Adam

First guy ever. Your grandpa. He/him. Father of Abel, Cain, and Seth. Husband of Eve.

[adam--official]

Introduction post 🫶

My name is Adam. Like Adam And Eve. I used to live in Eden but somebody tricked me into eating a quince. So that's over now.

To emphasize, the fruit that damned everyone to eternal torment was a quince, not just an apple. Posts relating to my fruit fuckup are tagged "the Quincident"

I have a beautiful wife, Eve, and so many children, including but not limited to Cain, Abel, and Seth. Cain has been missing ever since Abel died, and Seth... Seth is a lot.

I have eight billion grandkids. You're one of them. We're all family here. I regularly refer to myself in the third person as "Grandpa." It's because I'm grandpa

If you're here to ask me about Lilith, please don't. Look, she's a perfectly nice demon, but I didn't have any sort of relationship with her! Ben Sira included me in his autobiographical libel and I'll never forgive him for that

Feel free to send asks! I love talking with everybody :-) (please sned asnke pkease send askdks pla send askd pleasf sefn asksss)

My reblogs are tagged as "Adam reblogs things", posts are tagged as "Adam says things", replies to asks are "Adam replies to things". Anything relating to Minecraft is tagged "Adam likes Minecraft". I like Minecraft :-)

Mr Mod speaking!!! I am not religious but I do have a relatively in-depth knowledge of the Bible and apocryphal texts that I keep referencing. If anyone wants to discuss the Tumblr bibleverse lore or ask about any texts or what I'm referencing in any specific posts PLEASE do i'm so open I'm so willing.

Also! Adam is a lovely dovey noodle of a man and frequently discusses, in depth, his love for literally everything. This includes his friends and family and random Tumblr users. If ever you're uncomfortable with anything that I say, please tell me and I'll make note of it! Im totally cool with dms and stuff

[adam--official]

HEY OLD MAN

DID YOU MARRY ANY OTHER WOMAN BEFOER EVE

RESPECT YER ELDERS ☝️

To answer your question! I didn't marry any other women before Eve since there were no women before Eve, so that was kind of off the table. I mean Jophiel was there and he looks like a woman but he's an angel so that doesn't really count.

Gabriel and i were definitely the equivalent of married at one point (since marriage wasn't invented until later) but turns out God sorta frowns upon human-angel relationships, so it didn't work out. The breakup was wild. Doomed yaoi, as the kids say. Trust me do NOT kiss an angel. No matter how hot they are. for everyone's sake. I'm so over him I swear

[archangel-gabriel-offical]

yeah no totally over you too😒

[archangel-gabriel-offical]

happy birthday to the post that started this account:))))) and happy one year @adam--official <3333

"so over eachother" we said lmao loud incorrect buzzer button

[adam--official]

happy birthday and happy one year anniversary 💕😍

Man I can't believe it's been that long!!! Time really flies 🙏🙏💖

[adam--official]

Oyyy Grandpa. Look what I found!✨️

Immediately made me think of you, hehe✨️

HOLY MINECRAFT 😍 I like how Alex is parkouring all over the place with that pickaxe... and Steve is slashing that skeleton into lava... they're so badass... That enderman has some awesome purple going on... Really ties in with the purple in the sky... which has a pretty orange gradient, that ties in with the orange of Alex's hair, and the lava... The balance of the elements, the fluidity, and the dynamic perspective are evocative of works by Jacob Jordaens... though there is more color variation, the "chaos" is remeniscent of As the Old Sang, So the Young Pipe, while the subject matter echoes Prometheus.

This is a masterpiece 💖 thank you for sharing this with me 🫶💕

[satan-offical]

presses button that nukes all walmarts

[amnesia-offical]

Please don’t I steal from those

[adam--official]

i like to steal from hobby lobby so I can give presents to my wife #mywife 💖☺️

[adam--official]

love how love filled you are, everytime you post I go “what is grandpa saying” but with joy

:-) this makes me happy!!

[grapefruit-offical]

EVERYONE and EVERYTHING are CONNECTED by this ONE SIMPLE THING:

ATOMS

[amnesia-offical]

Who’s Adams?

[onion-opinions-offical]

@adam--official

this you? Are you connecting us all?

