unapologetic aro

agender aroace | they/them

[jeans-marrow]

Love is everything to you. I'm having the time of my life on my own.

[ch0co-c0rn3t-lov3]

DO NOT DOWNLOAD TUMBLR it will install a virus on your device called tumblr

[possessable]

aspec identities aren't identities i guess. a lack of attraction isn't an identity in itself it's an absence that can be filled i guess. aspec identities and interpretations are the lowest tier of importance, like a blank canvas that can be painted over with something more valuable: romance and sex. did you know that you can complain about anyone who thinks of characters as "just" friends and it's well within your right, to say that platonic interpretations are boring, but if you complain about the way that shipping is frequently posited as the only valuable lens through which to interpret a relationship because "just" friendship isn't enough, or if you complain about how romantic/sexual relationships are considered automatically more deep and meaningful than mere friendship, then that's annoying. did you know that several times i've tried to propose aspec headcanons and i've been dismissed because there's no such thing as "proof" that a character is aspec because an absence doesn't count as an identity. an absence can be filled. did you know every conversation is about romance and sex and i can never participate. did you know romance and sex are the heart of the human experience. did you know it's all just for fun. why are you complaining? did you know it's just for fun, but not for you, because you don't count, because you aren't anything, because what you propose is a blank canvas that can be painted over, an absence that can be filled

[depsidase]

[segamascott]

he still did 9/11 no one can take that from him ❤️

[susiejj-moved]

soulmates, also known as the poor man's incest

[susiejj-moved]

The simple answer is that a soulmate is a person you are bound to for life where the bond is made before you are born. Like someone you are related to.

[tomnookishot]

i dont know nor do i care about whether or not this was intended to be a pro-ship thing and i am coming at it from an angle of "i hate shipping" period because before anyone asks yes i hate all of you and yes i hate fun and yes i will let people enjoy things but i reserve the full right to choose to hate them and block them in private.

the concept of "soulmates" has always rubbed me the wrong way as an aromantic because No I Was Not Created For The Sake Of Someone Else and also No Even If You Say "well the aromantics have platonic soulmates ^w^" It Is Still Uncomfortable To Imply That We Exist To Belong To Someone. however, every once in a while, somebody gets it right by EXPLORING the idea of soulmates and being CRITICAL of it within their writing. i appreciate it when people analyse the implications of a world in which soulmates exist and actually it's shitty! someone takes advantage of the other! society pressures two incompatible people to stay together because it was meant to be! what if the idea that two people are soulmates is used as leverage to gain power over the other person because hey you have no choice but to be with ME! im not talking about "oo hot daddy dom alpha grabs the bottom's face and kisses them without their permission because they're soulmates and this is just part of the smut" i mean the people who actually engage with the concept basically as a metaphor for the real world politics of love. a metaphor for patriarchy. a metaphor for how social connections are used against us and forced upon us because of societal obligations. and it can still include smut or fluff or whatever interspersed into it but it actually SAYS something about how people view love as the end-all-be-all of what it means to be human and how only good can come from love.

so like. comparing soulmates to incest actually makes. sense. like. so because of circumstances we have absolutely no control over, we are born into a web of relationships that, by ducking out of, we can be left stranded, alone, ostracised, and in pain. these people we are stuck with can hurt or abuse us, force their will upon us or make us uncomfortable or say terrible things or fundamentally differ from us, but distancing or leaving them is Bad because That's Not What Normal People Do. because They're Your Person, Why Can't You Stick It Out? You're Family After All. You're Soulmates Aren't You? this happens within families and within marriages. it especially affects women and trans people. can't you just brush it under the rug? wow, i can't believe she left him, no wonder he cheated. they were so cute together, everybody fights. i know you didn't like when he did that, but can we just keep it together for the sake of the holidays? you should have tried harder. you could've seen past it. everybody makes mistakes. just because she did one thing, doesn't mean she will do it again. they were just lonely, you didn't give them enough attention. sometimes family members fight, but you stick with them anyway because blood is thicker than water.

come on queer people. don't you understand what it's like to have something forced upon you that society will hate you for rejecting? maybe OP here was going for a gotcha because they like incest but I Truly Do Not Care. to me it's not Ha You Actually Do Like It. instead it's a reminder that even these little things that people just accept as cute and innocent and wholesome are actually representative of greater systemic issues that people ignore because they have little upsides to them.

