7000 Books and Counting

[7000booksandcounting]

Review: One Night Wife - Ainslie Paton

TLDR: 6* (yes, I know it’s out of 5, I loved it)

“Can I swear? Please? %#@@^@^%$! This was $#@%ing awesome. So awesome I might have read until 4 am, again. Everything about this book was perfect - I wanted it to be longer only because I wanted to read more but really there was nothing left in the story to tell. Everything was spot on - good tone, quality writing, well paced, no loose ends, amusement, heat, a little bit of annoyance at the idiot male. Great work overall. I especially liked the consistency - the main character starts out shy but desperate and then grows into her own with his tutelage, no back and forth or dithering, just believable progress. There was enough description to make the world believable without making it over the top or missing - no need to go into the art gallery exhibits merely their existence as background. And, above all, it makes me want to read everyone else's story. It's a great jump off to create a storyverse from this with the family members because you can get just enough to be vested in their unique personalities as secondary characters. The parents are so darn sweet I even want to read theirs! Please make this into a series!”

Themes: 

Love, cons, robin hood, thieves, lust, con artists, passion, Charity/High end donors, environmental causes, family, 

Main Review: (No spoilers) 

The world of the uber rich is something that most of us plebs often resent. We know we will never get there, and yet we know there are people in the world who can drop more than we make in a lifetime and not bat an eyelid. That is well capitalized here. With a cool and suave con the Sherwoods have successfully infiltrated this world yet remained outsiders, choosing instead to “Robin Hood” these rich bastards for everything they can - as long as they’re bad people. There’s a nice social justice ring to everything, all the money is ALWAYS going to good causes asides from keeping up appearances and for an emergency getaway fund (smart). 

I love the family. They’re secondary characters but they appear enough to be relevant to the story and to create the interest that you’d like to know more about them, therefore setting the stage for the next book. You can feel the connection between them and how close they are yet none of them have let the scungy (we’ll get to that word in a minute) world around them turn them into one of those rich bastards. 

The main character is believable in so many ways. She’s very flawed, and very human which is what makes her easy to connect with. From her mangy, misnamed (Scungy), ugly, vicious yet lovable cat, to the fact that she’s literally willing to do anything to save her last attempt at not being a failure. And haven’t we all wanted to stick it to the ex when they’ve walked in unexpectedly? Yeah, you go girl. I especially like that she’s clued in enough to notice that there’s more going on than she’s told yet smart enough to know when it isn’t the right time to comment. I liked her, I genuinely liked her which went a long way to wanting things to work out. 

As for her love interest Cal. Well, Cal is probably the man of most of our dreams - hot, charismatic, “rich”, and yet at heart he’s a guy who wants to sit on the couch with takeout and watch netflix while being a gentleman enough to walk away without getting in her pants. You can almost taste her frustration at times with that last part. That being said, if you’re looking for graphic, steamy scenes you’re not going to get them. Asides from a few heated kisses and some blatant lust most of the sexy stuff is at the end and kept to a minimum rather than being graphic. While normally this would have peeved me I think it was the right choice. It would not have added to the story at all and instead helped me focus more on the plot lines - which were twisted enough that you wandered what she was going to stumble into next (or get mad about) or what gallant action Cal was going to take to keep her safe. 

As far as things that bothered me everything was so consistent I actually applaud the writer. There were no loose ends - or at least no loose ends that couldn’t be expounded upon with more books in the same storyverse (hint hint). In fact, I want to know what all those other terms they have about their cons mean! 

The Ending:

This was the only part I think I would have liked a little more to. When she’s in Africa there’s the very touching “aha” moment with the boy and her watch, but I feel I would have liked more information about how she was feeling, her taking a little more time there, and having some more experiences than that single moment. Considering the complexity of what has occurred it seems just that little to clean.

I’m not considering this a spoiler, because let’s face it we know they’re going to end up together when we pick up a book like this. While it might not be considered the ending in truth, the fact that they finally get together at Alex’s party is a real relief for the reader. You want to just tell them to hurry up and screw already but Paton manages to make it touching, meaningful, and lustful without it dissolving into either a raunchy sex scene or an obscenely sappy love moment. 

I loved the fact that she was forced to rationalize between the obvious con man with the shell game, and the fact that while the Sherwoods are technically con artists they are not con artists like the shell game. It’s very cute that Cal let’s her win with the shells and essentially she’s his prize at the end of it. It really was a good ending. 

