Aro Ace and Agender. Loud and Proud Queer

Hello, my name is Cedar (he/they) and I post what I deem as good triple-A posts (that is, posts about being aromantic, asexual, and/or agender). Will also occasionally post about other identities/queer stuff in general. I follow from @hazy-forest. Lgbtqia+ phobia/exclusionism, racism, sexism, ableism, and especially terfs not tolerated. Header by @nebuleeart.

[estrogen-dyke]

Aspec history arquives (queer archives because were here and were mutherfuckin queer) my beloved

The history of asexuality

The next time someone says 'you're just making up labels now', you show them this blog. Let's dive deep into the history of asexuality.

Asexuality Is Often Dismissed as an “Internet Identity.” But in Reality, “Aces” Existed Well Before They Could Log On.

We just have to know where in the archives of queer history to look.

Asexuality - Wikipedia

Asexuality - Wikipedia

Asexual history - AVENwiki

Asexuality always existed, you just didn't notice it | SE Smith

SE Smith: More people are openly identifying as asexual, but the complex world of asexuality is still misunderstood by the mainstream

The History of Asexuality – It’s Older Than You Think

A brief account of the origins and presence of asexuality throughout the course of history.

12 HISTORIC FIGURES WHO WERE ASEXUAL. | LGBT+ Amino

Written by Erin Wisti; I thought I'd share.   #asexuality #asexual #ace #acespectrum  Awareness of

(tho i disagree with historical figures being anything other than queer or whatever they called themselves but i understand the reasons to word it that way)

(TW Tucker Carlson and FOX NEWS)

Reddit - Dive into anything

The Tumblr bloggers building a canon of asexual history

Academics have long ignored the history of asexuality, so online communities are stepping in.

bless you tumblr you beautiful hellsite

[thesevenumbrellas]

Not all venom fans are monster fuckers 😞 some of us are just aroace disasters who like the idea of a platonic soulmate who likes to murder annoying people for you, is that so bad?

[thesevenumbrellas]

Guys I’m part of the club 🥺

[ursavorpalis]

monsterqueerplatonic

[thesevenumbrellas]

[extreme-ultimate-hornknee]

Aces are welcomed and are valued members in the monsterfucker community.

[this-is-asexual-joy]

This is asexual joy!

[molsno]

I really wish people would care about aro/ace trans girls. being subjected to transmisogyny is already isolating enough but as soon as the few people who might have been interested in getting closer with you realize that doing so means they have to make active attempts to recontextualize how they think of closeness and intimacy—that they can't rely on their preconceived notions of "platonic friend" or "romantic/sexual partner"—they pretty much always give up and try to sort you into one of those categories. almost every aro/ace trans girl I've ever met has suffered from extreme loneliness. it doesn't have to be this way. we deserve better

[taxi-boi]

every time someone treats Feeling Love™ as Political Praxis i want to beam this whole Moses Sumney quote into their head

[grammarpedant]

I like that this quote is gesturing at the Christian cultural belief that underlies it- because that's what "they need to love the person that's killing them" and "Some promise that in the afterlife, after they've been murdered by the people taking resources from them, that they'll go to heaven" of course are about. Turn the other cheek, love thy neighbor as thyself, Jesus loves you and that will save you (i.e. you will go to heaven after you die) so you must share that love with others to save them (proselytize the gospel), etc etc. Years ago someone's video essay introduced me to the idea that after the Western world secularized, society dropped the enshrinement of God as the all-powerful saving force... but kept the worshipful framework around Love as a whole, and especially romantic love, instead. I am no scholar of this part of history so I cannot say how evidence-based this claim is, but the idea that westernized societies worship the idea of love/romantic love (and in the unique way that they do) as a holdover from Christianity has lived rent free in my head ever since, because it would seem to go a long way to explaining why the hell we have these specific problems around the idea of love.

[knifearo]

if you infantilize me for being asexual i'm straight up killing you. and when i strew your intestines across the ground like a macabre piece of art and soak myself in blood and gore i'll earn myself that explicit label don't you worry

[knifearo]

being asexual leaves me more time to think about the horrifying and repulsive methods of torture i could put you through for being a dick about the fact that i'm just not interested in sex. call that 18+ content the way i would never subject a child to what i'm about to put you through

[possessable]

aspec identities aren't identities i guess. a lack of attraction isn't an identity in itself it's an absence that can be filled i guess. aspec identities and interpretations are the lowest tier of importance, like a blank canvas that can be painted over with something more valuable: romance and sex. did you know that you can complain about anyone who thinks of characters as "just" friends and it's well within your right, to say that platonic interpretations are boring, but if you complain about the way that shipping is frequently posited as the only valuable lens through which to interpret a relationship because "just" friendship isn't enough, or if you complain about how romantic/sexual relationships are considered automatically more deep and meaningful than mere friendship, then that's annoying. did you know that several times i've tried to propose aspec headcanons and i've been dismissed because there's no such thing as "proof" that a character is aspec because an absence doesn't count as an identity. an absence can be filled. did you know every conversation is about romance and sex and i can never participate. did you know romance and sex are the heart of the human experience. did you know it's all just for fun. why are you complaining? did you know it's just for fun, but not for you, because you don't count, because you aren't anything, because what you propose is a blank canvas that can be painted over, an absence that can be filled

[aromanticsky]

YOU ARE NOT TOO YOUNG TO BE AROMANTIC OR ASEXUAL. If you are old enough to be reading this on social media you are NOT too young to be aspec. The average age people start getting romantic crushes is early childhood and the average age people start experiencing sexual attraction is like 10 (generally, during early puberty). Yes, you might be a late bloomer, yes, it might change- but that doesn’t make you not allowed to identify as aspec right now if you find that useful. Even adults’ orientations sometimes change! That doesn’t mean your current experience is not real or worthy of a name and community.

