cool beans @5he-w0lf - Tumblr Blog

When does it stop hurting? When will I stop missing you? I just want to be happy again, ffs.

I truly believe that you were the first person that ever fell in love with me. Oh sure, there were people before you that I loved, and who liked me well enough for a time. But you- You would spend hours carding your fingers through my hair as I read. You once told me all of the little habits I had that you found endearing. You wrote poetry about my eyes. You used to keep me awake until four in the morning, talking about any subject that crossed your mind, but I never minded because you have always been so fascinating to me. So when you stopped loving me, it was the first time that I really believed that the terrible parts of me were greater than the beautiful things. I didn’t realize that I would lose myself along with you.

K.S. (via raindrop-petal)

#this is so accurate it's scary

wallpaperprintery

you said…

request @baby-girlkinks

stability

boutella

doublestuffedoreolover

Basically a tumblr post right there

roslips

xpublicfigure-deactivated201812

I literally don’t speak spanish but this was a wild trip

demure-dratini

I’m so confused and disturbed and disgusted. What just happened here?

micdotcom

Do this four times repeatedly and you’ll be out. But how does it work? There’s some real brain science behind it.

discoverynews

We’re trying this tonight!

askragtatter

It’s about time someone got around to uncovering all the cheat codes for this “human being” software. It’s only been out for like 10,000 years.

businesshag-deactivated20160606

#me

lemonstickynote

Jake Daulby - Walking On the Moon by The Police

#go jakeyyyyyy

borderline-sunflower-deactivate

i was on the train and 3 drunk girls saw me and said i had nice brown eyes so they sang “brown eyed girl” to me

5348674174-deactivated20150510

I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.

locke-fuckscottlynch78-lamora

At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee

kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201

a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and whispered “count olaf”

wizzard890

once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”

erincrocodile-deactivated202006

A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.

mcdonalds-money

Drunk girls, saving your life one wtf at a time.

chicanaspice-deactivated2018011

one time a drunk girl started crying because she said she loved my eyebrows so much

cephalopodink

black mambas probably have my least favorite faces because an animal that venomous should not be making a face like it’s thinking of a joke that it’s the only one in on

vintar

holy shit you’re right

calamitycons

THAT IS THE HAPPIEST SNAKE I HAVE EVER SEEN

achievement-hunter

#it’s happy because it knows it’s safe from everything

funniest-stuff

Guy in the background using the force

prostrider

Cheeky nandos Australian translation

Righto mate it’s like this, you’re havin’ a sunday sesh gettin fuckin’ maggot with the boys, havin’ a right piss up and it’s fully sick. Daveo and Steveo are settin up the barbie to cook some snags but ya fuckin’ gas bottle’s carked it! Bazza’s like who’s keen for a maccas run but you had maccas for brekky and Tommo had it this arvo. Then Archie, the fuckin’ mad cunt he is, goes hey boys I’ll be DD, piles us into the commodore (SSV cuz he’s on big mobs of cash doin FIFO) and we all cruise down to Nandos for a feed.