OKAY so I was studying abroad and YES I DID get the typhoid fever vaccine. and the thing about vaccines is they're very close to 100% effective if you're a normal human being who doesn't literally subject yourself to the worst case scenarios imaginable. at a certain point your immune system is like "I'm so sorry I know we're vaccinated but this is too much for me, goodbye"
so of course I was eating street food every single day because it was $1 and I was a student!!! I also smoked weed 24/7 and had the constitution of a little wretched lamb because of possibly lifelong undiagnosed hypothyroidism.
anyway I kept eating street food and ended up in the hospital with a fever, they gave me shots in my ass for malaria, and I stayed overnight. this was the hospital where I ran out of my IV fluids overnight and then my own blood started pumping out of my body back up the line into the empty IV bag which was NOT a thing I thought blood could do!! I shambled around the hospital in the dead of night wheeling around this IV bag slowly filling with my own blood like "hello is anybody here" and I found this pile of clothes in a dark room that turned out to be a nurse and she helped me out. anyway.
so i went home and hung out for a week or so like "hmm my tummy still hurts." that was ME walking around shitting out typhoid FOR A WEEK. eventually I was like euuguhh I guess I should go to the doctor. and then I got there and they were like HA-HA! YOU HAVE TYPHOID!
I had to stay 3 nights in the hospital and it was literally like the worst life-changing cleansing experience. nobody else was in the room with me, nobody spoke to me for 3 days except the doctor for like 5 minutes a day. the TV was permanently set to soap operas and I couldn't change it. I had 1 book which I read in 4 hours and hated. I would later tear the pages out and use them as toilet paper. I texted my boyfriend who was back in the states and told him I was breaking up with him. I think I hallucinated. but the breaking up part was probably the best thing to come out of that!!
oh also I had NO CLOTHES except 1 cheap slip-on dress that I had sweated in so much that there was an actual DYED IMPRINT OF THE DRESS PATTERN ON THE HOSPITAL BED. I was literally so gross and called my friends to bring me clean underwear from my dorm and they did, and they were also so mean and took selfies with me while I was disgusting even though I told them not to (I love them and I still talk to them 10 years later). I have the pics somewhere but it's me sweaty delirious & reeling and looking like I'm going to bite someone while my friends are making peace signs posing around me.
I ended up getting out of the hospital and everyone back at the dorm was like "wow we thought you were dead!" and then I immediately went back to eating street food.
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