Val

Lesbian Cringe and free credit to starsleeps for the header!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

AI is forcing me to make phone calls...

[0thegrimartist0]

can we kill this fucking thing already (AI, not gaud)

[nosimpincurly]

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

[catherinebunnington]

Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account

[the-muppet-joker]

Stop asking me in my inbox how I feel about the "hard launch." I do not care! Sure, I'm a phannie, but I also hate love. I have always head cannoned Phil and Dan as merely coworkers

[the-muppet-joker]

Hey gang for those of you waiting for my return just letting you know that running the muppet joker account has put a very real strain on my real life marriage and I have decided to step away from the blog for the foreseeable future.

I have been talking to her and everone else in my personal life "in character" as the muppet joker so that my blog would be as true to life as possible. I have been wearing Joker makeup around the house, which at first she found funny, but now she can't even look at me. I started compulsively fantasizing about the muppets and it's ruining our sex life. I accidentally called her Kermit in the bedroom and she made me sleep on the couch for a week.

Our son turned one year old this year on July 5th, on the day of Dashcon 2. My wife begged and pleaded with me to stay home and celebrate his birthday, but I was stupid and selfish and had become completely taken over by the muppet joker persona at that point. I went. I returned home to an ultimatum. Its my family, or it's the muppet joker. I chose my family.

Sorry tumblr. I have failed you. I have failed my wife. I have failed my son. I have to go now, to be with them, and to watch my child grow up.

Goodbye, Homosapiens

[0thegrimartist0]

WHATTTTTTTT

[0thegrimartist0]

the existence of miniature horses is both terrifying and hilarious. what the fuck

[0thegrimartist0]

silly little attempt at realism. not the best ever but yknow

[evandorkin]

it's a shame that selling this on a shirt really would get you sued because there's very little i want more on a shirt than this

People put all sorts of stuff out there on T-shirt sites that technically should get them sued, but they companies and the law makes it very hard to smack those folks down. Personally, I don't like to make merch that uses characters owned by other people, even as a joke. It's fair use in a single comic panel, but once you're making merchandise you're stepping on people, even if it happens that those people are rich corporate bastards like WB who step on people for a living. I wouldn't like anyone putting out Eltingville or M&C shirts online (they do it, it's hard to shut them down), so I respect other people's characters. Glad you like that panel, btw.

[0thegrimartist0]

mr dorkin you are. ABSURDLY based have an amazing day.

[0thegrimartist0]

yall ever get the feeling you left something in the closet of your childhood bedroom… like the doodles on the walls are painted over, the bunk bed and dresser and ps3 are all gone, but you can’t shake the feeling that you left something in the closet.

[quietwingsinthesky]

too much monogamy in fandom in general

[quietwingsinthesky]

as we all know, everyone falls in love once and only once with their one true love the first time, and if they had relationships before that they weren’t real and didn’t love each other, and you can’t love more than one person at once, and your friends and family need to be pushed out of the picture to focus more on your romance, and no one has sex with people they don’t love, and if they did, they’re dirty and they have to have hated it and the sex they have with their one true love after they’re officially together has to be better sex than they ever had before, and no one ever breaks up for any reason other than death, and everyone wants to get married and have kids. aren’t you fucking tired.

[teathattast]

[gluten-free-pussy]

WHAT

[theshockinglyeloquentdog]

Pusheen is married?!?

[lilkearnsie]

PUSHEEN HAS BABIES?!?!?

[grimauxiliatrixofficial]

Queen Of Keeping Personal And Professional Lives Seperate

[mortimermcmirestinks]

SINCE WHEN IS PUSHEEN A GIRL

[foulfowledfool]

an absolute queen. her birthday is febuary 18th

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

she's Irish

[helloitsbees]

everyone say happy birthday pusheen

[0thegrimartist0]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUSHEEN!!!

[spisher-man]

Good luck, Have fun!

Made a quiz, have fun:)

[0thegrimartist0]

Oh, Okay, Cool-

[dbz1989]

[0thegrimartist0]

i just had a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice for the first time ever... who was gonna tell me how scrumptious this shit was

[brucefromfamilyguy]

[athinginmotion-deactivated20250]

social media has got twenty year old women thinking they have to be a "clean girl" at university with a morning routine and face masks and expensive water bottles and a 9pm bedtime. I am begging the world to let young women go through a crucial developmental stage of being disgusting messy little rats. for feminism.

[v-spicata]

To be a human is to be a horrible bag filled with piss and shit and all these weird sorts of wormy little tubes. You can try and act like the world isn't full of mucus and shed skin flakes but you can't ever get away from it entirely. You'd just be running from your own body.

So, own it. Be gross and full of awful fluids. There's nothing more amazing in the world.

[gayfrogs7]

Yo, correct me if I am wrong please, but didn't Hitler rise to power because he promised to fix the German economy and people really liked that so they looked past everything else he was doing??? Like exactly what's happening in America right now???

So many people said they voted for Trump, put a truly evil person in power, because he said he'd fix the economy, and a little voice in my head is going, "Isn't that what happened with fucking Hitler??"

But I've seen no one point that out so maybe I'm miss remembering???????

[todaysbird]

fun thing about herding and/or generally neurotic breeds: they are really good at following rules you have instituted, but they will also make their own Dog Rules they will follow stringently whether or not you like it

[todaysbird]

despite never being reprimanded for getting sick if my dog throws up she will ‘tattle’ on herself and run over to me, show me the throw up, then hide and start shaking uncontrollably. nobody taught her to do this. she has decided that throwing up is a punishable offense until the end of time

[ajarofpickledtears]

[todaysbird]

my dog has decided that it’s solely on her shoulders to ensure there is peace in my house…if the cats fight she stands between them to ‘break it up’ and/or herds them away, if my rats have an argument she goes to the cage door and barks until they stop. not sure why she has decided she must carry the weight of the world but she has

[fauxcoral]