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[aafree]

A wild aafree post appeared! My apologies for possibly perplexing you, but I need to let some thoughts out. This is being typed out minutes after the end of the Olympic bronze medal game between the men’s national basketball teams of Australia and Spain.

As much as I wanted to stay a neutral spectator, I couldn’t. I found myself pulling for the scrappy Australians. I’ve been in Underdog Corner all tournament long. Not the wisest choice in an Olympic setting, but it is what it is.

Australia trailed by as much as nine at some point, but the Boomers clawed their way into a ballgame in the third quarter. The competition turned out to be tightly contested towards the end. Players like Patty Mills (pictured above) and Pau Gasol displayed their cojones by scoring in the clutch. At some point, there were about three (or four) lead changes in five consecutive possessions.

I thought at least two questionable foul calls were made in the final minute. The first (and less controversial) whistle went in favor of the Aussies. David Andersen was inadvertently hit on the head during a rebound play. The contact was made clearer in the replay. Because Spain was in the penalty (both teams, actually), Andersen made both free throws, which pushed the Boomers ahead by a point.

The second call had everyone up in arms. Spanish player x (I forgot his name and I’m too lazy to google it) drove to the basket and, well, tripped forward. In the replay, it looked a lot like Mr. Spaniard fell over himself. Patty Mills, the eventual man he would “fall into,” was vertical and had his feet more or less planted on the ground. Spaniard player makes both free throws, and España was in the lead with about five seconds left in the game.

Australia botched their inbounds play, the clock ran out, and the scrappy underdogs held their head in their hands, some staring into space in disbelief, others helplessly looking on as the entire Spanish squad danced its victory dance on the other end of the court.

I don’t usually go for the low-hanging fruit (aka blame the refs); I’d like to believe I’m a thinking and discerning fan of the game, but the second call stood out. So permit me this bout of pettiness. Wait, why am I even asking permission? This is my frigging blog!

ANYWAY, this was a bronze medal game. Olympic medal games have countless ramifications. Given everything at stake, you’d think that the refs would allow the teams to decide the result. But you know what? This wasn’t even about that. It was about making the right calls and non-calls! That last one was supposed to be a non-call, and a mistake was made. In a crucial part of a crucial match.

Okay, I’m done being petty.

My heart sank seeing head coach Andrej Lemanis clutch his face and crouch in anguish, as the last play of his team unraveled. It was excruciating seeing Patty Mills, who 1. got jacked AF for international play and 2. took over games, defeated. I was deflated seeing Andrew Bogut watch from the sideline (Actually, I take that back. He fouled out less than three minutes into the third quarter. That’s completely on him.)

I’m aware of the logical leaps and irrational outbursts here, but that’s how it is when you're aching from the loss of the team you rooted for. I rooted for France, and France got the boot. I rooted for Argentina, and Argentina got kicked out. I’ll probably feel the same way about Serbia after their gold medal game against Team USA, but I shouldn’t get ahead of myself.

Ah, well. The interplay between victory and defeat hugely contributes to making a sport great. And I love this sport.

This marks the end of my little rant. Time for an episode of “Better Call Saul” before the next game. Cheers.

[aafree]

I need a distraction. I’ve been killing time here in JFK after being bumped off the flight bound for Hong Kong (which departed at around 9:55 am). There’s this cute European/Scandinavian-looking lady a few tables away and it’s been a struggle fighting the urge to approach and disturb her.

To be fair, she looks bored and would very much prefer to do anything except look down at what seem to be readings. I wonder how well she speaks English and if my accent would prove easy on her ears.

Update: She has now fashioned her hair into a standard bun, which, along with her flowery scarf, lends her an academic air.

Update 2: She has undone the said bun after twirling her hair with her fingers… and rolled her hair back up into a bun.

Clearly she is bored and I am creepy.

[I move to Terminal 8 from Terminal 1 for stand-by purposes.]

Welp. So much for interacting with Tanya (yes, I have arbitrarily assigned her a nickname). As I write, my parents are a few seats away, reciting the rosary. It’s kinda weird because there’s this middle-eastern man sitting between us, too. Is there a prayer room around here somewhere?

Anyway, I’ve used up the airport’s complementary wifi (which lasts for a stingy half-hour) and am tempted to go on data, which will cost me a hefty amount of money. I will probably go on data to post this anyway, so whatever. YOLO, right? Don’t answer that.