[7000booksandcounting]

Review: Don’t Trust Me - Jessica Lynch

TLDR:  2*

“Short, rushed, and frankly annoying. The plot sounded great on paper, the actual execution of it was, at best, half-assed. I got a few pages in and spotted that I'd already read 30% which immediately made me think this was going to be rushed and I was right. Pace was far too uniformly fast. BAM, BAM, BAM, finished. I HATED the ending. The fact that the entire story is written/read one way and the ending shows a wholly different side/story was frustrating, confusing, and downright p'd me off. The "hint" of another murderer was so obviously fake you could spot it as soon as it happened, the fact that the author tried to use behavior that was so very opposite of the character until then made me believe this was a forced twist because otherwise, again, it would have been so obvious it hurt. Very little character development (obviously or you'd figure the ending out before you were 2 pages (aka 1/4) of the way in. I can see why this was rewritten/re-released in the hope of being improved, I hate to think how bad it was before. It reads like the author had a great idea, started well, then rushed to meet some imaginary deadline or shorter word count. It would probably make a good serial in a magazine where if you miss 3/4 of it you still know what happens as long as you read the first and last chapters.”

Themes: 

Whodunnit, wrongly accused, mystery, murder, small town, (I would add romance, but frankly the attempt at it was so terrible I don’t think it can be put in there without pain).

Main Review: (spoilers marked in italics)

The actual writing of this book was good. Syntax great, style good, as a writer I can appreciate a well worded and well written attempt. Honestly, I think there was potential here and not just because it was well edited and most was well phrased. 

The plot was good. Strangers after a mishap end up in a small remote town while on vacation, husband is murdered, wife is a suspect, who did it? There was some “didn’t see it coming” but mostly because there were completely pointless random acts thrown in and by about halfway it became increasingly evident that this book was floundering. As strangers in town there were only so many avenues as to who could have killed Jake - people chasing them from home, random act of violence, or someone was lying. And by halfway through it was rather obvious that someone was lying even before the tidbit about the calls to a local number. I don’t mind obvious plots, but in a story that survives on a “final” twist to reveal the killer knowing by halfway that the person you’re supposed to think did it is so obviously not the killer means I could have skipped to the end of the book and be done with. 

There were a few things that bothered me about the plot:

The locks at Ophelia. NO ONE is going to stay in a hotel that automatically locks guests into their rooms at 9pm like mental institution, especially some teeny bed and breakfast in Nowhereville. NO ONE. And no way on a security system that complex will the windows not have locks too. I didn’t see the purpose for this other than for her to “get locked in” at one point which could have simply been done by having the door stick or be locked without needing the elaborate lockdown mechanism. 

Mason: Make up your mind about the character. The way he was written it sounded like at first the author wasn’t sure whether she wanted the protagonist to end up with him or Lucas. She dithered between both characters while trying to make the grieving widow not look like a sham for being on a date within 24 hours of her husband dying. Mason goes between “good ol’ boy” to borderline stalker. His personality is too loud, too pushy, and his actions do not fit with the description the author is trying to push. It comes across as fake. And, without giving a spoiler away, frankly it was just too damn obvious he was getting played. The “evidence” was too convenient, too well timed. 

Lucas: So obviously shifty it hurts. From the moment this guy comes on the page you can tell there’s something”off” about him and the way he behaves. He’s not a believable character and you can tell most of the “story” surrounding him isn't real because of the way he’s written. Lucas spoils the entire point of how this book is written - to twist at the end and show that someone wasn't who they thought he was. Sorry, **spoiler - it’s Lucas, the obviously shifty non-shifty character. And you’d have to be stupid not to figure it out by the time they go to the coffeehouse together.** He’s a small town doctor who has never done an autopsy before, well guess what, that’s because a medical examiner is supposed to do that. He’s a small town doctor in a place no one has ever heard of yet he’s invited to lecture at prestigious universities where he manages to meet the victim, ha, no. Lecturers have to have credentials for that or a reason why they’re invited to speak - like a specialty, which this man definitely doesn't possess. There’s nothing believable about him the way he’s written and that’s a good reason the good plot floundered. 

