you never knew what it felt like to be alone! To have no one, all because the egotistical first year who acted like the world should kiss his feet decided one day to mess with you.” Your emotions were pouring out now and you couldn’t stop it, you blamed him for everything and he had no idea. You were both breathing heavily now, worn from your argument. James didn’t know what to say, he watched your eyes dark, teary and full of anger. 

“I’m sorry” was all he could say, he never had thought about what his actions could lead to before, let alone years down the line.

“It’s too late” You pushed past him to enter the warmth of the pub once again. You said nothing as you grabbed your coat, eyes downcast so your friends couldn't see the emotions swirling through them and the tears that threatened to fall. 

“Y/n?” Was all Marlene managed to get out as you promptly gathered your things and immediately left. You didn’t see Remus stand to follow you out, you didn’t hear his calls of your name. As you exited the pub once again James was still standing there turning to face you, his face softer than before. 

“Y/n” you held a hand up to stop him from proceeding.

“Save it James, I can be civil but i wont forget.. I can’t” your voice trembled slightly at the end of your sentence causing James' heart to shatter. You shrugged on your coat and moved past him. Beginning the walk back to your dorm, all you wanted to do right now was be in bed.

“What did you say to her?” Remus said, he stood at the door watching your figure retreat with Jame who hadn’t even turned to look at him. 

“I’ve fucked up Moony.”

[0angel-tears0]

Music to my Ears I

James Potter x Fem! Reader

Word count: 3.4K

Summary: At a Gryffindor party James notices someone he hasn't before, when that someone doesn't even want to give him the time of day he spirals.

Warnings: Minors DNI!! Enemies-to-lovers (kinda), slowburn (also kinda). Characters aged up and are all appropriate ages (18+), no year is mentioned but its kind of implied. They are silly and don't understand anything (it will hit them at some point).

A/N: JAMESFIC! This is part one to a James series I'll be starting, I am so excited for this and I'm really happy with how it's turning out! as a pre-warning it will be long and im hoping to upload the entire thing to Ao3 when it's done! Also I am currently playing Hogwarts Legacy and I just couldn't help but envision that map while I was writing so some places might be describe from the game but imagine whatever you want!

---

It was loud in the common room, which in itself isn’t unusual for a post quidditch party but it was seemingly louder this time. 

James was off in some corner finding some peace after all the praises seemed to die out. Of course he loved the appreciation but today it seemed suffocating, he didn’t feel like it was his best game, almost getting knocked off his broom more than a few times. 

“Alright mate?” Sirius clapped him on the shoulder catching him off guard as his cup almost slipped from his hands. Sirius, of course, had noticed his friends dismay. He had mentioned it after the match but James’ short replies told him not to push it any further. 

“Yeah.. fine” James replied as he shook his hand out attempting to dry it from the sticky liquid which had spilled over from the rim of his cup from Sirius’ movements. 

“You don’t seem fine” Of course, where Sirius was Remus was soon to follow, especially at a party like this and surprisingly Pete followed. James looked up at his friend sighing, Sirius would often push feelings aside choosing to ignore things and be blissfully unaware while it slowly builds, Pete does small favours, he senses unease but quietly brings snacks or simply his company to help you feel better but Remus, he was upfront and saw right through James, often forcing him to face his emotions without even lifting a finger, his face saying it all. 

“It wasn’t my best” James shrugged,  Remus rolled his eyes and chuckled softly as Sirius placed an arm around James’ shoulders. 

“You’re bein’ a bit harsh mate, you were brilliant out there!” Remus praised but something about the way he said it made it different, it definitely didn’t seem as empty as the ‘Well done mate’ and “great job” he had been getting all night and he couldn’t help but match Remus’ smile, just being with his friends lifted his spirits. “Come on, we have a party to enjoy”

- 

Later in the evening the boys were a bit happier (less sober) and were currently tormenting some poor Ravenclaw second years who decided to ‘sneak’ into the party. However, a high pitched feedback noise to cut through the air as the music was suddenly turned right down and off, everyone in the room turned to the source of the pitchy noise, a band in the corner of the room. 

“Ahem, hi, we are Cursed Skull” a tall boy with short beaded dreads and a brilliant, confident posture spoke into the microphone before him with a thick Irish accent. He turned to his left and nodded as Marlene stood beside him, her pink guitar strapped to her, before doing the same with the bass guitarist to his right. 

“1, 2, 3” With that, they were off. The room instantly exploded with music as they jumped (quite literally) straight into it, everyone else bouncing around with them, the room was electric, becoming a proper party. 

James was in awe, watching how the band had just shocked a party into the air quicker than any magic could. He was also in awe of the bassist, he watched her carefully seeing how her fingers moved across the instrument, the way she nodded to the music and how her brow creased as she kept on time and in tune. He recognised the band of course, he had met Marlene’s band mates before. But he hadn’t seen you before and he was struck. 

“OI! Moony!” He shouted over the music at Remus who was watching (a very obviously drunk) Sirius pull Pete up to prance about the open floor space in front of the band, joining the mass of people already moving in the space. Remus turned to James and nodded his head once, James simply pointed at you and his friend understood instantly as he leaned into James’ ear. 

“Y/N Y/L/N,” he didn’t quite shout but rather spoke loudly, enough for James to hear at least, 

He simply nodded, “I know her”

Remus agreed leaning into him once more, “We have few classes with her”

James decided that was all the information he needed. Not wanting to strain his voice any further, he took a sip of his beer and kept watching, completely entranced by you. 

By the end of the third song James had sat down on a sofa off to the side, probably on his fifth witches brew now? He watched as the song came to an end and the large group on the makeshift dancefloor paused their movement to applaud. The lead had taken a step back and picked up a guitar himself as the bassist had stepped up causing James to suddenly sit up in his seat, he hadn’t realised how far he slouched into it until he heard the sofa sigh as he lifted his weight. 

“Hello, this one is for all the twats out there” the crowd hollered as Sirius whooped loudly, “yeah yeah, fuck you guys” you giggled into the microphone as you started into the song, the others shortly following suit. Your voice was absolutely magical to James, he was utterly enchanted as he watched you sing into the microphone the meaning of every word conveyed with such intensity that it had nearly blown him back into the sofa. However, all good things must come to an end and before he knew it the lead was back and with a few more songs the set was over, the casual music resuming as the band began to pack away. 

You were giggling at Marlene as she struggled to untangle some wires from her feet, her excitement to perform got the better of her and she had fallen victim to the consequences of her previous jumping about, “Merlin! This has to be worse than devil’s snare” she joked causing you to laugh harder at her predicament. James decided to approach, he let out one big huff before taking step after step towards you.

You hadn’t actually seen him approach, only realising when Marlene’s conversation dimmed and her gaze had shifted to the figure behind you. You turned all at once to look at him, wondering who had the terrible idea to interrupt you and your friend. He stood tall, his curls messy like he had just been running his fingers through them, his glasses slightly askew on his nose and he was gripping his cup like it might fly out of his hand at any moment. 

“Hello” was all he had said yet it dripped with confidence, the grip on his cup did not loosen. Marlene chuckled softly at his stature before giving you a pat on the shoulder and continuing to help pack all your kit away. 

“Can I help you?” Your voice was sweet like honey in his tea, James had never felt like this before, your radiance was throwing him off and he needed to get his head in the game. Slowly he breathed out and loosened his grip on his cup, his shoulders slacked and he eased back into himself slightly. 

“I just wanted to say you guys were great, you created a really good atmosphere” He mentally facepalmed, ‘Atmosphere’ Really James?

You laughed slightly, no one had ever described your music like that before. “Thanks, that's a… unique comment”

James rubbed the back of his neck before sticking out a hand, “I’m - “

“James Potter” You cut him off short, not bothering to shake his hand. James slowly retrieved it and smirked, he didn’t seem bothered by the fact you knew him. You refrained from rolling your eyes. 

“You know who I am.” He seemed to phrase this more like a statement rather than a question. 

“I know who you are,” You repeated. ‘Your arrogance hit me before you even stepped in my direction’, you wanted to say but decided to bite your tongue, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

“And you are Y/N Y/L/N” James winked at you attempting to impress you with his recently learnt knowledge, you simply nodded once, it almost made you physically recoil, did he try this on with every girl? On the other side of things James found it increasingly difficult to keep this conversation afloat, it was almost as if you didn’t want to speak to him but surely that wasn’t the case? Who would not want to speak with head boy, quidditch captain, James Potter?

James smiled at you “Now that we are clearly well acquainted, how about you get a drink with me? Tomorrow. Hogsmeade” You scoffed at his tone, he was obviously someone who wasn’t used to being told no and you could hear it in the way his voice stated every sentence rather than asked. 

“No thanks”

“I thought maybe the three broomsticks or a walk around-...” He stopped short, “Wait… no?” 

You nodded to confirm, “Yep”

“So yes?” James smirked cheekily as you then shook your head.

“Its a no, Potter”

James was caught off guard by the instant rejection. “Are you busy?” the audacity of this man. 

You rolled your eyes, “No” you drawled out. You actually were busy but seeing the look on his face was worth the white lie. 

