Vent Account

general things pertaining to mental health

[disabledmachineherald]

if you're autistic highly sensitive over emotional if you "get upset over stuff that doesn't matter" if you get angry easily sad easily if you laugh easily or for longer or loudly if your anger is explosive and feels bottomless if you're easily frustrated if you get angry because you're confused or don't understand if people are always telling you to grow up or making fun of you for "disproportionate reactions", if you have screaming crying violent meltdowns over just anything, i love and support and care about you

your emotions are proportionate because there is no one way to react to anything

you deserve to be respected. you are just a person who is alive

[thenarator]

i think something that no one ever tells autistic people who got diagnosed as adults, who are just trying to navigate the world with their trauma from a whole childhood of never having their needs met, is that your sense of what is a "reasonable" or "acceptable" way to treat you is out of whack. you're not used to being allowed to stand up for yourself, to say "i have autism and so i need you to do X, Y and Z in order to accommodate that." especially with medical professionals and bureaucratic figures who control records and access to resources. but the thing is, it's not just about the autism. it's about your sense of boundaries. it's about not trusting yourself to know when something is wrong. so much of what you would consider unbearable is considered normal for other people, so when you run across a situation you find intolerable you just stick with it because you're not expecting to find sympathy. why should you? you never have before. and then the situation gets worse or even just remains as a constant annoyance, and you inevitably snap and have a meltdown or a panic attack or otherwise have to remove yourself from the situation. it's important to know that sometimes when this happens, it's your autism not being accommodated. however, sometimes the situation was just objectively horrible for any human being regardless of neurotype, and it can be really hard to tell the difference. so i'm here to tell you, talk to the people around you. do research about your experiences. sometimes you'll find other autistic people who have had similar issues and have workarounds, and sometimes you'll find out that everyone you know is horrified that you had to go through that and the situation wasn't normal at all.

this post brought to you by the two friends, one therapist and several youtube videos it took for me to realize that the surgeon who wanted to operate on me while i was awake was in fact a fucking lunatic.

[adhdxxsdiary]

[axolotlandalite]

[stormclouds-chainmail]

[Image description

Image 1: a tweet by @/RaeOfStarShine "Rae" which says "Autism on TV: I say insulting things to people and when they are upset I argue with their logic instead of apologising. Autism in real life: a friend hasn't spoken to me in a few days so I am analysing everything I have ever said to them in case it was rude and they hate me now".

Image 2

Tumblr tags

#tv characters with autism always seem to carry this unshakeable confidence in themselves #like they've never been truly rejected by people they cared about

#whereas every autistic person i know myself included

#has at some point had to internalise the message 'there is a line at which people will get sick of you.'

#this line is invisible and you don't know which of your natural behaviours push you closer to that line #and which are fine to do and help build relationships

#so you had a childhood of just being constantly surprised when suddenly you find the line

#and it's a bad surprise because now you've lost something or someone you care about and it's your fault #you might not be able to get it back either - you just have to accept that life is like stumbling through a minefield in the dark

#sometimes you'll get to the other end. sometimes you'll lose an arm or a leg. and you have no idea which or when.

#and this means that a lot of us do the logical thing and don't move

#we don't socialise we don't stand out we don't show any sliver of personality in case that's the step that blows us up

#we toe the ground so carefully hoping we'll be able to pick up on the danger before we die from it

#but there'll always be those you don't see coming

#and then you end up lonely and people tell you to make friends you have to be yourself

#being yourself is synonymous with deciding to just start running. you know you *could* in theory do it. #but your body's so aware of the danger it physically won't let you

#so what now?

End description]

[selfindulgentsaccharine]

You can't win with ASPD, because if you mask then you're a liar. If you make an effort to treat people with compassion you're manipulative. If you display symptoms you're either an edgelord or a scary sociopath not worthy of respect.

You'll struggle your entire life with the trauma that caused your disorder while people discredit your experiences, because obviously you're not allowed to feel pain or let anything bother you.