Update: The middle eastern-looking man seated between my rosary-reciting parents and I stands and walks away.

Happy New Year!

I’m not sure if you noticed but the sentiment countering that which spurs us to formulate and adhere to new year’s resolutions is on the rise. And I’m fine with that. Up until a couple of years ago, I had been listing down things I promised to do for myself in the spirit of change, improvement and hope. Because when else to implement these habits, if not when the slate is wiped clean, right?

Call me lazy, but at least I’m real. I’m no longer putting that kind of pressure on myself only to cop out by the end of the first quarter. If I am to make any modifications in my habits or behavior, I’ll do it when I want to and on my own terms. I’m hardheaded like that.

Do know that I’m not hating on those who take advantage of the occasion to /do something/. I’m all for it and rooting for you! It’s just that I’ve failed enough times and a different approach might suit me. Regarding what approach that is,

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[aafree]

If one were to trace and highlight the path carved by my blades in ice, one would likely come up with scratches and squiggly lines not much different from when matter is “spaghettified” as it’s sucked into a black hole (I would imagine). The final outline would prove indicative of my trepidation and jarring lack of grace and balance.

Some of you will judge me for this but I never rode my bike without training wheels. I used to think the that the “reinforcement” wheels made the vehicle (and myself by reverse-extension) look cool. I also remember the older kids in my neighborhood strutting in rollerblades. I wanted to be just like them but I never really got around to owning a pair. I can’t recall if I ever badgered my parents into getting me one. I probably did.

“Klutz” has been a staple word that I identify with. I frequently find ways to topple things over and I’m always at risk of spilling drinks. In elementary school, I made a poorly executed behind-the-back pass which caused the basketball to careen towards the nearest wall, bounce off of it and crash into the tiny glass vases decorating an electronic fountain - in the house of a former classmate. I still cringe at the memory.

My eleven-year-old cousin brought his “hoverboard” (Aside: I have no idea why it’s called that. It has no levitational capabilities.) to our recent family reunion and dared me to give it a go. And who chickens out on a prepubescent kid’s dare? Not me. Sadly, I couldn’t stand on it without gripping someone’s hand. It was really difficult tilting my feet forward or backward while maintaining a straight back. It was a miracle I didn’t fall on my ass. Ah, nothing like looking incompetent in the eyes of a prepubescent male human being. To be fair though, people falling off these “hoverboards” are popping out on the news.

I’m guessing I need to come up with a punchline here, right? But really, I’m just meandering. If anything, life is a dance..? Ew, I can’t believe I just typed that. Ugh. I hate this, pretending to come up with some truism just to cap off what, in reality, is a random blog post.

It’s a rainy day in New York City but less frigid somehow. At least I no longer need to worry about not feeling my face or hands (which was something I complained about in my Snapchat story. Add me: aalibre). The family and I are visiting some relatives in New Jersey so that should be fun. I’ll leave it at that for now. I hope you’re all well. Good day.

[aafree]

Good morning from New York! I am typing this while intermittently glancing out the window of our hotel room, which overlooks the ever-busy Manhattan. Apparently my borderline sleepless trip (I snoozed for a grand total of an hour and a half during the fourteen-hour flight) was rewarding, as it helped ease my body clock into a different timezone. I did pretty well sleep-wise through our first night here and I hope that this, along with the coffee I just had, prevents me from turning into the Walking Dead today. Sluggishness is the enemy if the goal is to explore a city on the other side of the planet.

Some side notes:

1. Shoutout to the passenger who spent about half the travel time walking and standing on the aisles while carrying her kid to try to put him to sleep. I wouldn’t have that kind of patience for anyone, so props. I hope she has gotten the rest she deserves.

2.1. I saw two films while in transit: “Ex Machina” and “Kingsman.” While the latter was entertaining, the former was absolutely riveting. It has a compelling plot that revolves around just a handful of characters. The way the story was delivered was more than enough to keep me on the edge of my seat.

2.2. That the technology used to power AVA’s AI makes use of the accumulated information gathered by “listening” devices proved to be chilling. You do know that - in real life - smartphones, tablets and smart TVs record our conversations and upload them to the cloud, right?

2.3. Knowing that General Hux (Gleeson) and Poe Dameron (Isaac) are among the leads made my viewing experience all the more fun.

