hello friends

[catchymemes]

[prideprejudce]

she weaponized her gag gift im crying

[sassbewitchedmyass]

So, I took my little puppies outside today for the first time and they’re so unbelievably brave while simultaneously being the biggest morons I’ve ever seen. I’ve decided to name every one of them Jaime Lannister.

[sassbewitchedmyass]

Jaime Lannister #1 just ran head first into a tire, backed up, and did it again.

[sassbewitchedmyass]

Jaime Lannister #4 just tried to fight my 90lb lab.

[sassbewitchedmyass]

Jaime Lannister #2 been laid out in the driveway for a straight 15 minutes. Thought he might be dead. Nope. He’s alive and drunk on sunlight.

[sassbewitchedmyass]

The puppy formally known as Jaime Lannister #5. She hasn’t done anything stupid so far. Just catching up on her beauty sleep.

Name changed to Brienne of Tarth.

[sassbewitchedmyass]

Brienne of Tarth thinks the cat is her mother. I said “that not your moms, Bri. He’s a dude.” No reaction. Renamed Jaime Lannister #5

[sassbewitchedmyass]

You are so right, friend. Brienne of Tarth reinstated.

[sassbewitchedmyass]

How could I forget that doofus! So sorry #3! Jaime Lannister #3 ate a beetle after I yelled at him not to and then immediately proceeded to throw it back up. Beetle was still alive. JL #3 ate it again.

[sassbewitchedmyass]

Behold, 4 dumbass Jaime Lannister’s and 1 Brienne of Tarth(middle puppy)

[sassbewitchedmyass]

Update: Today, Brienne of Tarth got stuck in a hole and didn’t know how to climb her way out of it and Jaime Lannister #1, forever the knight in shining armor, jumped into the hole after her!! Now, they’re both stuck. But they’re together.

[sassbewitchedmyass]

Update: They like to sleep in the ‘bear pit’ now

[sassbewitchedmyass]

Update: Jaime Lannister #3 and Brienne like to sleep in the food bowl

The other Jaime Lannister’s prefer to nap on an old broom

[cockroach-queer]

Sometimes I’m like “ancient greek plays are so old, how am i going to relate to the characters?” but then 

[mysharona1987]

[datsmeyellin]

every culture has their ethnic donut and every culture has their ethnic dumpling… humans be frying dough

[sindri42]

Every culture also makes a sword. If they got metal they make a sword, if they don’t have metal they take obsidian or shark teeth or whatever it is that they’ve got and they make that into a sword.

Coincidence? I think not.

[gordon-freeman-official]

2 constants in all civilizations:

Tasty Fried Food

Danger Murder Sticks

[ginger-le-gay-deactivated202008]

World building tip: the bare bones of all civilizations are fried dough and sharp things.

[earlgraytay]

Also: dramatic and ornate hats.

as soon as people have the resources to do so they will put gaudy brightly-coloured things on their heads, so help them

[roguecampingrainstorm]

Fried dough, murder sticks, and ostentatious headwear. I like it.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I am from Croatia, here is what we call a doughnut

this is a historical sword from these areas

Nikola Šubić Zrinski, a one of the most significant people in Croatian history, also wore funky hats

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

post your local donut, sword, and funky hat

[dudufrauk-deactivated20171229]

saddest short story

for sale: thing feet, never worn

[fidefortitude-deactivated202011]

why not save time with all these “sports” by making them all play at the same time on the same pitch?

i call it the Fuckening and it’s the biggest event on the calendar

[fidefortitude-deactivated202011]

additional rules: at all times players must obey the rules of their respective sports, unless they hold hands with a player from another sport, in which case their sport rules switch over for as long as they hold hands

[fidefortitude-deactivated202011]

cheers, 4am me, for the worst post i’ve ever made

[myrrhemaid]

Presented by myself and @goodluckdetective without comment

[awindylife]

That. That is the entire high literature summed up. You just broke all man-written novels

[pileofknives]

Artemis Fowl deserved the fandom that Harry Potter got, that series was fucking nuts

[pileofknives]

Harry Potter: what if wizards played cricket on brooms and a trust fund orphan jock led an army of child soldiers against wizard Hitler also the author is a terf?

Artemis Fowl: What if Hans Gruber from Die Hard was 12 years old and Irish and he and his Eurasian bodyguard decided to declare war on the realm of the Fae also there’s no antisemitism or transmisogyny but a bunch of guns?

[davidmann95]

First issue of the best Batman run:

[veronicaawakens]

Harry Potter: What if goblins were just a really shitty cartoon version of Jews? Artemis Fowl: What if dwarfs could unhinge their jaw like a snake and then dug tunnels by just inhaling dirt and then immediately shitting it back out again?

[nyanbinyuri]

T

[nyanbinyuri]

THEY WHAT NOW??????????

[lesbian-bottom-memes]

my lesbian farmer gf or, as i like to call her, my crop top—

[pasteletonartstache]

my lesbian electrician gf or, as I like to call her, my power bottom

[lesbian-bottom-memes]

thank you for the best comment i’ve seen in my fucking life

[whitepeopletwitter]

[evolvedleo-deactivated20170414]

me, procrastinating: haha it’s okay I work best under pressure! :)

me, working under pressure:

[man-thing]

[punkrocktaire]

[weavemama]

[loadingartist]

—> Source <—

[eleftheriatic]

TODAY IT’S A GREAT DAY BECAUSE IT’S MARCH 15th THE DAY WHEN DENZEL CROCKER LOST HIS HAPPINESS AND IT’S ALSO ANNOY SQUIDWARD DAY

[ubercream]

It’s also the day Marty McFly’s dad is murdered in the bad timeline

[hurgler-blog]

wow this is just a bad date in fiction

[veeranger]

It’s the fucking Ides of March people. Todays the day Julius Caesar was stabbed like 23 times

[ankle-beez]

GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15