Chasers fetishize your disorder while ableists screech about how you should be locked up, denied basic human rights, or put down. Media that glamorizes your disorder for shock value will make beaucoup bucks while you're unable to find a single therapist willing and able to treat you. Psych literature will state that you're emotionally volatile while onlookers call you cold and incapable of human emotion. Psych literature will state that 50% of people with your diagnosis have a comorbid anxiety disorder, but textbooks will claim people like you are unable to feel fear in an effort to dehumanize you.

Any resources you find will be buried between ten times as many resources for victims of people like you, telling them to run and teaching them how to manipulate you. Even educators will fail to discuss your diagnosis in a practical way because they're too busy name-dropping Bundy and Dahmer. You will be told to fix yourself without any help doing so. You will be told to fix yourself while being told that people like you are beyond saving. Other abuse survivors will tell you to not interact with them, so you'll make your own spaces and then they'll follow you into your own spaces to harass you.

People armchair diagnose politicians, cops, and abusers with your disorder as an explanation for their bigotry and cruelty. People armchair diagnose CEOs with your disorder to prove that you have some kind of unfair advantage over everyone else in society. They'll write articles about it for clicks and clout and everyone in the comments section will vent about their ex.

If you complain about any of it they'll accuse you of gaslighting and proving their point - that you're a terrible person who's not a person at all.

[aspen-mayne]

When people say that autistic people take things literally, I don’t really think that applies to me. 

Why doesn’t it apply to me? Because I take the statement too literally. 

I hear it as: Autistic people always take things too literally.

It really means: Autistic people tend to take things more literally than intended.

For instance, I take questionnaire questions literally, and if I don’t stop to think about what the question means to ask, I will answer it at face value. When if I hadn’t taken the question literally to be exactly what it asks, I would have given a different answer.

[sapphirecastles]

Deep compensation in Autism spectrum disorder (ASD)

I recently read about a particular thing people on the spectrum do that is rarely spoken about (when comparing to masking) and gets in the way of pople getting a formal asd diagnosis: deep compensation.

Livingst and Shah (2019) and Livingst et. al (2020) have written about it (links go to open access papers) and showed how it can disguise autism.

I'll share some quotes, from those papers, that I found interesting.

However, it is likely other, more sophisticated strategies involving deep compensation exist, such as detail-focused analysis of social information, which might allow a person to solve ToM and have fairly flexible social understanding, albeit via an atypical route.

We have previously hypothesised that these may be distinct from deep compensatory strategies, which work flexibly across contexts, because they provide an alternative route to the social-cognitive ability in question (e.g. theory of mind), for example, using complex mental algorithms to predict other people’s thoughts and feelings.

This would be akin to a visually impaired person using echolocation; the strategy does not simply circumvent the impairment like a white stick does, but provides an alternative way to form a spatial representation that enables navigation skills.

Strategies that enable an alternative route to solve the cognitive difficulty in question (e.g. successfully solve theory of mind, albeit differently to neurotypical people): Flexibly use built catalogue of possible interpretations of others’ mental states, based on a combination of multiple sources of information (e.g. logic, context, facial expression, tone of voice); substitute others’ values/interests with your own or those of a TV/book character to infer their mental state

When it comes to how asd are presented esp in afab individuals, camouflaging or masking is something that is often present. (You can test here if you score high or low on these, link goes to the CAT-Q test), in a nutshell the following table describes what each behaviour is:

I have already come across most of this online (or in books) when reading about masking, but deep compensation strategies - in which a person can use a different part of the brain to perform a function, often solving intellectually what most people solve by instinct - were a new concept to me and helped me a lot, since it is often co-present with other strategies but was rarely talked about.

(Venn diagrams showing the number of a Diagnosed and b Non-diagnosed participants that reported using masking, shallow compensation, deep compensation and/or accommodation strategies. Overall, participants were more likely to report strategies across multiple types, than a single strategy type. This pattern was broadly similar between the two groups, but there was a significant group difference in shallow compensation)

The biggest take away is that, when this becomes an ingrained habit, people will be able to "understand" social cues and to deduce what people are thinking/feeling (especially when combined with acommodations in the environment) and this can come up as a failure to identify with a few traits people with asd have (but still feel autistic).