James blinked once again, “Right… well it was nice to meet you”. You nodded at him once with an almost cunning smile before he turned and walked away slightly unsure about what had just happened. He wanted to go back even just to get clarification but he couldn’t stop himself as he walked away towards his friends who were eagerly awaiting his triumph. 

“So what happened?” Pete asked as soon as he had reached them, he was sitting on the sofa next to Remus looking up at James as Sirius stood by the sofa engaged in a conversation which Remus could care less about, thankfully their conversation subsided as they noticed the confused look on James’ face.

“I’m not sure” James replied as he sat on the sofa next to Remus as Sirius placed himself on the armrest the other side of him. “She said no”

“Oh my god, don’t tell me she’s rattled you Prongs?” Sirius leaned into James’ shoulder nudging him playfully as he laughed at his friend. 

“I don’t think she likes me very much, it was… awkward.” Remus cringed slightly as James explained the conversation, their eyes all looked over to you as he spoke. 

You were back with Marlene, now untangled, who was questioning you in a similar style, “So what did he want?” she asked, her eyes shining with curiosity. 

“He asked me out” You replied as you bundled up some wires. 

“And…?” 

You shrugged, “I said no”

“No?!” The volume of Marlene’s voice surprised you as your head shot up to look at her, “HA! Brilliant, I bet he’s going crazy” she giggled.

“Come on Marls, surely girls have said no to him before” You said while you waved your wand to tie a band and secure any loose wires. 

Marlene snorted “Not bloody likely, what made you say no?”

You shrugged once more, “I just don’t like him, I guess, he’s a bit of a dick” Marlene rolled her eyes. 

“Okay, sure Y/N” She didn’t seem to believe you but it was true. James and his mates had tormented and pranked anyone in sight since their arrival at this school, sure they were mostly harmless but you found it hard to like them when they had set off purple firecrackers in the library during an O.W.L.s study session and you couldn’t get the stains off your school shirt for weeks! First year James Potter seemed to make it his personal mission to create chaos in your life from unleashing nifflers in your dorms, to ‘kindly’ baking you a cake which made your hair burst into a wild rainbow of colours and then falling off your head, you were mortified and had to suffer under a hat waiting for you hair to grow back fully for months while James got two weeks detention and a slap on the wrist. All the boys were pranksters but James seemed to target you. Half way through second year he’d move on to torture some other poor student, Lily Evans maybe? So you doubted he even remembered.  

The way James had reacted also told you everything you needed to know, you don’t know who had stroked his ego to make him so audacious but you couldn’t lie, it felt good to reject him and seeing his face drop caused something in your chest to flutter. Maybe it was sadistic but hey it was also quite funny. 

-

Later on, you were a few drinks down, the thrill of performance running through your blood (the firewhiskey was most likely a factor too), you were swaying to the music, a slow Bowie tune was echoing throughout the Gryffindor common room. You had tried your very best to grab up Marlene but she had adamantly refused, she was way too sober to be up and dancing with you especially with the way you were dancing.  

James watched you from the sofa he had seemed to sink into, having to adjust himself a few times as you swayed. His friends had left him now, Pete most likely off snogging somewhere and Sirius had finally gotten enough drink into Remus to drag him to dance. Luckily they stood quite close to you so if anyone questioned James’ obvious staring he could pass it off as watching his mates. 

“Has the James Potter been taken down by the first girl to say no?” James rolled his eyes as Marlene fell into the sofa, placing herself next to him as she sat propped up on one leg and leaned into the back of the sofa, mischief rampant in her eyes. 

“No,” James replied rather glumly. “She just didn’t even give me a chance, or reason, actually it was quite rude, she barely knows me and-” Marlene just watched in amusement as he rambled on, clearly humbled by the situation.

She placed a hand softly on his shoulder to stop his incessant word vomit, “James relax” He stopped to look at her. “If you want a tip, I don’t think you can rely on your ego or confidence with that one” She turned to look at you hoping her words managed to worm their way into James’ skull. 

James scoffed at her words making it clear that her help was not appreciated. “Thanks but I don’t need tips, I doubt Y/N likes any of us” Marlene chuckled at his words.

She gave James one last pat on his shoulder “I wouldn’t be so sure” she said as she stood up off the sofa.  James, alone again, furrowed his brow at her words as he turned his gaze back to you. 

He sat up abruptly as he had noticed you were no longer dancing alone. Remus who had seemingly been abandoned by Sirius had his large hands holding your waist, your hands were around his neck and a smile was plastered on your face as you both danced together and James couldn't help but feel the rage that was boiling inside him. 

He stood and beelined to Remus, he wasn’t thinking rationally when he grabbed Remus’ by his bicep and pulled him off you, and he definitely wasn’t thinking rationally when he dragged him to the quiet staircase by the dorms, ignoring your protests of losing your dance partner. 

“Prongs! What the fuck?” Remus slurred, the speed of James’ actions causing him to stumble slightly. 

“Me?! Remus what the fuck? Why were you dancing with her!” James exclaimed the betrayal evident in his voice.

Remus was certainly confused by the situation and he had no idea how to rectify it. “Um, James…” He started slowly, “I’m gay” James rolled his eyes. 

“Yes I know that but she hates us!” This did not ease the confusion in Remus.

“Whose us?”

“Us Moony! The marauders!” James gestured between them. 

Remus laughed a hearty laugh as James was taken aback, “She’s my friend Prongs, like Marls or Mary” James’ expression softened a bit as he realised how he had been acting he rubbed his eyes and sat on a step, Remus placing himself next to him, “You really like her?” 

James didn’t lift his head from his hands as he attempted to stop the buzz from the alcohol. “No, I think she’s a dick” He stated matter-of-factly. He doesn’t know why he was so consumed by rage, just an hour ago he thought you were the most exquisite thing to walk the earth. 

Remus laughed at his friend once again he was infatuated with her. “Okay Prongs, whatever you say” He knew this was either going to end fantastically for James or terribly with his heart smashed into a million pieces but either way he’ll be there for him. 

“Moony?” James lifted his head.

“Hm?”

“How do you know her?”

“We have our study sessions together”

“Oh” James didn’t know what to do with this information. 

“Right” Remus stood, “I’m going back out there, you should too, don’t let it get you down” He said, James simply nodded yet made no effort to move. Remus simply sighed as he left his friend, hoping he would get out of whatever slump he is in now. 

-

James didn’t realise how much time had passed before he decided to rejoin the party, he stood to reenter the heaving room but didn't take a step as he watched you stumble into the quiet area he was sat in, giggling slightly as you righted yourself before you had noticed the curly haired boy staring from the step in front of you.

“Oop Sorry!” You giggled as you attempted to squeeze past him up the stairs. Something about your demeanor enraged James, so casual as if you hadn’t just embarrassed him entirely, he turned abruptly to face your retreating figure. 

“What is your problem?!” He exclaimed, causing you to stop dead in your tracks as you turned slowly to face him. 

“Excuse me?” You asked calmly, your hand rested on the bannister as you stood above him. 

“You don’t know anything about me, so what is your problem?” James repeated, something about you singling him out angered him and he couldn’t seem to stop himself. 

You scoffed. “I think you’re arrogant” You said simply as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, the alcohol making you braver that you usually would have been. “The world doesn’t revolve around you James”. He hated the way he felt when he heard his name fall from your lips, he couldn’t help but gaze at them before snapping himself back into reality. 

“That’s not fair, you have to give me a chance” he took a step up toward you, “at least to be your friend”.

“I don’t have to do anything”

“And I’m the arrogant one” James mumbled and rolled his eyes. 

Of course you heard him, that was hardly a mumble. “What was that?”

James took a few more steps up until he was level with you, he was so close that you could smell the firewhisky on his breath and you could feel the banister at your back as he leaned forward to grip it at your side a little bit to stop you from walking away from him but mostly to steady himself. 

“You’re no better than me, you’re just as selfish and arrogant, thinking you’re above everyone else.” He said, his voice low, James knew better than to speak to you like this but you got under his skin just so that he couldn’t help but vomit it out. 

You raised an eyebrow slowly as you crossed your arms, unfazed by his words knowing that would just set him off more. He was just showing you what you had known all along, “You think you’re above everyone else?” 

James closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, he had seemingly forgotten what his initial point was, he just wanted you to give him a chance but as you infuriated him more he wanted to have that chance less and less. 

Eventually, he opened his eyes to face yours, already staring into his. “Fuck you”

You chuckled, eyes unmoving “You’re a dick Potter”. With that you pushed past him towards your dorm and he let you leave him standing alone and filled with rage.

[jessebloom]

how it feels having to write what you want to read

[scuderiavale]

‘why do you read “various x reader stories?”’

first, i’m a narcissist and will not read it if it’s not about me

second, I love the feeling of people liking me

third, I was ignored as a child

[0angel-tears0]

I love letterboxd

[deedzreads]

when the author starts describing some fuck ass outfit that i’m supposedly wearing

[0angel-tears0]

PLEASE STOP WITH THE KNEE HIGH SOCKS

[0angel-tears0]

I Don't Know Who You Are

Pairing: Fem reader x Clark Kent!

