another angry enby

He/him I write sometimes and like arguing with people (respectfully) Call me Gabriel (the Spanish version)

[aboxfullofghosts]

RULES FOR ARGUING

Both sides have to be respectful

We are arguing about opinion, not about your opinion on what I should do or my opinion on what you should do

We are not arguing about which side has the supreme truth, we are arguing about opinion

We should argue about things that can have two sides (opinions), so not about the idea of some people not deserving rights or anything along those lines

If someone gets mad or insults someone else on an argument, their words become invalid

Opinion is the key word here

We are just here to have fun :)

THINGS I WILL ARGUE ABOUT

Light opinions (what is the best movie out there? or something like that)

Heavier topics that still allow opinion (for example, what really is gender?) (the more informed you are on the topic, the better)

Just for the sake of arguing arguments (lets say I didn't believe this, how would you prove it to me?)

MY BIASES (we all have them)

I'm both queer and genderqueer

I'm Catholic

I was born and grew up in Argentina (if my English sucks, that might be why)

I believe politics should adapt for the better of most of the population

I'm against any type of discrimination (this should not have to be said)

I'm still learning and changing my point of view as I go, just like everyone else

Don't let these rules scare you! They are easier to follow than what they look like (I think). I'm always up for a good argument :)

[aboxfullofghosts]

Why does Tumblr say I need to "verify my account", and that until then it will be "temporarily restricted"? Is this normal? What does it mean? I need help.

[aboxfullofghosts]

If you have time to look for trans accounts, go to their asks/DMs, and harass them, I suggest trying to do something more productive with your life with all that time you're wasting

[aboxfullofghosts]

Why is there sexual content on my feed

Bring me back to the normal gay stuff

[stillhereandstillqueer]

Nonbinary people are so cool I wish our rights were taken seriously haha

[aboxfullofghosts]

I've been more of a boy than what I was ever a girl

When I was seven years old, I thought my voice sounded more masculine than feminine. I told my parents, who told me my voice was that of a girl

When I was eight years old, I learnt a new word, "boyish". I told my dad I thought I was boyish, since I had two brothers I played with all the time. He told me I liked art too much not to be a girl

When I was ten, I began to wonder how it might feel like to be born a man, to have a flat chest, short hair, to run around and never really argue with your friends. I would love that, if I was not born a girl

When I was thirteen, I found out that more queer identities other than gay and lesbian existed. I thought I might be agender. After all, I never really felt connected with being a girl

I wondered, I question, and it made so much sense, but when I asked an adult, year after year, I would get the same answer: "you are a girl"

I was a girl

I needed to be a girl

How would my parents love me if I wasn't born a girl?

How would my church accept me if I wasn't born a girl?

How could I live with myself if I wasn't born a girl?

Yet, I was always the kid in the dress, but never a little girl

I lived like a little girl, and I never fit as a little girl

Deep down, I always knew, but what will I be if I'm not a girl?

Deep down, I always knew there was more to me than being a girl

[aboxfullofghosts]

I was told "parents don't want their children to be gay because gay people suffer" so I guess there is a weird type of homophobia (more accurately self gaslight of your child not being queer) that is based on the fact that you don't want your child to die

That's odd but weirdly poetic

[aboxfullofghosts]

I was writing the tags for my last post and WHAT DO YOU MEAN "I NEED TO BE 🍇ED" IS A TAG WHO TF USED THAT

[aboxfullofghosts]

The homosexual urge to study literature should be studied

[sandmandaddy69]

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

[ferret-on-pancakes]

[its-your-mind]

[miteistic]

[nick-nonya]

[cleanedupcorporationprogress]

[boothyghost]

[all-save-challenge]

I love this post especially the rat part

going on me feed

[trolleybusaberrations]

what do you mean there are exactly zero rats i. this post

[bingle-official]

[primordialsoupvendor]

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

[definitely-not-a-plant]

[spectroacha]

DOES IT NOT STOP

[aboxfullofghosts]

[berensreverie]

What I want for Pride Month

[aboxfullofghosts]

Happy pride month!

I've been told Tumblr is safe now Time to test that on my own

[aboxfullofghosts]

What truly makes a man?

