>:)

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

it cracks me up to see a baby who doesn’t have object permanence… i personally am aware that objects are permanent

[thatcatblog]

Loaf Art

[jesuismurphy]

Imagine going to the Oracle at Delphi and it’s one of those days where her brain’s overshot the immediate future so all she’s doing is spouting no context memes.

[jesuismurphy]

Some Greek statesman: Great Oracle, will my city survive the attack from the Phoenicians?

Oracle, starring at the wall: They did surgery on a grape

[jesuismurphy]

Some poor fuck that’s traveled on foot for five days to get there: Might Oracle, how can I save my family from destitution?

Oracle, face down on the tile: To the left, take it back now y'all

[belladonna-lavender]

This is quite possibly the funniest thing in existence

[the-worm-man]

Person that had to sacrifice everything to get here: Great and Wise Oracle, what is the reason for my wife’s disappearance?

Oracle, T-posing: This is so sad Alexa play despacito

[wheeloffortune-design]

ok but let’s say she says all the words in ancient greek that makes it “alexa play slowly” and there’s probably a poor girl named Alexa in the corner who’s playing the harp and she exhanges a look with the client and just. plays. sloooooowly.

[catchymemes]

Imagine knowing Beyonce could’ve been your mother

[aari3]

[recentgooglesearches]

delete thoughts

[windspro-deactivated20130728]

[2000ish]

too bad not a single one of them got their mother’s eyes

[greelin]

*feels nothing* mmm, don’t like that *feels something but like, too much* mmm not a fan of that either

[ear]

[lieutenantfish]

[gorditaputa-deactivated20160607]

[switchbladesounds-deactivated20]

Jay Pharaoh’s John Mulaney impression

[butchmachine]

Holy shit

[thetaxidermy-ofyouandme]

That wasn’t an impression John Mulaney possessed him

[funnystories]

funny story

when I was little, I would go on Nickelodeon.com all the time and they had this game similar to club penguin except it was called Nicktropolis. and if you forgot your password, a security question you could choose was “what is your eye color?” and if you got it right it’d tell you your password. so I would go to popular locations in Nicktropolis and write down random usernames who were also in those areas, and then i would log out and type in the username as if it were my own and see which of these usernames had a security question set to “what is your eye color?” (which was most of them, since it was easy and we were all kids). i would then try either brown, blue, or green, and always get in, then I would go to their house and send all of their furniture and decorations to my own account’s. and if it I didn’t want it, i could sell it for money

[khanos-deactivated20170219]

I love robbery and fraud

[pupu-platter]

[matthejew-blog]

[justbadpuns]

Why do people with foot fetishes never win? Because they like the taste of defeat

[junkazama]

[megurashkarchived]

i am so gentle and kind hearted

[megurashkarchived]

and stupid

[jumex]

lets all drop tumblr right now migrate to linkedin and get this money

[samstarium]

so this guy at school has a 3d printer and he’s been secretly selling these

kirbies with legs

and i got mine today

here’s the handmade package

i open it and

oh