Hi! I'm Ally, an aspiring writer and this is my writing blog. I post works for: Merlin, Captain America, SHINee, as well as my original King Arthur series. For a more extensive list of my fandoms, please go to my fandom & ships page. Rest in peace, Jonghyun. You did so well. Prompts are currently CLOSED | Est. 1/29/2016 |
On March 22nd 2017, I framed this picture of you after the best night of my life. I saw you, and your brothers, in concert. I sat far away, but you somehow made it feel like I was in the front row waving my two lightsticks and singing along to your songs.
I had never felt a pain so raw until I heard that you were gone. Perhaps it hurt so bad, because I’d seen your eyes in real life. I’d seen how much you loved us and you saw how much we loved you. I’d never experienced something so powerful, I will never forget it. I will never forget you, Jjong.
> summary: steve looks back on the best christmas he has ever had, and wishes more than anything to relive it.
> ship: stucky
> words: 3257
> song: merry christmas, darling by lea michele
Christmas music fades quietly as he steps into a room far away from the party still bustling. He shuts the door with a click and lets out a sigh before he finds a small loveseat to sit on. He’s nursing a bottle of beer that Sam handed to him a couple hours ago. He took a swig of the now warm alcohol and set it down on the table beside him.
The room he found is an office, he thinks, and it must be Pepper’s. There isn’t enough technology to be Tony’s. He hopes Pepper doesn’t mind him seeking refuge from the activity. Beside the loveseat and table, is a medium sized Christmas tree with white lights. He can smell the hint of cedar and knows that he must be a real tree. He didn’t know people still used those.
Steve sighs and leaned his head back against the plush cushion of the couch. Just as he closes his eyes, the door opens and the music filters into the room. “What are you doing in here?”
“Sitting,” he says. “It was too loud out there.”
“You’re telling me,” the door shuts and then Steve feels the loveseat shift beside him. “Tony is wearing a Santa costume and he is pointing to people telling them they’re his reindeer.”
“Which one are you?” Steve cracks open an eye and looks at Natasha. She looks tired, just like him, but an amused smile is playing on her lips. “Comet or Cupid?”
“Blitzen, actually,” she smirks. “You’re lucky you aren’t out there. Tony would call you Rudolph.”
“Why?”
“Little scrawny guy that turns out to be everyone’s hero,” says Natasha and she rests her head on his shoulder. They fell into a comfortable silence. Steve reaches and put his arm around her shoulders. Her presence is a comfortable one. She shifts, “Why are you in here, Steve?”
He swallows heavily, “What do you mean?”
“I mean exactly what I said. Why are you in here?” she lifts her head up and forces him to look at her. “I thought you loved Christmas.”
“I did. I do,” Steve wets his lips. “It’s a-a good holiday.”
“Steve,” Natasha sounds like a mother scolding her child. “What is going on? Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“Liar,” Natasha punches his chest lightly but then she freezes and her eyes widen. “It’s because of him, isn’t it?”
He sighs, “Nat, it’s fine.”
“You’re missing him,” her words are dripping with pity. “It’s normal, Steve, to miss him. You thought he was dead. And now… He isn’t. I get it. But I think it would help if you distracted yourself. Distractions help.”
“I couldn’t be around everyone right now,” he tells her and it’s true. He couldn’t stand around while eggnog flowed throughout the crowd and the Christmas cheer was heady in the air. “I-I keep thinking about him and I had to get away. I didn’t want to be a downer on everyone’s happiness.”
“You could never be a downer,” Natasha tells him. “Everyone would understand. We all have our pasts and our ghosts.”
“Except my ghost is still alive,” Steve says and emotion builds up inside of him and he clears his throat.
“We help each other get through the rough days, that’s what we do because we’re a family,” Natasha pets his hair. “Whether or not our ghosts are still alive.”
Steve looks over to the Christmas tree. The smell fills his nostrils and he pictures mud beneath his feet and cold imbedding itself into his bones. He can hear the crackling of a fire nearby and the taste of baked beans on his tongue. The memory of a gentle pressure on his lips startles him and he realises that Natasha has been talking to him.
“—Christmas?” her voice cuts in.
“What?”
She smirks, “How did you and Bucky spend Christmas?”
He shrugs, “We didn’t really do anything back then. Neither of us had that much money. Sometimes Bucky would find a bottle of cheap liquor and we’d share it. The Great Depression was not kind.”
“What about during the war?” Natasha asks and Steve realises what she’s doing. She’s trying to get him to talk about it—to think about the good times when Bucky was alive and when Bucky was Bucky.
“We, uh, we didn’t really celebrate, what with the threat of being shot by the Germans.” Steve grabs his beer and drinks from it. “Some of the guys would get letters from home and if they were lucky, they’d get a package with some home-made goods or a picture of their sweetheart. I never did. I had no one to write to me and I had no sweetheart.”
“You had Peggy, didn’t you?” Nat asks him.
He scoffs, “Peggy was sweet but she wasn’t my sweetheart. Far from it, really. I loved her though. She was amazing.” He drank again. “Bucky got a letter once, but there was no address on it so we never knew who it was from. He thought maybe it was Becca, his sister, but there wasn’t any proof. I don’t even think Becca knew that Bucky was in the war so…”
Loud cheers erupt outside the door and Steve flinches. He forgot there was a party going on. Natasha should be out there mingling, networking like she always does. Someone has no doubt been looking for her. Clint, probably, or Sam—Sam is probably looking for him too. They should go back out there.
“How did you and Bucky celebrate?” Natasha asks, somehow oblivious to the party growing rowdier by the second. “What did you do?”
“Like I said, we didn’t do anything special… There wasn’t anything to do but stay quiet and try to not get shot,” he is lying. God, he is lying to Natasha. He can’t tell her about it. He can’t even think about it.
His eyes drift to the cedar tree and he sucks in a breath. He can remember the crunch of snow beneath his back and the hot breath against his neck.
“God, Darlin’, look at you.”
“Steve?”
He sucks in a breath, “Yeah?”
“Where’d you go?” Natasha asks, “You looked like you were a world away.”
“Sorry, I was just… thinking,” he shakes his head and smiles at her.
“Tell me about it,” she keeps her voice low, “tell me about the Christmas with Bucky.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lies again. Natasha pinches his bicep and he yelps before smacking her hand away, “What are you doing?”
“I can’t promise you that I won’t do worse if you keep lying to my face. I had my nails done for this party,” she holds up her right hand and her long-painted nails shine in the dim light. “Are you going to take or do you want to find out how sharp I had them done?”
Steve laughs despite himself, “How Clint fell in love with you, I’ll never know.”
Natasha grins, “So?”
His jaw tightens and he looks to the tree one more time, “Bucky and I were all each other had. My Ma was dead, and Bucky hadn’t spoken to his family in years. It was just us. It was always just us a-and Christmas in the trenches was no different. Buck, he nabbed a mickey of whiskey and we drank it around the fire. We were in this forest of cedar trees, you-you could really smell it. It was a nice change from the dirt, and the mud, and the blood.” He remembers breathing in the sweet air of the forest and feeling tension drain from his body. “I remember it was so cold, you couldn’t take your hands out of your gloves for more than a few minutes because they would freeze otherwise. A-And the fire wasn’t helping either, to stop the cold I mean. It was that cold. Bucky,” Steve chuckles, “he kept saying, ‘Jesus Steve, I’m going to freeze my balls off here’ and he’d hold the whiskey bottle a bit tighter like it was going to warm him up.”
“Why were you up if it was so cold?” Natasha asks.
Steve purses his lips, “I don’t even know. I just… wanted to be awake.” He wanted to stay up and drink like they were dumb kids again. Only now, he was a few feet taller and wasn’t a bundle of shaking bones. He looks back to the twinkling tree beside him and sighs, “I wanted to be with Bucky.”
Sparks flew in the air as Bucky poked at the small fire with a stick, “Fuck, it’s cold. I’m going to freeze my—”
“Balls off, I know,” Steve laughs as he takes a swig from the cheap whiskey, “How many balls do you have left now? They must’ve fallen off about ten times now.”
Bucky shoots him a smirk, “Wouldn’t you like to know? Thinking about my balls, Stevie?”
“Fuck off,” Steve takes another swig of whiskey for good measure before he hands it back to the prick sitting next to him.
Bucky takes it and gulps down a mouthful, “That’s some good shit,” he smacks his lips. “Well, it’s not good, but it’s better than nothing.”
“Mhm,” Steve looks off in the distance towards the forest. He can hear the indistinct chatter of the others just a few yards away. He and Bucky had made their away from camp under the guise of keeping watch. They didn’t need to do that, there were others assigned to that, but Steve didn’t correct Bucky when the brunet told Dum Dum of their plans.
