don't cry for me

travis - he

[amoralto]

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March 30th, 1967 (Studio 2, EMI Studios, London): John and Paul record harmony vocal overdubs for ‘With A Little Help From My Friends’.  

[dramatic-dolphin]

thinking in your target language: coherent and eloquent sentences. you use every verb tense perfectly, the grammatical genders are all correct, and your intonation is like a native speaker’s.

actually speaking your target language:

[lmaonade]

baby boy snuck outside to eat grass

[bird-butt-deactivated20210130]

Do you think furries will be culturally significant enough to be historically notable

[bird-butt-deactivated20210130]

Do you think some poor kid in the future is gonna have to write a paper on the significance of the furry subculture in order to pass his sociology class

[scarletandgreyexotics]

People seemed to like Vega blels, so here’s some more in a nice close up!

[the-tree-line]

this is the only acceptable post on this site

[valwyn]

When you roll a natural 20 on an investigation check

[dnd-one-shots]

What the fuck

[soup-erb]

[trashfirefallon-deactivated2019]

Hairdresser: We’re going to have to use a color remover to take out the blue pigment, then apply more pigment to allow for the proteins in the hair to adhere to it. Then possibly mix three different types of toners to reach the goal of your natural hair color.

Hairdresser: pretty simple

Me: this is chemistry

Hairdresser: yeah, but people don’t like when we talk that way

[trashfirefallon-deactivated2019]

Hairdresser: so you’re a mortician?

Me: apprentice

Hairdresser: do you know why formaldehyde is used in clothing?

Me: I didn’t know that was a thing

Hairdresser: I think it’s due to the preserving qualities? But I don’t think that’s right.

Me: It’s not just a preservative, it’s also a disinfectant ‘cause it destroys bacteria as well as their food supply. It’s also a dehydrator. 

Hairdresser: why not just use alcohol?

Me: good question. Formaldehyde is super cheap, so probably to cut costs

Hairdresser: is it really a carcinogen? 

Me: yeah, I’m going to have so much cancer

[trashfirefallon-deactivated2019]

Hairdresser: so you’re going natural to work at a funeral home?

Me: yeah

Hairdresser: while still in school?

Me: well we work in the funeral homes so we have uuuuh … experience with cases

Hairdresser: you can just say bodies it’s fine 

Me: oh thank god

[trashfirefallon-deactivated2019]

Five Minutes Later

Me: yeah so we don’t do autopsies it’s one of my pet peeves

Hairdresser: what if someone wakes up while you’re embalming them?

Me: there’s a huge difference between a living body and a dead one

second hairdresser: I think we should add more toner, but yeah I think rigor mortis would make it pretty obvious

Me: that and being in a fridge for a few days you will be dead by the time you get to us

Hairdresser: I think pumping them full of a carcinogen would help with that

[antique-scarecrow]

your hair is going to look incredible

[writing-prompt-s]

Neuroscience has advanced to the point that, for a fee, one can remove or cloud unpleasant memories. We are unable to change and create memories, but regretful, traumatizing, or otherwise harmful memories can be removed or be rendered harmlessly vague.

It’s not long before some people decide to remove the memory of receiving sensitive information that they wished they hadn’t acquired. others go as far as forgetting potentially dangerous secrets of their own.

What secrets do you hide from yourself?

[avidbreadconsumer]

Apparently whatever I was going to do before I walked into the kitchen

[transphobies-deactivated2016022]

[dee-lirious]

#i regret every day of my life i didn’t love you

[wardenmcpherson]

My distaste for her had stemmed from a director who was looking for a teenager to cheat on his wife with and the twisted writing of an uptight cultist, and I feel so damnedly foolish for falling for that nonsense.

[nepofledgling]

Not to be like “we live in a society” but I think a lot of people’s mental health would be significantly less fucked if they didn’t have to function in a system that forces them to think about their value as a human being as based on how productive they are/how much money people can make off them

[weloveshortvideos]

The end…

[lil-introv3rt]

That was savage

[professional-funposting]

O B L I T E R A T E D 

[wildberry-poptart]

E V A P O R A T E D

[parakeet]

the human life is a strained and tense one. i envy the life of a smooth rock resting on the beach… warmed by the sun… unaware of the trials and tribulations of sentient life… 

[badoptics]

do you need to talk

[parakeet]

i wish i was a croissant 

[strange-in-motion]

My last two brain cells interacting guys.

[mandatalks]

I just had the best encounter with a child at Kmart. I was in the aisle shopping, and this girl and her dad come around the corner. The girl sees me and excitedly exclaims “There’s a human here!!” to which the father replied “Yes, there’s humans everywhere.”

[just-another-secret-gaygent]

bro do you realize you met aliens

[sheepkind]

not unusual for a kmart

[yo-its-matt]

Y'all realize the subtle Had To Do It To Em Guy edits are basically just modern Where’s Waldo at this point right

[child-of-crows]

Locate Luciano

[nayters]

[c-bassmeow]

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[wilsonpatricks-deactivated20191]

Diego Luna’s been in over 50 movies, he’s produced twenty-some-odd films, he’s directed a half a dozen movies. You know, how many actors do you find that really have that kind of experience to offer in a movie, any movie, let alone Star Wars? So we’re very lucky to have him.