Taking Chances
The sound of broken glass was heard in the house, and your mom came running to you, checking your body from head to toe to see if you were hurt. You simply stood there, with your eyes fixed on the television, while your mom was touching your arms, legs and face looking for any bruises.
In that moment, not only the glass was shattered, but your heart as well. You could feel your own malice and anger heaving inside you, weighing heavy on your chest almost as if it were a living, breathing thing. You’d never hated someone so much in your life and yet you’d never loved someone with the intensity and overriding passion you felt toward Won Woo, both emotions warring in your brain and making you feel nauseous and exhausted with all this emotional and mental strain. Is it even possible to want to slit some ones throat and at the same time wishing he would just push away the barriers both of you and kiss you like he used to?
“That boy is…” Your mom started, but soon you answered to her unfinished question.
“Won Woo.”
Although you were talking, you aren’t moving! Your eyes were like glass, glued on the screen, and your body frozen in the spot, like you were a beautiful and fragile statue.
“That bastard” You mumbled, finally turning around and running to your room, leaving your mom completely shocked.
It’s been 4 months, since you last saw him. Of course you guys talked with each other by phone, but you never saw him again face to face, after the stupid excuse of him that he needed to leave the city to see his family. Lies, all lies. Seems like he not only went to see his family, but also debuted, or was going to debut pretty soon. You, as his best friend, should have been the first one knowing about this, but no, he preferred to hide it from you. You always knew he loved music, his dream was to become an idol, and you always supported him. But what you got in return? Zero, nada, nothing at all.
Curiously, he called you in that night! Weird, seems like he felt that you were completely mad at him, because normally, he doesn’t call you this late. You looked at the phone and sighed deeply, still thinking if you should pick up or not. But you did, you thought that was going to be good talking with him, at least you could relieve your stress, at least you could tell him everything that have been bothering you.
“Hana, sorry for just calling now, but I have something really special to tell you, I think you are going to stay really really happy for me.”
You heard his voice on the other side of the line, and in that moment you just wanted to punch his flawless face, because he was being so fake, you felt yourself crying silently on the phone, with your hand over your mouth, trying to muffle any sound.
“Hana?” Won Woo called for you again and you dropped the phone on the bed, trying to calm down. After a few seconds, you grabbed the phone and answered, trying to sound completely normal, trying to hide your hoarse voice from crying.
“Sorry, I wasn’t feeling well. But sure, come to my house, now.” Your voice wasn’t sweet like candy or melodic like birds, your voice was dull and nothing more.
“Wow, someone is excited to see me.” Won Woo said with a small chuckle that made you roll your eyes. “Something’s wrong?”
You looked at the phone with widen eyes. If something was wrong? He can’t be serious.
“If something is wrong? No, what could it be? Are you hiding something from me? It’s not like you lied to me or something.” You answered, kicking your pillows.
“O-oh, that! No, of course not, I’ll see you in a few minutes, I mean, it’s late, we can meet in front of your house?”
“Sure! Or in front of the sea, so I can drown you.” You mumbled.
He didn’t heard it for sure, because he hang up before you could say anything else. Maybe you were being a little bit dramatic, but you couldn’t get over the fact that he lied to you in something so big and important. For God’s sake, he was going to become a star, he was on the national television, that boy over there, is your bestfriend, or was, or whatever.
After a few minutes, you heard knocks on your door, and you dressed some random dress and opened the door. There he was, beautiful as always, his dark hair and flawless smile greeting you, like he always did since you were kids. Won Woo immediately hugged your body closer to his. His embrace was so caring and warm, he was hugging you so tightly, that for a few seconds you though you would die for lack of air. But he was kind of shocked, because you didn’t hugged back, you just stood there, not showing any kind of emotion.
“Hana, I thought you were happy to see me. After all, it’s been almost 5 months since we last saw each other.” Won Woo’s voice was sad, seeing your cold reaction towards him. His eyes were filled with nostalgic emotions, trying to find the reasons behind your cold attitudes.
“You’re right. Almost 5 months. In 5 months a lot of things can change, don’t you think?.” You asked him, with your arms crossed and eyes glued on the wall behind him. For some reasons you couldn’t look into his eyes, because you knew you would melt and run to his arms. But you needed to remain strong.