“What are you thinking about?” Bucky asks softly.
“Why did you tell Dum Dum we were keeping watch?” he meets Bucky’s eyes and he sees Bucky blush—though it might be the blood rushing to his cheeks in the frigid air.
Bucky frowns and shrugs, “Why not?”
“I don’t know,” he folds his arms across his chest. “Just wondering.”
Bucky sighs heavily, “What if I wanted to spend some time alone with you without the others sticking their noses in?”
“Christ, Buck, I was just wondering,” Steve huffs.
Bucky drinks again. “Is it a crime that I wanted to spend time with m-my—” he clears his throat, “Steve. My Steve.”
“Your Steve?” he smiles, “I’m your Steve?”
“Shut the fuck up,” Bucky’s cheeks are redder than the German sky in the morning. “You’re an asshole, you know that?” Bucky stands up and Steve is quick to catch him. Bucky is swaying slightly from the alcohol coursing through his veins. Steve grabs onto Bucky’s forearms, gripping onto him through the thick coat he’s wearing steadying him. Bucky is staring at him, his mouth is open slightly, creating a cloud of mist with each breath. “Steve?”
“I want to spend time with you, too,” Steve whispers.
Bucky nods and then lifts up the mickey of whiskey. It’s nearly empty. “Do you want the last little bit?” Steve takes the bottle from him without a word and downs the contents of the bottle. It burns as it slides down his throat and he coughs a little by the end of it. “Easy there, Darlin’, don’t hurt yourself,” Bucky places his hands on Steve’s hips. “Can’t have you choking to death on some shitty whiskey.”
“Since when am I your Darlin’?” Steve wonders and that only makes Bucky blush yet another shade darker.
“Since always,” Bucky mumbles. “Always been my Darlin’. Since you were this tiny little spitfire trying to fight everyone in the streets. Now you’re this big hero with a shield that can’t break, and you’re still my Darlin’.”
Steve gulps, “Buck…”
“Is that okay, Steve?’ Bucky wets his lips and Steve subconsciously follows the movement. “Is this okay?”
“Y-Yeah, Buck,” Steve’s eyes flit back up to Bucky’s and finds them darker than he’s ever seen, “it’s okay.”
The fire is slowly dying when Bucky’s lips find his. He tastes whiskey and the baked beans they shared for dinner. His lips are cold and yet, warm at the same time. Bucky moans and presses himself against Steve. He pulls away, “God, Buck, you’re driving me crazy.”
The shorter man smirks devilishly, “Yeah?”
Steve watches him for a moment, “Remind me to never compliment you again. Your head is big enough as it is.”
Bucky throws his head back and laughs, “You are such a punk.”
A gunshot rings through the forest and the next thing Steve knows, he’s on his back in the snow with Bucky over top of him. The only noise they hear is the sound of their own heavy breathing and the pounding of both of their hearts.
“You good?” Bucky keeps his voice barely above a whisper. Steve blinks up at him, Bucky’s demeanor has changed. He’s no longer Bucky, he’s Sergeant Barnes. “Steve, are you good?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Steve finally answers.
Bucky sits up, unintentionally straddling Steve’s lap and he shouts, “Who fired?”
“Sorry!” a voice shouts back. It’s Dum Dum, “Thought it was unloaded!”
“Jesus, Dum Dum,” Bucky places the palm of his hands over Steve’s pecs and rolls his hips. Steve chokes on a moan and Bucky smirks from above him. “Was anyone hurt?”
“No,” the man laughs, “my pride, however. Have a good night, Barnes.”
“You, too,” he rolls his hips again and this time Steve can’t hold back his moan.
“Rogers there with you?” Dum Dum asks, and Steve hears the crunching of snow.
“Yeah, he’s here,” Bucky looks back down at Steve, “Steve?”
“I’m here,” Steve pants, “Good night, Dum Dum.”
Steve thinks he hears Dum Dum laughing, “Good night, Captain.”
The footsteps fade and Steve smacks Bucky’s stomach, “What is wrong with you?”
“What?” Bucky hovers over him now, “You seem to like it,” and he does that again.
Steve grits his teeth, “Bucky.”
“God, Darlin’, look at you,” Bucky mouths at his neck, “beautiful. The best Christmas present I’ve been given. Always so nicely wrapped for me,” Bucky pulled down the zipper of Steve’s coat. “God, Stevie, I’ve wanted you for so long.”
“Y-Yeah?”
“Yeah. Since that summer it got real hot and you practically lived in your underpants. Thought I was going to pounce on you the first time I saw those legs,” Bucky bites at Steve’s exposed collarbone. “Every Christmas I’ve tried to gain the courage to say something to you—tell you how I feel but I could never get it out.”
Steve threaded his fingers through Bucky’s hair, “Why now?”
“We’re in a war, Darlin’, I could die tomorrow. Don’t want to die with you not knowing,”
The air shifts and Steve pulls on Bucky’s hair until they’re looking in each other’s eyes, “You aren’t going to die, Bucky.”
“You can’t know that,” Bucky says. “But it doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you know now.”
“Know what?”
Bucky rolls his eyes, “That I love you, Stevie.”
He grins, “I love you too, Buck.”
“Yeah?”
“Of course.”
Bucky pets the side of his face, “Merry Christmas, Darlin’.”
“Merry Christmas, Buck.”
“And then we went back to camp. Dum Dum had this smirk on his face like he knew what we were getting up to. A month or so later, Bucky fell from the train and I thought he was dead,” Steve finishes with a sigh.
Natasha hums, “So why refuse to celebrate this year? When you know he’s alive and out there?”
Steve toys with the label on his empty beer bottle, “Because I’d already accepted that he was gone and we’d never have another Christmas together again. Now, I-I keep thinking that he’ll come back and everything will be—will be back to normal.”
“Steve…”
“I know that he’s not Bucky anymore.”
“Okay.”
The door swings open and Tony comes sauntering in, “What are you two doing in here? The party is out here, if you weren’t aware.”
“Leave us alone, Tony,” Natasha glares at the drunken man.
Tony stares at them and then says, “Are you two having a secret tryst, because while I would be endlessly entertained by that, I can’t have Clint getting all moody and disappearing on us. It’d be like when Pepper got mad that I was spending more time with Bruce than her,” Steve and Natasha stare at the multi-millionaire before he clears his throat. “Are you two together?”
“Of course not,” Steve says while Natasha simultaneously says, “Yes.”
Tony nods before he calls for Clint.
Now there are four people in Pepper’s office, and none of them are Pepper.
“Widow’s cheating on you,” Tony announces to Clint.
Clint frowns and says, “I didn’t know we were dating…”
Tony’s mouth falls open, “But you two are—”
“Captain Rogers, there is a delivery here for you,” JARVIS interrupts whatever Tony was about to say.
“What is it?” Steve asks.
“I do not know. The man who delivered it did not say,” JARVIS says.
“What man?” Steve questions, “Show me.”
“Just a moment,” JARVIS says and one of the tablets on Pepper’s desk lights up. Steve goes to it and sees a picture of a hooded man. He feels Tony peering over his shoulder and he shoots a look to Natasha.
“Come on, Tony, I’ll make you a drink,” she drags both him and Clint – who was still confused as to why he was there in the first place, leaving Steve alone in the office.
“Do you know this man, Captain Rogers?” JARVIS asks him.
Steve stares down at the screen. It’s too hard to tell who it is but his heart is pounding. “No, I don’t.”
JARVIS then asks, “Shall I have the package removed, then?”
“No. I’ll come see what it is. Thanks JARVIS.”
“It is my pleasure.”
Ten minutes later, after weaving his way through the crowded party and keeping his greetings short, he stands in the foyer of his apartment in Stark Tower. The package sits in the center of his welcome mat, brought up by the concierge in the lobby. It’s not that big. Maybe about six inches in length and four inches in width.
Carefully, Steve picks it up and looks at it. The tape holding it closed seems like it was placed on haphazardly and the cardboard looks like was held out in the rain.
He rips it open.
Inside is a whiskey bottle.
It’s empty.
“JARVIS?” he calls out.
“Yes, Captain Rogers?”
“What did the man say when he delivered it?” Steve pulls the bottle out of the box while he asks.
“I have recorded audio; would you like to hear it?”
“Please.”
There’s a crackling over head before Steve hears the voice of the concierge, “Hello, Sir, how can I help you?” There is a pause. “Who is this for, Sir?” Another pause. “This is for Captain Rogers? Okay… Who should I tell him it’s from?” Yet another pause. “Sir? Uh, is there any message you want me to pause onto Captain Rogers?”
