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All about ADHD, information ive gathered through deep dives in my spare time and personal experience stuff

[adhdlivedexp]

If women stopped listening to any male artist accused of violence against women there wouldn’t be many artists left to listen to…

So maybe stop tearing other women down for musical preference. You can enjoy the art an artist creates and be against their behaviour

If you personally choose to stop listening to every single artist ever accused of violence against women thats your choice, but projecting that choice onto other women and passing some fucked ass moral judgement is insane.

Your likes do not define your character. Stop shaming women for every damn choice they make.

Your choices are your own, every individuals choice is their own, leave it alone.

[adhdlivedexp]

You know what I could really use as an accomodation in life?

Someone to translate NT indirect communication so I actually know understand what they’re asking of me etc…

Im not even joking…

NTs will side step answering a question and then dance the fuck around it and then be like “what do you mean I didn’t directly answer your question”

[adhdlivedexp]

1 in 3 men in America admitted they’d force a woman to have sex if they knew they wouldn’t get caught.

That word—force—was used instead of the word “r*pe”

When researchers used the real word, the number dropped a lot.

Why?

Because some men know exactly what they’re doing.

They just don’t call it r*pe when it’s them doing it.

This is why language matters.

This is how r*pe culture hides in plain sight.

[adhdlivedexp]

I handed in my assessment 3 days late again for uni…

Even with a 2 week extension…

Why?

Because:

- i don’t feel urgency at all, its not that it comes too late, or that it’s too overwhelming… it never hits at all… it could be 4 hours away till the deadline, and I may know it’s 4 hours in theory, but in reality I have no idea if that’s a lot of time or not, and urgency relies on having some concept of time… to some degree.

- i have no idea how many study days I actually realistically have.. because it varies and there are too many variables to keep track of not just in terms of how my ADHD symptoms show up that day but also things like sleep, food, hydration, hormones, even the weather can have an impact too…

It’s not laziness… Im not just choosing not to do my assessments, if I were it wouldn’t effect my sleep as much as it does. I actually feel guilty if I’m doing anything but doing assessments.

I keep getting told that if it mattered that much I’d have no issue doing the assessments… if only it were that simple… if only “wanting to do the thing” equated to actually being able to “do” the thing…

But when you have ADHD… it’s not an issue of knowing, it’s an issue with doing, it’s literally a “performance” issue…

[adhdlivedexp]

Capitalism didnt create ADHD.

ADHD isnt created by being in the “wrong environment”.

ADHD is more PRONOUNCED because of the capitalist society we live in.

The problem with ADHD is that it’s naturally unpredictable, we know we CAN focus if it’s something we enjoy, but for how long? And when? Just because it’s something we enjoy doesn’t mean the ADHD just goes to sleep, we can still get distracted, still lack motivation some days.. because it’s unpredictable.

That unpredictability would be just as evident no matter the society we live in.

[adhdlivedexp]

As individuals we don’t believe we can do anything meaningful to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, and as individuals that may be so…

But as a collective, making small changes can reduce our emissions by up to 50% globally.

Small things like cutting meat and dairy out of our diets

Avoid driving to work if that’s doable (use public transport, carpool even, bike or walk to work instead, or if you can afford it purchase an electric or hybrid vehicle)

Purchase products from recycled goods that are recyclable

Turn switches off at the wall when not in use

Switch household items to low energy items where possible

Watch your water useage

Talk to landlords about solar panels etc

Climate change affects us all, we have maybe 10 years max to drastically reduce emissions.

[adhdlivedexp]

I never truly realised just how much my literal thinking impacts the way I process things until now…

I was reading a research paper on ADHD and in the conclusion it said how when people with ADHD hyper focus on something their impairments disappear and I thought to myself: “no our impairments dont disappear? A lot of them may improve a lot but disappear?”

When I mentioned this to a friend they were like: “I think youre taking that too literally, they don’t actually mean those impairments actually disappear, it just looks like they do or may feel like they do in comparison to how impairing they are normally”

[adhdlivedexp]

I think it’s the stupidest thing ever for people to go talking shit about celebrities.

You project your expectations onto random people but theyre the problem for not being what you expected? Are you for real?

If they weren’t a celebrity would you care half as much if they snubbed you? No, because that would be stupid!

Stop projecting your version of how you expect someone to be onto other people!

[adhdlivedexp]

Self compassion is more powerful than people realise I swear!

[adhdlivedexp]

One thing I wish NTs understood was this:

For us neurodivergent folk when we forget something it is soul crushing ok? We are haunted by the ghost of forgetting shit!

You see us forget where we put our phone that morning, not knowing that that’s only the first time that DAY we misplace our phone, it’s 10th time in 24 hours and beyond that we’ve lost count.

