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@absterluggasaurus-blog
Homemade pizza and garlic bread for dinner tonight ... if I had more patience I would make my own bread a lot more, dough is so simple really. Not to mention really satisfying ... However. When you work in an artisan bakery and proper bread made with brilliant ingredients is at your fingertips ....
Devils pasta-red peppers and kidney beans in a rich tomato red wine sauce... served with a pizza tortilla wrap to make a spicy wholesome hearty feel good winter warmer... My own invention, probably should have had some salad or something to balance it out but hey! It's Friday night! Let's be spontaneous and dare to SKIP the greens!!! *sneaks off to scoff some fruit to appease the guilty conscience....
So decided to keep the bunches - in fact built a whole casual look around it. When the snow is falling and it's soup and jumpers weather, a little nod back to nostalgic memories of bunches and bobbles can be quite effective. Had a great fun testing some of the #lush make up products....
Kinda loving this cute messy bunches look... specially with my miss-match pjs and cosy hoodie... sorta sweet for my one and only day off ...
I am obsessed with these beautiful designs I just want my whole house to look this beautiful....
Happiness is ... singing my heart out to Disney tracks in my bedroom :p
Pretty in Pink! I have often quarrelled with myself on the opinion of wearing pink as a female ... When I was small I used to stick up my chin and wrinkle my nose claiming that pink is a girly colour and I'm not a girly girl ... it was almost as if to not wear pink was a statement in my young life. A statement of independence; independence from the boundaries set by evil adults who wanted boys to play with toy cars and girls with dolls... I simply adored my toy garage and nothing was going to stop me being a valiant knight in the garden. It's funny how something like this can stick with you, and to this day I really don't have much in my wardrobe that's pink at all. On my last shopping trip, I found myself debating why. As a woman, I actually look quite pretty in pink. With my dark hair and dark eyes, something seems to click. So why does something in my subconscious still scream out when I got to wear my new favourite jumper? It appears just as gender stereotypes can leave a lasting impression, defiance to these stereotypes can be just as impressionable.
My first Christmas in my own home.... decorating the tree for the first time, making he house cosy and happy and full of love and christmas cheer.... The preparations took over a month but only because I was so excited. For me it was like re-discovering a whole love for Christmas I never even knew I had. As soon as the childhood magic died away at age 14 (Tell the truth) at age 16 and a half.... I felt as though Christmas couldn’t possibly be as special until I had my own family with the tiny patter of tiny feet to make the magic real once again. However it turns out that the magic can start now, as my other half and I have already started our own little christmassy traditions and putting up a tree with decorations we have collected just felt so perfect. I can reflect now all the festivites are over with accute fondness for the season and the people I got to share it with, and is it so wrong that I am already looking forward to next year???
Am I old before my time?
Going to bed at 9pm, cuddling under blankets with cups of tea, enjoying long walks in the country side and spending a bit of time by myself... am I old before my time or simply really stylish and living and breathing the oh so popular ‘Hygee’ lifestyle??
I start tomorrow!
So tomorrow I start my new job after 4 months of searching. Yes it's a shop Job essentially with a bit of a cafe element but it is an Artisan bakery so that makes it a bit more fun. The people I get to work with are lovely, and it will earn me more than double what I was earning before. It's incredible how I already feel a lot better about myself just by knowing I'm going to be actually out working not sitting at home attempting to work and banging my head against a brick wall...
Chocolate making workshop- a messy few hours of chocolate fun!! Was lovely to meet some like minded people- and to sit with a couple very similar to ourselves. What I loved is that there were samples and marshmallows galore waiting on the table for us when we came in and not one of us dared to touch anything- brilliant British culture there waiting patiently for everybody else! Believe it or not I made chocolate truffles, enormous chocolate buttons, chocolate covered fudge and marshmallow mushrooms :p
Revelations
Recent events have forced me to re evaluate certain aspects of my life- and the really scary thing is everything I swore I would never get involved with again because of how it made me feel... have suddenly bounced back into my life. 1. Music I stopped playing my guitar, I stopped singing I stopped working with choirs and music groups and I left it all behind when I was told at 15 I wasn’t committed enough. I lost my place on a music scholarship program and I was devastated to be stripped of my lessons and have a passion ripped from me. However, through Air Cadet’s I have taken some baby steps to get involved with producing music down at the squadron. Last Monday I orchestrated 14 teenagers to play music using basic percussion instruments and their voice. I only spent 20 minutes working with them but I slipped back into my old ways very easily, and I was ecstatic with the results.
2. Performing A few shows at dance college and a falling out with a tutor were enough for me to associate performing with stress, upset and feeling pathetic. My confidence when performing as a child was never sky high but I was never nervous about going on stage. And certainly once I had my part regardless of what it was I never wished to change or not actually follow through with it. Being in the show two weeks ago with a friendly cast, a grateful director and a more than wonderful back stage crew I have been reminded why I ever wanted to be a dancer/dance teacher in the first place... 3. Watching theatre When I had all my problems with my knee and I had to stop all my dance training and strip it down to the bare minimum so I could still qualify. In short, this meant any form of creative or enjoyable dance was forbidden, and besides I didn’t have the energy of the pain threshold to press on and enjoy anything physical at that time. My coping mechanism after sitting and crying through the show all my class mates were in that I should have been a part of... was to shut it all off. I no longer spent my time enjoying dance shows, watching ballets going to London to see a musical... no more. It was all shut off as the pain I felt knowing I wasn’t strong enough to do what they were doing was unbearable. However, again since being in the show I have felt over whelming confidence form strangers telling my I did my part nicely... I didn’t need them to say I was good, I needed to hear that I could do it. Suddenly I get the same joy from watching the performances again, and I am eternally grateful. I left behind a large part of myself over the last few years because all my creative drive was gone. I focussed on my teaching, on my exams and essays. Buried my head in books and only danced what was necessary for the practical elements. To feel what it’s like to dance again, to embrace the music and to appreciate performances feels like a huge weight has been lifted, and I’m free to be me again. With new better, more supportive friends and peers.
Amen to this.
I met my boy in year 8, but we both ignored how we felt because we were teased and jeered at, neither of us wanted to break first. We saw other people, we were close with others, but something just wasn't quite right... And this is exactly what I wrote in my diary, the day I admitted to myself I still had feelings for him.
It’s funny that Sheldon hates gift-giving, and yet he can come up with the most incredible and thoughtful gifts for Amy.
Not far different from my boy x
The Magic Faraway Tree
When I was 7 and he told me that this was Enid Bylton’s Magic Faraway tree, and someday when I was bigger if I climbed up I would find Moonface and Silky and the dear Saucepan man... I couldn't wait to grow up and give it a try. Now, as I sit under the tree waiting for him to come home, knowing full well their time is growing short, I wish nothing more than to be as that excited 7 year old, listening to his stories. They say friends are the family we choose for ourselves. To me, they are closer than that, and nothing drives that home more than when I sit looking up at this beautiful tree.
Taking myself for a hot chocolate.
Going out and eating alone can be seen as such an aintisocial ‘lonely’ or 'sad’ past-time. The truth is, I think it’s a very internally rewarding experience. Not only do you purchase food and drink for you and you only, you have time to reflect as you enjoy your beverage. You don’t need to make conversation, don’t need to remember any social conventions it’s just you and your coffee. I find myself people watching- listening into conversations that make me think about my own life. And above all its an immensely calm experience just to sit and sip a hot sweet drink with no interruptions or distractions …
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This has made me think this morning. Especially the final quote- We blame society, but we are society. True happiness cannot be defined by fame, money or even success. It is something far deeper than that. And that’s something I want to explore.
