I think one of the loneliest feelings in the world is trying to tell someone that you are struggling and immediately being handed solutions. Not because people are unkind, and not because they do not care, but because sometimes what you are looking for is not an answer. Sometimes you already know the answer. You already know what you should do, what coping skill you should try, what phone call you should make, what step comes next. The problem is not a lack of knowledge. The problem is that you are tired.
Tired people do not always need instructions. Sometimes they need understanding. Sometimes they need someone to look at everything they have been carrying and simply acknowledge that it is heavy. Sometimes they need someone to sit beside them and say, "That sounds really hard," instead of trying to turn their pain into a problem-solving exercise.
I think a lot of people spend so much time being resilient that they forget how desperately they want comfort. They become so used to handling things alone that when they finally admit they are struggling, what they secretly hope for is warmth. Reassurance. Gentleness. The feeling of not having to carry everything by themselves for a moment.
So if you have been wishing somebody would stop giving advice and just hold space for you, I hope you know there is nothing wrong with that. Wanting comfort does not mean you are weak. Wanting kindness does not mean you are incapable. It just means you are human.
I am sorry things have been so difficult. I am sorry you have been carrying so much. You do not have to justify your exhaustion or earn your right to be comforted. You deserve compassion simply because you are hurting, and sometimes a hug really is more helpful than a hundred solutions.
If you are reading this and thinking, "I do not need advice. I think I need a hug," then this is me offering one.
A big, warm, virtual hug.
The kind where nobody expects anything from you. The kind where you do not have to explain yourself or justify why you are struggling. The kind where you can just exist for a minute and let yourself be tired.
You do not have to earn comfort. You do not have to prove that things are bad enough. If you are hurting, you deserve kindness.
You are going to be okay.