[bloggingboutburgers]

I often think about the similarities between being aroace and not liking alcohol. Sex, romance and drinking are all considered huge aspects of adult life that everyone just does. Quite a few times when I've said I don't like the taste of alcohol I've been told stuff along the lines of "but have you tried ..." or even one time "we need to get you down to a pub to find something you like". Even one time when I mentioned I also didn't want to mix it with my ADHD medication someone was like "oh you should try this alcohol alternative that basically gets you drunk but without any hangover! It might even help your ADHD!" They never considered the prospect that I might just be fine with not getting drunk.

Honestly I took realising I was aroace better than realising I didn't like alcohol. With the aroace thing I was like "yeah that makes sense", with the alcohol thing I was like "shit am I ever going to be a proper adult???" Perhaps it's just because the alcohol thing came second, and the combo made me realise I was doomed to be the World's Most Boring Person in a lot of people's eyes.

hgfdujkgdfngjfkd Now's the shameful moment where I admit I actually do partake in alcohol quite a bit... (Is it 'cus I'm French? Hell if I know atp.) (...Also ironically my spouse's social circles, which are pretty much the only social circles I have access to right now since I moved from a whole other continent and haven't made local friends yet, basically DO NOT drink alcohol and I get looked at as the weird one when I do. Oh how the turns have tabled.)

But yeah. There's definitely a fair amount of gap there. From "OK but why do you assume everyone needs this as much as you seem to need it real talk" to being seen as The Boring One ot being seen as The Childish One. Because sure, being down for bitter tea or god forbid WATER means you're sooo childish, right- yeah tl;dr I can see it.

(Of course there's the elephant in the room that between being addicted to romance or sex is gonna be in the large majority of cases less harmful for your physical health than being addicted to alcohol though. Mental health-wise... I dunno. It's more of a grey area.)

[gendercensus]

The 2026 Gender Census is now open!

[ survey.gendercensus.com ]

The 13th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 13th August 2026.

It’s short and easy, for most participants it takes 5 minutes or less.

After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.

If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful!

Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com

The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.

Thank you so much!

[ Link to survey ]

PS: You can see some regularly-updated statistics about incoming data here, with lots of demography and graphs to peruse!

PPS: Image credits, bark and grass.

[purveyorofpudge]

truer words have never been spoken

stay fat and sexy, people in my phone 🫶🏻🫶🏻

[vintagerobin]

I'm going to be honest I think the notion that there is a clear-cut list delineating what is and isn't a romantic or platonic behavior that is universal to every culture, time and unique life experience is a complete load of shit.

[drowsy-corpsegirl]

Love the asexual tranny too, btw

[clowngirlcreampie]

not every social interaction has to be rooted in sexuality and the second a lot of girls start denying their body to others they lose a lot of opportunities for connection and I think a lot of us pretend it just doesn't happen like that

[redstonedust]

your blorbos don't have to be romantic to love each other (#platonic love wins) but also they don't have to love each other to be romantic. ship those characters as a loveless marriage. make their feelings tragically one-sided with no hope of change. put them in a dead end relationship that they both know needs to end but neither are willing to admit it yet. more bad ships forever. its enrichment for me.

[lucy-vanpelts]

when someone calls me their friend my heart skips a beat it’s like i won at being myself

[aroarolibrary]

I’ve been meaning to make this for everyone asking for weeks and I finally found the time to do it. Thank you everyone who loved this cover, it is truly overwhelming the positive response this has gotten. For all of you that wanted a printable book cover this is for you!

Top = dimensions for a hard cover.

Bottom = dimensions for a soft cover.

And, because I am worried about Tumblr messing with the quality I’ve officially set up a Google drive to share these as PDFs along with the high quality tiffs for anyone that wants to do a custom hardcover (Please see this amazing bookbinding job by @autumn--stars!!!)

Additional thanks to @dathen who let me quote this post for the back panel of this cover~

Thank you again everyone and enjoy!

[panic-at-the-aromantic]

”aro ppl can still date” well yes but you just dont see that character as aro

“ace ppl can still have sex” well yes but you just dont see that character as ace

nonbinary ppl can still use binary terms/identify as lesbian/identify as gay” well yes but you just dont see that character as nonbinary

[bloggingboutburgers]

"It's not hurting anyone" until it is, y'know

Obligatory "not all people" and "not all situation" yadda yadda yadda, but also, I don't feel like watering this one down into oblivion. You know what I mean.