2.4. I am crazy about Alicia Vikander.

2.5. I am crazy about Sonoya Mizuno.

3. My entire family (save myself) are back in bed after breakfast. And I thought our early head start was going to help us be productive today. This is not a good sign.

[aafree]

I'm currently on stand by here in the HKIA, waiting on whether or not the travel gods will grant me a seat on the plane bound for the City that Never Sleeps (such is the life of a chance passenger but I have no complaints). So here I am, alone with my thoughts. Allow me to kill some time. Moments ago, as I was spacing out (something I usually do when struggling to string words together), I caught a glimpse of a family bidding goodbye to one of their members. The mother (I think) was locked in an embrace with her daughter (I think), who was facing my direction. The daughter's eyebrows were furrowed, her eyes peering into a space existing only in her mind. Eventually, the daughter had to untangle herself and make her way to the line leading to the x-ray for carry-on luggage. Of course, witnessing this while having Bon Iver's stellar sophomore album play through my earphones (and color my perception), I had to recognize how difficult it is to say goodbye. Going out into the world alone for the first time can be a daunting task. It makes you want to cower back into the warm and loving arms of the ones who raised you and protected you from harm and uncertainty. And yet here you are, diving head-first into it. I would imagine that this isn't too far from what the very first astronaut felt as he broke through the earth's orbit and into space. The darkness of the unknown can be overwhelming. But it isn't all bad; there darkness is sprinkled with the light of distant stars. The airport is an interesting place because it's always in flux; feet are shuffling, people come and go. And yet there is a sense of inevitability that permeates the place - the inevitability of being separated or being reunited (barring of course, unfortunate accidents). However, regardless of what happens, life has to go on. Inevitably, loved ones will have to return to their everyday lives. Inevitably, both the parties leaving and staying behind must go back to bearing the burden of existence. Anyway, I don't even know if I'm still making sense. I think I just lack sleep and food. I really hope I get on this flight. I have about an hour to go before I find out. Maybe I'll explore the shops and torture myself by looking at all the things I cannot buy. Inevitably, I bid you adieu (for now).

[aafree]

Hello, It's Me.

How long has it been? A lifetime? Needless to say, lots of things have changed and stayed the same since my last entry on here. Some things off the top of my head: 1. "Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens" is now a watchable reality, as opposed to the distant fan dream that it was the last time I shared anything on this dusty blog. This is probably the film that finally gets me to take the plunge into the Star Wars universe. My relatives gifted me with a Chewy hoodie and Stormtrooper mug with my name on it. That should set me on the intergalactic path. 2. We now also have a new Filipina Miss Universe. Congratulations to Pia Wurtzbach! Anybody who's confidently beautiful with a heart deserves the crown. 3. I'm a sneakerhead who writes about basketball. Weird/cool, huh? 4. Never the Strangers has a new album out! It's called "SCREENBURN," FYI. 5. I am still into horrible puns and overthinking. Anyway, a belated merry Christmas and advanced New Year greeting to you, dear reader. It's me again, the sporadic blogger! Yay. I'm itching to put my nagging thoughts into writing again, which is why I'm back here. If experience has taught me anything, it's that I shouldn't make promises I cannot keep. So I won't promise frequent and regular posts. Try, though, I will. Gimme some of that Force! I'll be off to bed now. I hope you are well. Good night and I will catch you later!

[aafree]

Finally got my hands on a physical copy of HAIM's "Days are Gone." Love these gals. Please come to Manila!

[aafree]

Isolation

Nobody wants to be lonely. There are those who push people away. It's ironic because what they really need is to know that there are people care for and love them. They need an embrace, a hand to hold, a form of reassurance. People construct walls - walls of varying size and thickness - to mask their vulnerability. Everyone puts on a mask. Everyone has a facade. Everyone, at some point in their lives, has said something they don't really mean just to protect themselves. Maybe it's for self-preservation or pride. We all have our reasons.

Why does it seem like humans are built to collide all the time? Why do we push one another when, deep inside, we desire company and warmth? Sigh. Earthlings.

[aafree]

The Fear of Death

A friend told me that the human brain has a section dedicated to suppressing the fear of death. It's supposed to prevent us from freaking out too much about it so we can function properly. Other animals don't have it, since they aren't self-aware like we are. Still, this doesn't stop me from contemplating my mortality or the mortality of the people I love in the wee hours of the night.