Word count: 12.4k

Summary: Struggling with the day to day you find that your only escape from the stresses of life lie with your boyfriend, Clark. But when Clark begins to pull away and Superman seems to show up more you begin to question how closely related the two are.

Content Warning: Clark is sad! Only for a moment though, suggestive themes, swearing, minors DNI! Angst.

A/N: Probably past the Superman hype but I don't care, I just love this man so much that when I started writing everything just poured out of me. This was so fun to write! and I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did. It has been proofread but nobodies perfect, if there's anything I've missed please don't hesitate to let me know. Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated <3

“Mr. Kent”  Clark  winced as he sat down in his chair, slowly, hoping to go unnoticed. You, of course, noticed.

“Miss Y/L/N “ He spun in his chair to look up at you hoping that the fake confidence would help it seem like he had been there all morning. You were standing behind him, arms folded with amusement written all over your face. 

“Late again?” You say, more teasing than an actual observation, it is a very rare occurrence that Clark was on time and the fact that you started later than him yet were always there before him gave you great fuel to be constantly calling him up on it.

“Well, firstly, I got you a coffee, sweetheart.” you gave him a sweet smile, scanning him for the drink which he didn’t seem to have. He noticed your dismay and continued on, “I spilt it” You shook your head at him not dropping your smile “ I-I had some exclusives for Perry and I fell asleep on them last night so I thought why not have a coffee and, boy bad idea, that just went everywhere and then this morning-“ You let him ramble on, laughing at his slight panic. It did seem like he had an absolute nightmare of a morning. Clark was one to speak with his hands a lot, they were always moving which probably didn’t help with how clumsy he was. You couldn’t help but watch them as he spoke so passionately with his big palms and thick, long fingers… “and then the dog just lifted its leg and peed on me, so casually, like he was out to get me” he finished off the recall of his morning causing you to snap out of your daze, his glasses were askew slightly on his face which added to the messiness of his whole atmosphere along with his slightly damp hair. 

You giggled at his remark, “I don't think the dog was out to get you Clark, I think he just needed to pee and you are the size of a tree” you reached forward and fixed his glasses for him. 

“You didn't see the look in its eyes” He shook his head as he stared off into the distance like he was having a horror flashback. 

You giggled at him and moved to his side, leaning on a free area of his desk (hard to find, the man was a mess) and he snapped out of his moment to lean back in his chair to watch you move. Seeing you at the start of the day seemed to become his moment of peace in his world of chaos and after the actual events of his evening he yearned for that peace now more than ever. He swivelled around as his eyes followed your figure. The movement caused your skirt to pull up, not to inappropriate levels but only just slightly, enough for Clark to quickly flick his eyes to the exposed skin and back to your face. You stand close, your legs basically touching Clarks, almost instinctively his hand reaches out to caress the skin of your thigh, your eyes widen at the touch as you quickly brush his hand off.  

“Clark! Come on” Your eyes shoot up to your coworkers who are thankfully busily working away Clark simply chuckles at your response, you wanted to brush it off as he forgot where was,but something about his low chuckle made you think he was just being cheeky and messing with you. 

You rolled your eyes playfully at his response as he decided to move the conversation onto something more work friendly rather than saying what he actually wanted to. “How was the club last night?” you sighed at the question which led him to follow up “Ooo, not good?” as he gave you a sympathetic look. 

You simply shook your head, “The club was great, good food, drinks, atmosphere” He nodded along placing his elbow up on the arm of his chair for his head to rest on, “But… the band gave nothing, they’re not gonna get anywhere if they keep singing about doing drugs in their moms basement at speakeasies” 

“So they should switch up their music?” He questions you as if he genuinely enjoys speaking to you, nodding along, watching your lips with every word or staring into your eyes, and he definitely does enjoy it. Everything Clark does is genuine and when you first met him that made you feel scrutinised you felt like you could never be as kind hearted as he was, like you never deserved the love he was so willing to give. But now, you’ve learnt to love it. If you compare your work to some of the things other journalists cover then it's no wonder why no one's bothered about what you write. But Clark is, he cares, and listens, truly listens. That’s probably what drew you to him in the first place. 

“Either that or switch their venue to something less relaxed, they’re just kids, I mean they can work their way to the slower tragic music when they’re old, wrinkly and alone” This made Clark chuckle, his chair leaning back slightly with the movement of his chest. 

“Are you gonna be old and alone ?” You knew what he was asking, he’s brought it up before in a not so subtle Clark Kent way, you’d only been dating for 6 months at this point but you could pick up on his hints, what he truly meant was ‘are you gonna be old with me?’, you snorted at the question, choosing to ignore the underlying hints. 

“Not if Superman keeps launching alien creatures at my apartment block” Just last week Superman ensued in one of his battles, of course you were grateful for the save but it unfortunately meant that when you woke up that morning your usual commute to work was a pile of rubble, you’ve had to bike to work everyday since which hasn’t added a ton of time but it’s 20 minutes you would rather spend in bed. 

“I don’t think Superman intends to make your day harder” Clark says and you roll your eyes at his remark, of course he would say that. 

You scoffed “Well I‘m sorry for having an issue with your buddys methods”

Clark didn’t appreciate that tone “Woah- hey he’s not my buddy” he is instantly on defence and he is unusually sharp about it this time, it caught you off guard and he could see it flicker through your eyes. Sure you’ve spoken about Superman before, when you first became friends you had healthy debates about his carelessness and his debt in property damage but he saved lives so at the end of the day that was all that mattered. But this time was different, something about Clark was different it was like he wasn’t trying to debate with you but rather convince you.  

“Of course he is, Clark” you reply just as sharply toned as him, “how else do you manage to interview him when no one can?” 

Clark doesn’t reply, of course he doesn’t he is always the one to just brush things off and you’re always the one to let him but something seemed off about his demeanor this time. He simply shook his head, leant forward to his desk and started sorting through some files. You take this as your cue to leave, sighing as you push off from his desk Clark instantly stops you, he quickly grabs your wrist, forcing you to retake a step back and once again feel his desk on the back of your legs, still warm from where you were just resting. 

“Hey, are we still on for dinner later?” His eyes are looking up at you, worried, has he upset you with all this talk about superman? He knew you were pretty upset when he caused all that damage but he thought you were over it now and actually enjoyed your new commute. 

You smiled down at him and patted his large hand which encompassed your wrist, you definitely felt the air between you shift from the light conversation you had just ten minutes ago but you didn’t know how or why. You weren’t annoyed with Clark, you were annoyed at Superman, or because of Superman, you weren’t sure but either way it wasn’t Clark’s fault. “Course honey.” You replied, your voice so low that it was almost a whisper 

Clark let out a slight sigh of relief as he released you, your smile was evident but it didn’t reach your eyes, he didn’t believe you but he knew he would try with everything he had to make it up to you tonight. Really, Clark just wanted to hug you and hold you tight and tell you everything but he knew how much harder it would be, he hated sneaking around (even though you were both hardly sneaking at this point) but it was what you thought was best “The more people know the more complicated it all gets “ you had said and he just couldn’t bring himself to disagree with you, he was the one hiding a superhuman alter ego so how could he refuse?

-

Later that evening you were stuck trying to wrap up this article but you just couldn’t find the words and it was getting dangerously close to your dinner with Clark, you considered cancelling but feared that would worry him about your… let’s say blip, earlier today. Most of the office was empty except for a few interns and another journalist. Lucas? You think. Having only spoken to him a handful of times you were unsure of his name, he worked out of office most of the time as a field reporter and remained behind a stack of paper on the rare occurrence he was in. You stood from your desk and wandered over to his, “Hey, I’m gonna do a coffee run, can I get you anything?” 

A head of sandy blonde hair snapped up at your voice, he met your eyes and smiled back at you, thankful for the conversation. “Yeah, please, I could do with a break from this”.

You nodded, “how would you like it - your coffee I mean” You added that last part quickly not wanting to imply anything, he noticed and you could tell he was stifling a laugh. 

“Black, three sugars, thanks” His smile was sweet and you nodded once, turning towards the break room, beginning your mission. Once you reached the break room you opened a large cupboard and scoured its contents for the perfect mug until one caught your eye and made you chuckle. It was a normal size mug, the bottom half was dipped in blue and on the rim there were letters imprinted which spelt out ‘Lucas’ you grabbed the mug praying that was his name. 

- 

It had gotten to a point where you had just decided it was useless to keep trying with this article, you should come back tomorrow with fresh eyes. Besides you didn’t want to be late for dinner, it was Clark's turn to cook and you’re always intrigued by what he whips up. You logged off for the day and  swivelled around completely to face the desk of your newly made buddy, the interns now long gone. “Hey, I’m gonna be heading out for the night,” this was new territory he was usually gone by the time you decided to leave the office.

“Er, yeah, I’ll just go with you” With a few taps on his keyboard and clicks of  his mouse he stood grabbing his bag and began piling various notes and papers into it. You stood and began doing the same, buckling up your satchel and walking over to his desk as slung his own bag over his shoulder, and joined you on your exit. 