Another voice cuts in, it belongs to a man, “Tell him Merry Christmas.”
Steve’s hand shakes around the empty whiskey bottle.
“Captain Rogers, are you all right? Your heart rate has increased. Shall I tell Mr. Stark?”
“No!” Steve says a bit too loud, “No. Don’t tell Tony. Please.”
JARVIS sounds hesitant, “Alright, Sir. If you have any other questions, please do not hesitate to ask.”
Steve says nothing else and his knees buckle. He stumbles until he sits on the chair beside front door and the shoe rack. He stares down at the whiskey bottle.
…
“Merry Christmas, Buck.”
day 1 | day 2 | day 3 | day 4 | day 5 | day 6 | day 7 | day 8 | day 9 | day 10 | day 11 | day 12
> summary: in recent memory, every christmas merlin has spent at arthur’s side as been festivities and joy. this year is different. in fact, it’s rather depressing. merlin volunteers himself to bring the happiness back into christmas--and arthur. (takes place prior to la douleur exquise in kairos ‘verse)
> ship: merthur
> words: 4224
> song: have yourself a merry little christmas by frank sinatra
The snow fell softly against his shoulders as he sat on the steps of the citadel. The cobblestoned courtyard was covered in a fresh layer of snow and the city was eerily quiet. Most of the citizens were bundled up beside their fireplaces struggling to stay warm in the sudden bout of cold weather they’d been receiving. Though, in Merlin’s memory, every winter was like this in Camelot but with each passing year people complained no matter what.
He was the only one outside, he’d been sitting on the steps for so long that if he stood there would be no snow in his place. He’d escaped from the confines of the citadel about an hour ago, after Arthur went to have dinner with his father, and Gwaine tried to twist his arm into joining him at the tavern. He’d declined politely saying, “I’m not really in the mood tonight,” and Gwaine replied, “That’s the best time to go, my friend.”
He folded his arms across his chest, trying to salvage what heat he had left in his cloak. With no one around, he whispered out a quiet spell to warm the chill settling down in his bones. If someone were to ask him why he was outside if he was so cold, what would he even say? That he was trying to escape from the chaotic hell of the citadel? That he wanted to get away from his responsibilities, if only for an hour?
Christmas was a hectic time for him, especially this year. Uther was unable to host the Christmas festivities that generally went on, so Arthur was in charge – meaning Merlin was in charge. He had feasts to plan, speeches to write and robes to clean. He was so tired—he could be using this time to catch up on sleep, but instead he’s brooding on the steps of the castle.
“Merlin?” he heard from the doors behind him.
He sighed, his breath leaving a cloud in front of him, “Yes?”
“Arthur is looking for you,” Lancelot said as he joined Merlin on the steps. The snow crunched beneath his boots. “Why are you out here?”
“It’s quiet,” Merlin answered and Lancelot nodded slowly. “Why is Arthur looking for me? He’s supposed to be with Uther.”
“I don’t know,” Lancelot replied, “he wasn’t with the king when I saw him. He was in the kitchens.”
“What?” Merlin’s back straightened slightly, “What was he doing there?”
“Once again, I don’t know,” Lancelot held out his hand and helped Merlin stand up. The knight brushed off the snow piling on Merlin’s shoulders, “Come on,” and he started back up the stairs.
“Where are we going?” Merlin followed him despite himself.
“You have so many questions tonight, Merlin,” Lancelot chuckled and looked back at him. There was a strange glint in his eyes and it made Merlin even more confused. Lancelot knew something that Merlin did not. “We’re going inside and standing by a fire place, you are frozen and if Arthur hears that you were sitting out in the freezing cold he will have my head.”
That was true. Arthur was very adamant that Merlin was to never be outside in the cold – not after what happened in the summer. He made sure to give Merlin an extra blanket if they were outside for the night and that he wore extra clothes. And if Arthur wasn’t around to check, the other knights made sure they gave Merlin their cloaks if he even showed any signs of shivering. They were all very protective of him.
Lancelot led him up the stairs towards the royal chambers, which puzzled Merlin. Why were they here? If they were going to stand by a fire, he thought it would be in the knights’ quarters or in Lancelot’s chambers.
“Are you ready for Christmas?” Lancelot asked as they walked down the long corridor.
“I don’t even want to think about it,” Merlin mumbled, “there is still so much to do.”
“Well, maybe tonight you can relax a bit,” Lancelot said with the same glint in his eyes.
Merlin stopped, “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
The knight smirked, “What do you mean?”
“Where is Arthur?”
“I told you, I don’t know—” Lancelot was cut off by Merlin smacking his arm. Lancelot laughed, “I’m being honest, I don’t—”
“Do not lie to me, Lancelot,” Merlin glared. “Where is he?”
For a moment, there was a silent battle between them. Lancelot was not backing down but Merlin lit up his eyes for a moment – a minor spell that only flickered a torch near them – but Lancelot caught the movement. The knight groaned, “You can’t tell him I told you.”
“What is it?”
“When you go into his chambers, he’s… Uh,” Lancelot rubbed the back of his head, “he’s got a dinner ready for you.”
Merlin’s heart beat hard against his chest, “Excuse me?”
Lancelot smiled softly, “Go see for yourself. He really cares about you, Merlin. He went all out for you.”
Lancelot was the only one that knew about his and Arthur’s… situation. Merlin knew they could trust him, Arthur trusted no one – other than Merlin – more than Lancelot and Merlin had the same sentiments, after all Lancelot hadn’t told a soul about his magic.
Merlin’s eyes flickered to Arthur’s chamber doors only a few feet away, “Why?”
“Do you even have to ask that, Merlin?” Lancelot asked him, “Listen, just go in there. He may be an ass sometimes, but he can always see when you’re overworked – which you are. No one is going to come looking for you all night. I made sure of that.”
The sorcerer wet his lips, “You didn’t have to do this.”
“After the year we all had? You two deserve to relax with one another. Now stop talking to me, go see your prince.”
At Lancelot’s words, Merlin’s stomach flipped. His prince. Arthur was his prince. His future king. There was no one else on this earth he’d rather spend his evening with. He thanked Lancelot, who backed away slowly and nodded for Merlin to go in.
Slowly, he pushed on the two doors and he immediately felt a change. Rather than the chill that had found a home in the halls of the citadel, it was so warm that Merlin felt he could fall asleep by just standing there. Arthur was across the room by the fireplace, he looked the same as he did when Merlin last saw him when he was going to Uther’s room; except for the soft grin playing on his lips.
“Good evening,” Arthur said quietly. He was nervous, Merlin could tell. If it weren’t for his knowledge of the night to come, Merlin would have been concerned. He and Arthur had been together since the summer. They’d spent many a night together and Arthur had never been nervous.
“Hi,” Merlin smiled, he shut the doors behind him and latching them shut. Before he could turn back around, Arthur was behind him. Arthur slid his arms around Merlin’s waist and pulled him against him, “You’re friendly tonight.”
“I missed you,” Arthur whispered into his shoulder.
“You saw me a few hours ago,” Merlin rested in his arms, his eyes fluttered shut.
“That was different,” Arthur moved so he could kiss Merlin’s neck gently, “we’ve been so busy… I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
They stood there for a few minutes, Arthur kissing his neck and Merlin letting it happen. Arthur wasn’t doing it to start anything, he would be doing it differently if he was. The prince was trying to ground himself, Merlin thought, to bring him back to this world that was just the two of them.
“I’ve brought you dinner,” Arthur pulled away slightly, “have you eaten?”
“No. I haven’t had the time,” Merlin regretted his words when Arthur winced.
“I am sorry,” Arthur said, Merlin turned and saw pain on Arthur’s face. “I know this year has been busier than usual. With my father—”
“You don’t need to apologise, Arthur, it isn’t your fault. You know that.” Merlin cupped Arthur’s cheek and rubbed his thumb along his cheekbone. He changed the subject, “What did you bring for dinner?”
Arthur motioned to the table not too far from where they stood. The dinner, though it was the size of feast, consisted of all sorts of holiday foods. From cakes, to puddings, to roast chickens and geese, and more bread than Merlin had ever seen at the annual Christmas feast. Arthur sat them down so they were seated next to each other, he preferred it that way over seating at different sides of the table. He once said it made it feel like a dinner he was at against his will.
While they ate, Merlin noticed Arthur was still nervous. His hands fumbled with the cuff of his sleeve and they were shaking slightly, to the point he spilt some wine on the table as he poured Merlin a cup. “Are you okay?” Merlin asked him at one point.