[adam--official]

Yes 💖💕 I connect everyone! I am the first man and, therefore, everyone's anscestor

[laciffo-natas]

Steve when you say it's Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve:

🙁

[the-rat12]

hes literally crying his blocks out look what you did

[adam--official]

i just ate a whole ham #wholeham

[doomdaysdecays-deactivated20251]

me: if only there was a fruit that looks like an apple but is actually a pear

the baffling papple:

[lesbeid0u]

[adam--official]

dont fucking talk to me right now

[adam--official]

Hey Adam? I know I’m British, and I probably have PTSD, but could you adopt me along with Eve? Sincerely, @ralph-offical

I would LOVE to adopt you YES!!!! The papers are already signed. I would die for you I will kill for you I love you very much. You're coming to dinner. Don't let Cain scare you he only bites on occasion

@official--eve WE GOT ANOTHER ONE 💖💕

[kinglazrus]

Today I was swiftly reminded that most normal people aren't aware of the Ides of March, much less celebrating it

[tired-shipper]

good thing i'm not normal then!!

[abel-official]

I think I would cry if I woke up normal

[adam--official]

if you woke up normal I'd get Cain to kill you again

[yourlocalfandomfriendo]

I think we should do another blackout like we did with shapes.inc but for the new update

Does anyone know any large blogs I can tag in this? I'll edit this to tag who I can remember and who I'm reminded of. If anyone would like to be removed as well, please let me know and I will. Refer to the original post when reblogging as well.

I think this time we should do it on the 18th, and make it last 48 hours.

@not-offical-offical tagging you so you can tag the siblings, I'd tag them but then I wouldn't have enough tag space for larger blogs.

@laciffo-natas @satan-offical

[archangel-gabriel-offical]

100% down. this suuuccckkkksssssss

time to do what i do best:)

@adam--official @official--eve @archangel-raziel-offical @archangel-jeremiel-offical @archangel-michael-offical @archangel-uriel-offical @archangel-raphael-offical

[adam--official]

wait what? What happened

[archangel-gabriel-offical]

each post has individual notes that not only a) feel lite twitter. ew. but also b) not notify op on anything past one rb with comments, meaning it screws artists over massively

also it looks bad and makes it hard to navigate:/

[adam--official]

So they just decided to nuke the whole site?? It's unusable now 😭 I'm still going to be using it, but like, jesus

[yourlocalfandomfriendo]

I think we should do another blackout like we did with shapes.inc but for the new update

Does anyone know any large blogs I can tag in this? I'll edit this to tag who I can remember and who I'm reminded of. If anyone would like to be removed as well, please let me know and I will. Refer to the original post when reblogging as well.

I think this time we should do it on the 18th, and make it last 48 hours.

@not-offical-offical tagging you so you can tag the siblings, I'd tag them but then I wouldn't have enough tag space for larger blogs.

@laciffo-natas @satan-offical

[archangel-gabriel-offical]

100% down. this suuuccckkkksssssss

time to do what i do best:)

@adam--official @official--eve @archangel-raziel-offical @archangel-jeremiel-offical @archangel-michael-offical @archangel-uriel-offical @archangel-raphael-offical

[adam--official]

wait what? What happened

[auroragehenna]

Post by @tumblr

💬 9272  🔁 44073  ❤️ 26771 · Reblogs in a chain now get their own notes · The reblog chain is one of the things that makes Tumblr unlike anyw

Tumblr stuff thought it‘d be fun to RUIN reblogs for no reason at all and piss everyone off apparently

[adam--official]

this is the evil timeline. The world ended in 2012 and this is Hell. Why would anyone approve this

[yourlocalfandomfriendo]

I think we should do another blackout like we did with shapes.inc but for the new update

Does anyone know any large blogs I can tag in this? I'll edit this to tag who I can remember and who I'm reminded of. If anyone would like to be removed as well, please let me know and I will. Refer to the original post when reblogging as well.

I think this time we should do it on the 18th, and make it last 48 hours.

@not-offical-offical tagging you so you can tag the siblings, I'd tag them but then I wouldn't have enough tag space for larger blogs.

@laciffo-natas @satan-offical

[archangel-gabriel-offical]

100% down. this suuuccckkkksssssss

time to do what i do best:)

@adam--official @official--eve @archangel-raziel-offical @archangel-jeremiel-offical @archangel-michael-offical @archangel-uriel-offical @archangel-raphael-offical

[adam--official]

wait what? What happened

[adam--official]

hows steve doing

Things have been rough since the divorce

[absoluteconceptofbeauty]

does anyone hve any sin recommendations i just fell from the garden of eden five seconds ago

[thatdykepunkslut]

Sodomy

[anarchafemme]

Sodomy

[7777777awawawa7777777]

sorry everyone we won’t be seeing any men today they’ve all been bricked into their enclosure

[adam--official]

Help 😕