You could both tell as you approached the door it was dark outside, but there were a few unusual flashes of light and distant commotion. You sighed, knowing this wasn’t going to be good. Lucas seemed unsure about exiting as he hurriedly grabbed your bicep to stop you. “Hey maybe we should find another way” His eyes met yours, it was surprisingly easy to talk to him, you had done for most of the night, knowing that both of you were procrastinating but neither cared. 

“I’m sure it’s fine, let's just have a look at what's going on and see what our options are” For someone currently beefing him you seemed to have some sort of innate trust in Superman, knowing that no doubt he is out there trying to take down the threat. Lucas nodded shakily, he was clearly someone who spent a lot of time out of metropolis (not like that was a bad thing). Giving his hand that remained on your bicep a reassuring squeeze before he let go and you both pushed the large doors open. There was nothing, no lights, no threat, no Superman. Lucas breathed a sigh of relief as you looked up at him. “See, nothing to worry about” You said, gesturing to the empty street around you “It was probably some silent disco parading the streets”

“Yeah, maybe I am just a bit too cautious” he let out a breathy laugh as you gave him a reassuring smile before walking across the street to where your bike was safely locked away, the plan was to free your bike, walking it back over, say your goodbyes and make your way home. But you didn’t even manage to get a step in before Lucas had lunged out to you, he grabbed both your shoulders and yanked you back into him as a large piece of concrete tore through the street in front of you closely followed by what seemed to be a large tentacle of sorts scraping it up as it was launched down the street and far into the distance. The collusion caused both you and Lucas to be thrown back as you landed on your asses, his hitting the sidewalk yours smacking onto Lucas’ lap (classic cliche) but you had no time to worry about that as Lucas used his larger body to turn you to the side and crowd you in which protected you from any other falling debris. You both remained like that for a while, to be sure, your breaths were uneven and adrenaline was pumping through your veins. Slowly you pulled yourself out of Lucas’ arms and off of his lap to stand. You looked down at the poor man whose face was red with his eyes wide, bag strewn across him and dust in his hair, and offered a hand to help him up which he gladly took.

“You didn’t have to do that” You said as you pulled him up, “Protect me like that” He grounded himself, his hand still gripping yours. 

He smiled at you, still huffing but trying to keep it together “er- I guess it was just instinct” he wiped his sweaty hands nervously on his trousers

“Well, thank you” you looked into his eyes, how can someone be so kind to someone they barely know? What is in the water in this city? It reminded you of when you first met Clark and before you could realise that you were going to be late you heard a voice from the sky.

“Are you both alright?” You jumped, pulling your hand from Lucas’, which you didn’t realise you were still holding, and the both of you looked up at the owner of the voice. Superman. 

Lucas was completely in awe as he floated down and gracefully landed in front of the pair. “Er y-yes, fine, sir” Lucas stuttered under the larger man's gaze turning to you to escape it “Are you okay?” he placed a hand on your back comfortingly as you nodded at him. 

“Yeah fine.” You looked up at the man before you whose gaze bored into you in return and then over to your bike, or rather where your bike was. “You have got to be kidding me” you said as you stared at the ripped up sidewalk and pieces of metal that were strewn. Your head snapped straight back to Superman knowing exactly who to blame, you did it so forcefully that for a minute you thought he actually winced. “Seriously?!”

“Miss Y/L/N-” He raised his hands to defend himself but he didn’t get very far before you cut him off.

“How do you know my name?” You narrowed your eyes at him. 

“Mr Kent has mentioned you a few times”, That caught you off guard, Clark talks about you to Superman? 

“Clark said you weren’t buddies” you folded your arms, the way you spoke to him was not like a metahuman or alien, like a person, like someone you were already so familiar with. Especially the way he said your name, it brought you back to that morning seeing Clark stumble in late once again with papers billowing from his arms, his glasses askew on his face. 

Before Superman could reply Lucas reminded you of his presence, “Wait Clark Kent?” you turned to look at him, “the front page dweller? That guy is like my hero” he said before awkwardly gripping the strap of his bag and looking back at the actual hero in front of him, “other- other than you of course, you know he’s like my journalism hero not like-” You cut him off before he could ramble more.

“Yeah Lucas, that Clark Kent” you gave him a pat on the back and he got the hint to shut up. “Who I actually have dinner plans with so if you’ll excuse me” you went to bid goodbye to Lucas but Superman stopped you.

“At least let me escort you home” He offered, clearly feeling bad about the situation.

“No, thank you” You replied, it seemed to come out a bit harsher than usual, “I don’t like flying”.

“Well I can walk you” He replied, with just a hint of sassiness that you didn’t much appreciate.

“I’m good”

Lucas piped up again, “I can walk you”, the both of you stopped your back and forth and looked at him, “I recognised your bike, I’ve seen it chained up by my apartment, I don’t think I live far from you” Considering you have never had a conversation longer than 2 minutes with this guy before you should have been alarmed by the fact that he basically knew where you lived, but you decided to push that deep down and agree deciding it was probably easier to make conversation with him rather than Superman. What would you talk about anyway… space?

“Okay sure” You nodded and turned to the large man before you, he looked hurt, you thought you recognised the pang of pain in his eyes, you brushed it off as your imagination. “Well, Mister Superman, thank you for not hitting us with a building”. Superman nodded his head.

“My pleasure, sweetheart” He gave you a solemn smile and nodded his head at Lucas before flying up and away.

You turned to Lucas and let out a lengthy breath, “Well, I would like to formally apologise for putting you in danger”, this caused Lucas to chuckle at you. 

“It’s fine,” he said as he nudged your shoulder causing you to smile at him. “Come on” and you both turned, walking away from the spot the metahuman had just left. 

- 

You hadn't even realised you reached your apartment block when you did, your mind had been so focused on him, Superman. Why did he seem so familiar? Why did he remind you of Clark so much? The way he said your name, the way he said “Sweetheart” with a flash of that heroic smile. “This you?” Lucas snapped you out of your deep thinking as you quickly unfurrowed your brow and looked up at him.

“Er- Yeah, this is me” You smiled at him, awkwardly fiddling with the buckles on your bag. “So, thanks for… well everything tonight.”

He smiles, looking down, “It's fine, I’ll see you around?”

You give him a sweet grin before he turns to leave, disappearing down the dark street. 

Inside your apartment, the lights are dim. You creep in quietly, slowly taking your shoes off and lock the front door. You don’t even get through the laces of your boots before Clark appears breathless, his sleeves are rolled up with the top buttons of his shirt undone and his tie nowhere in sight. He quickly envelopes you in a hug, squeezing you so tight like he’s afraid that you’ll disappear if he lets go. “God, where have you been? I saw the news about something Superman was fighting right outside the office.” He held your face in his hands, scanning over it to check for any bumps or bruises before giving you a kiss on your forehead and bringing you in for another hug.”I was so worried, sweetheart.” There it was again, gnawing at the back of your mind. 

You pull your head from his chest and look up at him. You lean up and give him a quick kiss. “I’m okay” You say, feeling him loosen the tension in his arms around you. You both stand like that for a while before Clark releases you, allowing you to settle as he heats and dishes up the risotto he made. He claimed he was going to make breakfast for dinner (once again) but at the last minute decided to switch up, so he was profusely apologising for how terrible it might be. Once changed and cleaned up you joined him in your living room hungrily grabbing the bowl of food from him “Thank you, I’m starved”.

“So what happened?” He asked as he shoved a spoonful in his own mouth.

“Mm, what do you mean,” You say looking at him, god this man knows how to cook. 

“Did you finish your piece? Or is the office in ruins?” You chuckled at this, taking another greedy bite before replying.

“No, the office is fine. I just couldn't finish it. I kept getting stuck so I just called it a night” He nodded, urging you to go on. “I just stepped out of the office and almost had a building dropped on me-” You hesitated, you didn’t know if Lucas was worth mentioning you didn't know how Clark would react. Nothing happened but you’ve had a fair share of boyfriends who have dumped you for less. “Luckily Lucas was there and he managed to grab me before anything major.”

Clark did of course pick up on it. “Lucas? The field reporter?” You nodded, trying to read him, you’ve stopped eating without realising.  “I didn’t know you were close”.

“We’re not” you shook your head, “we just happened to both be the last out.”

Clark nodded slowly, you struggled to gauge his reaction you couldn’t tell if it was all going to blow up in your face or not. He placed his bowl and utensils down on your coffee table, the way that man hoovers food always amazes you, He then leaned back and placed his arm around your shoulders, pressing a sweet kiss to your temple, “As long as you’re back here safe with me, that’s all that matters” he said lowly, almost like you were a secret he wanted to keep to himself. He then leaned over with his other arm and placed his large hand over your thigh, giving it a squeeze, “Come on, eat up, you’ll need it after today” You nodded your head, your hunger coming back to you as you started golfing down your risotto and copying Clark's movements of placing the bowl on your coffee table, not ready to clean up your dishes yet you leant back into Clark's arm which was now draped across the back of your sofa.

“I also think that he might have a small crush on you, front page dweller” You said teasing Clark with Lucas’ words from earlier causing him to roll his eyes and smile at you. 

“Well tell him I’m sorry to break his heart but I only belong to you” Clark replied as he lifted your chin slightly to place a soft kiss on your lips. 