Arthur’s eyes shot up to his, his mask of faux confidence faltered and Merlin saw the raw nervousness going on in the prince’s head, “I’m fine,” he lied. He almost got after Arthur for not talking to him. One of the main things in their relationship was to talk to each other when something was wrong. The night they first kissed, Merlin had gotten after Arthur for keeping things bottled up.
He didn’t though. Not tonight. If Arthur was nervous, there was something on his mind and he trusted Arthur. He would tell him if he wanted to, if not, Merlin would pry it out of him later.
The prince cleared his throat, “So, h-how did you celebrate Christmas with your mother? I don’t think I have ever asked.”
Merlin swallowed the bite of chicken he had been chewing, “We didn’t do much. We sat together near the fire trying to stay warm. The winters are even more unforgiving in Ealdor than they are here,” Arthur raised an eyebrow as if he didn’t believe him, “it’s true! I thought my toes would fall off most winters. It was awful…” he sighed, “but I enjoyed Christmas. Mum would knit me something usually, unless we had some gold left over from something, then she’d ask someone heading into town to get me something like a trinket.” He shrugged and leaned back in his chair, “Sometimes Will would join us. His father wasn’t the greatest, so mum let him stay over. It was nice.”
Arthur placed his arm on the back of Merlin’s chair, his fingers brushed by Merlin’s shoulder, “When I was young,” Arthur began, “we would have feasts and banquets, much like now. Except, at night when the noblemen and ladies would continue on drinking, I would have to go to bed. I couldn’t sleep though,” he said thoughtfully, “I wanted to be with everyone else. I didn’t think it was fair.”
He laughed, “Now you can’t wait to get out of there.”
“Yes,” Arthur smiled, “but back then, I wanted to be there celebrating with the adults. I-I felt so left out, I started to cry… Just when I thought the tears would never stop, my chamber doors opened and it was my father. He’d snuck out of the feast to see me. He set up a fur blanket near the fireplace and we laid there together.”
Merlin looked to the prince, “What did you talk about?”
“Anything really. I liked it, because we weren’t the king and the prince of Camelot. We were just a son and a father celebrating Christmas together,” Arthur let out a breath, “we stopped doing that when I got a bit older. What with having more responsibilities and taking part in the festivities, we never had the time.”
The tension changed in the room, Merlin could see sadness cloud in Arthur’s eyes. He reached up, cupping Arthur’s cheek, “He’ll get better. It just takes time.”
“I know,” Arthur sighed, he looked softly into Merlin’s eyes, “I love you.”
He smiled, “I love you too,” slowly Arthur leaned in and they kissed gently.
Merlin realised as their lips met one another that it had been some time since they last kissed without worrying about someone coming in or being interrupted. Even at night when it was just the two of them, there was still a fear neither would voice that someone would barge into Arthur’s chambers and find them. It would naïve of them to not feel that fear right now, Lancelot could only do so much if something happened.
He pulled away and rested his forehead against Arthur’s, “Thank you for dinner,” he whispered. Arthur breathed in anxiously and Merlin pulled back even more, “Arthur?”
“T-There’s more,” Arthur swallowed, “I have more for you,” he got up and crossed the room to his bedside table. Merlin’s eyes followed him as he moved about the room. He watched as Arthur pulled a box from under the bed, and he briefly wondered how he hadn’t noticed it when he was cleaning this morning. Arthur came back to him holding the box, it was made of wood and had a piece of twined tied on top with a bow. Arthur shoved it towards him, “This if for you.”
Merlin eyed it carefully, “This is for me?”
“Yeah. I had it made a few weeks ago, s-so that if you heard about it or something, you’d forget about it by the time Christmas came along,” Arthur shifted on his feet nervously.
Slowly, Merlin took the box from Arthur and laid it down on the table, “What is it?” he asked.
“Open it,” Arthur had the hint of a smile going but his nervousness masked it.
Merlin pulled on the twine and it slipped open. He lifted the lid of the box and inside laid a piece of crimson red fabric. Gently, he picked up the fabric and pulled it out. It was a neckerchief, a Pendragon red neckerchief with the dragon crest stitched in golden thread. He let out a laugh, “It’s a neckerchief?”
Arthur blushed, “Yes. I thought you could use a new one and I wanted it to have a part of me on it.” He stared down at the neckerchief in his hands. He had never received something so meaningful, and with so much emotion behind it. “I don’t know if you’ll be able to wear it all the time, without people wondering why you’re wearing the Pendragon crest…” Arthur trailed off.
He quickly pulled off the blue one he was wearing and stood up, holding out the new neckerchief for Arthur to take. Arthur was puzzled before he caught on and slid it around Merlin’s neck. Merlin held his breath as he watched Arthur focus on tying the knot. His stunning blue eyes were furrowed in concentration. Suddenly, they shifted so they were looking directly into Merlin’s eyes and the prince spoke, “You’re perfect.”
Merlin placed his hands on Arthur’s chest, he could feel the warmth of his skin through the fabric, “Thank you, Arthur.”
“You’re welcome,” Arthur pecked him on the lips and he placed his hands on Merlin’s hips, “I wish there was a way for it to be like this. For you to be at my side, as my equal, rather than hidden away as my manservant. I want people to know that it is you that I love.”
“One day,” Merlin murmured. “One day we can stop… having Lancelot guard the door and we can be in here without worrying.”
“I want that,” Arthur shifted closer, “but I suppose, this is fine for now.” He fingered the neckerchief, “There’s more. I did more for you.”
“Why?” Merlin found himself asking, “Why did you do all of this for me?”
Arthur chuckled, “This is the bare minimum, you know? I could have done so much more but I don’t like you enough for grand gestures.”
“You’re an ass.”
Arthur only smirked and pulled him away from the table with their still steaming food. Merlin let himself be dragged until they reached Arthur’s bedside. “Get into bed,” Arthur said in a gentle voice. “I’ll be right back.”
As Merlin toes off his boots and lifts his shirt over his head – leaving the neckerchief on – he sees Arthur go to his chamber doors and opens it, careful to keep them closed just enough. He can hear Arthur and Lancelot whispering to one another, at one point Lancelot laughed, and Arthur glanced back in the room with a blush rising on his cheeks. He watched as Arthur prepared to the shut the door but a call from outside stopped him in his tracks.
“MERLIIIIN!” Gwaine bellowed from down the hall. “I know you’re in there, Merls, come on out let’s go out in the snow!”
“Gwaine, you’re piss drunk, go to sleep,” Lancelot’s voice rose in warning.
“Mmm, nope,” Gwaine was at the door now because he shouted, “Evening, Sire, how are you? Where’s Merlin?”
“He’s not here,” Arthur was tense, “I don’t know where he is. If you find him, let me know, he has work to do.”
“It’s almost bloody Christmas, give him a break,” Gwaine slurred, “he’s a good boy and you treat him like shit sometimes. It’s not right. He deserves better than your bullshit everyday. He needs someone that isn’t goin’ to get mad at him for using the wrong polish for his boots.”
“Gwaine…” Lancelot sighed.
“J-Just let him go, Arthur,” Merlin laid down on the bed and let his eyes fall shut. “Let him go and let someone who actually appreciates him have him. C-Come on, Arthur, he’s too good for you—”
“Be quiet,” Arthur’s voice was stern and at the sound of it Merlin reopened his eyes. “I am going to excuse everything you have just said on the account of you being drunk. However, if I ever hear you say anything like that again I will have you punished.”
“Punished? For what? Saying that you’re a total fucking asshole to Merlin—”
“Get some sleep, Gwaine,” Arthur began to shut the door, “goodnight.” The door shut and Arthur slammed his head against the oak, before he glanced over his shoulder at Merlin. “Gwaine is wondering where you are.”
“I heard,” Merlin sat up.
The prince barred the door shut, what with Gwaine still chirping about in the hallway, before he took off his shirt and joined Merlin across the room in bed. He crawled into Merlin’s lap and applied enough pressure until Merlin was laying down. “I am sorry about that,” Arthur hovered over him.
“It’s just Gwaine,” Merlin shrugged.
Arthur leaned down and began kissing softly at Merlin’s neck, “He’s a nuisance.”
“It’s just Gwaine,” he repeated and he felt Arthur’s groan against where he was kissing at his collarbone. “What?”
“He ruined the night,” Arthur sighed in defeat and fell beside Merlin on the bed. “I didn’t expect to have Gwaine pissed and yelling at me when I could have been in here with you.”
“Arthur, he didn’t ruin anything,” he quickly rolled onto his side and forced Arthur to look at him. “This night has been perfect. Don’t let Gwaine get to you. He’s an ass. A drunk ass. Whereas you, are sweet and I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Arthur said.
