Ella @1-48am - Tumblr Blog

mysticrosepoetry

Slowly,

I’m learning to love myself

to fully be present in the moment

to appreciate things finally

and completely

for what they are,

for who’s to say

that a daisy

or a doorframe

or this life

of being human

were meant to be

simple things

after all.

—M.R.

itquiet-deactivated20240530

remanence-of-love

love

dysmorphia

I feel my skin. I feel the way it moves and I feel the way it bunches. I’m aware of every little crevice and every little imperfection. I’m aware of how one eye is slightly larger than the other. I’m aware of how my nose is crooked and off center just a hair. I am aware of the way my thighs are seen in every piece of clothing I own. I am aware of the curls that outline my face in imperfect ringlets.

Some mornings my nose seems to look bigger than I already think it is. Some mornings my stomach seems to become bigger than I think it is. As I run up the hill and on my normal running course I am aware of how my body moves, skin brushes against skin. I think to myself “if I keep going I should drop another pound.”

I weigh myself thinking about all the things I ate that day. How much sugar was in that? Do I need to go on a run before I can eat a snack?

I am constantly told how perfect my body is and how beautiful it is, but most days I don’t see it.