[haunteddollsgeorg]

I think the ideal mutual is someone with some solid common ground but who also has a bonkers niche interest that’s totally foreign to you. It’s like a friendly educational experience

[highonoverthinking]

July wasn’t going so well for franz kafka

[genderkoolaid]

i think we should stop devaluing lust as a form of attraction/acting like lust is inherently worse or more abusive or less trustworthy or whatever in comparison to romantic love. it's just amatonormative and arophobic!

having sexual desire but not romantic =/= not valuing a person, not liking them, treating them like an object, etc. you can lust for someone and not be in love with them and still respect them and have a good relationship with them. lust isn't inherently "shallow" or "surface level" either; you can lust after someone's personality just as much as their body. we need to stop demonizing non-romantic sexual relationships and we need to stop acting like people who are sexually attracted to someone without being in love with them are evil abusive predators who treat other people like objects- thats textbook arophobia.

[genderkoolaid]

#it's also not reflective of reality#more than ince has someone been in love with me and treated me poorly. love doesn't protect you from that#but you know what does? respect.#and sexual desire is not BY NATURE disrespectful#some people use their sexual desire as a way to show disrespect. but they use plenty of other ways too

YES!!!!!!!!! genuine 100% honestly felt real romantic love can be disrespectful and shallow. sexual lust with 0% romantic or monogamous intention can be respectful and deeply emotionally intimate. i cannot rest until everyone understands this.

[desultory-suggestions]

One of the weirdest thing about growing up suicidal is that you assume you have no future, you don’t even try to envision it because you see no point. So eventually, you start assuming everyone else sees nothing in your future either. Recently, my friend and I were talking and she said something about how at her wedding I could wear a suit or a dress as long as it matched her bridesmaid’s dresses because the butler of honor has to make a good impression. This hit me so hard because I had never realized before how other people thought about me. She said it so casually like it wasn’t even a hard decision, just a given fact. She loves me so much she saw me at her wedding, standing with her on one of the most important days of her life. And you know what? There are so many people who think about you that way. If that isn’t proof that you should keep going I don’t know what is.

[self-loving-vampire]

This is called a sense of foreshortened future and it is also very common in traumatized people, particularly in cases involving long-term abuse or the death of a loved one.

[is-that-sand-in-my-waffles]

rule #1 of tumblr polls is NEVER include a joke option if you don't want it to win by a landslide because tumblr users have one committed relationship in their lives and it's to the bit

[enthyrea]

i miss you, and the summers have returned.

original poem by sara kleijn 🪐

[lunamonchtuna]

to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

[lunamonchtuna]

to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

[amygdalae]

kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically

[destinationtoast]

dying at this sequence from @pinkydragon01 :

[korppipoika]

Snowball in Hell, acrylics, 30cmx20cm

I used a random piece of wire to paint the smallest details..!

[creator-of-chaos-and-pizza]

Once again I´m thinking of Snowball in Hell, one of my favourite paintings ever

[zechery-deactivated20220114]

Send me to Mars with party supplies before next august 5th

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

No guys you don’t understand.

The soil testing equipment on Curiosity makes a buzzing noise and the pitch of the noise changes depending on what part of an experiment Curiosity is performing, this is the way Curiosity sings to itself.

So some of the finest minds currently alive decided to take incredibly expensive important scientific equipment and mess with it until they worked out how to move in just the right way to sing Happy Birthday, then someone made a cake on Curiosity’s birthday and took it into Mission control so that a room full of brilliant scientists and engineers could throw a birthday party for a non-autonomous robot 225 million kilometres away and listen to it sing the first ever song sung on Mars*, which was Happy Birthday.

This isn’t a sad story, this a happy story about the ridiculousness of humans and the way we love things. We built a little robot and called it Curiosity and flung it into the star to go and explore places we can’t get to because it’s name is in our nature and then just because we could, we taught it how to sing.

That’s not sad, that’s awesome.

*this is different from the first song ever played on mars (Reach For The Stars by Will.I.Am) which happened the year before, singing is different from playing

[shadows-ember]

This is humanity

[siawrites]

Happy Birthday, Curiousity.

[labelleizzy]

Happy birthday, Curiosity.

[grac3yn]

eva stratt they could never make me hate you