Idk what I'm doing @1unpaid-intern - Tumblr Blog

my first deltarune chapter 5 fanart. it's good to be home./silly

this is literally them

So I just binge watched the entire 4th season of vox machina and it reminded me of a fantasy trope (if you can all it that) that I absolutely DESPISE.

(obviously spoilers for vox machina)

Why are gods like this? "Oh look at me. I'm all powerfull and all knowing, but I still need help from a champion, but also I'm gonna be really cryptic and not explain anything. Just trust me bro. Oh, what's that? Because I didn't give you enough information the villian managed to manipulate you? How could this happen?"

Like, maybe I'm too much of an atheist for this but literally just communicate properly and treat them with respect to show them that they aren't just a pawn to you. It's giving romance novel that could have been half the lenght without one stupid miscommunication. It's really not that hard. (I actually had that exact argument with my catholic teacher. They said god just showing himself and being open would beat the point of faith, but what point does faith have to being with if the person you have faith in could easily reasure you?! Why do you need me to believe if I could just know? You're just withholding information on purpose. Fuck you)

And I just don't get it. Why do you feel the need to aura farm and be all mysterious? In real life religions tend to come up with a reason why their god(s) don't communicate much (because if they didn't then most people would probably lose faith since they wouldn't feel listened to). But in this world these gods actually definetively exist. Their followers even get holy magic from them. The fact that they exist is undisputed. It feels like the writers are like "well all the gods in real life are like this so guess we have to immitate that, even though that makes our gods look really bad"

Vax and the matron are the number one example of what NOT to do. The matron made Vax think that his blight was a punishment and it took forever for her to explain that it was meant to help him defeat the whispered one. So of course they would try to get rid off it! Also why not tell him about the whispered one sooner?! So much of this could have been avoided. And also also for a god it's kinda pathetic that your only way of killing this enemy of yours is to force your champoin to sacrifice himself and then it didn't even work!

I also hate that the villian usually has a valide point, but they can't have us sympathize too much so the writers have to make them a complete megalomaniac. It's like "hey, I don't like that gods can play with my fate as if I'm just a mindless puppet and that they are really spitefull. As a response I will become a death cultist and sacrifice thousands of human lives to achive my goal of becoming an immortal god myself."

I don't think I would mind this as much if the gods weren't completely seen as the good guys. Because, even though the villian lost their way in the pursuit of revenge and power, they kinda had a point. Them being cryptic and not telling their champions important stuff kinda proves the villains point. Because why would you treat them like that if you don't think of them as a pawn? Why can't you be more like the greeks (or most polytheist religions tbh) where the gods are just really powerful but flawed people and acknowledge that.

Also fuck the gods when they can control peoples fate. They literally decide that some people are going to be miserable despite being good and some people are going to be extremly lucky despite being horrible. You're not Shakespeare writing a tragedy. You're a god. People pray to you because they want you to make good things happen to them. It almost seems like you make them miserable on purpose just so they continue to pray to you.

But then the story is like, no no no this is how it's supposed to be. Thank you heros for reestablishing the status quo! :D

#vox machina #the legend of vox machina #ramblings #atheism #fantasy

This has been sitting in my drafts for like two weeks and I wasn't sure if I wanted to post this but what the hell, it's pride month anyways.

Uuuhhh I think my egg just cracked? I'm still confused but I'm pretty sure I'm not a woman. I don't think I'm a guy either though.

I really should have noticed when I realized that women actually like their boobs. My dad told me about some lady in our town that had her breasts removed because of cancer but recently wanted to get breast reconstruction. And I was just so confused because like, you actually got rid off them. Why would you want them back? Do you mean to tell me that people actually like them that much???

Personally I just forget that I have them most of the time and when I do remember it's always like wait wha- ah right those exist, yay :/

Like I don't know how to describe it but it just feels like they aren't supposed to be there, like somebody sneakily glued them on and now I can't get them off.

I also never really liked my long hair. When I was younger I kept it long because my mom always told me how pretty it looked, but it never made me feel pretty. So I think right around quarantine I just kinda started slowly getting it shorter and shorter and it feels so much better now. My hair looks actually good even when I put like no effort into it, it drys super fast and I'll never have to wear a ponytail ever again.

Another thing that is really telling in retrospect is me feeling giddy when I overheard some guys debating whether or not I'm a guy or a gal. Their confusion delights me.

The final nail in the coffin was me wearing jorts from the men's section for the first time though xD

I always hated going shopping for cloths. My mom had to drag me along and I disliked everything about it. But I don't think I actually hate the activity itself, I just hated putting on the cloths she picked out for me. I never even bothered to pick anything out myself because I was convinced that I wouldn't like it anyways. So huge shoutout to my best friend since elementary school for suggesting to go shopping with me and actually encourage me to try on stuff from the men's section. Thanks to her I got my first hawaii shirt.

I tried on the jorts because my train was late and I had time to kill. At first I was just browsing the mens shirts but then I saw the pants. It felt kinda illegal to take them with me to the changing room but the happiness I felt when I saw myself in the mirror was amazing. It took me a few seconds to process it but that was my "oh shit" moment.