We can say that a man is anyone who identifies as one, and that's cool for me, but what do you think makes a man? What are the traits that make a man?

[river-grunfeld]

Being male, as a male that is my only qualifier for being a man(adult human male).

[aboxfullofghosts]

To clarify, according to your judgement, you would consider anyone born male a man, no matter their dressing habits, actions, etc.

There is nothing you socially expect from a man, and accordingly, a man is allowed to do whatever he wants and still be a man as long as he is male.

Correct?

[river-grunfeld]

Yes

[aboxfullofghosts]

I appreciate your respect for the freedom of men to act as they desire to I personally don't agree with your opinion, but I'll respect it

[river-grunfeld]

You don't respect men acting as they desire, wow.

[aboxfullofghosts]

I'll clarify, I agree with men doing whatever they desire as long as it doesn't harm others, and I think we shouldn't force men to follow standards or gender roles. I think we all agree on that.

I'll have to disagree in men having to be male to be men, but I believe both of us can respect each others opinion on the matter and have a civilized conversation.

[river-grunfeld]

Here's the thing though, that's how words work. A man is literally just an adult human male, that's it.

There's no level of identifying that makes that not true. And to be clear, I also support the inverse. You as a female have the rights to act, be, dress however you feel more comfortable that's totally okay.

But lying to me, and lying to yourself about your sex does no one any good.

[originalitysquared]

OP is suggesting that if you act a certain way you can be a man and can't even recognize how backward and regressive "man actions make you a man" actually is.

[aboxfullofghosts]

Nobody in this conversation suggested "man actions" make you a man. I think all people who are part of this conversation so far agree that a man can do anything he wants to do and still be a man.

If that's not what you are talking about, then I am confused.

[originalitysquared]

"I'll have to disagree that men having to be male to be men"

So if males are not inherently men, they must perform an action to be men.

Because you agree that anyone can act however they want, I assume you are neck deep in identity politics. Identifying with masculinity is also an action.

[aboxfullofghosts]

If stating yourself as a man is an action, then yes, it is an action that you have to do, just as stating your name or age or anything else about yourself. To be clear on what I am talking about, I do not believe that a man should "prove" himself a man through any "manly" action, if those even exist.

I believe that people can do what they want because it is a human right to have freedom as long as you are not harming others.

Feel free to disagree with any of my points. We can have different opinions.

[originalitysquared]

I can state my age, but that doesn't change it. I can lie and say I'm a different age that I actually identify with, that doesn't change how many years I've been on this Earth.

The only benchmark to being a man is being male. Only humans born male are men. No action necessary. Males are men.

I don't need your permission to disagree with you, I'm already explaining how backwards your logic is.

[aboxfullofghosts]

I've been repeating the same points a lot in several other conversations, so if you are truly interested in my opinion, you can see those. Assuming you are not, I will say that I believe gender is a social construct, and sex is not, so gender can change and sex can't. That is my personal belief.

I also believe that between making someone feel comfortable by doing something as simple as referring to them by different pronouns is better than making someone uncomfortable by calling them things that make them feel sick.

I won't expect you to understand how it feels like to be in that situation, but I will expect you to respect my opinion like I respect yours.

My logic doesn't have to make sense to you, because it is not yours, and I am not trying to convince you to think like me. My logic makes sense to me. Your logic makes sense to you. We both shared our opinions, and we disagree. It is as simple as that.

If you don't want to talk to me, just don't. My opinion won't change, and neither will yours.

[originalitysquared]

I don't respect your position at all because it is backwards and sexist.

Identifying as a sex is not possible because sex is a physical reality. All anyone can identify with is gender, which is regressive and sexist.

A person can't identify with having a penis. They either have one or they don't. What these people find comfort in identifying with is gender.

Body dysphoria is a mental condition, if you genuinely think your body doesn't match the way you think it should, that is something that should be rectified with body neutrality. Not placated with gender.

[aboxfullofghosts]

Gender on itself is not sexist. For example, a woman just existing and being a woman is not sexist. It would be sexist if you expected a woman to do certain things because she is a woman. Same with men.

