Overly Obsessed with Everything

Seasons change, so do I. Schizospec, chronic illness, memes, etc. Read my bio :) Ask Box is always open.

[221bluescarf]

I try to remember to add trigger warnings to posts, but sometimes forget. If you see something here that belongs to you, send a message and I’ll edit to add your info or delete it

Also, I'm an Adultᵗᵐ -something I forget because I've been on this site for over ten years

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐨

[thepeacefulgarden]

[64mpg]

“what is the target audience of this post” what?????? does your diary have a target audience

[64mpg]

the target audience of all of my posts is me

[nevver]

[221bluescarf]

living with my parents at times can get so upsetting. they get frustrated, I get frustrated... its a cycle of me not doing well and everyone getting tired of it and I try harder but then my failure makes it even worse. It's especially a problem for my relationship with my dad.

My therapist keeps suggesting I look into other living situations, some temporary and some not.

Decisions like that are too big for me. Sometimes I just want someone to tell me what to do. Better yet I just want the problem to go away.

[dogpuppy]

[221bluescarf]

it really feels terrible to be doing ok with some things like conversation yet be so bad with other things like decisions and instructions. Like I feel people think I'm stupid on purpose because since I'm not incoherent I must be perfectly capable of taking care of my adult life

[shadowen]

This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.

[wooteena]

crazy how there are only 2 hours of doing things every day before you keel over and die. if this werent normal id be worried

[fibro-memes]

[beardedmrbean]

[221bluescarf]

sometimes I'm just so sick of living like this I can't do it anymore

[avidcollectorofdust]

Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot

[toastbutteregg]

i needed to read this today so im sharing it to all of you!!

[nature-travel-photography]

The Netherlands - Author: SoftlyUnhingeddd

[221bluescarf]

Even though sometimes the voices have the capacity to make me feel really bad, at times I want them around because it's like they put a screen between me and the real world and it makes the real world hurt just a little less

and it makes me miss them during times when they're gone

perhaps even enough to be tempted to not take my meds

I had a therapist tell me I'm not the only one but it's hard not to feel like no one would understand

[221bluescarf]

I really hate it when I get super down on myself about being able-bodied and yet unable to accomplish things

In my dad's mind, cleaning work is the most approachable form of work that a person can do but he feels I don't want to do it because it's not "glamorous" or "nice" like an office job. It's not that though. I've done cleaning for a long time and was never ashamed or disappointed. But as my illness took over it got harder and harder until I would just sit on the floor of the business, unable to do my job.

A therapist in IOP told me to google "avolition in schizophrenia" and "executive function in schizophrenia" and tell her if I feel better about it tomorrow. It did help me feel better. But now I'm back to being afraid people think it's just a convenient excuse.