acompilationoftruths.

Everything you need to know about life, sex, Starbucks and dick pics all through the eyes of one very fabulous gay man, with a glass of wine in one hand and a burger in the other.

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When my parents judge me for never having a date for anything

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When someone asks me what it's like being single on Valentines Day

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When my profs ask me anything in lecture

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Basically me in every situation

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When someone tries to insult me by calling me a slut

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When people ask me what I'm in school for

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When my friends ask me why I'm not studying for an exam

I'm like: 

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When I'm back on Tumblr after a 5 day hiatus

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The Olympic bandwagon

So I was watching the Olympics, the figure skating section-game-thing…. I don’t know the term I don’t watch sports… Something about people being athletic and me being lazy that makes me feel bad about myself… Anyway, something dawned on me that I’ve never really given much thought to before. I am Canadian. As simple as that is. When I was watching other teams perform I was overly critical (even by my bitchy standards) and then when the Canadians were on the ice I felt butterflies. Watching people compete for my country. Yes they get a gold medal and that’s nice for them. But no one says “oh 30 people won medals” it’s countries. We are a united people. I don’t know the people competing for Canada anymore than I know the people competing for France, but I’m proud of the Canadians competitors. I’m also pissed off a Canadian girl who has been here since she was six is competing for the Ukraine. She was trained here. She was raised here. She should compete for us. She is not a product of the Ukraine. This betrayal of my country that I feel is not rational (like most of my feelings) but I can’t help but not want her to do well, but if she competed for us I would. I have such an overwhelming sense of pride for my country and our people that I’ve never really noticed before. Something about being a part of something just gives you the chills, eh?

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When My friend shows up to my house with food or alcohol

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When my vegan friend makes me dinner

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Me and my friends watching the Olympics

When Canada is competing:

When it's any other country:

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Me when I have to walk the dog in the winter

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Stop trying to make Jaden Smith happen.

So I have an on demand free movie channel and After Earth is playing. So I caved in and watched it, thinking maybe it would exceed my expectations. NOPE. There's a reason it's free. I'm ten minutes in and this is one of the worst life choices I've made. And that's saying something. Jaden's voice is annoying and he's a terrible terrible actor. I'm not even a fan of Will Smith but at least he has some skill. He and his wife are arrogant and I dislike the whole family but forcing their talentless children down our throats ruining what could be an awesome movie is rude. Not cool smiths, not cool.

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What I have planned when I have 3 consecutive days off

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Me when I introduce myself at the bar

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When the party I'm at runs out of booze