We forget shit more often than a lot of you realise which is why whenever we do forget something even if it’s small it’s the reminder of “I forgot this thing AGAIN”

When you’ve spent your life forever forgetting things and having people comment on how often you forget things especially when you were growing up or even in your workplace as an adult that shit crushes your soul because you’re trying so hard not to forget shit, but it’s inevitable and everyone around you just acts like you’re just not trying hard enough when the truth is you’re trying way harder than the average person!

[adhdlivedexp]

You can always tell when advice meant for ADHDers was written by someone without ADHD because it’s always shit like:

- practice better time management

- use a calendar

- use a planner

- set reminders

- keep a list

Vs

- set timers to keep you on task and keep a physical clock near you in view at all times to help. (Bonus points using a clock that doubles as a timer with a visual bar or something to show you how much you have left before the timer goes off)

- have a physical calendar somewhere where you naturally look all the time and colour code it for appointments etc

- have your email address sync with your calendar on your phone and computer etc so it automatically adds any appointments etc you make that are attached to that email address.

- find a good planner app on your phone that also syncs with your calendar

- set up reminders on those apps

- buy multiple books/notepads and place one in every room and every bag you use, that way as you remember stuff you can just write it in the book closest to you. You’re more likely to remember it once you’ve written it down and for whatever reason you’re more likely to remember what book you wrote it in.

[adhdlivedexp]

If you disagree with your boss’ idea, are you not meant to tell them you disagree?

Are you honestly meant to lie and pretend like it’s the best idea ever?

What if they’re testing you to see if you’ll just agree with whatever they’re saying and you get fired for that?

Is it only ok in certain situations and not others?

How do you know in which situations theyre testing you and which ones you should just kiss their ass for whatever reason?

How do people just intrinsically seem to understand this shit?

Is there some secret rule book I never got given for whatever reason cause you all seem to understand these rules just a little too well for them to not be written down somewhere!

[adhdlivedexp]

Therapy is honestly a tool to find out how to take care of yourself better.

If you take out diagnosis from the equation (excluding neurodivergence)

That’s all therapy is… learning better ways to take care of yourself.

[adhdlivedexp]

Pro tip for anyone with ADHD considering going into higher education:

Do it!

But also, be prepared to be 100% aware of just how impairing your ADHD is for you…

And make sure you can accept that as part of your ADHD there is a good chance you’ll forget to hand in assessments despite your best efforts etc.

I knew I had issues with self motivation, organisation, planning, prioritising, time management etc… but I wasn’t aware how bad these things actually were until I started uni…

I also managed to not know I had an assessment due at all for 20 days… I failed that unit and am currently repeating it now… I know the reason I didn’t see the second assessment was due me being burnt out and also distractibility, not due to my intelligence. This is why before I enrolled in uni I made sure I accepted that because I have ADHD forgetting assessments or not even realising I had an assessment were things I’d have to make peace with first.

I now have meetings with disability every 2 weeks so that if I am struggling we will catch on to it a lot sooner cause let’s face it… when you have ADHD you never really know when you’re actually struggling and need help because a lot of the time you struggle but end up working through it without any help so you assume that’ll be the case every time.

[adhdlivedexp]

I don’t miss people but I also crave connection it’s a weird thing…

I rarely talk to my other neurodivergent friends bar one… they hardly message me, i hardly message them, we all kinda forget we exist..

But i also struggle so much with never feeling close to anyone, never really feeling like i have friends unless I’m either having a conversation with them online or I see them in person, as soon as that ends i immediately go back to feeling like I don’t really have friends.

When I do remember my friend existence (generally externally triggered to remember) i cant remember why Im friends with them so I don’t “miss them” I just feel a lot of guilt because I know Im friends with them for a reason but I can’t remember.

I hate if people ask me what my favourite memory with them is or what I like doing most with them because again… I honestly can’t remember and it feels so shitty to say this :/

[adhdlivedexp]

How to manage ADHD executive function deficits:

Implement strategies that rely on executive functions :D

Suck at breaking tasks down into smaller steps because it takes too much mental energy? Have you tried breaking down tasks into smaller steps?

Poor time management? Try managing your time better!

Have trouble keeping track of important appointments etc? Use a calendar and a planner (don’t forget to check your planner regularly!)

Tired of forgetting things all the time? Just remember set to multiple reminders, add important dates and appointments to your calendar, don’t forget to also add them to your planner that you need to remember to check regularly oh and don’t forget to write down to do lists!

If my executive functions were efficient these strategies might be more doable, or maybe Im just not trying hard enough? -.-

[animentality]