Even more quarantine food: Pizzette Fritte
Greetings my children and childrain’t, I have been quarantined for over two weeks and all that’s keeping me sane is the study of latin, which I have hated with a burning passion my entire life. Oh, how the turns have tabled indeed. Anyway, here’s some food.
DISCLAIMER: This is my southern Italian mother’s recipe, so if you think you’re gonna come here and find measurements, you’re a coward and a fool.
To disappoint several generations worth of mothers who probably did this differently and are all simultaneously cursing you right now despite this being a relatively easy recipe, you will need:
Flour (manitoba flour - or bread flour for you all Anglo-Saxons out there - works best)
Salt (always keep a 5:1 flour:salt ratio. eg, if you use 1kg of flour, use 20g of salt)
Yeast - a bit but much less than the salt
Water - however much you’ll need
Years of repressed anger (essential)
As I previously mentioned, we’re Italian - we measure ingredients by summoning the spirits of our long gone great grandmothers and letting them speak to our hearts. So hold the dry ingredients up to your heart and let them speak. Next, you’re gonna want to keep adding water - and flour, if necessary - until you have a soft, gentle dough that doesn’t stick to your hands. If it’s a sticky little boy, add more flour a little bit at a time, if it’s dry do the same with water.
Knead with as much anger as you can channel through your dainty little hands. You need to beat the shit out of that dough. I’m serious.
Cover with a towel and let it raise, ideally overnight. If you’re an impatient little shit, at least leave it alone for a few hours. Please.
Once the dough has doubled in size, divide into little balls of dough that you’re then gonna flatten into discs about the size of your hand. Deep fry those suckers. Take a very Italian picture of the process with a moka and a single cookie in it.
Drain the oil and serve with whatever condiments and toppings you like. However, I must warn you: if I see the shadow of a pineapple on these I will personally come to your house and pour boiling oil onto your hands. I will make you wish you were never born.
Always remember that I love you lots. Stay safe, stay inside, don’t skip meals.