we're not kids anymore.
oozey mess
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
RMH
Monterey Bay Aquarium
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
NASA
Keni
Origami Around
d e v o n
todays bird
AnasAbdin
hello vonnie
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
ojovivo
trying on a metaphor
Stranger Things
styofa doing anything
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@a-stoned-butch
lesbians pioneered the fashion that straight women AND men love today…straight girls used to be so afraid to wear the clothes that are in style now lest they be mistaken for dykes…and now they wear it every day and we dont even get credit for it…shaking mine head..
too many of you, especially people who are not lesbians, judge whether or not someone is butch by their hair and it’s absurd.
not everyone with short hair is butch, firstly. butch is a very specific, lesbian-exclusive identity, and i promise you emma watson is not a butch. the woman you reblogged with short hair but a full face of makeup is not butch. butch is an intricate identity about rejecting femininity and embracing masculinity in a way that puts women at the forefront of your priorities.
secondly, butch is much more than an aesthetic, and you can have long hair and be butch. i keep my hair long because i’m closeted and self-conscious. i have seen trans butches say that they keep their hair long because it helps them validate their gender. some butches have long hair because it’s important to them religiously or culturally. the idea that long hair is inherently feminine and short hair inherently masculine is a white, western, and i would say relatively modern one.
calling any woman with short hair a butch is ridiculous, and shows a very narrow understanding of butchness and butch lesbians that reduces our identity to an aesthetic applying to a very narrow concept of masculinity, and you need to stop.
Why I (a bi women) think bi women shouldn’t use butch/femme
So, here’s my own hot take on bi women using butch/femme terms. I researched the history of the terms butch/femme and lesbians experiences with them, and this is my understanding of these terms and identities. The terms butch and femme are complicated lesbian identities that have been in use for a long time. If you don’t already know, butch and femme don’t just mean that one dresses more masculine or feminine. These identities also coincide with gender expression, social presentation, sexual and relationship roles, subverting gender roles, and gender identity. Femmes are not lesbians trying to act straight, and butches are not lesbians trying to be straight men, and these identities should never be mistaken as such. The experience of loving and being sexually attracted to women only often shapes how women view themselves and their world. Some lesbians feel a disconnect from their womanhood, because of their lesbianism, and go by alternative pronouns. Other lesbians identify as non-binary, and their gender identity and sexuality do not discredit the other. The terms butch and femme often help lesbians who have no other language to describe their lesbianism and gender identity express their feelings and identities. Butch and femme are very reliant of the lesbian experience, and how being a women who solely loves other women affects them. Bi women, obviously, do not share lesbian experiences that shape these identities, because, in short, bi women are not lesbians. This isn’t to say bi women cannot love women as well as lesbians or that bi women cannot have complicated relationships with their gender. However, I am saying that bi women do not share the same relationship with womenhood, identity, and gender expression that lesbians do, because they do not share the experience of loving and having relationships with only women. Butch and femme identities are often built off of these experiences, and because bi women do not share in these experiences, they also cannot share in these identities. Also, the terms butch and femme were often created and used in the context of women seeking other women and wanting a relationship with only women. Butches often seek out femmes, and vice-versa. While butch-butch relationships and femme-femme relationships obviously exist (and are completely valid) the birth of these terms, while also based on lesbians’ complicated relationship with gender, are also based on women seeking relationships with other women. Femme/butch identities are synonymous with having relationships with other women and were created to have relationships with other women, so it wouldn’t truly make sense for butch or femme women to seek out relationships with men or non-binary partners. Idenifieng as a term created in the context of a specific action and relationship, while seeking something different just wouldn’t make sense. But, what about bi women? Are they not allowed to have terms to express their identities and feelings? First of all, I do not believe bi women using butch and femme terms is a completely malicious attack on lesbians and their terminology. Many bi women, me included, were not or are not aware of terminology for bi women, and have used butch or femme to describe themselves. But, now there are many terms to describe bi women, such as doe, stag, and tomcat. While not much has been explored in these identities and they are fairly new, bi women do have terms to describe ourselves when it comes to gender expression, and experiences as bi women. (I might make another post about my experiences with femme/doe identities, and what they mean to me.) More bi women coining identities such as tomcat or doe can help more people become aware of these identities and bring more nuance and exploration of these identities.
TLDR; The term butch and femme were built on the lesbian experiences and the context of wanting relationships with only women. Because bi women cannot share in those experience and do not solely want relationships with men, they cannot also share in the identities that do not revolve around their experiences. I hope with made sense! Also, please be civil in the notes! XOXO
nonblack lesbians arent studs
Look at this. Read it. Then read it again.
Ok actually I’mma add something, as there are people confused in the tags about what this means. “Stud” (in the context of lesbianism) is a black identity identity akin to what butch would be considered. It’s a unique role and identity that originated from black lesbian communities (same as AG/aggressive(s) girls/stem/boi). There has been a problem with white lesbians in particular putting themselves in the stud tag and plastering their faces all other spaces/media made for STUDS (a specific group of GNC black lesbians). It’s really annoying and tiring because most of these white self pro claimed “studs” end up emulating masculine coded behaviour that is found in black (Specifically African American) culture, which literally makes y’all look like fools. Black identities and cultural mannerisms are not for your consumption or appropriation.
just remembered i’m a lesbian. what a relief
‘dyke’ can only be reclaimed by lesbians, die mad about it
You can’t be bi and a lesbian bc words have meanings I don’t make the rules I just enforce them
I feel like there’s a fine line between “creating visibility for LGBT people” and “trying to profit off of LGBT people both in terms of money and positive PR” and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to navigate
one of my problems with having cishet aces in the lgbt community is that it makes me wonder, where does the inclusion cut off?
because if you think lgbt must also include identities like cishet demisexuals, who are literally “straight and cis and only feel attracted once i know you,” it becomes…even more ridiculous.
you really think you’re entitled to a community’s support when your struggles aren’t even remotely similar to ours? you think the oppression/discrimination you face for your sexual identity, by being gray ace, is the same as ours? even when you’re straight and cis?
the ace community exists for a reason. the lgbt community is not for you.
hot take: if you’re ace and cishet you’re not lgbt+. no offense, but you’re not oppressed for not wanting to have sex. you don’t get the oppression that actual lgbt+ people get. you don’t get called a sinner. you don’t get kicked out of your home, murdered, or fired from your job for being ace. you don’t have to “come out” to your family as ace. they probably don’t care if you’re not having sex.
Here’s a real spicy take: If you aren’t a lesbian you can’t say you are femme or butch. Masculine and feminine are probably the words you are looking for.
if you’re nb or trans you’re probably looking for the words “fem” and “masc” (shortened versions of those words) not to be confused with “femme” and “butch” (lesbian exclusive terminology)
it’s so interesting how uncomfortable straight people get when i use the word lesbian around them. like I don’t do it often and it’s not like i’m trying to make anyone uncomfortable at all. but it’s part of who i am and if it ever comes up in conversation, it’s like it’s almost okay until I say the word lesbian and then everyone kind of looks at me like “why’d you have to do that?”
i see u, str8 people. i see u.
it’s unacceptable to just not have the lesbian pride flag in your pride posts. i don’t care if you “don’t want to get involved in lesbian flag discourse”, you are being lesbophobic. we have made countless new flags. use them or don’t bother making the post in the first place.
(people who aren’t lesbians can reblog this if you want, just please don’t comment or derail. i’m talking about an issue specific to the lesbian community that relates to pride.)