“There was something else that happened” you said quietly as you parted and faced the television which was quietly showing re-runs of some old seventies programme. You played mindlessly with his fingers that rested on your thigh.

“Mhm?” Clark replied, the day had worn him out, his head was resting lazily atop of yours. 

“I met Superman” You said as he slowly lifted his head. 

“Did you give him a piece of your mind?” He chuckled out recounting your frustration about your bike earlier but also to cover his slight panic, had you figured it out? 

“I was going to…”

“But?”

“But then he said you mentioned me to him” You felt Clark nod behind you “and he called me sweetheart, that's… weird right?” You asked shifting slightly to look at him and gather his reaction. 

“I mean, he could be saying it in a comforting way?” His face contorted into confusion as he was trying to read between your words, but there was something else underneath that he had hidden away and his confusion seemed to match that of an amateur actor who didn’t know the meaning of the word.

You sat back into his arms once again, “Yeah maybe I should take it as a compliment.”

What you didn't see was the relief that spread over Clark's face as he was released from your scrutinising gaze, silently cursing himself for the slip up that he just knew would come back to bite him in the ass. He leaned down and gave you a kiss under your ear and then further down your neck, “Don’t tell me you’re gonna leave me for Superman sweetheart” he mumbled into your skin, his hand moving ever so slightly up your thigh as he continued his attack on your neck.

“Oh I could never!” You sat up a cheeky smile adorning your face as you turned to straddle him placing your hands across his board chest, Clark's hands immediately gripping your waist. “You know I hate flying”. He grinned at your response as you leaned down to give him a deep kiss. 

-

The next morning you awoke with Clark's arms holding your torso tight, your back against his bare chest. Saturday morning, what would usually be a break from work became a day of endless typing and looking over notes but at least you could do it in the comfort of your own home. You lifted Clark’s arm and raised it into the sunlight that seeped through your window as you gave his hand a sweet kiss, earning a low grunt from him in your ear. You slowly rose from the bed after unwrapping yourself trying your best not to wake him as you put on one of his shirts that lay strewn across your bedroom floor, god he was a large man, the shirt was basically a dress. Slap on a pair of heels and you could wear it to the club. 

You made it to your kitchen without waking him and began making your morning coffee, with only two thin french doors separating yourself and him trying to do this quietly proved a challenge especially with how lightly he sleeps, you were surprised that you hadn’t woken him already. 

With your coffee made you sat at your mess of a kitchen counter and opened up your laptop, your fingers eagerly tapped away at the keys as you felt the coffee surge the information out of you. You didn’t think you had been sitting there long before you felt two large arms wrap around your shoulders and Clarks head came to rest atop yours but not before leaving a small kiss in your hair. 

“Come on sweetheart it's our weekend, let’s go back to bed” He spoke lazily as if he just awoke and immediately searched for you, and he probably did.

You finished off the paragraph you were working on before you saved and spun on your chair to face him. God he was tall, he towered over you a dozy smile gracing his face as he held your waist, dipping his head to kiss you, he probably hadn’t even brushed his teeth yet, but you didn’t care as you returned the kiss. His lips were still on yours as he snaked an arm around your waist and lifted you, using his other arm to carefully push your work aside as he placed you on the counter. Finally being at almost level height with you allowed him to deepen the kiss as his tongue graced your bottom lip and you opened up for him. Having done this dance a million times before you were very familiar with the taste of Clark lips on yours and how he felt against you, and you were a sucker for it every time. 

He pulled away breathing heavily as he began leaving sloppy kisses down your neck coaxing a quiet moan from you as your arms wrapped around his frame. His hand remained at your waist while the other came to rest on your thigh squeezing every so often earning another, deeper moan from you. God how he loved hearing those noises leave your lips, he loved everything about you and he absolutely adored your thighs he was thankful for the hot summer where you would spend most of the day in tight skirts or little shorts he couldn’t express in words what that did to him he just loved to grab at them any chance he got. Clark nipped just below your collarbone causing you to breathe out and lean back slightly offering him more as your hands moved up to tangle in his hair tugging lightly which earned a low groan from him as he refocused himself back onto your lips while his hand moved from your waist to cup your breast, his hand easily slipping through the gap in your shirt as he played with your nipple and that caused something to stir between your legs. The both of you were a mess in your apartment, the noises of your bodies moving together filling the air.

Well, those and the newscaster speaking at quiet volumes from the television behind Clark, “We have breaking news from the rising tensions between the countries of Boravia and Jarhanpur, President Vasil Ghurkos has declared to launch a full scale invasion of the neighbouring country”. Clark suddenly slowed, he pulled away and rested his hands back onto your hips.

By the time you had opened your eyes and realised he was no longer attempting to shove his tongue down your throat (or anywhere else for that matter), Clark has his head turned, he was still holding you but his eyes were fixated on the man on the tv who was angrily waving his fist.

“We will not rest until we have freed the Jarhanpurians from their tyrannical regime!” You rolled your eyes at the man as your pulled yourself out of the grip of Clark, he turned his head back round to you almost like he could hear the roll of your eyes, and he watched as you moved yourself off your kitchen counter, your bare skin stuck slightly to it with the heat as you pulled yourself off. 

“Well, he would say that” You grabbed the remote from the coffee table as you turned the volume up slightly Clark joined you as you both stood intently watching the scene unfold before you. Sure you probably had a more personal agenda against the man now since he interrupted your make out session, but that is a little bit on you for putting on the news in earshot of your journalist boyfriend. 

“When do you think they’ll do it?” He asked as his hands came up to rub your shoulders yet his eyes remained fixed forward. You shook you head.

“I don’t know, soon probably” after his speech was done the tv flickered back to the news anchor who began talking about other news, Superman's most recent save. You groaned and turned the volume back down, chucking the remote onto your sofa and deciding to get back to your work. Clark made himself comfortable on the sofa as he found the remote and turned the volume back up wanting to hear what the tv had to say about Superman. 

“Still not a big fan?” You huffed in reply, how couldn’t you be a fan of him, he was a superhuman who saved countless lives everyday.

“I’m not a fan of my property being destroyed” You said while logging into your laptop which had obviously timed out.

“Whats a few buildings against the lives of the people of metropolis?” You shook your head, neither of you seemed to have a good time when discussing Superman, Clark thought it was quite brave of him to bring it up in the first place but if he was going to tell you, and do this thing right, he needed you to ease up on him because he knew you and he knew that him being Superman wouldn’t just allow you to forgive him for the months of hiding and sneaking around you. He remembered early on that you actually thought he was cheating on you. Clark! Of all people. 

He loved you, but he knew he couldn’t tell you until he knew for sure you loved all of him. 

What Clark didn’t realise is that you were already trying to piece it together. Clark being Superman was not possible at all, unless the idea was so ridiculous that it was possible. You had spent most of the night thinking of the times that Clark had to spontaneously cancel plans because he got the flu… in July, or when he said he had to have a quick trip home to visit his parents but when you could hear him on the phone you heard them saying they hadn’t seen him in months. Every time Clark was gone, Superman was there, and then last night “Sweetheart” with that heroic smirk rang through your mind. But something was blocking you, something you couldn’t see, and you had to be absolutely sure.

You simply sighed, “I’m not having this conversation again Clark” You said while tapping away, “bikes coming outta my paycheck anyway” You muttered quietly under your breath. Clark heard it, of course he heard it. He lulled his head back and rubbed his hands over his face being very careful not to knock off his glasses.

“My god if it’s about the darn bike then I’ll buy a new one for you” He raised his voice slightly and shot up from where he was sitting as you quickly spun to face him, Clark had never spoken to you like that, frustrated, angry. You were stunned to say the least.

“It's not” you said quietly, you both remained still for what felt like hours, staring into each other's eyes. His eyes were darkened and solemn swimming with raw emotion he refused to let out. He huffed before moving into the bedroom and grabbing some socks.

“I need to go” was all he said. You should’ve said something, should have stopped him. But you couldn’t move a single limb as you watched him pull a black shirt over his head, put on his shoes and slam the door shut. It was only when you heard the latch lock that you breathed. 

“FUCK!” You shouted out as you shoved your head in your hands. Why didn’t you stop him?

-

3 days went by, you didn’t try to call Clark. You thought that maybe he needed the space and you could see him again come Monday morning, scrambling in late as always with his files billowing from his arm as coffee stained his hands from where it had dripped out caused by his rushing and his glasses, those glasses. The ones that always rested slightly off on his face, the glasses that in six months you never saw him without. 

But you didn’t see Clark rush in late that morning, no messy hair, no faint smell of morning donuts which he occasionally brought in especially after a fight (not that you had those often). As you were gazing longingly at his desk with a furrowed brow and a pen absentmindedly twirling around your finger, You didn’t see Lois approach and you didn’t see the knowing look she gave you. “Couples quarrel?” She asked once she got to your desk, snapping you out of your daze. 

You looked up at her, “I don’t kno- “ You cut yourself short before you said any more, “We’re not a couple” You said bringing the pen to your lips and biting down on the end nervously as if that would erase your slip up. This just made Lois roll her eyes but she decided to not push any further. 

