The Eternal Alchemy wants you to Stop

HI, I'm Mimi, and I'm here for all aspecs. Using this persona to protect myself. Not kin. Not cishet. No genital assumptions. No AGAB language unless otherwise stated. Mentally ill, Autistic, CSA and Abuse Survivor. White. Not a native speaker. Not able bodied.

[sea-chief]

[ID: a photo of a post from tumblr user @eboymyers that reads “newsflash asexuals but “aspec” is a term for autistic people and not wanting to fuck isn’t a sexuality”

End ID]

Now usually I would reblog but it seems I was blocked or something but uh...

Searching OP’s blog for the word ‘autistic’ only shows this post. Seems like performative allyship to me :)

[disk--horse]

Didn’t we fucking cover this in 2016? I have asked both of my therapists that I’ve had, both of which specialize in autistic people, and they’ve never even HEARD of the term, let alone the use of it in reference to autism. What in the goddamn hell are allistics on?

[acesura]

cant believe we crackin open that can of worms again....

I THE SUPREME AUTUSTIC AUTHORITY confirm that aspec has always and will always belong to the ace/arospec community.

allistics dont clown on this topic, youre being gross

[stargulch-archive]

why aren’t aces allowed to have fun w their identity without being made fun of

[stargulch-archive]

i thought i was done w this but i’m actually annoyed now? you guys preach that “cringe culture” is dead but then when asexuals make jokes meant for them/other aces, you guys act like that was never a statement y’all made???

every other orientation is allowed to joke like that but tbh it seems like as soon as aces make their own jokes and funny comments about themselves and their community, you guys suddenly drop what you do to be like “lmao look at this guy”. it’s really upsetting, especially when the jokes are harmless (and most of the time the harmful ones are obviously trolls or kids who don’t know better) and silly you all literally shit over yourselves to make fun of people who are just… celebrating their orientation.

this isn’t about inclusion/exclusion anymore, it’s just you guys being assholes.

[thehumorousace]

Popping in to warn y'all about Rebelblaze/Sleepdontvisit (the same person) they’re a huge aphobe and exclusionist AND they’re sealioning people, especially aces and aros until they either break down or block them, so block them in the first place. I wouldn’t want any of you to fall victim to their sealioning

(I unfortunately had the displeasure to talk to them personally so take it from me, I blocked them because I grew tired of their bs)

- Mod Paula

[ellie-elizabeth21]

I’m Going to Be Evicted

Yesterday my landlord verbally came and told me that he is going to evict me because of noise complaints. It all started a few nights ago. I was afraid for my safety when my abusive ex-boyfriend showed up at my place and we got into a fight. The neighbours ended up calling the police and complaining to my landlord about the noise. I am disabled so it’s extremely difficult to survive at a shelter. They don’t provide personal support workers to help with activities of daily living.

If you could help me out that would be amazing, I desperately need to find a new place. Even if I can convince him not to evict me, I want to move as my abusive ex now knows where I live. I feel my safety is in jeopardy. Thanks.

I’m aiming to collect $550 for first and last months rent in a rooming house in the area. I have money left over from my last donation post so I’m using that towards a new place.

Pay Ellie Elizabeth using PayPal.Me

Go to paypal.me/elizabethellie and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

[speeedylesbian]

Choose you’re fighter discourser:

“this ace person said they were raped by a partner for their asexuality but tbh it wasn’t bc of that, I know more about it than they do.”

“ace people who have had sex are all rape victims without exception bc aces can’t ever really consent.”

“ace people who have sex think they’re more pure than non-ace people who have dirty non-ace sex.”

“uuuuuuh aceys no fuckey lol. turbo virgins”

[mad-dyspunktional]

The discourse should have been over as soon as exclusionists decided that being at a significantly increased risk of rape due to your orientation was suddenly no longer an indicator of oppression.

[rainbowprimarina]

as a hypersexual autistic person, can we please remove the stupid stereotype that all autistic people are ace? thanks. not saying that autistic people cant be ace, there are plenty of autistic ace ppl and they’re valid too but… im talking about how every autistic person is viewed as ace automatically like we suddenly just dont have a sex drive. its annoying.

