5pace 1nvader

amy | 22 | mostly queued | all i have are dreams because i suck at real life | promote your tumblr!

[gaycop]

top reasons to get married

Firmly saying “That’s my wife!” and knock someone out in one punch

love i guess

[sparrow-va]

john mulaney ghostwrote this

[doktorgirlfriend]

Brain: You’re a horrible, worthless, garbage person, and your life is going nowhere but to hell.

Me: I don’t know what the fuck you expect me to do about that at 11PM, my dude.

[tankaramo]

me: *has a breakdown over smth stupid* me @ me:

[daily-showerthoughts]

Bob’s Burgers would also be an appropriate title for SpongeBob SquarePants

[yourbigsisnissi]

[xmenlesbians]

Flat Bigfoot Theory: They’ve never caught him on camera because he turns 90 degrees and becomes too thin to see. 

[xmenlesbians]

Flat Earth Theory is OUT, Flat Bigfoot Theory is IN

[wanghedi]

This is the THE hottest take I’ve ever heard

[knifepadme]

i didnt shovel enough driveways as a kid so i didnt build enough character and thats why im the way that i am 

[ferretrade]

i have never had to mow a lawn and you can tell

[toadoasis]

Me: *listening to various genres of god knows what* Spotify trying to make my discover weekly:

[100493503004422]

not to be unnecessarily fake deep on a wednesday afternoon but I feel like I don’t have a personality also that I’m not real

[wofmutual-deactivated20181120]

wheel of fortune

puzzle: H E _ _ O

category: greeting

contestant: spins

wheel: $5000

contestant: L!

pat: no L

[missouri-misery]

This is a horror novel

[whereshadowsmakeshadows-deactiv]

Filling out course evaluations for classes you did shitty in

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it’s 2018 please put the k back in thicc

[pandora15]

thikc

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

you know what, I’ll take it

[catboymuqing-moving]

bill and ted but with 2010s slang would be fucking lethal

[catboymuqing-moving]

this is most un-woke ted my dude

[vedajuno]

*both in unison* oh, biggest mood

[taquito]

im stuck here with u dumb virgins 😡😡

[sweetpinkypromises]

Me the day after getting my asshole fingerblasted behind a 7-Eleven at 3:01 AM

[taquito]

[catchymemes]

[eightbitwave]

Elon Musk and Grimes in 2 years

[simoncowellilluminati-deactivat]

Elon Musk and Grimes tomorrow

[sorryfortheraybans-deactivated2]

[marimopet]

[crap-userrname16]

[satanicvaginas2-deactivated2020]

girl what he do