“So where is Clark?” She asked, glancing over to his chair. You decided to relax a bit, Lois made it obvious she knew something so why bother trying to hide it.

“I don’t know” you shook your head. Almost as if it was like you summoned him, Clark stumbled into the bullpen, not exactly as you imagined him, he was more put together, but he still rushed over to his desk. Before you even had a chance to say anything Lois spoke up.

“Speak of the devil, and just where have you been?” She folded her arms as she half mockingly glared at him. Clark turned to look at Lois, he briefly met your eyes before going back to Lois. 

“Erm I overslept” He said as he moved quickly to unpack his bag and get set up hoping that Perry hadn’t noticed his absence. 

“Its the middle of the day” Lois pushed further, “ - and we have been worried sick!” she had a mocking motherly tone to her voice which made you stifle a slight laugh at her.

“Oh have you now?” Clark said he stared straight at you, he had an undertone of bitterness amongst his words which forced you to remain silent. As you simply scoffed, shook your head and focused back onto your own screen. Sure you hadn’t tried to contact him but you didn’t know what to say if you should have even apologised at all and if you did, what would you even say? ‘Sorry for insulting your buddy Superman, I just missed my bike and I’m lazy’? How ridiculous.  

Lois sensing the awkwardness, decided to wrap up her conversation and wander back to her own desk. 

Clark suddenly felt horrendous, nauseous even. He glanced back at you and shook his head. He didn’t mean to upset you and he swore he was gonna come right back to your apartment. He wanted to kiss you and make up for yelling. It wasn’t him or who he was, his Ma raised him better. Trying to hide this from you really was beginning to take its toll on him.

He finally worked up the courage to talk to you, he didn’t want to avoid you or you to do the same, he just wanted to feel you in his arms again. So he stood and walked straight over to the break room. He grabbed your mug, which funnily enough was a plain white mug with the superman emblem printed on one side he got for you as a gag gift which you found hilarious, he never really agreed with the Superman merch but he never wanted any of the profit and if it made you laugh like that how could he resist?

Clark chuckled at the memory thinking how perfect it would have been if he had just told you then. He poured in the coffee and plopped two sugars into the mug grabbing two milk packets before leaving and making his way over to you. By the time he got back he noticed you weren't at your desk. The confused look on his face must have been obvious because Jimmy had leant back in his chair holding a phone in one hand away from his ear with the other hand covering the microphone as he let out a low whistle to get Clark's attention and once he saw him Jimmy jerked his head once to the left before leaning back towards his desk and continuing with his phone call. 

Clark followed the motion of his head until he found you, not at your desk but at someone else's. Lucas’. Clark quickly sat back down at his own desk, leaving your mug next to him as he pretended for a moment that he didn’t just stare at you from across the bullpen. What was Lucas even doing here? He spent most of his time out and Clark hardly saw him. 

Clark wasn’t a jealous man, god no, he knew you were beautiful he also knew you were his. But he couldn't help but feel something tighten in his chest as he watched you from his desk, hands on your hips as you leant forward, eyes squinting at Lucas’ screen as he spoke to you. You were close to him, impossibly close. He remembered the other night, seeing your hand in his, his hand on your back, you walking away with him. Clark turned back to his own work and squeezed his eyes shut, he would send himself into a spiral if he kept watching you but he could hear you, hear your laughter. He did his best to shut it out wrapping his arms over his ears but he couldn’t, he couldn’t shut you out.

“You okay?” He jumped at the sudden closeness as he snapped his head up from his hands. There you stood, with him.

“Y-yeah, I got this for you” He said as he lifted the mug, now full of cold coffee, for you to take. A smile spread across your face as you took a sip with whispered thanks and Clark just melted at the sight of you. “Can we talk?” He stood from his desk clumsily knocking into it as he did so. You nodded your head as you walked back over to your own desk to place your mug down and followed Clark looking briefly at your coworkers to see if anyone was watching you, you didn’t want to give them any more fuel. 

He led you down an empty corridor before opening the door to the stationary cupboard. It was a tight fit, Clark barely managed to get in as you looked at him, “Seriously?”

Clark huffed, “It’s fine baby, come on”. The pet name sent a flutter through you even now he still called you sweet names and you gave in. While it was a struggle you had eventually joined him in the small dim space. You could feel his breath fan your face and it took everything in Clark not to grab you and run his hands all over you right there as you looked up at him expectantly, but his hands remained stiff at his sides.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry - , it was a ridiculous thing to get angry over and I should never have raised my voice at you like that” Clark took a chance and held your hand and you let him, watching as he brought it to his lips and placed a soft kiss.

“I’m sorry too Clark, I don’t care about my bike, I just guess…” you paused, not being able to find the right words. “I think I’m just scared. What if one day he can’t save everyone and you get hurt or-or worse you dont-” You can’t seem to finish the thought but Clark understands, you were never truly worried about the damage, you didn’t know where Clark was half the time you just didn’t want to see him hurt, or worse.

Clark held your face in his hands as he looked deeply into your eyes, they welled slightly with tears and his heart broke. He bent his head as his lips met yours, it was soft and tender and when you pulled apart you stayed with your foreheads resting against each other in a quiet moment that was only for the two of you.

- 

The weekend finally lulled around and you were excited, you planned to spend all of your free time with Clark. It had been so long since you managed to have him all to yourself for a while and you had a few ideas on how to pass the time. But as you were making your way back from the breakroom you caught Clark’s eyes, uncovered by the glasses that never left his face. You held your breath for what you thought was a millisecond but it was long enough for Clark to catch your eye and hurriedly shove his black frames back on.

You knew, surely you knew. Clark saw it, how could he be so stupid? He took his glasses off so quickly just to rub his eyes, the aching of his bones and tiredness got to him and he forgot where he was. When he put them back on he could feel eyes burning into him, he looked over his monitor and caught you, coffee in hand, wide eyed. When he made eye contact you let out a small squeak before rushing back to your desk, not acknowledging him as you passed. 

You quickly engaged in some rapid typing at your desk hoping Clark wouldn’t approach. Your short investigation of whether or not your boyfriend was Superman seemed to end abruptly when even for a split second he removed those glasses. The glasses, of course. No wonder he never took them off, not even during sex; you felt stupid and began questioning yourself, maybe you were just seeing things? Maybe you need glasses. You looked up from your desk at Clark who was already looking at you, it was a wonder either of you got any work done with how much time you spent staring at each other. You sent him a sweet smile, nothing was wrong and you didn’t see anything, Clark smiled back and you went back to gaze at your monitor with your brows furrowed. If anyone walked past they would guess that you were focusing like crazy but you were really trying to figure out what you do. Do you bring it up to him? Would he be mad? Are you mad? Of course you are, why wouldn’t he have told you? You’ve met his parents but not his secret identity, did he not trust you. You guys just made up too, you groaned, your head began to throb at the mess of thoughts. What if it was just a mistake, a trick of the light and what happens if you bring it up to him and he isn’t Superman or worse if he is. 

“Hey sweetheart” Clarks low voice pulls you out of your spiraling as you look up at him, standing over you looking slightly panicked as he had his phone clutched to his chest.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah i just had a doctor's appointment I forgot about” He didn’t mean to worry you, he didn’t even know why he was keeping up with this facade but what else could he do, “I have to run, I don’t think I’ll make dinner tonight”. You nodded your head slowly not still quite processing his words, did he really have an appointment?

“Um sure, did you want me to leave you a plate?” Both of you were so unsure of the conversation, Lois winced, it was actually painful for her to watch.

“Yes, please darling that would be great” you nodded as he turned to grab his bags and rush out the door, Perry shouting something inaudible at him as he ran past.

“What the hell was that?” Lois made you jump as she stood from across you.

“What do you mean?” You tried to brush it off but Lois just shook her head, before she could retort Cat jumped up from beside her. 

“I agree, that was a difficult watch” Your eyes widened as you quickly turned behind you to be sure that she was actually in front of you and sure enough her desk was empty, did she sneak over or had she just been next to Lois the whole time?

“What- nothing was difficult about it” You said, you knew it was a lie.

“Um everything was”

“Are you mad at him?”

“Is he mad at you?”

“Are you guys actually dating?”

“Course they are! he called her Darling”

“Does he actually have a doctor's appointment?”

“I mean what is going on with you two?”

The two women bombarded you, speaking so quickly and over one another that you didn’t even know how to respond. 

“Guys!” You raised your voice slightly, cutting off their incessant rambling as you quickly looked around hoping to avoid the attention of anyone else in the office - Jimmy -. “Nothing is going on between me and Clark” you whispered harshly.

This made Lois roll her eyes, similarly to how she had done at you earlier that week as she made eye contact with Cat the both of them having a silent conversation that you did not understand nor like. 

“Ah I know!” Cat suddenly jumped up raising her hand in the air, “Lets have a girls night!” Lois sighed and you simply smiled. Before either of you could reply Jimmy interrupted his voice was almost shaky as he turned all three of yours attention to the tv, turning it up.

A news anchor sat above a large headline which read ‘SUPERMAN STOPS INVASION’. Your breath caught in your throat as you shot up out of your seat.