He didn’t lay down just yet, and instead watched Arthur thoughtfully. There was something hidden beneath those eyes. There was always something beneath them. He loved them. He loved Arthur. “I love you,” he repeated and Arthur said nothing this time. The blond raised his head off of his pillow and brushed his lips against Merlin’s. As Arthur’s tongue swept along his bottom lip, he spoke, “He’s wrong, you know?”
“What?”
“Gwaine. He’s wrong. You are good to me,” Merlin said.
“Stop talking about Gwaine,” Arthur groaned. “He isn’t important.”
“You are so good to me. You organised this dinner, you had this neckerchief made… Yes, you are a bit of a prat when it’s not just the two of us but you do that because you are good to me.” He pet Arthur’s hair, “Do you remember what you did when I was cursed?”’
“Tell me.”
He wet his lips, “You were so concerned about me but you didn’t say a word. You didn’t say anything until you took me hunting and you started telling me about how I was your best friend and how you would never forgive yourself if I’d died—”
“It’s true,” Arthur interjected.
“Anyway, when it got really bad and I-I was dying… You saved me,” he sighed wistfully. “You saved me and then you wouldn’t leave me alone for weeks because you are good. You are so fucking good, Arthur—Arthur!”
Arthur flipped them over suddenly, pinning Merlin beneath him and had his lips only a millimeter away from Merlin’s, “You are going to be the death of me.”
“That would be unfortunate—killing you on Christmas. I am sure I would receive a letter thanking me from Morgana,” he puckered his lips just to get a feel of Arthur’s against his.
“Mm, never talk about Morgana while we’re in bed,” Arthur nuzzled his nose, but still did not kiss him. “Or anyone for that matter, other than me.”
Merlin let out a laugh, “Not even Gaius? Talking about his potions doesn’t get you in the mood?”
“Merlin,” it sounded as if Arthur growled, “please be quiet.”
A sigh left Merlin’s lips, “You said earlier there was something more. What is it?”
The prince groaned again, “It was nothing.”
“Arthur.”
“It was not this,” Arthur finally kissed him, leaving no argument for what this was. They laid in bed for a long time. Kissing, grabbing at each other and stifling moans against each other’s mouths, until Arthur pulled away. His lips were red and swollen, shining slightly. “I-I wanted to lay in bed with you. Not doing anything, just laying under the covers talking. It is stupid, I realise, when we could be doing this instead.”
“No, it isn’t stupid,” Merlin quickly shoved Arthur off of him and climbed under the blankets. “Come on then,” Merlin said when Arthur sat there doing nothing. A moment later, Arthur and he were both under the blankets. Merlin had his head resting on Arthur’s chest, listening to his echoing heartbeat. Arthur had his hand slowly running up and down Merlin’s back. It was comforting, that they could go from that to doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company.
“What did you get me for Christmas?” Arthur asked into the quiet room.
Merlin pursed his lips, “Isn’t my presence enough?”
He heard Arthur’s laugh rumble in his chest, “You are insufferable.”
“That’s a big word, you feeling sick?” Merlin quipped and Arthur barked out a laugh. “Want me to run and get Gaius? I think you’ve had a spell cast on you.”
“Stop talking about Gaius.”
Merlin kissed his chest, “I’ll stop talking about Gaius if you promise me that you won’t let Gwaine bother you.”
“Gwaine doesn’t bother me.”
“Arthur.”
“…I promise.”
“Good boy.”
“Never call me that again.”
Merlin had no idea how much time passed as they laid there together. For a while, he thought Arthur had fallen asleep what with his breathing slowing. He settled himself down to fall asleep but the rap of Arthur’s fingers against his spine brought him back to the room.
“Merry Christmas, Merlin,” Arthur mumbled into the room.
Merlin planted a final kiss onto Arthur’s chest, “Merry Christmas. I love you.”
“Love you, too,” Arthur shifted so he was facing Merlin and tucked Merlin under his chin. His strong arms wrapped around Merlin’s smaller frame, “more than anything.”
When Merlin woke, he was shivering to the bone. He shifted and heard snow crunch beneath his body. He opened his eyes and saw a head of black hair in front of him. It was unruly and it hid a face paler than his own. On top of them both was a thin wool blanket, not nearly thick enough to keep them warm from the elements.
He didn’t dare sit up, he didn’t want to wake her. She deserved to rest.
He cursed himself for dreaming of that night.
It was about that time of the year. He knew that was why his subconscious conjured up that memory. He clenched his fists at his sides and anger flared beneath his skin. After nine months one would think he’d have gotten over… him.
As if its own accord, his hand reached up and grabbed at the red neckerchief he wore. He had tied it in such a way that it hid the golden dragon stitched into the fabric. He didn’t wear it because of him. He wore it because it was cold. He wore it because it was the neckerchief the night he was—it didn’t matter anymore. He wasn’t in Camelot anymore and he had more important things to deal with.
Morgana shifted beside him and her eyes flickered open, “It’s cold,” she said.
“It’s Christmas,” he replied.
She sat up, and he did the same.
“Merry Christmas, then,” she grabbed his hand and held it tight. Her hands were as cold as his.
“…Merry Christmas.”
day 1 | day 2 | day 3 | day 4 | day 5 | day 6 | day 7 | day 8 | day 9 | day 10 | day 11 | day 12
Unforfunately I cannot continue the 12 days of Shipmas as planned. I don’t feel comfortable writing fictionalized versions of SHINee’s lives with what has happened. It isn’t right. I’m sorry for disappointing anyone. There is are stories due to post today and tomorrow, but after that, they will stop.
> summary: victoria loves christmas. krystal... does not.
> ship: krytoria
> words: 892
> song: the most wonderful time of the year by pentatonix
People watching was one of Hyeri’s favourite things to do. She loved coming up with life stories for complete strangers and trying to figure out their goals for the future. Some of her friends found it creepy she likes to go into shopping centres and just sit with no desire to buy anything. One of them even called her a pervert.
She didn’t care. It was her hobby and it was always an adventure.
Take now for example, she was sitting on a bench in the midst of the craziest Christmas shopping day she’d ever seen. There were at least two hundred people shuffling down the aisles of the mall, all window shopping, trying to find the perfect gift for their loved ones. She was feeling rather overwhelmed by how many people there were. It was proving hard to people watch when an entire sea of people was passing Hyeri by every moment she sat there on the bench.
The young woman was about to give up and head home, when a pair of girls sat next to her on the bench. Hyeri froze, if she got up now the pair might think she’s leaving because they sat down beside her. She did not want that to happen. So she remained seated, and found herself increasingly interested in the conversation these girls were having.
“Okay, so we’ve got Amber’s gift and Luna’s. Now we just need to buy Sulli’s, and we need to buy each of the boys’ one,” said the taller one. There was a festive light in her eyes that wasn’t shared in the eyes of the girl sitting next to her. “If we get it all done by 5pm, we still have time to go home and wrap them all for the party tomorrow.”
“Mhm,” replied the other girl. “Wait. 5pm? You think we’re going to be here for three more hours? Vic, you said this would be a short shopping trip.”
“Three hours is short, Soojung,” replied Vic. From what Hyeri could sense, this Vic had far more Christmas spirit than Soojung, By the looks of it, Soojung was somewhat of an ice princess. Vic pulled a list from her expensive purse, “So for Sulli we need to buy a Dior handbag, and for the boys I was thinking that we buy Kibum a new Gucci sweater?”
“Geez, it is really crowded,” Soojung said, “Are you sure we’ll be able to get it all done?”
Vic pouted, “Soojung, please? Christmas shopping is the best part of Christmas. After today, you don’t need to come to the shopping centre with me.”
Soojung sighed heavily and said under her breath, “The best part of Christmas is when its over.”
Vic pouted even more, “You can go home if you want. I’ll finish shopping on my own.”
Hyeri wanted to scream out, “No Soojung! Christmas shop with Vic! Put your hatred for the holiday aside to make Vic happy!”
Soojung stood up and Hyeri clenched her fists at her side to stop herself from saying anything, “Do you want a hot chocolate?”
“W-What?” Vic blinked.
“Hot chocolate, do you want one?” Soojung repeated, her expression even more emotionless than when she and Vic first sat down.
“I s-suppose—” before Vic could finish her sentence, Soojung had turned on her heel and pushed her way into the crowd. “Hey! Jung Soojung!” but Soojung had already made her way well into the hundreds of people wandering the mall and was lost in the sea of heads. Vic sighed loudly and Hyeri saw her grip loosen slightly on the list in her hands. Hyeri really wanted to say something to keep Vic’s spirits up but she saw no point. It would only bring on an awkward encounter that she did not want to look back on and cringe.
So she and Vic sat. She people watched, trying not to think about Vic and Soojung, while Vic sat solemnly waiting for Soojung to return with their hot chocolates.