I think that this conversation will go in circles forever because we simply do not agree, so I think it is better for everyone to just end it. I could keep stating my points forever, but I don't have enough time for that.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on my question.

[aboxfullofghosts]

What truly makes a man?

We can say that a man is anyone who identifies as one, and that's cool for me, but what do you think makes a man? What are the traits that make a man?

[river-grunfeld]

Being male, as a male that is my only qualifier for being a man(adult human male).

[aboxfullofghosts]

To clarify, according to your judgement, you would consider anyone born male a man, no matter their dressing habits, actions, etc.

There is nothing you socially expect from a man, and accordingly, a man is allowed to do whatever he wants and still be a man as long as he is male.

Correct?

[river-grunfeld]

Yes

[aboxfullofghosts]

I appreciate your respect for the freedom of men to act as they desire to I personally don't agree with your opinion, but I'll respect it

[river-grunfeld]

You don't respect men acting as they desire, wow.

[aboxfullofghosts]

I'll clarify, I agree with men doing whatever they desire as long as it doesn't harm others, and I think we shouldn't force men to follow standards or gender roles. I think we all agree on that.

I'll have to disagree in men having to be male to be men, but I believe both of us can respect each others opinion on the matter and have a civilized conversation.

[river-grunfeld]

Here's the thing though, that's how words work. A man is literally just an adult human male, that's it.

There's no level of identifying that makes that not true. And to be clear, I also support the inverse. You as a female have the rights to act, be, dress however you feel more comfortable that's totally okay.

But lying to me, and lying to yourself about your sex does no one any good.

[originalitysquared]

OP is suggesting that if you act a certain way you can be a man and can't even recognize how backward and regressive "man actions make you a man" actually is.

[aboxfullofghosts]

Nobody in this conversation suggested "man actions" make you a man. I think all people who are part of this conversation so far agree that a man can do anything he wants to do and still be a man.

If that's not what you are talking about, then I am confused.

[originalitysquared]

"I'll have to disagree that men having to be male to be men"

So if males are not inherently men, they must perform an action to be men.

Because you agree that anyone can act however they want, I assume you are neck deep in identity politics. Identifying with masculinity is also an action.

[aboxfullofghosts]

If stating yourself as a man is an action, then yes, it is an action that you have to do, just as stating your name or age or anything else about yourself. To be clear on what I am talking about, I do not believe that a man should "prove" himself a man through any "manly" action, if those even exist.

I believe that people can do what they want because it is a human right to have freedom as long as you are not harming others.

Feel free to disagree with any of my points. We can have different opinions.

[originalitysquared]

I can state my age, but that doesn't change it. I can lie and say I'm a different age that I actually identify with, that doesn't change how many years I've been on this Earth.

The only benchmark to being a man is being male. Only humans born male are men. No action necessary. Males are men.

I don't need your permission to disagree with you, I'm already explaining how backwards your logic is.

[aboxfullofghosts]

I've been repeating the same points a lot in several other conversations, so if you are truly interested in my opinion, you can see those. Assuming you are not, I will say that I believe gender is a social construct, and sex is not, so gender can change and sex can't. That is my personal belief.

I also believe that between making someone feel comfortable by doing something as simple as referring to them by different pronouns is better than making someone uncomfortable by calling them things that make them feel sick.

I won't expect you to understand how it feels like to be in that situation, but I will expect you to respect my opinion like I respect yours.

My logic doesn't have to make sense to you, because it is not yours, and I am not trying to convince you to think like me. My logic makes sense to me. Your logic makes sense to you. We both shared our opinions, and we disagree. It is as simple as that.

If you don't want to talk to me, just don't. My opinion won't change, and neither will yours.

[aboxfullofghosts]

What truly makes a man?

We can say that a man is anyone who identifies as one, and that's cool for me, but what do you think makes a man? What are the traits that make a man?

[river-grunfeld]

Being male, as a male that is my only qualifier for being a man(adult human male).

[aboxfullofghosts]

To clarify, according to your judgement, you would consider anyone born male a man, no matter their dressing habits, actions, etc.