“Just hours ago we received word that the Boravian troops were heading to the Jarhanpur border, soon after Superman arrived putting a quick end to the invasion” The television spoke as you watched him fly through tanks and cars, soldiers attempted to shoot but you couldn't watch anymore, you couldn’t watch Clark get hurt. 

Silence filled the bullpen for a brief moment as everyone stood watching. Superman, a hero of metropolis, interfered in international politics. Who knows what this could mean. Suddenly, that moment was over as masses of noise overtook and everyone immediately got to work, “WHAT ARE YOUR SOURCES?” you heard someone shout from across the office, “Get me the journalist who ran that now!” you heard from somewhere else, but you couldn’t move, you looked up at the women in front of you who were quickly discussing before separating but before Cat could leave you stopped her, “You know what Cat? A girls night sounds great”. Cat squealed, clapping her hands before she ran back to her desk.

Lois looked at you, you couldn’t quite tell what she meant by it but you just shrugged, sat back down and got to work. 

Later that evening you were leaving the Daily Planet with Cat and Lois at your sides, “So where are we going?” Cat clung onto your arm excitement was just radiating from her and it kinda made you excited too, you haven’t had a girls night out in a while, the last one ending in tears as Cats boyfriend broke up with her because the bar you all ended up in was a Metropolis Meteors one (which he hated). You and Lois were silently glad though you both hated the guy. 

“Well I need to go home and change first Cat”, you said and Lois nodded in agreement.

“Yeah me too” Her mouth full of the bagel she was too busy to eat at lunch that day. 

“Well I could go out in this” Cat said before gasping with another idea, “Hey - , why don't we go back to yours? We can have dinner, get dressed, you don’t mind loaning clothes to Lois right?” Cat was loving how all these plans were falling into place right before her. You shook your head. 

“Of course I don’t mind.” You’ve loaned clothes to Lois plenty of times, sure she was notoriously bad at returning them, but she would always give back the expensive heels or dresses. You understood, head reporter was a busy title and she was always apologetic when she lost the top that had been gone so long you questioned whether you owned it in the first place. 

When the three of you managed to clamber into your apartment Cat got to work, “- why don’t you get started on dinner and Lois and I will raid your Closet!” she dragged Lois over to your bedroom excited she was finally able to give Lois a makeover.

“Yes ma’am” You replied as you got some ingredients for a simple carbonara out - a great pre-drinks meal by the way. By the time you were done, Cat wasn’t even halfway finished, only just deciding on shoes.

The three of you sat and ate dinner together, you realised how much you had missed this, just sitting and chatting, being able to relax and not worry about your next deadline. Once you were done Lois insisted on washing up, you tried to fight it but she is the most stubborn woman you know and once she was up Cat was dragging you to your closet making you realise the real intentions behind Lois’ kind actions. 

You sat on your bed as Cat kept bringing out various dresses and heels you didn’t want to wear any of them, you thought back to a few days ago when you wore Clarks shirt… that was still here. “Ooo!! Okay how about this one?” Cat pulled out a short deep blue dress, the neck was scooped and the back was open. A single strap around the neck held the whole piece up. You smiled at the dress, remembering when you wore it last, on a date with Clark, he was stunned by you and couldn’t keep his hands off you all night even trying to end the evening early so he could take you home. You didn’t even know where he was, of course it wasn’t a doctor's appointment.

“Sure, I’ll wear that” you said as Cat giggled, she handed you the dress and dug back into your closet for shoes and something for Lois. By ten you three hit the town, Cat opted to give you some short red heels claiming that Superman wasn’t the only one who could rock those colours, you rolled your eyes at the irony. Lois ended up sporting a short black skirt with a black off the shoulder top and as much as Cat tried she couldn’t get her out of her Doc Martens. Cat was the only one who still wore her work attire but she could wear it well, she has rolled her pencil skirt so that it matched the other skirts and pulled her top down just a bit further, after borrowing some lipstick she was ready to go aweing you with how effortlessly she was able to turn herself around. 

“I’ll get us some drinks” Lois shouted in your ear once you entered the bar, the music too loud for you to have a normal conversation. Cat was already eyeing up potential suitors, twirling her blonde hair as she winked at someone. You groaned as you watched her be escorted away by some man and decided to go sit in a small booth by yourself, waiting for Lois. You knew this wasn’t a good idea, you were hoping that a girls night meant staying at home doing girly shit, not sitting alone in a bar with music bumping that even the movement from the speakers was giving you a headache. 

“Not a fan of bars?” You looked up to meet the eyes of the last person you expected to see here. 

“Lucas? Are you stalking me?” Lucas laughed, moving to sit across from you on the other side of the booth.

“Nah, just right place right time I guess” he smiled as he took a sip of his beer. 

You both sat there chatting for about ten minutes before Lois walked over balancing three drinks in her hands, “Sorry the bar was a nightmare”. She stopped short when she saw who you were talking to, “Oh did I interrupt?”

“Oh no, Lois, meet Lucas” You said, waving her off and introducing Lucas.

“Lucas, this is-”

“Lois Lane” Lucas stood abruptly as he cut your sentence short he shook Lois’ hand, his eyes shone with childlike wonder.

“I’m a big fan of your work Miss Lane, that piece you wrote on Luthocorp, unreal” He did a chef’s kiss motion with his fingers and Lois smiled sweetly at him.

“Well, thank you Lucas, and please call me Lois,” she replied as she took a seat next to you. There was a beat of silence before Lucas finished off his beer. 

“I should probably go and find my friends” You nodded “It was nice to see you -, you too Lois” He sent you a wink before he walked away disappearing into the crowd of people. Once he was out of sight Lois immediately turned you. 

“What are you doing?” You took a sip of your cocktail as you looked at Lois, innocently.

“What?”

“Lucas? Really Y/N? What about Clark?” 

You didn’t seem to pick up on what Lois was insinuating. “What do you mean? What about Clark?”

“You don’t have to play dumb with me Y/N, I know” Lois rolled her eyes at you for the second time today and you huffed.

“Okay sure but there is nothing going on between me and Lucas” You said, offended by the very thought. 

“Please did you see the way he looked at you?” Lois accused

“Did you see the way he looked at you!” You defended, this caught Lois off guard.

“What?” She managed to stutter back

“Just now, the way he was looking at you, smile on his face, twinkle in his eye.” Lois scoffed and shook her head, taking a sip of her drink.

“Oh please Y/N, we just met officially" You held your drink up trying to hide your smile as Lois gave you a light shove. “Where's Cat anyway?” funny how she all of a sudden decided to change the subject. You nodded your head to your friend who had a poor man pressed up against the bar, her face clung onto his. Lois followed your gaze and cringed.

“Its gonna be a long night” You nodded in agreement

It was by the third bar when you and Cat finally managed to get Lois up and dancing with you all three of you drunk off your asses and screaming the words to some Kaiser Chiefs song. None of you wanted this night to end but you knew it had to. You stumbled out of the bar hoping to get a breath of fresh air after what was your 6th? No 5th cocktail of the night. You wrapped your arms around yourself as the chill hit you suddenly, it wasn’t cold but there was something in the air.

“Hey, you okay?” Lois followed you out surprisingly sober, Cat stumbling behind her immediately juxtaposing that as she jumped on you both wrapping her arms around you.

“I love you guys” Cat slurred as she sighed contentedly and dropped her body weight onto you.

You both stumbled back a bit trying to keep her up. “Woah okay how about we get you home” Lois said before moving under Cat's arm to keep her held up, you did the same as Lois pulled out her phone and called a cab. When it had arrived you both  (with great difficulty) managed to get Cat into it and as Lois was also about to clamber in she turned to you. “Hey, I know your apartments right by here but do you wanna catch a ride with us?” 

You turned your head to the empty street, you know you shouldn’t but you weren’t thinking straight right now, all you could think was that you needed to sober up before bed and maybe this short walk would help you still your mind, and nothing could happen to you if Superman was around, right?. 

“No I’m okay, you guys go” Lois gave you a worried look but didn’t push any further, that was the fourth time she asked that night.

“Send me a text when you get home alright?” You nodded as Lois got into the cab and shut the door, speeding off. 

You breathed out shakily before starting your walk home. The air was still and heavy, nothing could be heard but your heels clacking against the concrete with each step, echoing off the walls of the tall buildings. It was only a little past midnight you had no idea how Cat could’ve gone that hard in the space of a few hours, but you’ve come to learn that you should never question her methods. When you got about 5 minutes from your apartment you stopped off at a nearby corner store grabbing some chocolate and a bottle of water, both managed to fuel you to get up the stairs home and thankfully helped you sober up. 

You sighed out as you shut the door to your apartment, you rested against it for a moment trying to calm down from the excitement of the night before grabbing your phone from the depths of your bag and shooting Lois a quick text. You looked over at the kitchen, Clark's plate was still there, untouched and perfectly covered in cling film. As you were investigating you heard a thump come from your balcony, your head shot up as you grabbed the closest thing to you, a wooden spoon. You slowly kicked off your heels and raised the spoon worrying that you may have sent your text to Lois a bit too soon You quietly edged towards your balcony, once you had arrived you flung the doors open and put your spoon in attack mode as you started to whack, blindly flailing the spoon about and praying it was doing as much damage as you hoped. 