[metapianycist]

so the word you’re looking for is desexualized, not ace. when autistic people are presumed nonsexual by default, autistic asexual people do not have their sexual agency any more respected than non-asexual autistic people’s.

[autistic-crows]

Yeah, the difference is that autistic asexuals are, well, asexual, and society’s view of desexualised autistic people works on the assumption that autistics are incapable of sexual attraction and/or sex drive. Autistic aces aren’t represented by this stereotype because it delegitimises their identity as asexual, instead assuming that “of course you don’t want to have sex, you’re autistic!”

[disk--horse]

As an autistic a-spec person "a-spec" always was and is for asexual and aromantic people and you're allistic fuck off you're speaking over me

The term you’re confusing a-spec for is probably ASD

Autism Spectrum Disorder

Because, yes, autism is a spectrum

But it’s always been called the autism spectrum and literally no-one says “a-spec” to refer to the autism spectrum

Much like autism, asexuality and aromanticism are ALSO spectrums

So together they are “a-spec” and individually they are “ace-spec” and “aro-spec”

So fuck you

[thismachinekills]

as an autistic person who recently learned from my therapist that a-spec has been used to describe the autistic community since at least the 60s, shut up

[twink-privilege]

?????!! your therapist is lying to you!??? autism as a spectrum has only been recognized clinically for four years???????!!!! it was only separated from schizophrenia in 1980????!!!!!

[notevenshitpostingcansaveyounow]

Hm. myes. my therapist, Dr. Realio Notamadeupnamelli.

[johncribati]

Anyone who reduces asexuality to “not wanting to fuck” is logically reducing all other sexualities to “wanting to fuck” so write that down

[arrowmanticmage]

I haven’t seen alot about this immense flaw in Exclusionist rhetoric so I’m just gonna write;

Practically every exclusionist I’ve ever seen has suffered from a very nasty case of “omniscience”

Ya’ll literally think you know everything in the world.

Like how their favorite thing to claim is that “modern society is okay with a-specs, aphobia doesn’t exist” like

How do you… know??

Aren’t most of ya’ll LGBT?? You guys arent exactly a part of “Straight Society”

I find it hard to believe that you spend your free time going around and asking homophobic straight people their opinions on aros and aces.

Your viewpoint on this pretty much comes from “I personally haven’t witnessed or observed any anti-aspec actions in the small personal bubble I call my world”, which is the same ridiculous “if I don’t see it it’s not real” viewpoint that climate change deniers use.

And instead of being like “Wait a minute, I don’t know everything, it’s entirely possible that Aphobia is far far more common than I believe it is, the fact that aces and aros aren’t being hunted down like animals right in front of me doesn’t actually mean anything”, Ya’ll went and found a bunch of people with the same viewpoint and went “Oh well, herd mentality, if we all think the same, we must be right!”

And then it’s like, what do you base this “no oppression” thing on?? Did ya’ll just google “what laws oppress aceys” and when you got nothing, started screaming that Aphobia isn’t real??

Or is it that you aren’t seeing articles about violence against a-spec’s? Because every time a minority member gets attacked, they report it, straight away, and it always gets published in a big news story!! #Sarcasm

And then because of these preconceived notions, your bias allows you to reject every personal story about aphobia that crosses your dash.

I’ve literally told an Exclusionist that my partner, who is gay and trans, was physically assaulted for being Ace, and they went “Are you SURE it wasn’t because they were gay and trans?”

Like ?????? Yes I’m fucking sure???

Holy shit.

[colon-backslash]

Exclusionists are abuse apologists, no two ways about it. I don’t like to throw around “apologist” willynilly, but if someone is part of a movement whose mission statement is to shut down and silence abuse victims while also fighting tooth and nail to make sure their systemic abuse is never brought up, and thus can never be fixed, that’s abuse apologism. Inherently. Every single member of the exclusionist movement falls into that category. Both sides have bad apples but only one side is pro systemic abuse. 

