Tldr: need more liminal or weirdcore music recommendations that aren't the famous ones. But I recommend reading
I need to get out of here. It's all too much. I have no idea how anyone can keep themselves sane in the upside down world.
Whenever I see a liminal space, something in my heart stirs. A little forgotten fragment of mine that's lost in places I can never go to. I desperately want to step into every liminal space I see. I want to run in endless fields, and follow the powerline towers beyond the horizon. I want to run through empty malls, and lay on the floors of empty basements. I want to walk the empty streets, and stare at a bright, sunless sky.
A piece of me knows that the absence of anything else will terrify me. I would start running, running away from things that aren't there, and I'd do it happily. Run with my breath never faulting, and my legs never giving out, because I suspect you would never get tired there, no matter the last time you slept.
I'm afraid of the dark, but not of that dark. That dark is merely a hug in between the places you want to go, or the edge of the destination itself.
I want to go to the lonely lights, walk in snow-drenched neighborhoods, sit in at an empty birthday party.
I want to forget that time exists, see clock faces without any hands. And I want time to forget that it has to pass me by. I want to go to a time that never was, and never will be.
I want to play all the games in an empty arcade, and eat at the darkened neon food court. I only wish to see incandescent lights and neon bulbs, not the endless LEDs that line the highways.
I want to walk between buildings in the dark, without fear of being followed. I want to sit on top of bridges and buildings and walls, and never fall off.
I'd want to do it alone. Be entirely alone with my memories in places I am familiar with and have never been to. I want to sit in a room that's not mine, and claim it as my own.
I want to hear the silence and the sound. Hear the quiet that comes with nothing. Hear the sound of what it's like to dream and never wake up.
I want to step out of this place. Out of these feelings and fears; pluck the anxiety out of my chest, place it on the floor, and watch it scamper under my bed.
When I look at these places, liminal spaces, the feelings change.
Anxiety goes, and comfort replaces.
I want to step out of this world, and step in between the here and the there. Head away from what's bad, and towards something good.
I want to sit in dark parks, swing on snow-covered swing sets without getting cold. I want to live, without being reminded by the little pains here and there that remind me that I will die.
Speaking of friends, i hope there would be friends there. I dont care what they would have for a head: an eye, a bird, or merely a skull. I'd just want them to be nice, and up for a walk along abandoned train tracks.
Maybe I'd look different too, over there. In visible body, no face, and the most brilliant eyes you'd ever seen. Maybe I could change day to day, look just how I was feeling. Maybe i could finally express my thoughts and feelings the same way the voice in my head does.
But I cant go there. Cant walk through a doorway and not come out on the other side. Cant walk behind a tree and appear behind another. Cant escape the rat in my chest that scurries and skitters under my ribs and over my heart.
But I can pretend, I guess. Pretend that I took the old tv remote, and hit pause, and I kept going while the world stopped. Pretend to walk empty roads, run around empty houses and malls, and pretend I dont have anything wrong with me.
I've heard most of the music that people listen to for this: hey kids, still life, deep swim, mice on venus, dry hands and all of the other songs on popular playlists.
Do you know anyone else who sounds like they're dreaming?
tangentwithtanner
blakekathryn
andulkaphoto
turnnoffyourmind
areudirty