There is nothing you socially expect from a man, and accordingly, a man is allowed to do whatever he wants and still be a man as long as he is male.

Correct?

[river-grunfeld]

Yes

[aboxfullofghosts]

I appreciate your respect for the freedom of men to act as they desire to I personally don't agree with your opinion, but I'll respect it

[river-grunfeld]

You don't respect men acting as they desire, wow.

[aboxfullofghosts]

I'll clarify, I agree with men doing whatever they desire as long as it doesn't harm others, and I think we shouldn't force men to follow standards or gender roles. I think we all agree on that.

I'll have to disagree in men having to be male to be men, but I believe both of us can respect each others opinion on the matter and have a civilized conversation.

[river-grunfeld]

Here's the thing though, that's how words work. A man is literally just an adult human male, that's it.

There's no level of identifying that makes that not true. And to be clear, I also support the inverse. You as a female have the rights to act, be, dress however you feel more comfortable that's totally okay.

But lying to me, and lying to yourself about your sex does no one any good.

[originalitysquared]

OP is suggesting that if you act a certain way you can be a man and can't even recognize how backward and regressive "man actions make you a man" actually is.

[aboxfullofghosts]

Nobody in this conversation suggested "man actions" make you a man. I think all people who are part of this conversation so far agree that a man can do anything he wants to do and still be a man.

If that's not what you are talking about, then I am confused.

[originalitysquared]

"I'll have to disagree that men having to be male to be men"

So if males are not inherently men, they must perform an action to be men.

Because you agree that anyone can act however they want, I assume you are neck deep in identity politics. Identifying with masculinity is also an action.

[aboxfullofghosts]

If stating yourself as a man is an action, then yes, it is an action that you have to do, just as stating your name or age or anything else about yourself. To be clear on what I am talking about, I do not believe that a man should "prove" himself a man through any "manly" action, if those even exist.

I believe that people can do what they want because it is a human right to have freedom as long as you are not harming others.

Feel free to disagree with any of my points. We can have different opinions.

[aboxfullofghosts]

What truly makes a man?

We can say that a man is anyone who identifies as one, and that's cool for me, but what do you think makes a man? What are the traits that make a man?

[river-grunfeld]

Being male, as a male that is my only qualifier for being a man(adult human male).

[aboxfullofghosts]

To clarify, according to your judgement, you would consider anyone born male a man, no matter their dressing habits, actions, etc.

There is nothing you socially expect from a man, and accordingly, a man is allowed to do whatever he wants and still be a man as long as he is male.

Correct?

[river-grunfeld]

Yes

[aboxfullofghosts]

I appreciate your respect for the freedom of men to act as they desire to I personally don't agree with your opinion, but I'll respect it

[river-grunfeld]

You don't respect men acting as they desire, wow.

[aboxfullofghosts]

I'll clarify, I agree with men doing whatever they desire as long as it doesn't harm others, and I think we shouldn't force men to follow standards or gender roles. I think we all agree on that.

I'll have to disagree in men having to be male to be men, but I believe both of us can respect each others opinion on the matter and have a civilized conversation.

[river-grunfeld]

Here's the thing though, that's how words work. A man is literally just an adult human male, that's it.

There's no level of identifying that makes that not true. And to be clear, I also support the inverse. You as a female have the rights to act, be, dress however you feel more comfortable that's totally okay.

But lying to me, and lying to yourself about your sex does no one any good.

[originalitysquared]

OP is suggesting that if you act a certain way you can be a man and can't even recognize how backward and regressive "man actions make you a man" actually is.

[aboxfullofghosts]

Nobody in this conversation suggested "man actions" make you a man. I think all people who are part of this conversation so far agree that a man can do anything he wants to do and still be a man.

If that's not what you are talking about, then I am confused.

[aboxfullofghosts]

What truly makes a man?

We can say that a man is anyone who identifies as one, and that's cool for me, but what do you think makes a man? What are the traits that make a man?

[river-grunfeld]

Being male, as a male that is my only qualifier for being a man(adult human male).

[aboxfullofghosts]

To clarify, according to your judgement, you would consider anyone born male a man, no matter their dressing habits, actions, etc.