[mad-dyspunktional]

And it's upsetting because exclusionists will call people liars about it meaning heterosexual + hete romantic because it wasn't specifically stated like ?? PEOPLE COULDNT FORSEE WE NEEDED TO?? And I'm just 100% done with cis using it like they aren't fucking half of it

Seriously, no one ever thought it would need to be specified lol. And yeah, I agree, cis people should honestly be banned from using cishets at all I’m sick of them talking like they’re oppressed by cishets. Like, you are not oppressed by other cis people, sit the fuck down.

[mad-dyspunktional]

“Most a-specs are cishet.” Debunked.

“Most exclusionists are a-spec themselves.” Debunked.

[misspunnypuns]

So this comic was something I volunteered to do for @michygeary. I don’t want anyone to start some kind of “flame war” or something over this because I know that can happen with the simplest of things. Anyways, the main idea is that Aces apparently are excluded from LGBT+ things because of…? I don’t know why. I guess because people don’t think they/we get the same discrimination as others? I think we should all just be one big happy family and go get ice-cream. That sounds like my kind of night. (TBH as I was finishing this I was falling asleep because I’ve been awake since one am because of a storm It’s like seven forty five.)

[notevenshitpostingcansaveyounow]

im so glad brave and valiant exclusionists like sourpunchgay, laundrypods and discoursezilla are making sure the lgbt community is safe from those nasty aces

[yifffcourse]

and sobercommunist

[hammerhead918]

Let’s not forget the wonderful aphobicsappho who gaslighted my conversion story because part of my identity was ace.

[pastelcourse]

And baconcourse, who insists that all inclusionists are pedophiles.

[idiscourse]

Never forget aphobelesbianopinions who thought ace lesbians are privileged over allo lesbians. 

Or leftbians the sex offender.

Or acephobiaisajoke who thinks all aces are abusive.

[disk--horse]

Or aphobicalloagender, who, after suicide baiting multiple people, posted porn in the positivity tag! 

[acesura]

Someone on the arospec: *talking about queerplatonic relationships*

Some fucko whose not aro and doesnt experience queerplatonic attraction and think they have the right to an opinion on the matter: you mean FRIENDSHIP???

[grimm-fairy]

Ace Pride is for everyone. Don’t forget that.

Reblog or repost, I don’t care. Just remember, it’s all of us or none of us.

[aphobehatingcharacteroftheday-d]

i'm so happy with the inclusionists that we have and all the a-spec allies but i hardly ever see any inclusionists that are minors and i wish there were more. it seems there are a lot of exclusionist minors and it makes me fear for the future of the community sometimes. the kids will grow up with these sort of views and... it'll ruin the lgbt+ community in a way...

I also think it’s a disturbing trend that most exclusionists are younger than inclusionists. That kind of shows you that exclusionism of aspecs is a relatively new thing, and that the older generations of LGBT+ people recognize what exclusionism really is.

You’ll have a 26 year old bi inclusionist saying “I don’t support aspec exclusionism because it’s far too much like bi exclusionism, which I experienced when I was first coming out. Our community wasn’t built on shared experiences dealing with homophobia and transphobia–even lesbians, bisexuals, and trans people have all had their struggles with trying to be included and get a letter in the acronym. Aspecs are no different.”

And then you’ll have a 15 year old exclusionist tell them that they’re wrong because of a post they read on tumblr.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m 16. I’m by no means an LGBT+ veteran. But that’s a trend I’ve noticed, and one of the reasons I feel so strongly about allying myself with the inclusionist side. Like… I obviously don’t know everything about queer history. I want to learn from those who do, from those who have experienced it. I feel like it’s important.

I just really hope my fellow LGBT+ minors on the exclusionist side can realize this soon, too. For the sake of our future, like you said.

–Mod Mercy

[allopropaganda]

Minor inclusionists are relentlessly bullied and abused, and have had irl harm threatened to them, their inexperience in activism and newly emergence of their sexuality makes them vulnerable, whereas minor exclusionists have centuries of oppression, which requires no thought and introspection, to weaponize. They basically joined an already thriving army of asshats, which of course reenforce their bigotry.