After what felt like ten minutes had passed, Hyeri thought that perhaps Soojung had actually left, leaving Vic alone on the bench to finish Christmas shopping on her own. Vic seemed to think this too, as she was repeatedly checking the time on her phone and huffing periodically.
Then, like Moses parting the Red Sea, came Soojung carrying two hot chocolates with a white plastic bag around one of her arms. She sat down next to Vic and handed her the hot chocolate, “I bought something,” she said as she did.
“What is it?” Vic asked while peering over at the bag.
Soojung placed her hot chocolate on the spot beside her and reached into the bag before pulling out a small white box. Very slowly, Soojung opened the box and inside was a diamond encrusted silver bracelet. “Merry Christmas, Vic.”
Vic let out a watery sigh, “Soojung… You didn’t.”
“I did,” Soojung smiled – Hyeri was surprised, she wasn’t sure Soojung was capable of that.
Out of nowhere, Vic smacked Soojung’s shoulder, “You tricked me! I’m so mad at you!”
Soojung laughed, “But do you like it?”
“Yes, of course, but I’m still mad at you!”
Soojung leaned over and pecked Vic on the lips, “Love you.”
Hyeri was glad she didn’t go home, because now she knew that the Christmas spirit was alive and well.
day 1 | day 2 | day 3 | day 4 | day 5 | day 6 | day 7 | day 8 | day 9 | day 10 | day 11 | day 12
> summary: the clock strikes twelve and the snow is coming down harder than ever. luna is stuck, but at least she’s with amber, her girlfriend--ahem, her friend. they’re friends. nothing more. that doesn’t stop luna from wishing though.
> ship: lunber
> words: 806
> song: let it snow by carly rae jepsen
“Wow, it’s coming down really hard out there,” Amber mused as she stood by the window sill. Luna was sat on the couch, her eyes fixed on Amber and her hand deep in a bag of pre-popped popcorn. Amber turned back to her, “I don’t think it’s safe for you to drive home. I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting you drive on those streets.”
Luna craned her neck to look out the window behind Amber. The snow was almost blizzard like, she could barely see the other high-rises from where she sat. “I’ve never seen it this bad before,” she noted and Amber nodded in agreement.
Luna relaxed slightly, comforted by the view of the snow and Amber leaning against the window. She wasn’t too upset that she was stuck in Amber’s apartment. If anything, it was a blessing in disguise. For weeks now she’d wanted an excuse to spend more time with Amber. It was so hard to come by these days. Their schedules were so hard to get into sync and Amber was always off with one of her friend’s visiting from the States. Luna just wanted to spend some time with her favourite person.
It doesn’t help that she’s also hopelessly in love with Amber.
Amber looked at her and said, “I have an idea. Let’s go out into it.”
“Into the snow?” Luna looked back to the window, “Really?”
“Yeah! There are no cars on the road because of how bad it is. We can have ourselves a little party out there,” Amber came up to her and pulled the bag of popcorn from her hands. “Come on, it’ll be fun. How often do you get to run around on the streets of Seoul without having to worry about getting hit by a car?”
Ten minutes later, the pair were running out the front doors of Amber’s apartment building and into the thick snow. Luna watched as Amber stuck her tongue out to catch snowflakes and she couldn’t help but admire the twinkle of joy in Amber’s eyes. It was breathtaking.
Amber caught her eye, “Do I have something on my face?”
“Just snow,” Luna lied, well, it wasn’t a lie there was snow on her face.
The other woman laughed, “Come on, let’s make snow angels.” She took Luna’s hand in her own and said, “You ready?”
“For what—” Luna felt herself lose balance and both her and Amber went falling backwards. Out of instinct, her body prepared to fall onto cement but instead they both landed softly onto the plush snow. “Amber!” she shouted, “what was that?”
“That’s how you make snow angels!” Amber said through her laughter, “Come on, let’s do this.”
The entire time the pair made their snow angels, all Luna could think of was the fact that Amber was still holding her hand tight—as if there was nothing in the world that could possibly get her to let go. It made Luna’s heart hammer rapidly in her chest. She was so distracted by Amber holding her hand, she hadn’t realised she stopped making her snow angel and Amber rose her head up to look at her, “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” she said smiling up at her group mate of eight years.
An emotion suddenly filled Amber’s eyes and her hand reached up to touch Luna’s face. Luna held her breath, afraid to disturb whatever was going through Amber’s mind.
Amber’s finger tips brushed her cheek and whispered, “You had an eyelash.”
Whatever emotion had taken over Amber didn’t go away. In fact, it intensified. Very slowly, Amber seemed to be coming closer towards her. Or, Luna was lifting her head up to reach Amber, she had no idea.
They met in the middle. In the sweetest kiss Luna had ever had. Amber’s glove covered hand cupped her cheek, rubbing along her jawline. They stayed like that for some time. Kissing in the streets of Seoul, with no one to take pictures or gawk at them. Just the two of them.
Amber was the first to pull away and it was with a quiet laugh, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”
Luna beamed up at her, “I probably do.”
They laid there together for a while before Amber spoke up, “Do you want to go inside? I can turn on the fireplace and we can sit on the couch. Maybe eat some more popcorn and watch the snow fall?”
“That sounds wonderful,” Luna grinned. When they stood up, Amber laughed once more, “What?”
“Our snow angels are so ugly,” Amber took Luna’s hand once more and led her back into the apartment building. Back to the warmth, and the comfort of being at Amber’s side. But this time, as something more than friends.
Yeah, Luna wasn’t upset at all about the snow.
day 1 | day 2 | day 3 | day 4 | day 5 | day 6 | day 7 | day 8 | day 9 | day 10 | day 11 | day 12
> summary: jiyong has never felt this lonely surrounded by his family. the holiday season just isn’t the same without him.
> ship: gtop
> words:
> song: mittens by carly rae jepsen
When Jiyong was young, there was nothing he loved more than spending the holidays with his family. He loved decorating the tree with his parents and he loved joking around with Dami.
As he grew up, he started spending his holidays with the members. He and Youngbae would decorate the tree, Seungri would sing Christmas carols too loud and Daesung would laugh the entire time. At night, they’d go to the closest convenience store and buy as many snacks as they could all afford and bring it back to the dorm. They always spent the entire night eating and enjoying each other’s presence.
Seunghyun never joined them. Jiyong can remember staring at his closed bedroom door wondering what he was doing in there. They would always try to get him to come out and eat with them, but he never would.
That is, until one year. It was late, the others had already gone to bed with their bellies full of junk food. Jiyong had stepped outside into the cold to have a cigarette. The air bit Jiyong’s cheeks and his fingers tingled. His own breath mingled with the smoke.
He heard the patio door open behind him and then his cigarette was snatched from his fingers, “What are you doing out here?” Seunghyun said while taking a drag from the stolen cigarette.
“Having a smoke?”
“It’s cold,” the older rapper said matter-of-factly, “you’re going to freeze.”
“So are you,” Jiyong retorted.
“Nah, I’m like a furnace. I don’t get cold.” Seunghyun said and Jiyong scoffed at him. He watched as Seunghyun finished off his cigarette and flick the bud into the snow collecting on the patio. Jiyong folded his arms across his chest, feeling the cold deep in his bones and Seunghyun noticed the movement. Without warning, Seunghyun pulled his arms apart and grabbed Jiyong’s hands. He held them in his grasp and blew softly on them, “You’re frozen,” Seunghyun’s voice was barely above a whisper, “come here,” Seunghyun engulfed Jiyong in a big hug. They were so close Jiyong could hear Seunghyun’s heart beating. “Merry Christmas, Jiyong.”
The next year, everything was about the same as it was the year before and the year before that. Except, when they returned from the convenience store there was a blue box sitting at Jiyong’s place setting. He opened the box slowly and found a pair of blue knit mittens with a note, “So you don’t freeze tonight.”
Now, here Jiyong was. Christmas 2017. He’s standing outside his parent’s house. They were all asleep waiting for the morning to come. The members were with their own families, miles away, there was nobody to raid the convenience store with. There was no one to sing Christmas Carols off-key. It made Jiyong feel rather lonely.
He took a drag from his cigarette and blew the smoke out into the snowy air. This was his third cigarette and his fingers ached from chill. He sighed and flicked the ash from his smoke before throwing it to the ground.
“That’s such a waste,” he heard as he turned back to go into the house. “I could have finished that off.” He looked over his shoulder and his mouth fell open. How in the hell was he here? He couldn’t be here. He was going to get in trouble and it was going to be Jiyong’s fault. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Y-You can’t be here,” Jiyong’s teeth clattered as he spoke, he hadn’t even realised he was shivering.