There is nothing you socially expect from a man, and accordingly, a man is allowed to do whatever he wants and still be a man as long as he is male.

Correct?

[river-grunfeld]

Yes

[aboxfullofghosts]

I appreciate your respect for the freedom of men to act as they desire to I personally don't agree with your opinion, but I'll respect it

[meanevilwitch-deactivated202601]

So out of curiosity, at what point do you think a male is too feminine to be considered a man anymore?

[aboxfullofghosts]

Sorry for the confusion on my comment.

I believe there is no point a man is too feminine to not be a man anymore, but I do not agree that a man is solely a man because he was born a male.

[meanevilwitch-deactivated202601]

So what makes a man, a man then, if it's not simply the state of being an adult human male?

[aboxfullofghosts]

In my beliefs? Identifying as one.

In yours? Whatever you want.

I just think it is interesting how some propeller hold standards on what men or women should be.

[meanevilwitch-deactivated202601]

I don't believe men or women "should" be anything. To me they are just words to describe a material state of being like "bipedal". Bipedal isn't an identity, just a way that some bodies are. Humans are bipedal. Millipedes are not.

You say identifying as a man makes a person a man, but what are you identifying as? What does being a man actually mean to you?

[aboxfullofghosts]

I believe that to identify as something is to be addressed as something in order to avoid discomfort. Just as some people don't feel comfortable going by their first names, some people don't feel comfortably being addressed as their sex. I don't believe we should consciously make someone feel uncomfortable if we can avoid it.

For me, being a man is feeling comfortably being addressed as such. For others, it might be other things. We might not agree, and that makes sense because there are way too many people in this planet for everyone to think the same way. Like I said before, I don't come here to convince anyone to believe what I believe. Everyone can share their own opinions.

[meanevilwitch-deactivated202601]

I'm not trying to convince you of anything either. I'm only curious about the meaning of manhood to you. I am a desister who spent ten years identifying as transgender because of the dysphoria I felt/feel being female in a misogynistic society. (to vastly over simplify, females are seen as sex objects, I didn't want to be seen as a sex object, so I didn't want to be seen as female)

Trans politics were very different ten years ago compared to now and I like to hear what dysphoric females have to say about dysphoria now compared to then even if we disagree.

Ten years ago if I were to ask the average trans identified female what being a man ment to them a lot of them would say "wanting to be male" and then list a series of behaviors and activities typically seen as "unfeminine" that they desired to partake in and felt they never could while living as women. (wanting to, play rough sports, go into science, date other females, not wear makeup ect)

So it's curious to me what manhood means to someone who doesn't feel sex or gender has any baring on what kind of person they can be.

If males and females can be anything, why do you want to identify out of your sex category? If it's because of medical sex dysphoria what do you think causes that dysphoria?

[aboxfullofghosts]

In my personal experience, the feeling of being female sounds gross.

I have many female friends, I think women are amazing and beautiful and admirable, and I wish I was comfortable being a woman.

For me, my birth name, my sex, and my appearance became a burden. My name made me want to throw up and I became very unstable. I went as they/them for a while, and it felt better. Then I tried he, and it felt so much better. It makes me happy to be addressed as a guy. Even my self esteem improved.

Womanhood is beautiful, it just makes me sick to be a woman myself.

I don't want to talk too much about my personal life, and I don't know if what I'm saying even makes sense. I'm not a very masculine person at all, and I never was, it just feels more comfortable to be treated as a guy.

[meanevilwitch-deactivated202601]

Thank you for sharing with me.

In a lot of ways you sound a lot like me ten years ago. I remember the delight I used to feel when I'd be gendered as male, but those positive feelings were only ever temporary. The more I chased them the lower my lows became.

Finding the path to joy is not an easy one. Even now I still don't use my first name because it's a ptsd trigger for me. I personally don't think that hiding from our sex makes us happier in the long run and I would very strongly advise against medical transition for your own physical safety, I understand the desire to feel comfortable and safe.

I wish you health, happiness, and comfort. 🩷

[aboxfullofghosts]

Thanks for your concern and your respect, I deeply appreciate it.

Good luck in your own path towards happiness.