The “evidence”: How did Mason’s gun get used and he didn’t notice? Especially when he was supposedly on duty at the time. I’m pretty sure even a small-town cop will notice his service weapon is gone, especially if he’s a “toe-the-line-do-gooder” in a place where nothing happens. Why is the sheriff so determined it’s the wife? There’s never any actual information given asides from the phone calls and the fact that the spouse is usually a suspect to determine why they don’t even pursue any other lines of inquiry. There’s no backstory, no broadening of the suspect list, it’s ALWAYS the wife even while the author feebly attempts to tell you it’s not. At least give us something to put us on the wrong trail which isn’t so painfully transparent that even Mayberry’s Andy Tailor could figure it out. 

The Gossip Tree: Yes, every small town thrives on gossip. SO USE IT. No one saw Lucas faking? No one knew where her car was? Come on. If the gossip is so important in the town that within minutes Caitlin knows her ex has had coffee with the widow then the curtain twitchers will pass anything like wildfire. Throw in some other rumours to make it less obvious who did it! Throw in some information to throw us off! A good idea which could have developed the plot, wasted because it was underused. 

The ending: 

I love being shocked, I love the ultimate twist at the end that I didn’t see coming. The fact that this was staring me in the face halfway through to book made it more annoying than anything because it was written in a tone that screamed “HA you didn’t know” rather like a toddler who has a blanket over their head tells you that you can’t see them.  **Spoiler: It was half-assed, smug, and made both the wife and Lucas into very unlikeable characters who don’t get their deserved comeuppance. The last 2 chapters seemed like the author had run out of ideas so they simply rushed off the ending to finish it. The idea was cliche - pin it on someone else for the ending to be a surprise, only it was too obviously pinned.** The ending made me dislike the book, I would have given it 3* up until the final chapter as an “okay but not great”. The ending made me wish this was written from a different perspective. If the entire book had been written from Mason’s voice or even Collins as someone investigating the case the ending would have been a good fit. I can’t think of any other way the book and ending didn’t have irreconcilable differences with the main book. It was like a bad marriage of two totally differently written books with the same plot. 

Not a book I will re-read and not a book I will recommend, even as a time passer. But, I can highly recommend someone read this and rewrite a similar story from that other perspective based on it. Perhaps they will do a better job. 

[7000booksandcounting]

Read Me

I live in a world where everyone reads. No really. My mind likes to pretend that people are still driven to find information, learn things, and even escape to a land of fantasy occasionally. 

I don’t remember the first book I read. I may not even remember the last. What I remember is being about 3 or 4 years old and my dad reading The Snow Queen at dinnertime while eating with one hand because I insisted, I remember him reading The War of The Worlds while I was tidying my room before bedtime at 8 (because let’s face it that was an easy way to stay up past bedtime), I remember being given The Child’s Book of Fairytales from 1937 which was inscribed to him as a class prize for good work. Most of our time together was spent with books. I’m old enough to know that no parent lives forever, and that one day my dad won’t be here but all the books we ever read together will be. Books hold memories, they hold experiences, they hold heartbreak, and they hold truth. For me it’s not just about a good story, and yes there is some escapism with the crud I occasionally read. In fact, you can almost tell what sort of mental state I’m in by my choices in reading. 

I've been in the publishing world as a ghostwriter and copywriter for 8 years now. I've written creatively since I was a child. While I’m yet to publish under my own name it will happen eventually. My work has been finalisted in the USA Best Book Award and also Bestseller in it’s category on Amazon. I consider this practice for when I’m ready to actually face having critics because I don’t actually have to see what people think once I hand the manuscripts over. I’m working on it. 

My goal with this blog is to start working on my own more. I review for sites like goodreads, amazon and netgalley, but I try and keep those short because frankly they’re supposed to entice you to read the story or not rather than give you actual insight about the book and it’s themes. I’m planning on dissecting a lot of books. I write blogs for everyone but myself (asides from my journal and the sh1tmymothersays tumblr I also occasionally use). 

I love writing and words, I love exploring, and that’s probably why I’m such a voracious reader. 

The title of this has a lot to do with that. I have over 7000 books on my tablet at this point. It’s crashed apps before. I’ve read almost all of them and I keep running out. I probably read about 200-300 books a year or more (actually my 2018 goodreads reading challenge is set for 300 and I’m a little behind). I probably (ghost)write about half that a year.  

So, in between that, I’m going to share what I read and whether or not you should read it too. Just a warning, I’m honest to a fault. If it’s terrible I won’t hold back, and if it’s great then you really should read it.