Pretty much like the scenario of watching a horror film wherein your eyes are glued to the screen despite your willing yourself to look away, my thoughts tend to dwell on what I consider repulsive. I'd mull over what would happen to my pale body and who would come to my funeral.

It also bothers me to imagine myself as a wrinkly old man looking back  his life perhaps burdened with bitter regret. I guess it's just the pessimist in me. At times these thoughts make me question why I do the things I do and what my life is for if in the end I'll just end up in a box just like everyone else.

But I learned from somewhere that one's purpose in life is to create a purpose for oneself. So of course, there's the usual banter of making the most out of our time here and dedicating our lives to things bigger than ourselves.

But the fear remains.

[aafree]

FlappyBird

Never in my life have I witnessed such a resentment and addiction for an app game. I'd like to give it a try but I fear that this game will leave my life in shambles, tear apart my family, smudge away my future, dash my hopes and dreams, cause me sleepless nights, induce hallucinations, grow me an extra limb and have me develop a fear of green pipes.

[aafree]

Friday

Staying in tonight. I'm rather late to the "Zero Dark Thirty" party (inappropriate, I know) but I'm glad I saw it. I'm aware that some liberties have been taken (seriously, was there ever a historically inspired film whose creators stayed 100% true to the narrative?) but I'd like to think it was the right move. Controversy aside, ZDT is a powerful film.

I count my laptop film-viewing experience a success when I hit the pause key less than five times to check on social media or whatnot. Fortunately, the drama, tension and suspense were enough to keep me reeled in. I saw "The Great Beauty" yesterday, which was quite the slow burner. Despite its sublimity and grandeur (props to director Paolo Sorrentino), I had to take a number of breaks. Still, I enjoyed the experience. Toni Servillo (plays Jep Gambardella) has this aura that captivates the viewer. I plan on seeing TGB again just to digest it further. Ah, European cinema.

[aafree]

I just finished reading Brian Greene's "The Elegant Universe," which narrates the author's pursuit to unravel the deepest mysteries of the cosmos through Super String Theory or simply String Theory. Wielding his mastery of language, Greene deftly weaves the story of his experiences with the inevitable technicalities crucial to the science this Pulitzer Prize-nominated book seeks to impart.

Heads up. Some mind f*ck is coming your way. Like any man of science worth his salt must do, Greene eases the reader in with the more fundamental concepts of physics and steadily builds on them. He leads with Einstein's theories of relativity and Quantum Mechanics. Alright, maybe they're not so fundamental.

Some of you may be raising your eyebrows. I know what you're thinking: the theories of relativity and Quantum Mechanics do not agree! How is it possible that such seemingly conflicting theories are used together?

(Note: I don't plan on giving you an all-encompassing explanation for String Theory simply because it would be foolish to even think of trying. This is just a blog entry and I'm nothing but a faux-cisist wannabe. As it is, I'm out of my league.)

By capitalizing on the idea that the theories of relativity apply mainly to objects of enormous scale (planets, stars) and things that travel in extreme speeds (light), and that Quantum Mechanics manifests itself in the sub-atomic realm (electrons, other particles), String Theory is able to reconcile the supposedly clashing schools of thought to paint a grander picture.

Common knowledge dictates that four dimensions exist in our world: three for space and one for time. String Theory suggests otherwise. It insists that there are at least ten dimensions. You read that right. Ten. Dimensions. String physicists theorize that if you zoom into an open space closely enough, you'll spot what they call Calabi-Yau shapes. Named after the two mathematicians responsible behind their discovery, these shapes are curled up and exist in six dimensions.

Curious things, aren't they? Because they're so small, we are unable to perceive them with our bare senses. Waving your hand in the air does nothing; your arm just bypasses the microscopic dimensions.

According to String Theory, atoms are not the smallest bits of matter in the universe. Strings are! Bet you didn't expect that. These fine vibrating strings make up the fabric of space and time. No one has actually proven the existence of such strings because the technology we require to be able to zoom into that scale of space hasn't been invented yet. Instead, several mathematicians and physicists have proven it through complex equations but I'm not about to go into that. I'll wager they were relieved that their computations thus far are consistent with the equal sign.