“Why not?” Seunghyun came towards him, wearing that dopey grin of his. “It’s a tradition that I steal your cigarette, I couldn’t not show up.”
“H-Hyung, you’re going to get in trouble.”
Seunghyun shook his head, “I got a few hours off for Christmas. It’s fine.”
“You should be spending it with your family,” Jiyong took a step back as Seunghyun came towards him.
“Hey,” Seunghyun advanced on him and grabbed his arms before he could move away, “I am.”
“Hyung—”
“Where are your mittens?” Seunghyun asked suddenly, his eyes fixed on Jiyong’s bare hands. “One of these days you’re going to get hypothermia and frost bite, and you’re going to wish you were wearing those mittens.”
Jiyong took a deep breath, “Why do I need them?”
“Because you’ll freeze—”
“Warm them up for me,” Jiyong said.
Seunghyun hesitated for a moment, he obviously did not expect Jiyong to say that. A second passes and Jiyong swore he was going to pull away, but Seunghyun hugged him. His body warm and his heart beating just as Jiyong remembered. Jiyong slowly wrapped his arms around Seunghyun and held him close.
“Merry Christmas, Jiyong.”
Jiyong never wanted to let go.
day 1 | day 2 | day 3 | day 4 | day 5 | day 6 | day 7 | day 8 | day 9 | day 10 | day 11 | day 12
> summary: their lives are hectic, taehyung knows this, but christmas is supposed to be their time. he doesn’t want to share jungkook with the world. not on christmas.
> ship: taekook
> words: 899
> song: baby, please come home by michael buble
Don’t get him wrong, Taehyung loves his job and his fans. There is nothing on this earth that he loves more—in moderation. Sometimes he would like to be able to go to the movie theatre without having to worry about fans swarming him to get a picture. Sometimes he’d like to be able to go grocery shopping without a sasaeng documenting every item that he’s buying. And sometimes he’d like to be able to go on a date without having a scandal break out and threaten to ruin his group’s reputation.
He just wants a break sometimes. These feelings only worsen during the holiday season.
He’s laying in bed right now, pouting at his phone screen as he watches the time go by. In an hour, Christmas will have ended. An entire holiday that only comes once a year passes by and Taehyung isn’t afraid to say that he didn’t enjoy himself.
Sure, he spent time with the members and he had dinner with his family—which he enjoyed thoroughly thank you very much—but there was something missing.
Someone.
In standard idol fashion, some of the members had to work during Christmas. Not all of them this year, which surprised Taehyung, but enough to make a gaping whole in Taehyung’s heart.
It was Jimin and Jungkook. None of them knew why it was those two who were chosen to be on a special live Christmas episode of Weekly Idol, but their absence was greatly felt between the remaining members. For Taehyung, it was hard. Jimin was his best friend in the whole world, it felt as if his other half was missing the whole day.
As for Jungkook, things were a bit different. Recently, things had changed between them. They were closer, gentler with one another. Touches were soft and glances were warm. Taehyung didn’t dare think of the one word that would describe what he felt for Jungkook, but deep down he knew that he cared a lot more for Jungkook than he would if they were just friends.
And this is why he is upset. Christmas has all but passed and he hasn’t spent it with the one person he actually wants to spend it with.
He sighs. He rolls over onto his stomach and types out a text to Jungkook, I miss you :(
The reply comes minutes later, I miss you too.
I wish you were here, Taehyung sends to the younger man. This time the reply takes longer, and as each second passes, Taehyung’s mood turns even more sour. Why the fuck do idols need to work on Christmas? It makes no sense. The industry takes every day from them from when they are trainees to when they’re fully fledged idols. They never have a moment to breathe. They deserve to spend Christmas, or any holiday for that matter, with their friends and family.
Jungkook replies, Me too, he attaches a picture of himself and Jimin wearing Santa hats. Taehyung can see the background of the Weekly Idol set. He sighs. He doesn’t reply, even though he knows he should, and puts his phone down.
The snow is coming down hard outside. By the time the shoot ends, it’s going to take Jungkook a long time to get back to the dorm. It’ll be way into Boxing Day by then.
Last year, he and Jungkook spent Christmas in the dorm alone. The other members were with their families, and they had all offered to take them both in, but they had both declined. Choosing instead to spend it quietly together.
That was the night things changed.
Maybe that is why Taehyung is so bitter about working on Christmas. It was kind of their anniversary, although they have never had any discussion about what they were to each other. Just that they weren’t friends anymore, instead something more.
His phone vibrates. He lifts it up and reads the text from Jungkook, How was your Christmas?
Taehyung tries not to frown while he types, It was okay.
Just okay?
He takes a deep breath and writes, It would have been better with you here.
Come into the living room ;)
Taehyung is sceptical to say the least but he gets out of bed anyway. He opens his door and finds the living room to be completely dark, aside from the small Christmas tree lit beside the TV. He finds a white card sitting on the coffee table and picks it up.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for Christmas with you :( I really wanted to but I couldn’t say no without raising questions. I don’t want your Christmas to be lonely without me, so I put this together so that you’re not sad. Hoseok-hyung helped me put it together. Don’t worry, he’s not going to ask you about it. Anyway, merry Christmas Taehyung. You’re the best –Jungkook.
Without warning, the TV turns on and there is Jungkook, “Hyung!” shouts the Jungkook on the screen, “Merry Christmas! Since we’re not spending the holiday together, I wanted to tell you something to make up for it. It’s not much but here it goes. Kim Taehyung, will you be my boyfriend?” Jungkook smiles that stupid goofy smile of his and Taehyung feels his heart beat out of his chest.
He reaches for his phone and types out a reply.
Yes, you idiot, then, merry Christmas <3
day 1 | day 2 | day 3 | day 4 | day 5 | day 6 | day 7 | day 8 | day 9 | day 10 | day 11 | day 12
> summary: on the eve of christmas, jonghyun receives a decorative fairy from his uncle, little does he know that this ornament is no ordinary christmas decoration.
> ship: jongtae
>words: 950
> song: dance of the sugarplum fairy by tchaikovsky
“…hyun.”
“Mmm?”
“Jonghyun!”
“W-What?” Jonghyun blinked his eyes open to find his older sister hovering over him. From how dark the room was, he knew it was far too late for her to be up wandering around the house. “What time is it?”
She ignored him, “I heard a noise.”
“A noise?” he sat up, “What do you mean?”
“It came from the living room,” she pointed towards Jonghyun’s open door, “Can you go see what it was?”
He sighed, “I’m sure it was nothing, just go back to sleep.”
“Jonghyun, what if someone broke in and is stealing all of our gifts?” she asked, there was anxiety clear as day in her voice. “Please go see.”
Jonghyun climbed out of bed and Sodam tiptoed carefully behind him as he made his way down the hallway. The living room was illuminated by the still lit white Christmas tree and the snow falling heavily on the street. As far as he could see, there was nothing out of place. He turned to face Sodam but found she was nowhere in sight, “Noona?” she didn’t answer. “Sodam—”
Clunk!
Jonghyun turned back around, his heart positively leaping out of his chest, to find a box sitting in the center of the room. He smirked, “Noona, if this is you trying to scare me it won’t work.” He walked over to the box, it looked as if it had been opened haphazardly. Jonghyun peered inside and found that it was the present his uncle had given to him. Inside were souvenirs from his uncle’s many travels around the world. To Sodam, he’d gifted a traditional nutcracker and to Jonghyun, a decorative fairy to hang on the tree.
Sodam’s nutcracker was laying beside the box, its arm now a few inches away from its body. Jonghyun carefully picked up the wooden decoration and reattached the arm, all while wondering how this even happened. Who could have done this? Before Sodam woke him, he swore everyone was tucked away in bed sleeping soundly waiting for Christmas morning to arrive.
Meanwhile, Jonghyun’s fairy was nowhere in sight.
Thump!
Jonghyun jumped up into the air, the nutcracker still tight in his grasp. “Sodam,” his voice and his body trembled, “it’s Christmas, not Halloween, y-you don’t have to scare me.”
Suddenly, Jonghyun felt someone very gently tap him on the shoulder. He spun around, completely prepared to use Sodam’s nutcracker as a weapon to fight off any intruder—but instead, he felt every nerve inside of him freeze.
Standing before him was the most beautiful man he’d ever seen. He had skin as white as porcelain, soft pink hair that seemed to blow gently despite there being no wind, and he wore a bejewelled body suit. The man blinked at him, his hand still hovering where he had tapped Jonghyun on the shoulder.