 Deep compensation (subtheme), involving complex and flexible strategies, contributed to some improvements in social cognition. Some participants reported using pattern detection and internal data modelling (gesture + facial expression + context = particular mental state) to understand others. These strategies, although hard to implement at first, could become “second nature” with time.

 To modulate compensatory efforts, many participants described compensating after logically assessing the costs versus benefits (subtheme). For example, compensation was considered worthwhile to make a positive impression towards a friendship, but not for interactions with inconsequential strangers. In superficial interactions, masking was preferred over compensatory strategies to conserve resources.

Compensation typically resulted in a lack of support in adulthood because participants looked “too normal” (subtheme). Employed participants reported that employers and colleagues held them to a neurotypical standard, which resulted in social errors not being interpreted in the context of autism. Because autistic characteristics went undetected by others, many participants reported that it was difficult to request, and they were unlikely to receive, workplace accommodations. 

“I think I observe patterns in behaviour and then try to transfer this. So if a person is behaving x/y/z types of ways, they could be feeling or thinking what so and so people had felt. It's almost a case of systematically storing little patterns in each person and the context, so I can refer to it in future.”

There is another quote that I loved but simply cannot find rn. It must be somewhere in the papers or related literature, so I recommend reading it if you are willing. I also found some great charts last night that i can't locate rn.

Personally, I was quite shocked to find out that people take social cues by instinct, because i legit thought everyone deduced what people feel/think and it was second nature to them simply because they had more social interaction and were more at ease around people and therefore social interaction becomes better with time after you learn and become familiar with different behaviours and learn how to react. I thought this was the "normal way" people go through life and some were simply more skilled at it (learning faster and better at deducing). Well, it seems it is not the case. I can't make any good summary of the papers, but I hope the quotes I shared here can help some people as they have helped me.

[dexmads]

autistic culture is please don't infatilize me don't make me into a child don't treat me like a kid don't talk to me like i am a little boy don't be chocked everytime i do something a person over eighteen would do as if just turned nine

[11secondsfromabaddecision]

Ok so we all love a hyperfixation but does anyone else ever avoid certain things because you feel like you don't have the time to be fixated on that, or that you aren't in the right headspace for this to become your latest obsession

[foxofninetales]

[mochegato]

Yep

[marauderundercover]

Indeed

[unfilteredautism]

All the time

[aspen-mayne]

Autistic people are supposed to strictly follow rules. But what I've found is the rules that I follow are just the rules that make sense to me, usually morally or logically. I don't follow a lot of traditional rules, such as respect your elders. That rule doesn't make sense to me because age does not automatically equal more wisdom or more kindness. This goes for other weird rules too. If I can't make a sound argument for why they exist, then I won't adhere to them.

Most of the rules that I follow or struggle to break are the rules I have made for myself, or rules I have been given by others that I can rationalize. For instance, I don't drink and drive, I don't condone violence, and I try to do kind things when possible (returning someone's dropped necklace at the store, helping an old man get his coat on).

So the rules that autistic people don't necessarily have to be societal or social rules, but they can actually be rules they've made for themselves .

[kitten-no-1472-deactivated20260]

I don't think people with moderate to high empathy understand the guilt of not being able to genuinely empathize with others.

Don't show empathy? People will think you're cold and apathetic. Fake empathy? Feel so guilty because you're not being sincere and genuine

[bicth]

[callistomist-deactivated2020091]

I decided to create a masterpost that would help you with what you are struggling with. Hopefully any of the links below will help you! Reminder; You’re going to be okay. What you are going through will pass, just remember to breathe. 

————————————————————————————-

Distractions;

Here are some distractions to help keep your mind occupied so you aren’t too focused on your thoughts. 

-Draw something

-This website translates the time into colours.

-Create your own galaxy.

-Play flowing.

-Make a 3D line travel where ever you like. 

-Listen to music.

-Calm.

-Ocean mood, do nothing for two minutes.

Sleep issues; 

- 8 hour sleep music.

-Rainy mood. 

-Meditation.

-Coping with nightmares.

-How to cope with nightmares, 11 steps.

