A Jumble Of Things

I like stuff. My main blog is devoted to my own original content, but I am giving in to the tumblr machine. I'm going reblog pretty things here. It's set up to run a long queue I made cleaning out my likes. No guarantees on consistency, coherency, or content. Occasionally nsfw.

[snorlaxatives]

i think one of the best parts about being a teenager in the early to mid 2010s was that cigarettes were definitely not cool anymore and vapes hadn’t popularized yet so my lungs made it out of my peak impressionable years relatively unscathed

[kaiyves-backup]

[afurioushawk]

[romanceyourdemons]

rip to the guy who posted his very expensive yixing teapot to r/tea, only for the comments to be not compliments on his taste as he expected, but instead GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY and I SHOULD CALL HER. he then crossposted it to r/gongfutea, which is ordinarily more dignified and self-serious, but was it? was it?? of course not, because this is reddit, and this was the teapot

[rlyehtaxidermist]

"Mario Mario" is an anachronism. He and his brother were only ever referred to by mononyms in their lifetime, like most residents of the Mushroom Kingdom at the time - multi-part names were typically reserved for members of the Toadstool dynasty, and even these were more like titles or Roman cognomina than what we would call a surname today. His putative ennoblement as founder of the "House of Mario" came centuries later as the collapsing feudal order sought additional sources of legitimacy

[prokopetz]

#mushroom kingdom folklore says that he sleeps beneath a warp pipe to arise in the time of the kingdom's greatest need #he's definitely shown up a few times but it's hard to tell if he has risen from the dead or is just in the middle of some time travel shit #historians hate him.

[rlyehtaxidermist]

While the historical evidence for Mario having a younger brother is quite concrete, the name of said brother is less certain. "Luigi" is generally held to originate with a separate figure from a series of chthonic myths, who originally served as a sort of psychopomp charged with capturing spirits that escaped the underworld. The strongest case for a contemporary figure named Luigi comes from the Waffle Kingdom sagas; however, this Luigi's brother is a gladiator named Gonzales.

[femmecelworld]

coolest thing about Interview with the Vampire is everyone is literally insane. I am using the word ‘literally’ correctly; Louis has hallucinations so vivid he can feel the air displaced by them, Claudia has a kind of dysphoria that would terrify a greek god, Armand is so deep in psychosis he changed the world around him to match his own reality, Daniel is such a narcissist he taunts two powerful vampires without fear after they nearly killed him—

then of course, Lestat living out every entry of the DSM V

and you still have people trying to argue over who the ‘real’ villain is. my sweet summer child, free your mind and pick your favorite war criminal

[whereintheworldisauniqueusername]

Every Guilty Gear Strive character asks themselves WWGD (What Would Goku Do) before they pull off a combo

[mr-deep-downer]

Load bearing goku

[diabolicalevil]

warhammer authors yearn for large, naked, transhuman men

I cannot stress enough this is page one

[curlicuecal]

[timefortigers]

hey everyone. so i've been playing the horse gacha game umamusume pretty derby. two things about umamusume are that at the end of every race the horses who won the race perform an idol concert, and that every horse girl has a ridiculous unaerodynamic vtuber outfit. and initially to me these were both things that are obviously silly but which you have to suspend your disbelief for because you can acknowledge the doylean reasons for having them. but actually they make perfect sense in universe.

umamusume textually have strength and speed that vastly exceeds that of any normal human. historically it would obviously have been massively impractical to apply the same gender role constraints to them that were applied to normal human women in many cultures. you need your horse women to both be allowed to go to war and want to go to war, and while obviously you do also want them to reproduce you don't want them to then spend years raising the kids, something normal humans can do, when they could be using their time on things normal humans can't do.

so i feel like in a lot of cultures there would be similar kinds of social developments to machismo but for horse women (horschismo) to incentivise their participation in physically dangerous activities, they would overall be subject to different social pressures and expectations from normal human women, and probably to varying extents they would often be considered a separate gender from human women.

however, like horses in real life, since the industrial revolution umamusume in industrialised countries have become an entertainment commodity when previously they would have been vital to labour and warfare. and being cute girls makes them more consumable as entertainment.