[excalibelle]

At the same time, i feel like lots of them will come to the inclusionist as they mature and gain experience as well, especially those with identities more frequently marginalized within the community itself (basically anyone who isn’t a cis, allo, perisex gay or lesbian). Once they start facing discrimination more, they’ll start to see how the rhetoric is all juat recycled by the same people, like excluding bi people because they have “straight passing privilege” and excluding ace/aro people because they have straight privilege because they don’t experience SGA (im not agreeing to those statements, those are just the common arguments). Hopefully they’ll start to see their own hypocrisy and realize they’re no different than those trying to gatekeep against bi/pan/poly or trans, genderqueer and intersex people. Also, if it helps, I’m not a minor but i only just recently turned 18 in december, and I’ve been an inclusionist since before i even knew there was discourse about it because it was just an obvious given thing to me that aces and aros would be included because there’s no legitimate, logical reason to exclude them.

[aphobes-heck-off]

Hi, “inclusionist” here and certified Old Person by tumblr standards (late 20s). I am here to tell you about why excalibelle is most likely right, because this discourse seems to be largely fueled by young teenagers, and can be seen as a consequence of adolescent ways of thinking. I am also a student of education, and let me tell you, studying adolescent development has helped me understand the discourse from a whole different perspective. Let me summarize an entire quarter’s worth of studies to bring you the relevant points to the discourse! As we know, the vast majority of “exclusionists” are teenagers, many of whom are minors. This is reflected in the perspectives they bring and the types of arguments and behaviors they exibit. I hope this information will provide a useful lens for viewing The Acecourse and understanding the “exclusionist” perspective as distinctly adolescent. Such a perspective is egocentric and fixated on defining rigid boundaries for categories of identity, as we can see if we explore some major ideas in adolescent development.

Erikson’s Stage Theory of Development- Adolescence as “identity vs. role confusion”: basically, adolescence is characterized by trying on different roles and identities to see what fits. my professor described this as “trying out possible selves in different contexts”. developmentally, the major questions a teenager is grappling with include who they are and where they belong, and figuring out how that is defined. hence aphobes’ fixation on rigidly defining categories of identity (who is or is not LGBTQIA+, and deciding who gets o use those terms)

adolescent egocentrism is the tendency of adolescents to take an egocentric view of the world. this leads to two related phenomenon: the adolescent’s fixation on an imaginary audience, which is exaggerated here on tumblr dot com thanks to the relative ease with which one can gain a large number of followers, and the personal fable or the tendency of the adolescent to feel that they are uniquely special (or uniquely troubled) and that everything is all about them. this is reflected in the belief that “ace discoursers” are “defending the community from the ~~~cishets~~~!!!” and truly believe they are doing Noble and Good Work by self-righteously excluding those they deem Insufficiently LGBTQ+. this tendency is also exhibited in “exclusionists” who make posts mocking aces so they can get validation from their buds, all on the basis of excluding members of an out-group. which…. hey, guess what? turns out that’s a form of relational aggression, which involves gossiping, backstabbing, and exclusion, and can be subtle and hard to detect. Relational aggression is behavior that, when performed en masse, absolutely constitutes bullying: 

As we can see here (link to the source via The Ophelia Project), the aggressive behavior exhibited by “exclusionists” absolutely qualifies as bullying. They often attack people en masse, exerting an imbalance of power over their targets by  flooding their inboxes with anon hate repeatedly. What’s most disturbing though is the realization that the kind of behavior lobbied against aces on this site qualifies as abuse, according to criteria #3 on this chart. When aphobes suicide bait aces, especially others minors, they are engaging in what is not only bullying, but outright abuse.

I will end this post by stating that I am by no means trying to claim that all teenagers/adolescents engage in this kind of behavior, or that all “exclusionists” are minors; rather, I am simply bringing an adolescent development lens to help understand why the arguments and behaviors exhibited by loud and aggressive aphobes are typical of adolescents, and often qualify as cyberbullying as I was taught to recognize it in my education classes.