“H-Hello,” Jonghyun said nervously. The man blinked once more before his eyes fixed on the nutcracker still clenched in Jonghyun’s hands. The man reached the nutcracker and Jonghyun immediately stepped back, “You can’t have this.” The man frowned and took a delicate step towards Jonghyun. So delicate, that it made Jonghyun’s look down to the man’s feet and instead of shoes or socks, the man wore pointe shoes. The man took advantage of Jonghyun’s moment of distraction and pulled the nutcracker from his hands. “Hey—” Jonghyun started but the man lifted his finger to his lips, effectively quieting Jonghyun.
As the man crossed the room with grace, Jonghyun saw a pair of sparkling pink wings on the man’s back, with each step the man took the wings left a trail of glittery air behind him.
It was then that Jonghyun realised why his fairy was missing from the giftbox.
The man—or rather, fairy—placed Sodam’s nutcracker gently onto the mantel of the fireplace. The fairy eyed the nutcracker for a few moments, as if to make sure it didn’t move from its place, before looking back at Jonghyun. The fairy held out his hand, and Jonghyun – though for the life of him had no idea why he did it – took it. The fairy led him towards the window, before stepping right through the glass and pulling Jonghyun along with him.
The pair stood out in the heavy snow, snowflakes catching in their hair and the cold reddening their cheeks. The fairy let go of his hand and walked back a few paces before spreading his wings and performing a dance.
Jonghyun was captivated.
He’d never seen such beauty in dance. The fairy’s pointed shoes hovered just above the snow, leaving it pristine and untouched. With each twirl the fairy made, the snow around them grew heavier, to the point that Jonghyun struggled to find the ornament come to life in the chaos.
But then, a soft pair of lips pressed against his. Lips as cold as porcelain. Jonghyun’s eyes fell shut and he pulled the fairy closer, he felt the desire to never end the kiss. Far too soon, the fairy pulled away and bowed his head in farewell. Jonghyun wanted to tell the fairy to wait, he had so many things to ask but the snow and the wind became far too strong it knocked Jonghyun to the ground. All while glitter fell over him, and the familiar tune of a dancing fairy filled his head.
When he woke, he was in his bedroom. The sun had barely risen and the world was still sound asleep. He reached for his phone and scrolled through his contacts before falling on Taemin, his boyfriend and bandmate.
I dreamt you were a fairy last night, he wrote.
The response was immediate, Of course you did.
day 1 | day 2 | day 3 | day 4 | day 5 | day 6 | day 7 | day 8 | day 9 | day 10 | day 11 | day 12
Disgusting.
the sticky tears,
the splattered ink,
a ripped notebook covered in a single word
written over and over:
fuck.
nothing will happen,
the tears,
the splattered ink,
the crippled pages
mean nothing—it is Disgusting.
lies are spread
through sparkling teeth that
do not care,
“tomorrow will be different,
homophobia has no place in our halls.”
it is Disgusting.
nothing happens,
your tears,
your broken pen,
your words,
are useless.
ignored and discarded,
no one cares.
she smiles at you,
her golden cross hangs
from her throat,
and she speaks
shiny teeth blinding your soaked eyes,
“you are Disgusting.”
Hi Ally, I was wondering if you still had your The Glee Club verse available? I've just been trying to find all my favorite old glee fanfics and yours was one of my most favorites.
Oh gosh hi. I didn’t think anyone liked The Glee Club when I wrote it lmao and I would have never thought anyone would remember it!!
I believe I still have it somewhere on my old laptop. It’s all in separate documents and shit because when I wrote it for some reason I saved chapters separately rather than altogether but I can look and see if I have them all. It was never finished unfortunately because I grew out of the ‘verse I created but if you want I can let you know how I planned to finish it? I still remember.
As for posting it and stuff, it would take me a while to get it all together and see if I have the earlier chapters (as I think the first 14 or so were written on ff.net rather than Word) but let me know how you’d want it. I wouldn’t mind reposting it on ff.net if it’s easier. It was just take me a bunch of time.
Let me know!! Also sorry if I’m late replying lmao. Thank you for remembering my first long chaptered fic!! ❤️
i just wanted to let you all know that there has been a little setback with prompt posting as you can probably tell. but the schedule will return in july, i promise. i need to get myself back on track and actually start writing before i lose my chance when school starts back up again in september.
sorry for making you all wait and i hope i can make your wait worth it <3
Reblog if it’s okay for your followers to leave you an ask telling you what the one thing is they remember you for as a writer. Is it a scene or a detail or a specific line? Is it something like style or characterization? Is it that one weird kink they never thought they’d be into, but oh my god wow self-discovery time?
> anonymous asked: shinee / onho / bottom lip
> ship: onho (feat. taemin)
> words: 774
> note: poor taemin. he always gets sucked into onho’s antics. since there wasn’t really a prompt other than bottom lip, i took the liberty of making it a bit funny and probably not what the person who sent this expected lmao.
The last thing Taemin expected when he walked into the dorm was to hear Minho swearing. That wasn’t to say he was surprised about the swearing – Minho swore like a sailor but what was surprising were the words that followed the curse words.
“Fuck, hyung, it hurts.”
Taemin’s cheeks immediately flushed with embarrassment. It sounded like it was coming from their shared bedroom. Taemin didn’t want to deal with walking in on his hyungs having sex. He’d never be able to look Jinki or Minho in the eyes again. God, Kibum would never let him live it down.
“Stop whining, it’ll feel better once I—” Jinki was cut off by Minho crying out loud.
Taemin wanted to leave but he had to get what he came for. It had been quite sometime since he moved out of the dorm but he still had some of things there laying around. To get to his and Jonghyun’s old room, he’d have to pass by Minho and Jinki’s room… He’d have to walk past whatever was going on in there.
The youngest member took a step further into the dorm and as his food pressed down against the hardwood, Minho cried out again: “Ah, Jinki.”
“You’re so vocal,” Jinki laughed, “if you stop moving your mouth it’ll feel better.”
Taemin gasped silently, what the fuck were they doing?
He very carefully kept walking towards the hallway, with each step he took he could hear Minho’s breathing grow heavier followed by Jinki’s whispers of comfort. Taemin prayed that their bedroom door was shut but he didn’t know whether or not that was a good. If it was, he could slink by without being seen and seeing anything but it meant that both Minho and Jinki were loud enough in bed that Taemin could hear them from the foyer of the dorm.
“I’m close to being done,” Jinki sounded tense, like an elastic band about to snap. Taemin was afraid of what that could mean.
As he grew close to the room, he could see the door was open. Taemin tried to sigh in exasperation but he worried that if he could hear them, then they could hear him. Very slowly, Taemin poked his head around the doorframe and saw… Nothing.
There was nothing there.
“And… I’m done,” Jinki still sounded close by. Taemin’s eyes widened, what if they were in his and Jonghyun’s old room? “Can you finish the rest yourself?”
“Yeah,” Minho replied, “it looks a bit red, doesn’t it?”
Taemin couldn’t help but let out a squeak. They were poisoning his not-so-virginal ears.
“It’s from all the squeezing,” Jinki said and Taemin heard movement coming from the bathroom.
“I really got it in there, didn’t I?” Minho said with a laugh.
Taemin saw the door knob turning and he dashed into his room. He left the door open a crack so that he knew when it was okay to sneak back out. Jinki came out of the bathroom, fully dressed and wiping his hands with a towel. His hyung looked back into the bathroom, “I don’t know how you get it in so deep. I didn’t think it was going to come out.”
Taemin was so confused…
“God, there’s blood everywhere,” Minho exclaimed and that was the last straw.
Taemin threw open the door, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
Jinki almost fell over in shock and Minho came running out of the bathroom—fully clothed with an ice pack pressed to his face, “Taemin?!”
“What were you doing? It sounded like… and then your mouth…” Taemin sounded dazed. “I go to the bathroom in there! It isn’t a place for something like—”
“Like what?” Jinki asked once he stood up.
“F-For that.”
Realization washed over Minho and he burst into laughter. Jinki remained just as confused as Taemin. “H-He thought—” Minho laughed harder, “Jinki he thought we were having sex.”
“What?!” Jinki was scandalized, “What gave you that idea?”
Taemin blushed, “Y-You were telling him to—it doesn’t matter! I know what I heard!”
Minho removed the ice pack revealing his swelling bottom lip, “I slipped in the kitchen and broke a mug. By my luck, a piece of glass went into my lip. Jinki was getting it out.”
Taemin faltered, “You fell?”
“Yeah.”
“And hurt your lip?”
“Yup.”
“Okay,” Taemin cleared his throat and passed them in the hallway. He headed straight to the front door and opened it.
“Where are you going?” asked Jinki.
“Far away from here,” Taemin said and left, trying to erase the events of the night out of his head.