so obviously the idol shit is a deliberate 20th century invention to emphasise the girlness of horse girls, which both makes them more marketable and folds horse woman gender roles into the broader concept of "women" for everyone's social comfort. probably there is a lot of in universe scholarship on this and different umamusume have and have had a lot of different opinions about it. like i expect in the early 20th century there would have been plenty of umamusume who were totally hype to be able to be "normal girls"

now i'm being tongue in cheek here obviously. but also this IS the logical implication of the information presented in the franchise. if cygames didn't want me to come to these conclusions then they shouldn't keep showing us ancient egyptian depictions of bronze age horse girls and shit like that. hope you're having a wonderful day 🏇

[timefortigers]

i understand this post raises some questions about the role of umamusume in history. i'll answer some of the most pressing ones.

WERE UMAMUSUME IN WORLD WAR 1? i feel like the first world war would be one of the last times umamusume were involved in warfare in a capacity normal human women weren't, much like real life horses, because their superior leg strength wouldn't make much difference against tanks and machine guns. so they were there but their participation was in the process of being reduced and i think probably it was mostly talked about in the context of their help with getting wounded soldiers to safety and carrying supplies and stuff like that. there were horse girls in the trenches though. there were some horse girl fighter pilots. at least one horse girl war poet for sure

WHAT ABOUT THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE? that was all horse girls yeah

DID ALEXANDER THE GREAT BANG HORSE GIRL BUCEPHALUS? realistically one must imagine he did, right. like presumably they would have met as 13 year olds where bucephalus was a rude but very strong kid who was adamant that she wasn't going to join the army like horse girls were generally required to because she did what she wanted. but alexander managed to convince her with talk of the glory of battle, and after that she was his loyal subordinate and massacred thousands at his side. i think in a lot of historical cultures where umamusume were key to the military it would have been pretty common for them to sleep with their comrades and commanding officers but they wouldn't generally be viewed as a romantic prospect, or as competition with a man's legitimate wife. when they had children they would be raised by the family of their patron regardless of who the father was presumed to be - i don't think bucephalus or other umamusume in her society would have had many rights

WAS JOAN OF ARC A HORSE GIRL? logically no but let's be real here. the people in charge of umamusume pretty derby are absolutely champing at the bit (🙂) for an excuse to depict or mention umamusume joan of arc in some capacity, so like. it's a soft no. no but with the knowledge i will have to incorporate joan of arc being a horse girl into my worldview at some point in the future.

WHICH CHARACTERS FROM THE CHINESE CLASSIC SHUIHU ZHUAN/WATER MARGIN WERE HORSE GIRLS INSTEAD OF HUMAN MEN? li kui the black whirlwind

hope that helps!

[timefortigers]

she did ok but people still act like it's a joke

obviously yes. the real question tho is did he eat the gang's original umamusume porter. i think that might be a bit too grim for the tone of the original tho so instead i'm going to suggest that he tries to swallow tang sanzang but then realises who he is and has to spit him up. and then he offers to become an umamusume to carry his bags bc he's really sorry about it.

wrong!!

[timefortigers]

i've gotten a few reblogs with tags saying things like "obviously militaries wouldn't actually phase umamusume out completely though because surely their enhanced physical abilities would be too useful not to keep using them" and the thing is like. it's not solely about what's nakedly practical. that's kind of what this post was about in the first place. i wasn't proposing the 20th century umamusume girlification process as having happened solely to provide an alternate role for horse women after they were no longer necessary in warfare and labour -- I'm envisioning it as a means to actively push them out of those areas of life as soon as society felt able to accomplish these things without them. as soon as the patriarchy feels capable of making this stuff the sole purview of men then it's going to do it, and umamusume have to become women to accommodate that, and that's why they wear idol outfits and sing songs when they win a race. so you know they're still cute girls actually and they're not coming for your job or your masculinity.

