dale can be our always

I was Jason Grace once upon a time (prev romansuperman)

[vikhytherm]

goodbye chiikawa

oil paint on board, 2026

[crowcaws]

Incredible events unfolding on reddit

[crowcaws]

[crowcaws]

I would die for Tessa. I would find her 200 toothbrushes.

[crowcaws]

So it looks like Tessa has been using these veggietales toothbrushes for ages, but has misplaced the stash.

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[princerevelucide]

theres NONE left. i drinked it all

[stemboards]

theres NONE left. i drinked it all stimboard 🌱

[bannertanks]

[ghosthierophant]

[mollyjames]

It's really important when you're at work to go out there and really give it your 60%. Maybe 35%.

[sexhaver]

it's extremely funny reading historical accounts of Spontaneous Human Combustion because it follows the normal historical trend of other 1800s paranormal phenomena where it stopped happening as much right around the time cameras were invented and stopped happening entirely when everyone started carrying mini cameras in their pockets, but unlike most others of its ilk, it was effectively replaced by this mysterious phenomena where alocoholics would spill liqour on themselves and then fall asleep smoking a cigarette and turn into a fireball. nobody knows if these two things are related

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

I apologize to everyone whose grammar I ever corrected before I learned not to be a tool.

[rakshar]

your forgiven.

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

You’re… really sweet to do that. Thanks.

[saints-row-2]

im only saying this once

the only acceptable jobs for spider-man

broke high schooler

broke college student

freelance photographer

high school teacher

unpaid intern

pizza delivery guy

research assistant for doomed scientific project

guy who stands on street and spins sign for quiznos

being spider-man

and thats IT i dont want any of this “hes a genius tech ceo making millions” SHIT. Spider-man is BROKE and he missed rent this month and he has a tiny apartment and thats how its MEANT TO BE. he doesnt make money because he is our Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-man and not fucking Tony Stark.

[poiplefunguy]

how about dog walker while in spiderman costume

[crutchie-morris]

you. you get it

[thequantumqueer]

im imagining “being spider-man” as his full-time gig and i just

he has a patreon. the description is just the words “I’m Spider-Man” and all he ever posts is specifically-requested selfies from people who want to be sure its really him. pinned to the top of the page is a picture from the top of the empire state building (not the observation deck, the real top) of his spider-gloved hand holding a bagel that is on fire, with 34th street in the background

[adjacentderulo2014]

when you've gotten back with an ex a bunch of times and it's starting to feel like the relationship of Theseus

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Me, tears streaming down my face, sobbing, as I stare at the stars: it’s just so beautiful

The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say

Me, sniffling: I didn’t realize, I can’t, it’s so much, I, I… are the chips good, at least?

Medieval peasant, trying to make me feel better: they’re… magical, strange traveler

[theoneofwhomisblue]

[blossposs]

[crispylilworm]

[theoneofwhomisblue]

[theoneofwhomisblue]

[targetedknowledge]

[saul-tortellini]

It was like the sun came out from behind the clouds...

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

it's really funny how the entire world basically just blew the fuck up six short years ago and nobody wants to admit that that may have had some lasting consequences lmao

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

like so much of Everything today is premised on the idea that the earth-shattering catastrophe which happened within living memory of everyone older than a third grader has had no meaningful material or psychological effects on the general public and i don't think that's good, lol.

"(some of) the top-line economic indicators (sorta) recovered (in most places) so everything is fine and we don't need to talk about it" is not a sustainable framework for interfacing with reality

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

"why is everyone so angry and paranoid now?" "why is politics so dysfunctional now?" "why is [x] [y] and [z] now? blah blah blah"

2020:

[arrowquillpokemon]

game: has any kind of elemental based fighting system

me: apply pokemon logic

[gluttonousgoddess]

To be fair Pokemon element logic is rooted in normal logic.

[arrowquillpokemon]

yeah, everyone knows a wrestlers biggest weakness is the local pigeons

[karnalesbian]

go outside and try to suplex a bird

[dolleyeresponse]

tell me how bug resists fighting

[karnalesbian]

go outside and try to suplex a bug

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

The really funny thing about "snakes aren't mammals your snake girl shouldn't have breasts!" is like yeah. Neither should your cat girl.

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

The fact that this is the line drawn is really funny! Human breasts are actually incredibly rare among mammals! We don't know exactly why humans have big bazongas but it's probably sexual selection, which presents the really funny problem

If your snake women having sex with people is normal and expected...then yeah, they're ALSO probably going to have something resembling breasts. They might even just have breasts in all but function.

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

Like yes, non-mammals don't make milk, but you actually don't need the whole kit that humans do in order to make milk. Arguably its not even the important part of the breast to begin with.

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

You also don't need to justify it at all you can just be a pervert about it.

[swiftrunnerfelidae]

We actually have another theory why human breasts are like that, and it's because of our flat faces.

Most mammals have, compared to humans, an elongated jaw. So a little tiny bump of a mammary gland is fine, just enough to get the nostrils away from the teat, and the young can freely breathe while nursing. However, as humans started using fire more and more to cook food - which softened it up, rendering powerful jaws less necessary - their jaws began to shorten, resulting in the development of the chin and other unique facial structures as the face flattened out.

This, of course, meant that babies could suffocate while nursing, which would obviously be bad. But what if... what if nipple further from chest? Bigger bump, so baby's nose have spot to go that isn't directly into mommy's chest? Oh, turns out that works! Of course, as more and more fat stores become dedicated to growing that breast mound to keep baby from suffocating, it becomes harder and harder for the mother to reabsorb that tissue when not nursing (as many other mammals do), so they just... don't. Knockon effects from there, and bam. Tiddies.

Which means if your cat girl has a flat face she probably should still have boobs but if she's got the full muzzle, not so much.

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

That's actually really interesting honestly.