It's not like I hate all cloths that are seen as feminine though. I like wearing simple casual dresses during summer because they are so light and airy. I just don't want to wear them for anything else. Dresses are casual summer wear to me and nothing more. I don't like skirts though, I never did, no idea why.

That also explains why I HATED my highschool graduation. I was begging my mom to get me a suite like my brother and my dad were wearing but she insisted on getting a dress. (I got the simplest most grandma looking dress ever because I hated how dramatic all of them were) And oh my god the heels. She bought me two pairs of heels. I told her that two are way too many and that I'd rather not wear any because I have never walked in them before. It was hell. I never want to put those torture devices on my feet ever again. The only positive thing about them is that they make you taler, that's it. I thought about burning them before but since I bearly wore them I might actually be able to sell them or gift them to some of my younger cousins in the future.

Man, writing all that down felt good. I am kinda mad that I didn't figure myself out earlier though. My natural estrogen is so low that I wouldn't have even hit puberty without hrt. My default settings were literally what I want rn, like god fucking damn it, why didn't I try on jorts sooner?!

#trans #nonbinary

w0nderland42

i get that americans love their cultural imperialism, but it really does piss me off that june is “international” pride month just because something happened in the united states.

in aotearoa, june isn’t our pride, it’s theirs. marsha p johnson and sylvia rivera are their historical figures, not ours. the phrase that “you owe your rights to Black trans women” is true there, but here we owe our rights to (mostly) Māori historical figures. i have the freedoms i do because of the legacy of an entirely different set of people operating in an entirely different context at entirely different times.

But because of american cultural imperialism, most queer people in Aotearoa don’t even know our own queer history. Carmen Rupe, Ngahuia Te Awekotuku, the Dorian Society, Gillian Laundon, Georgina Beyer, and the Wolfenden Association are some of our queer history. We should know their names! we should know what they did for us! but because of the power of the american imperial machine, we don’t.

our national pride month should be july, the month that the Homosexual Law Reform Act passed in 1986. our two largest cities hold their pride festivals in february and march, respectively. american queer history has very little (or nothing, depending on who you ask) to do with our queer history. anecdotally, from my own queries, queer youth in aotearoa know more about american queer history than our own.

anyway, happy pride, americans. i’m truly sorry that most of you don’t see the negative impact your nation’s culture has on the rest of the world. and to the rest of the world reading this, try searching for your own country and culture’s queer history, don’t accept the american narratives as your own. we deserve our own histories divorced from the cultural hegemony of the USA.

1unpaid-intern

Important addition by @crabussy

hi guys. I'm seeing a lot of very upset people in the comments and while I understand being on edge when confronted like this, I think I should clarify a few things about the post.

OP is not saying marsha p johnson and sylvia rivera are unimportant, or to blame for so many places in the world not knowing their own queer history. she is saying that in aotearoa, different people in history have been responsible for queer rights being fought for. there is no hatred here for either of those people. they were just examples of influential american queer historical figures.

OP is not saying YOU SPECIFICALLY are to blame for people globally knowing more about american queer history than their own history. YOU celebrating pride in june and talking about your historical figures is fine and good. keep it up, it's genuinely important. the blame is on cultural imperialism, which is not perpetuated by any one person or any small group. it's purely the massive reach and influence the US has over other countries.

finally, I'm seeing a lot of people saying "it's your own fault for not knowing your own queer history, I learned MY queer history, so this is your own fault": hi. I'm from aotearoa. it was drilled into me from basically the moment I realised I was queer that I owe ALL my rights to american historical figures. especially within online spaces, when I was younger, I was exposed to so many posts stating that EVERY queer person has rights because of specific american events. I believed that!!! I learned more about queer history in the US because I truly believed that it was the dominant force behind why I had any rights. I saw that sentiment so often that I stopped even thinking about it. it just felt like the basic truth to me. only very recently did I discover the massive and intricate history my own country has when it comes to queer rights.

I swear the best birth control is being near a delivery room. It is currently 2am. I just heard a woman make the most pained exhausted scream I have ever heard. There have been 10 screams like that since 8pm.

#I mean i knew i was never gonna do that shit #but that really reasured me in my decision #birth control

dizzyhslightlyvoided

"Men Aren't Better Than Women: Both Genders Are Inferior To Me" is a 1991 book by Dr. Ivo Robotnik (better known for other work). Though its primary purpose is clearly to stroke the author's own ego, it is generally regarded as a comprehensive, well-constructed, and accessible work of contemporary feminist theory, and is still commonly-cited to this day.

Most of the critical complaints have been about the tone; in a review from 2005, Professor Victoria of Spagonia University said, "The constant self-aggrandizement undercuts the idea that its subject ought to be taken seriously. Also, wasn't the 'feminist' line from the Sonic Heroes manual a mistranslation of 'womanizer'?"

In 2026, Dr. Robotnik released a new edition updated for the preceding 35 years of developments in feminism, with the subtitle changed from "Both Genders" to "All Genders."

1unpaid-intern

Whoa, he's bisexual a feminist! I didn't know that!

#the disappointment when I found out that the book doesn't actually exist #I would have genuinely read that