[tomb-mold]

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

[swagglessmoth]

Let’s do laundry with mama <3

This was painful to colour. Beatus ille or whatever

[cassassinated]

I miss the days when, no matter how slow your internet was, if you paused any video and let it buffer long enough, you could watch it uninterrupted

[mythicalwashrag]

[useful-info-haver]

If you use Firefox, you can go to the about:config page, search for "media.mediasource.enabled" and double click on it to set it to false. After you restart Firefox, all youtube videos will load entirely even when paused! This also affects other streaming websites :)

[nyxgoddessofcandles]

There's more to do actually, now

go to About:config find media.mediasource.enabled and toggle it to false find media.cache_readahead_limit and change it to 9999 find media.cache_resume_threshold and change it to 9999

additionally if you'd prefer mp4 to webm

also in about:config, find: media.encoder.webm.enabled media.mediasource.webm.audio.enabled media.mediasource.webm.enabled media.webm.enabled and toggle them all to false

note! this will limit video to 1080p

and use https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/dont-accept-webp/ to kill WebP Fuck Google

[vortex-vt]

We jailbreaking browsers now lmao

[serafisolaris-deactivated202508]

i n s o m n o l e n t

[serafisolaris-deactivated202508]

The devil has my ear today I'll never hear a word you say

[sic-s3mper-tyrannis]

[geminiagentgreen]

[dragonprincessmew]

[wigglybunfish]

in which murderbot is a very normal terracotta soldier and ART the dragon spirit of a chinese junk who dwells in the ship's keel. they meet in the ming dynasty perhaps, when ppl are sailing places extra willy-nilly.

*Nüwa is the mother goddess in chinese mythology, known for creating humanity from yellow clay and repairing the sky.

thank you @mutualrapport for hosting the event! original prompt below.

[drawn for the prompt: an AU of ART and MB's first meeting and conversation - e.g. another look at their first meeting from a fantasy, historical, or (non-canon) sci-fi lens! Any perspective is fine. The only constraint is that it cannot be set in the canon universe. Any visibly non-canon AU- fantasy, human, historical, etc. - anything goes!]

[hadesisqueer]

Two World Cup finalists from opposing teams in this fucking picture, this sport isn't real

[hadesisqueer]

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

[joyflameball]

[onyxbird]

Uh oh, buddy, did you dip the entire baby in the good-at-soccer water? You didn't think ahead and leave, e.g., his heel, mediocre at soccer just in case?

[mikkeneko]

I've seen a few posts speculating on what might have happened in Shen Yuan had transmigrated into Mu Qingfang instead of Shen Qingqiu. Many fun ideas, but it got me thinking about how I would do this scenario.

The first thing that would happen would be that SY would declare that since MQF is not doomed by the plot/is only an NPC, he therefore doesn't have to make any changes and indeed shouldn't get involved with matters of import at all since he's only a minor background character. He can just kick back and relax in his new xianxia life, and get a front row seat to Luo Binghe's rise to power and conquest.

That would last approximately two days.

If we're still assuming that SY was a NEET or (even worse) a business major in his first life, then he would have no relevant medical expertise whatsoever. While I do think having a vague understanding of human anatomy and modern sanitary practices would help him, in the same way having a vague understanding of modern education helped him as SQQ, that is really not a substitute for the level of expertise Mu Qingfang is supposed to have. The first time he gets confronted with a severely wounded patient he doesn't know how to save, he goes into a panic and has to beg the System for a skill patch/easy mode/universal cheat elixir to pull them through.

After this, he starts to take his position as Medical Peak Lord more seriously and goes into a major skill grind/level up montage. He emerges from it with enough of an understanding of the applicable medical theory, plus whatever he knows from the modern world, plus what he remembers about flora and fauna and bullshit magical elixirs from the novel, plus his own problem solving skills, that he can at least get by as Mu Qingfang without putting patients in danger.

(Honestly he probably could stop there, but will he? No! Mu Qingfang is not just a decent doctor, he is the best doctor! Never mind that MQF was only brought up in the book in order to show himself useless against the power of Luo Binghe's miracle blood slash healing D. No, he absolutely must be The Best Doctor In The World or else he will not get a good grade in transmigrating, a thing both possible to achieve and normal to want.)

At any rate, SY eventually emerges from a study-fueled haze after a period of months or years to realize that Oh Shit, He's Invested Now. How is he supposed to live up to his self-assigned achievement not letting any of his patients die if Luo Binghe razes the mountain?! He's got to intervene now.

Fortunately, SY knows exactly what he needs to do. He's gotten to know Cang Qiong enough to know that it's pretty decent, actually, it's really not the corrupt institution that justified burning it down in the book, it's full of ordinary people just doing their best. There's really just one little tweak that needs to be made, one little alteration, one minor edit is all that stands in the way of Luo Binghe having a happy life and career as a Cang Qiong cultivator.

