Foolish

*********TRIGGER WARNING******** (I DO NOT promote or encourage ANY TYPE of self harm, suicide or ANY Mental Health issues!) ~ in recovery ~ England ~ This is a side blog, if you follow me I will follow back as nuttybutseriousetash. Just a safe(ish) place where I can express my thoughts and feelings. ~ Fighting Mental Health issues. ~ 🇬🇧

[4-ever-desperate]

Recovery takes time . . .

It’s going to be okay,

I’m going to be okay,

Things will get better,

It’s just going to take time,

Recovery takes time.

[nuttybutseriousetash]

19/09/2023 3:50pm

I don’t think I’ve ever felt peace like this. I fully accept the consequences and what I will be doing shortly. It should be easier enough, especially now I’m on hourlys. And if not, I’ve still got the other way which is on going. Death is just as hard and gruelling as life, and sometimes just as long. Which I accept. I am 100% comfortable with my decision.

Thank you everyone for being so great. This may be the last time I post, might not. All depends on the outcomes.

Thank you and good night

[4-ever-desperate]

So was put on 15 minutes observations for an hour, as soon as night staff came on, they took me off of them. At least I get to try again. And I know between 1am and 4am they don’t do checks anyway so that’s even better for me!!

[nuttybutseriousetash]

When you realise you are truly nothing to them. Everything shines brightest in the dark … and all of you guys true colours have shined bright this time so there is no mistaking where I fit in my - sorry - YOUR family…. Even those online are starting to not want me around either. So it’s something to do with me, family has somehow poisoned everyone else to hate me too or I’m just not meant for this place.

[nuttybutseriousetash]

I had to let it out somehow… because talking to staff isn’t helping and I have no one in my corner. Because when I do try and talk about stuff, I get muddled and fixated and the words I use isn’t right. So now I am just residing myself to just sit and ignore everyone and only talk to anyone if I REALLY need to. I might (might not) show this to staff or the dr or my social worker. Or all three. Or not.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“I don’t think people understand how stressful it is to explain what’s going on in your head when you don’t even understand it yourself.”

— Sara Quin

[4-ever-desperate]

Still true to this day …. Unfortunately 😪

[4-ever-desperate]

What do I do? …

[4-ever-desperate]

Still here… unfortunately. I don’t have the energy to try and attempt again. But I don’t have the energy to keep going… I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don’t know what to do, where to go or who to turn to.

[4-ever-desperate]

No one cares, so I’m just going to slip away quietly…. There is no more help.

[4-ever-desperate]

4 hours…..

[4-ever-desperate]

3 hours and 20 minutes…..

[4-ever-desperate]

4 hours…..

[4-ever-desperate]

The dark side is winning….

[4-ever-desperate]

Haven’t posting here for ages. Things haven’t been good. I’ve have gotten some answers but no support on how to deal with the issues I’ve been re diagnosed with. So now I’m sat in a crisis placement for 23 hours…. Just to be sent home and continue to struggle :/

[4-ever-desperate]

No one believes me. So I'm just gonna slip away quietly at home. Because no one with authority seems to care.

[y-are-you-still-here]

Having to mentally talk myself in and out of suicide every day is exhausting

[4-ever-desperate]

What's the point....

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]