-Calm

-Foods that can affect your sleeping, both positive and negatively. 

 Uncomfortable with silence; 

-Rainy mood.

-10 hours of rain and thunder.

-3 hours of rain and thunder.

-Human heartbeat.

-Rainforest.

-Sound of rain on a tin roof.

-Autumn wind.

-Rain on a tent

-Traffic in the rain.

-Soft traffic. 

-Fan.

-Train.

-Simply noise.

-My noise.

-Rainy cafe.

Anxiety; 

-How to stop worrying. 

-Tips to manage anxiety and stress.

-The 10 best ever anxiety management techniques. 

-Self-help strategies for anxiety. 

-Helping a friend with anxiety. 

-All about worrying.

-8 myths about anxiety. 

Sad, angry and depressed/depression; 

-“I’m always sad”

-Feeling sad.

-Going through trauma.

-“I’m always angry”.

-Anger management. 

-All about anger.

-National helplines and websites.

-Self-help strategies for depression.

-Dealing with depression at work.

-Dealing with depression at school.

Isolation and loneliness; 

-Pets and mental health.

-All about loneliness. 

-“I feel so alone”

-10 more ideas to help with loneliness. 

-How to deal with loneliness.

 Self-harm;

-Alternatives to self-harm and distraction techniques.

-146 things to do besides self-harm.

-More alternatives to self-harm.

-Self-harm alternatives.

-How to take care of self-harm wounds/injuries.

-Getting rid of scars.  

Addiction; 

-How to help a friend with a drug addiction.

-What is addiction?

-All about alcohol and addiction.

-The facts about drug addiction.

 Eating disorders; 

-Helping a friend with an eating disorder.

-Eating disorder treatments. 

-Support services for eating disorders. 

-Self-help tips with eating disorders.

-Eating disorder recovery. 

-Recovering from an eating disorder. 

-100+ reasons to recover. 

-Understanding and managing eating disorders. 

 Dealing with self-hatred;  

-3 ways to ease self-loathing. 

-How to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.

-Self-hatred resources.

-10 step plan to deal with self-hate. 

 Suicidal; 

-International suicide hotlines (1)  (2)

-Preventing suicide. 

-Reasons to stay alive.

-Dealing with suicidal thoughts and feelings.

-Coping with suicidal ideation.  

 Schizophrenia;

-All about schizophrenia.  

-Helping a person with schizophrenia.  

-Understanding and dealing with schizophrenia.  

-Delusions and hallucinations.  

OCD;

-Managing your OCD at home. 

-Overcoming OCD.

-How to cope with OCD. 

-Strategies for dealing with the anxious moments. 

Borderline personality disorder; 

-Helping someone with BPD. 

-All about personality disorders.

-Treatment for BPD.

Abuse; 

-Healthy relationships VS abusive relationships. 

-Emotional abuse

-Overcoming sexual abuse. 

-Hotlines services. 

-5 ways to escape an abusive relationship. 

-Domestic violence support. 

-Signs of an abusive relationship. 

-What do to if you’re in an abusive relationship. 

-Surviving abuse. 

-What you can do if you’re sexual harassed. 

-Sexual assault support.

-What to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted or abused. 

 Bullying;

-How to stand up against bullying.

-How to protect yourself when it comes to cyber bullying.

-How to help stop people bullying you. 

 Loss and grief; 

-How to cope with a suicide of a loved one.

-Grieving for a stranger. 

-Common reactions to death. 

-Working through grief.

(Other loss and grief)

-Moving away from friends and family. 

-Coping with a breakup.

 Getting help; 

-Seeking help early. 

-All about psychological treatments. 

-Types of help.

-All about age and confidentiality. 

Things you need to remember; 

- Don’t stress about being fixed because you’re not broken.

-Remember to remind yourself of your accomplishments. Tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself, even if you’re not. 

- This is temporary. You won’t always feel like this. 

-You are not alone. 

-You are enough. 

-You are important. 

-You are worth it. 

-You are strong. 

-You are not a failure, 

-Good people exist. 

-Reaching out shows strength. 