“Now I can see it. You changed a lot, wow, I barely recognize my bestfriend.” He said, looking at you from head to toe, and shaking his head an disapproval. “Who are you and what did you did to my bestfriend Hana?”
“Don’t be hypocritical Won Woo. What right do you have to question my attitudes when you were the one that lied to me all this time?” Finally you exploded. All the anger you had inside you was finally showing on the outside.
Won Woo gave a step closer, but you pushed him away from you. He wanted to talk, you saw that he was trying to find the words, but you didn't needed them.
"Seventeen ah? Good name for a band! Thank you so much for telling me! I though we were best friends. I found out you were going to debut because I saw it on the television! I saw it on the television, like everyone else. In that moment, I was just another girl watching 17 boys, boys that I never saw in my life. Congratulations, you finally reached what you have been seeking for so long. But sorry, don't count with my support." You said, with tears running down your cheeks.
Won Woo, on the other hand, was looking at you with his lips slightly parted, a bit shocked with your burst. He never saw you like that, and he already did a lot of bad things.
"Hana I....I did it for you, only for you. To protect you." His voice was merely a whisper, and you couldn't help but laugh. He sounded to pathetic.
"You are pathetic. For me? I don't need protection. You could at least find a better excuse WonWoo. Now if you don't mind, leave." You said, opening the door and looking up to keep the tears from falling.
Won Woo gave a step closer to you, and you gave a step back, feeling your back hitting the wall. His eyes were looking for yours, it was like he was begging for forgiveness without saying a single word.
But you couldn't. This was a big lie.
Suddenly, you felt a pair of cold hands cupping your face, making you look directly into his eyes.
The next thing you saw, broke your heart into pieces. WonWoo was crying. His cheeks were wet, tears were falling with no intention to stop.
How much you wanted to wipe them with your thumb, how much you wanted to dry them with your lips. How much you wanted to have the courage to tell him how much you love him, more than best friends. But he would never know. Now he is a superstar, telling it to him now wouldn't make any difference. He will be surrounded by beautiful idols, is just a matter of time until he forgets you.
"I was so afraid to tell you." WonWoo said, biting his lips, sobbing slightly. "I was so afraid that you were going to treat me different because I am finally famous."
You looked at him, without knowing what do say. He really thought you would treat him different?
“You really don’t know me.” You answered, slapping his hands away from your face. “Do you really think I am some crazy fangirl? Do you think I would stop loving you as a best friend and start loving you as an idol? Please Won Woo, the love I feel for you, none of those girls that love you now are going to feel for you. I just hope you keep being humble and down to earth, nothing more.” Your back as facing him, your hands were covering your face, while you sobbed hard. It was like you were saying goodbye to him, forever.
Slowly, strong arms were wrapped around your waist, and you felt a hot breath against your neck, making you shiver with such a good feeling. His grip on you tightened, and his lips found your neck, kissing every inch of skin he could reach. Slowly and unconsciously, you close your eyes and tilted your head to the side, giving him more access.
“Please, don’t push me away.” Won Woo whispered against your neck, turning your body around, and immediately kissing your lips.
You couldn’t say that the sensation was bad, because it wasn’t. In fact you dreamt with it so many times already. But now that it was really happening, felt weird, wrong and right at the same time. The kiss both of you was sharing, became even more passionate, when WonWoo parted his lips slightly, but you didn’t allow anything to go further. Your heart and your mind were constantly remembering you that you were hurt, and Won Woo needed to feel a bit of the pain that you were feeling. You pushed him away, but he was still pretty close to you, because your foreheads were touching. Your hands were on his chest, and you couldn’t help but smile a bit, feeling how his heart was in a rush, beating like crazy. ‘The reason why my heart skips a bit, is always because of you Hana’ Won Woo thought, finally giving a step back.
“I’m going to respect you, and giving you some space. I’m really sorry for this Hana, but I really did this to protect you. The world of fame is not easy, you can easily be misunderstood. I didn’t wanted to drag you with me. In a day, you are my best friend, on the other, you are my girlfriend or even my enemy, according some stupid magazines and newspapers. If you need something, you know where to find me.” Won Woo said, caressing your hair and leaving the house.
You stood there. Not moving, not crying, not smiling. You were just a statue, no feelings, no heart, no life. He left, you didn’t asked him to stay, you didn’t even called his name.
“What really belongs to you, will comeback, no matter how long you wait for it.”