He just needs to kill Shen Qingqiu.

(cont...)

[mikkeneko]

Method is not going to be a problem. A doctor knows all about poisons, and Shen Qingqiu is already known for his frequent qi deviations; Mu Qingfang knows the exact ratio of ingredients he needs to drop Shen Qingqiu in his sleep an untraceable month or so from the time of application. It would look indistinguishable from the qi deviations he's already prone to, and Mu Qingfang would be in charge of the medical investigation afterwards anyway. Easy peasy.

No, the problem is going to be opportunity. Shen Qingqiu doesn't come to Qian Cao for medical treatment for his qi deviations. Shen Qingqiu doesn't come to Qian Cao for medical treatment for anything. He's a reclusive, antisocial jerk with paranoid tendencies which only coincidentally in this case happen to be warranted, but either way: Presents a problem for our newly determined Mu Qing-yuan.

So he starts on the campaign to win Shen Qingqiu's trust. Teach him to rely on others sometimes, to come to him when he needs help. Small things at first, with the intent of building up that trust over time. Peeling back the spiky carapace of the prickliest Peak Lord of their generation is tedious, often aggravating work, but Mu Qingyuan is patient and determined. He can make house calls, if Shen Qingqiu doesn't want to leave his Peak. He can mix medicines for headaches and nightmares and insomnia. He can talk for hours about this or that book that one of them borrowed from the other.

Slowly, bit by bit, he begins to form something approaching a friendship with Shen Qingqiu. All to plan.

The only problem is -- he begins to form something approaching a friendship with Shen Qingqiu.

And the more he gets to know the bastard, the more fond he's starting to become.

In a funny, exasperating, adopting-a-feral-tomcat sort of way, he's coming to like Shen Qingqiu.

Shit.

[mikkeneko]

In one of his patented "My body just moved to protect him on instinct, I had no idea that would happen, not a single thought in my head" moments, Mu Qingyuan gets a little too in the zone during a healing session and manages to completely cure Shen Qingqiu's qi instability. Well! Crap! This completely scotches his murder-SQQ-through-qi-deviation plan. Well, it wasn't a great plan anyway, everybody knows that if a highly ranked cultivation individual dies of a qi deviation the obvious suspect would be the man who was treating him for said qi deviation. Time to find a new approach.

At this point, a sensible person would abandon the murder-Shen-Qingqiu plan entirely. But reader, we are not talking about a sensible man.

Mu Qingyuan is still determined to kill Shen Qingqiu. He still thinks it's the best way to not only protect Luo Binghe from Shen Qingqiu, but to protect Shen Qingqiu (and Cang Qiong) from Luo Binghe. Shen Qingqiu's death is a hard-coded part of the narrative, after all! An inescapable part of the world! It's just that now he's determined to find a way to kill him before all the abuse and torture and tragedy stuff happens, and bring him back to life afterwards once the plot is safely past. Simple!

My outline gets fuzzy from here on out but I think it mostly consists of Mu Qingyuan going through a series of increasingly convoluted shen-anigans to try to get hold of the Glass Coffin of Stasis or the Ruby Apples of Mortal Seeming or the cursed five-pedal spinning wheel that puts whoever touches it into an enchanted sleep or whatever other Disney princess device Airplane shamelessly plagiarized into his narrative so that he could have another arc about a beautiful love interest trapped in a deathlike trance that Luo Bingge would have to go on a quest to save but didn't require him to come up with a new personality or background.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it has come to my attention there exists a subset of reenactors who go around renaissance faires "infecting" bystanders with the Plague. i wish to thank these heroes for their service

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

yes this can come in the form of dressing up as a pack of rats and offering people "Congratulations! You've Contracted The Black Death" hand stamps, but consider also:

walking around asking people if they want to pet your rat (plushie)

going in character as a fur trader carting around a wagon full of exotic wares at competitive prices

handing people a business card containing only the printed image of a flea (and on the back, the text "uh-oh!")

cosplaying as a giant bacterium

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*hands you my business card* it contains a single drawing of a flea

*instinctively you flip it over searching for information*