So. What is String Theory's thesis statement? What's its main idea? If I had the answer, I'd hand it to you right away. I swear. As I type this, my thoughts are in tangles and knots, struggling to gather the appropriate words and order by which to present them. I don't know if the essence of the theory can be summed up in a sentence using less than ten words. I doubt it. Even if it's possible, it's not my place to attempt to articulate it. I'd hate to infect your mind with inaccurate information.

One thing's for sure: the puzzle isn't complete yet. If, however, the gut feeling of several string theorists is right, then we are at the brink of further discovery.

If String Theory turns out to be the Theory of Everything, consider the implications:

We could solve the mystery in the Big Bang Theory, or maybe shed light on what black holes are all about. Believe it or not, it's been theorized that black holes are gateways from one universe to another. What if our universe exploded from a black hole and will eventually compress into the singularity veiled by an event horizon? Scientists speculate that if other universes do exist, their laws of physics might differ greatly from ours. How about that?

Sorry, I'm gushing. I find it difficult to not be stirred by such possibilities. Greene has opened my inquisitive eyes even wider and a sign of appreciation, I'm paying it forward by sharing with you.

He gives several answers but answers lead to more questions - questions as innumerable as the stars in the night sky. One can't help but be dazzled by the scattered twinkling dots of light.

I recall what my science teacher in university said: everything we know about the world is a result of all the successes, failures, breakthroughs and discoveries by those who came before us. We have reached such great heights because we stand on the shoulders of giants.

There is more to know and much to climb but you can't deny this:

Nothing beats the view from up here.

[aafree]

Singularity

I skimmed through my soon-to-be retired planner to assess the year that was. Life really does come in peaks and troughs. You have a good month, then a better one after. You go downhill for a while, then before you know it, you’re back up. It’s a cycle.

For a good while, I noted down details like the times I’d go to bed and rise the next day. I’d write down money-related matters - where it came from, where it’d go and so on. I had several to-do lists and goals, big and small. I would give myself monthly letter grades for my “life performance” in various facets: financial, social, physical, artistic, etc. Then I would seek to improve on myself the succeeding month. I did this for a while, but eventually I went off-track (and perhaps got lazy).

I was so keen on taking control of every little aspect of my life.

The Good-Good: Thankfully, I was able to accomplish a good many things. I’ve written new songs, gotten more fit, listened to the records I wanted to hear, read the books and articles I wanted to read and saw the shows I wanted to see. I’ve been to places. I’ve played guitar at gigs. I’ve made several friends and acquaintances, and kept some of my old ones. I’ve gotten tipsy/drunk in good company.

The Bad-Good: I’ve faced failures, several of them. I let people down, I let myself down. There were times when I assumed or expected too much. I sort of thought I could do everything. At times, I got out of touch with reality. It usually doesn’t end well that way. You set yourself up for disappointment, and this applies to everything: work, relationships (romantic and non-romantic), what have you.

The Scary-Good-Bad: Even if we all sit still, we are still moving forward in time. I’m not getting any younger. Youth is an ephemeral thing. As much as I’d want to hold on to it, I can’t (I’m not saying that I’m *old* though). I can only keep my heart and spirit young. I suppose that’s comfort enough. One thing that scares me the most is losing the people I truly care about. Honestly, I want to have my parents and friends around forever. But truth be told, life is short. I’m still coming to terms with that fact and am figuring out how to become a better friend, brother, band mate, online persona, and person in general. Buzzfeed said that 23 is the worst year in one’s twenties and to some extent, I agree. Well, it is pretty weird. You’re no longer as wild and free as you were when you were 22. You learn things about yourself, the people around you and life in general. Some realities are easier to swallow than others but you’ll have to take them all in just the same. I’d like to think that 23 is very much a transitional age.

In my case, I began setting my priorities straight. But this doesn’t mean I didn’t slip up several times. I’ve had more than a handful of instances wherein I put my immediate wants before my long-term needs. As much as I wanted to stick to my foresight, I couldn’t help but succumb. It happens. It really does - and it’s good to be aware of this reality.

Okay, so I find out that I really can’t do everything. I can’t take control of every aspect of my life. And that’s fine.

Well, that must be it - being more aware of things. Need vs want. Other people’s emotions and situations. Context. The elusive Truth. The bandwagon vs what’s right. Who you really are vs who you think people want to see. Plus infinity. The universe has thrown so many things at me and oftentimes, I find myself struggling to make sense of it all. It gets overwhelming.