“OW! Ah, it's me!” you stopped dead in your tracks.

There he was, bruised (probably not from your spoon attack) breathing heavy, gripping the balcony railing like it was the only thing keeping him up.

“Superman?” You said as you dropped the spoon, Superman said nothing, his head remained facing the floor, the lights of the city doing very little to illuminate his face. As you slowly moved towards him you placed your hands on his shoulders. He still didn’t look up, it was only when you placed a soft hand to his cheek and guided him to look at you. 

“Clark?”

Superman gave you a weak smile, his bottom lip was bloodied as he looked at you. 

“Miss Y/L/N “

Super- Clark, collapsed into your arms as you struggled to drag him over to your sofa. You grabbed a glass of water for him and wiped the blood from his lip and chin, cleaning him up a tad. Then you sat back in your arm chair, away from him and watched, that man was too big for your sofa, his head rested on one arm while a leg was dangling over the other, his whole right side was practically hanging off and his arm was grazing the floor, it didn’t look comfortable at all but it was the best you could do, the man was heavy. You watched his chest, that big ‘S’ slowly rose and fell. You couldn’t believe it was Clark. 

“You look beautiful” He said groggily as he looked at you.

You didn’t waste any time “What are you doing here?” Doesn’t Superman have a HQ or something?

“I needed to see you” he groaned as he sat up reaching for the water and finishing the glass in one fell swoop and sighing out once he had done so.

“Are you him?” You said your eyes didn’t leave him for a second, the man who, until very recently, you believed to be a stranger had actually been sharing your bed for the last six months. You needed him to say it, or maybe you were hoping he would deny it.  

Superman simply sighed and leaned back into your sofa, his head resting over the back of it as he started up at your ceiling. Now was as good a time as any, he brought his gaze back to you. You were already staring at him, waiting. The silence crept up as you looked into his eyes, he said nothing except for the slightest nod of his head, if a lone curl hadn't fallen to graze his forehead you could argue that he didn’t nod at all. That was all it took for your heart to stutter forcing you to let out a long breath you didn’t know you were holding

“Okay” was all you said before you stood up and started pacing, your heart was now racing and Clark could feel it “Oh my god”. Your feet padded against the floorboards of your apartment as you walked up and down. “Oh my GOD, Clark!” You repeated shoving your head in your hands, Clark stood slowly instantly feeling the need to calm you like it was second nature to him

“Baby I- I’m sorry I didn’t know how to tell you” he said as he stepped closer to you and noticed the tears beginning to well in your eyes. He instinctively reached out to you but you stepped back raising your hands to stop him and he physically drooped at the sight. 

“Six months” you said softly “I had been so worried when Superman had accidentally dropped a building by the deli you get lunch or one of the things he was fighting stomped on a bridge that I knew you cross everyday. I would watch the news praying that you weren’t caught up in it and you were. Every. Single. Time.” The tears were flowing freely now and you didn’t even know why. 

Clark could do nothing but watch you, he wanted to hold you and never let go, he wanted to kiss you and never did he want to be the cause of those tears but he knew while he wore this suit, he was a stranger to you.

And you confirmed it, “I don’t know who you are”. 

Clark felt the sudden urge to leave, he wanted to go and escape this, just like he always did and you half expected him to. But he ignored the urge and stayed put. He reached forward slower this time like he was trying not to scare a stray cat, you let him, and he held your face pulling you softly to look at him as he used his thumbs to wipe the tears which had begun to stain your cheeks. “I’m still me, I’m still your Clark and I’m not going to go anywhere, I am sorry sweetheart, I should have been honest with you from the start, I was so stupid for not telling you but this is who I am and I can’t change that. I don’t ever want to lose you because of this”

You stared up at him, the tears had stopped like they also wanted to hear him out and you looked deeply into his eyes, you knew he was right, as you gaze at him now, those blue swirls are so familiar and comforting to you.

“I love you -” Clark breathed out as yours was caught in your throat. “I have for a long time, since the day we met”

You didn’t know what to say, what do you say? You’ve just found out your boyfriend is an alien superhero, but the way he held you now, the way he looked at you, he was Clark, Just Clark.  

Your silence felt like forever and Clark couldn’t take it anymore, he dropped to his knees, his arms moving to hold your hips as he rested his head against your stomach. His face was hot against you and he himself was on the brink of tears believing he'd lost you. You watched as he dropped, his cape billowed out behind him as he went down and your eye caught the yellow ‘S’ on the back of it, a reminder. Superman was on his knees in front of you.

God you felt so stupid, you thought back to all the times Superman had saved the city, saved you. That night he wanted to walk you home but you let Lucas instead, would he have told you then? You did love Clark, truly, and you could see this was him. Who else would drop to their knees for you, body racking with unshed tears just to be able to keep you? 

“You don’t have to say it back” Clark’s cracked voice brought you back to earth, his voice was strained like he had been screaming for hours, he was looking up at you as he held your thighs, his large hands were splayed across the sides of them. He looked like he worshiped you, and he did. 

You looked down at Clark, he couldn’t read you and right now he would give anything just to be able to tell what you’re thinking. 

Just then you raised your hand slowly and ran it through his hair, Clark closed his eyes and breathed out, comforted by the movement and rested his forehead against you, he reacted just as he did a million times before. You placed your hand on the back of his neck as you knelt to join him, your other hand rested on the ‘S’ which was stretched across his chest. You stared at the symbol of hope as Clark watched you carefully, bracing for impact. 

“I love you too Clark.” You didn’t look up at him, you didn’t see the relieved look on his face, but you felt it, you felt his chest relax and watched as the tightness in it released.

“If this is you, then I do love you.” You looked up at him. Clark was already staring down at you with pure adoration in his eyes, “all of you”. 

A grin spread across Clark's face and he moved a hand up to hold your face, you couldn’t help but smile back at him through your dried tears. 

“Can I kiss you sweetheart?” He asked sweetly. You nodded your head and Clark wasted no time in dipping his head and meeting your lips with his own, He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you tightly into him hoping to never let go. 

-

You both spent the night on your sofa, Clark changed into some grey sweatpants he had left from a while ago but decided to remain shirtless as you tended to his wounds. Clark didn’t want to leave you, no matter how much you insisted he leave to rest or regenerate, whatever it is he does. He refused stating that he would rather sit and be in pain with you than be anywhere else. Which he immediately winced at realising how that sounded. “That didn’t come out the way I wanted it to” You giggled at him and with every smile he felt the weight lift off his shoulders slightly.

“Oh so you’re in pain whenever you’re with me?” You ask, trying to seem serious as you stifle your laughter behind a wide smile.

“Well I am whenever you wear that dress” Clark replied as he looked down at your body, you were still in the same dress worrying more about Clark than bothering to change. 

You rolled your eyes at his blatant flattery and Clark noticed, “Don’t roll your eyes at me sweetheart you know what you do to me” Clark lifted the arm that you weren’t tending to rub the outside of your thigh, his finger teasing with the hem of it.

“Come on Clark, you got energy for that but not to shower?” you teased him, finishing up on his shoulder and he wasted no time to grab you and begin to hungrily attack your neck like he had been starved of you. 

“I’ll have a lot more energy if you shower with me” you tried your hardest to suppress a moan as you felt his words rumble against you, low and deep. Even in this moment of lust and love you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander over to your armchair where his suit rested, the ‘S’ symbol staring at you.

“Clark”, he sensed your tone and ceased his ravaging as he pulled his head up to look at you.

“Yes darling?” The way he called you darling, his slight Kansas accent peeking through, caused your stomach to flutter.

“Is everything going to change between us now?” You couldn’t go on until you had the clarification, you didn’t want things to change, you wanted to keep Clark as your Clark the one you’ve always known. 

“It is” Clarks arms were still around you but your eyes were trained on your lap as you nervously fiddled with your nails, picking at your nail polish Cat had applied earlier that night. ”But that isn’t a bad thing.” Clark grabbed your hands and lifted your head to meet his eyes. “I’m not hiding from you anymore” His eyes were so genuine, it reminded you of when you first met. Clark had spilt a vanilla coffee he got just for you all down his shirt, just as he approached your desk he had slipped, his untied shoelace got caught in a wheel of his office chair and he tumbled down as quick as he stood. You, through giggles, asked him if he was okay and helped him up. You remembered being so deeply lost in his eyes and he nervously looked away from you, slightly embarrassed while his face turned a shade of pink you didn’t know existed, but when he did finally meet your gaze he relaxed instantly and couldn’t help but laugh at himself with you.

You could see that in his eyes now. You gave him a sweet kiss “Please don’t hide yourself from me”, you whispered into his lips as you pulled apart, you had said it so softly that you weren’t sure if he heard you but then he smiled

“Never” he kissed you once again, he always wanted to feel your lips on his, if not for needing oxygen he would never leave them. “Now, how about that shower?” He gave you a wink and you smiled at him, letting him pull you up as you followed him to your bathroom, a great big smile adorning your face the whole time.