-Breathe. 

-Don’t listen to the thoughts that are not helping you. 

-Give yourself credit. 

-Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, for the good or bad ones. 

-Treat yourself the same way as you would treat a good friend. 

-Focus on the things you can change. 

-Let go of toxic people. 

-You don’t need to hide, you’re allowed to feel the way you do. 

-Try not to beat yourself up. 

-Something is always happening, you don’t want to miss out on what’s going to happen next. 

-You are not a bother.

-Your existence is more than your appearance. 

-You are smart. 

-You are loved. 

-You are wanted. 

-You are needed. 

-Better days are coming. 

-Just because your past is dark, doesn’t mean your future isn’t bright. 

-You have more potential than you think. 

- Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

Please remember to look after yourself and know that you are more than worth it and you deserve to be happy. Keep smiling butterflies x

[tiggys-bitch]

this is so important oh my gosh

[audible-smiles]

the social norm of “its your ethical responsibility to be constantly aware of, and angry about, every bad thing happening in the world at all times, even if you can’t possibly do anything about it” is possibly the best way I can imagine to create burnout and cynicism and depression in a population, so good job guys

[femclasscirce]

This is very important

[202035]

Its weird bc half of me is constantly worried about being a bad person and trying as hard as possible to be pleasant and wonderful and adored and the other half of me just wants to stop caring so fucking much and just be. The I-need-to-be-a-good-person half is convinced that if I do that though, the truth will be revealed that I am actually a terrible person who only cares about herself which makes her a monster incapable of empathy. It's like I can't imagine a balance, it's inconceivable to be both a good person as well as respect yourself and your needs. Like hello brain, those two aren't mutually exclusive.... this perisistant belief that if I stop putting up this self effacing facade I'm going to be horrible is the reason I am genuinely surprised when I find myself actually doing something good/feeling real sorrow for someone (as opposed to the imposed "u better feel bad bc otherwise it means u have no empathy" sort of sadness)

[202035]

Is there like a specific term for intrusive thoughts about being straight? Like men are sexually repulsive to me in every way but whenever I see one my brain immediately is like hey picture urself sucking his dick! Is that sexy? Do u find that attractive? Imagine having sex with him! Blah blah blah and it makes me extremely uncomfortable and disgusted on top of making me doubt my sexuality (which is absurd because these thoughts make me sick in the first place so?????)

[ocd-frog]

I'm gay and I have the exact same thing! I wish it wasn't called homosexual OCD and was just called like "sexuality ocd" or somethin

[202035]

But yeah fr like can u believe... some homosexuals... have OCD and in fact, find heterosexuality extremely distressing....insane I know

[ocdoctopus]

hi, i have questioned my sexuality for years and i always kind of knew i was gay, but lately i've been worrying that maybe i was making it all up and i'm straight after all because of my ocd. like what if that whole time i thought i was gay it was just an obsession? i'm pretty sure it's not, because i know deep down that i'm gay, but the obsession that i might be straight is making me question everything and i was wondering is this common?

Hi there :) This is common! I have gotten multiple asks very similar to this. It’s something that both gay and straight people experience and it’s often referred to as SO- OCD  or HOCD (the SO standing for sexual orientation and the H standing for homosexual or heterosexual depending on the situation). 

Here is an article about it that explains it more:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/culturally-speaking/201201/sexual-orientation-obsessions-in-ocd

I probably give this advice 50 times a day, but it remains true: your intrusive thoughts are just that: intrusive. They are not an indication of what you really think or who you truly are. Your illness wants to convince you to that they are, but your illness is wrong. You know who you are and your identity is valid regardless of what your OCD is trying to tell you. Please remember that you’re not alone; many people have gone through the same thing and come out on the other side. <33

I don’t have much personal experience with this type of OCD, so if anyone who does has advice to offer, please speak up! 

Much love to you anon; I am always here if you need a listening ear :)

[defectivegembrain]

*mainstream OCD information voice* the type known as "homosexual OCD" where straight people worry about being gay and of course it's an appropriate term because gay and straight are the only options and of course no gay person would ever worry about actually being straight lol