Still, I’m in a good place. I’m really thankful for everything and everyone who made my 2013 memorable, pleasant, hell, crazy, musical, stressful, inspiring, hilarious, depressing, and so on and so forth.

I’d like to think that, overall, I’ve made good progress as a human being. For better or for worse, 2013 taught me valuable lessons, some of which I have quickly picked up on and others I have yet to fully understand. Such is life, and I’m lucky to be alive and well.

I raise my glass to 2014.

[aafree]

The band and I have been experimenting with our live format, lately. Nowadays, we're gigging with a session keyboardist as I play guitar and go freehand. Honestly, the change is welcome. I no longer have to be stationary while performing, which is a relief because I feel severely limited in terms of movement while playing keys. It also helps that I legit get to rock out with a guitar. The muscle movements are kinda new to me.

I have long learned the value of interacting with audiences during gigs so I take advantage of my freehand mode to approach the crowd, shake a hand or two, and conduct the transient choir-slash-audience as they sing along. I think I accomplished this very well during our set in Assumption Antipolo. Looking forward to our next gigs.

I refuse to be confined to a single musical instrument. I'm a musician and hell, I will play whatever instrument I want. I'm not saying I'm abandoning the piano. That thing has a special place in my heart. All I'm saying is that it doesn't hurt to have variety. In fact, it spices things up and keeps 'em fresh.

It's liberating, really.

[aafree]

House on Fire

Dreamt that a winged dragon was frying my house as revenge for my finding (read: stealing) its egg when I stumbled upon it (figuratively) somewhere in a city I inexplicably assumed to be Makati. What the hell was I doing, roaming around "Makati?" I leave that to my suspension of disbelief. None of us in the neighbourhood could do anything but watch and run. Obviously, I woke up befuddled.

My one regret in the dream is that there was no Emilia Clarke to flirt with.

[aafree]

Weather or Not

If you think you know the weather, take a shot. You automatically relinquish your right to the last laugh. I had to bring a hoodie as I went out today, thanks to the cloudy sky. What really sucks is the temperature's dissonance with the dimness. Essentially, I looked like a fool dragging along a hoodie on a relatively warm day. As I write this, it still hasn't rained.

It's been said before, but our weather's one less thing we can be sure of nowadays. Next thing you know, we discover that the moon is actually a spaceship or a dock for space craft, monitoring the activity on our planet. That, and a certain population of creatures are actually controlling the weather and observing how we respond.

Yeah. I don't know where I'm going with this, either. Have a nice day.

[aafree]

Inner Space

If you've noticed, the direction of my writing has recently taken a turn from outer space and extraterrestrial life to glimpses of my private and personal reflections. In case you expected otherwise, sorry. Don't worry, my interest in the cosmos has not waned. I may just be going through a self-revelatory phase. I'm an introvert like that.

I won't go into detail about my ongoing discoveries about myself but I'd like to share some of what I've observed about human behaviour and thinking. Hopefully, this helps you in some way. Life is a journey at sea and the waters won't always be tranquil. Let's row away.

1. Human beings are pattern-seeking creatures. Even if there are no dots, we unknowingly draw connecting lines. This applies to the fluctuations in the stock market, predicting traffic situations or guessing other people's behaviour. We are suckers for causality so it helps to be wary as much as possible.

2. We like assigning meaning to things. We can't help but ask ourselves questions like "What is the purpose of my life?" or "What did that winking emoticon in her text message mean? (+ Does that mean she likes me?)" or "What's the significance of the absence of Voldemort's nose?"

We ask these questions because we are human/We are human because we ask these questions. Again, like patterns, we tend to arbitrarily assign significance to things that really don't mean anything. At times, this destructive habit gets in the way of our good judgment.

3. Over-thinking must be avoided like the plague. Points 1 and 2 contribute to over-thinking. I know that I, along with some friends, are guilty of this. Come to think of it, lots of us are into this type of self-hurt.

I've been told that I'm a dweller and I agree. I tend to excessively ponder over matters like what people tell me or what people think of me, etc. There are times when I can't even distract myself. Such thoughts can rob me of sleep. I interpret and re-interpret incidences and coincidences that potentially don't mean shit.

The reality of this is that 99% of the time, I end up more confused and screwed up than before I began thinking.

It's an evil cycle and lots of us have run in the hamster's wheel several times. Anyway, I'm just laying these things out for myself and for you. Hopefully this helps. Later.