Welcome @adancergirl - Tumblr Blog

Please Don’t Scroll!! Emergency!!

My name is Allison and I work FT as a librarian. I have been suffering from severe bacterial infections for four years. This is an invisible illness and limits my daily life. I have worked three jobs for the last three years and need help. My insurance refuses to cover life-saving treatment. If I don’t get treatment, these infections will end my life. Retweeting this post saves my life.

https://gofund.me/ac5eb9cb

Thank you!!

adancergirl

Dating Woes

Dating with a disability is beyond frustrating. I turn 29 in a few months. I have never been kissed nor had a serious relationship. It’s challenging for me to go to dating activities and I don’t drink. My roomie and I are trying dating apps for a month. I was chatting with this seemingly nice guy and he asked me out for brunch this weekend. Today, he told me no thanks! I don’t know what happened and it’s beyond frustrating. I was looking forward to brunch and at least have the courage to tell me why.

I just want to find my best friend and feel loved. What is so unappealing about me? I’m so beyond tired of being the second choice. I exchanged instagrams with another guy and he said no thanks. Just because I’m disabled doesn’t mean I’m unworthy of love. I grew up in a toxic household and was told repeatedly that I’m not worthy of love. No one wants a disabled girl. Dating truly sucks.

Sincerely,

A disabled girl who’s tired of ableism.

adancergirl

I’m 32 and the struggle continues! I got broken up with because I couldn’t go hiking.

adancergirl

Hailey Upton Discussion

Hailey Upton is an amazing character on Chicago PD. Tracy Spiridakos portrays Hailey and does an incredible job. Upton is a layered and complex character. Her being a female in a male dominated profession and being an abuse survivor is a rarity to see in television. Upton has her walls up and doesn’t let many people in. She bumps into the Intelligence Team and immediately bumps heads with Voight. Intelligence and Robbery Teams paths cross and she joins Intelligence soon after. I truly enjoyed Season 8 because it delved more into Hailey’s backstory and her family upbringing. Hailey grew up in an abusive and toxic family. Her dad is an alcoholic and abused her, her siblings, and her mom. She became a cop to help other kids and people escape from abusive families. Hailey’s abusive father is complex because he has two different personas. He’s the doting father to the world and the monster behind closed doors. Jay and Hailey’s relationship has grown and they are now in a romantic relationship. He’s trying to be supportive, but Hailey has her walls up. No one knows what it is like to be in an abusive family until you are in one.

I grew up in a toxic and abusive family. My dad is a covert narcissist. He’s the doting and loving deacon/dad at our church and a complete monster behind closed doors. Seeing my dad control every aspect of my life was normal to me. I thought everyone’s dad was like that. I was accustomed to not share any family “secrets” and to stay under the radar. I always tried to sense my dad’s emotions and always tried to make him happy. I didn’t even realize my dad’s behavior wasn’t normal until I got to college. My friends and roommates’ dads acted totally different and supported their kids unconditionally. The minute you disagreed or asked a question, you were belittled and ridiculed. I started sharing my thoughts about my dad with some friends and no one believed me. They would say “Your dad is so nice. Are you sure that’s him?” My dad had everyone fooled except for me.

Seeing Hailey Upton’s complicated character and her relationship with her family is refreshing. I have never seen a complicated or toxic family story arc in previous television shows. Hailey’s complex family trauma is nuanced and not black and white. My situation with my dad isn’t black or white. It’s complex and traumatic. When Jay assumes Hailey’s mom has divorced her dad, he is shocked to know that Hailey’s parents are still married. This is too often the case regarding abuse victims. Many victims are scared, brainwashed, or refuse to leave. They are used to the abuse and don’t see a way out. Seeing these nuanced and complex family dynamics in television is critical in helping others not feel alone. Seeing this story arc play out has been gratifying and comforting to me personally. Remember, you never know what someone is going through. Be kind.

vampire-lestats

#get you a girl who can do both

an--artistic--autistic

i am unreasonably proud and excited about this

andthentheywilleatthestars

2014 Tumblr wasn’t about whatever Tik Tok thinks it was about. 2014 Tumblr was about overanalyzing Captain America: The Winter Soldier and that one website that let you play Cards Against Humanity online

cy-cyborg

Please stop using disabilities you don't have as comparisons.

I saw a video trying to explain that autistic people don't make eye contact because it can be painful for them (good, this is true) and telling them to "just do it anyway" is ridiculous, saying "you wouldn't tell a wheelchair user to "just walk, its better for you" so don't tell autistic people to just make eye contact".

But people do. They do all the time. It's well documented that doctors will withhold their ok for patients to get a wheelchair (which is needed unless you're paying out of pocket, because insurance and most public disability services like the NDIS need proof from a doctor). I've known people who can hardly walk and are having to fight because the doctor still insists it better for them to walk, even if it's painful and sevearly limiting their quality of life.

Then in the comments, someone pointed out that people do say that to wheelchair users (good, this is true) but then continued on by saying "unless you just don't have legs" which is just as bad as the origonal.

I had to fight to get my first wheelchair as a double leg amputee, and every wheelchair since then I've had to justify not wanting the "better option" (prosthetics) to the government so they'll approve me for the funding. Doctors and even strangers too, all want to know why I'm not walking, why I'm not using prosthetics all the time. When I go on trips with my family I'm told to "just walk" so they don't have to pack my wheelchair. at my own graduation from university I was chastised by the organisers for not bringing my prosthetics (because wearing them was exceptionally painful back then and i hadnt worn them in nearly 3 months. I had asked before if this would be ok. they knew) because the venue was accessible but not the part of the venue the graduates were in. On the topic of university they also put my class in the only non-wheelchair accessible room and held meetings i was expected to take part in, in the non-accessible lunch room. When I complained, I was told to just use my legs for a few minutes so I could get into my classes. Being an amputee with no legs didn't shield me from these experiences either, it often made it worse.

I have all 3 of the disabilities mentioned (autistic, wheelchair user, amputee). If you don't have the disability you're using for a comparison, don't use it. Please

kanthcnys

SIMONE ASHLEY promo videos for Bridgerton S2 | S3

julibernardo

So, now when we know (thanks to Niylah) that Bellamy was reading Ovid’s “Metamorphoses” to Octavia when they were little and one of Ovid’s well known phrases from his other work is “Dum spíro, spéro”, which basically translates as “ While I breath, I hope”, how much do yall wanna bet, that in this moment

Bellamy was quoting Ovid’s at Clarke and trying to cheer her up in their own nerdy way?

I swear to god them nerding together gonna be the death of me.

sunshinejinx

season of the wallflower

pumpkinspicedmochi

Dear parents

Pretending that your kid isn't disabled and getting mad at them for needing more help and support than your other kids and wanting them to "try harder" and also pretend that THEY aren't disabled by ignoring their OWN needs as well doesn't make them less disabled by the way