AdmiralPsy

[naamahdarling]

That has to be the most humiliating way to describe one of Earth's most terrifyingly effective predators.

[sapphic-and-stupid]

Picture of her from the USA Today

[teaboot]

I would let her kill me for sport

[vaelus-malewife]

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

[fleetwood-mac-andcheese]

[itsbasil]

you put those tags on this post where they belong

[chameliyun]

just tried to reference the xkcd "today's lucky 10,000" comic but I wanted to explain xkcd first, so I was like "you probably know the one about experts in the field overestimating their audience's familiarity with the subject matter" and uh. he didn't. love me some irony

[haarute]

pov you are sent to hell

[sodeathitis]

They grow grants there like rhubarb

[waterandsilver]

if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

[waterandsilver]

i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making

[plaguedocboi]

So every year, my aquarium does a captive lobster hatchery project (hence all the loblings). The reason we’re doing it is because in the wild, loblings only have a 1 in 25,000 chance of surviving their larval phase. They’re plankton as babies and everything eats them. Additionally, as the Gulf of Maine warms, they are having even lower survival rates because the blooms of copepods they feed on as babies are happening earlier in the year, and they’re missing it.

Obviously, the goal of this experiment is to grow the lobsters until they’re big enough to settle to the seabed and then release them, because they have a much higher likelihood of surviving to adulthood when they’re able to hide. Ideally, captive lobster hatcheries can boost the wild population and keep things stable, so we don’t have a major crash in a decade or two.

The first year we tried this was pretty bad. We had a lot of eggs, but very few babies. It turned out that the CO2 levels in the building spiked as more guests visited throughout the summer, and that settled into the water and threw off the pH and caused a chemical reaction that prevented a lot of the eggs from hatching. I think we ended up releasing three baby lobsters (which is still better than their wild survival rate but not great).

The second year was a little better. We added a de-gasser to the aquarium and got a ton of larval lobsters, but right as they were settling to the bottom we had a disease outbreak that killed most of them. We ended up releasing four babies at the end of the season.

But this year? Oh boy. We have so many lobsters that we had to release the first round early (usually we wait till September or October so guests can see them). We just released a total of FIVE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE baby lobsters, and we still have over a hundred who haven’t settled to the bottom yet. I genuinely don’t even have words to explain how cool this is. OVER FIVE HUNDRED. We just added hundreds of lobsters to the wild population that wouldn’t have been there otherwise.

Conservation is so fucken sick

[northirish]

Not only should I be studied by science, but I should be studied by pseudoscience as well. Let's see of those deranged cranks can work out what the fuck is wrong with me

[egberts]

i deleted my blog and tumblr immediately asked me if i want to sign up again

[theauthoryperson]

and here you are

[mothsprout]

Had a dream that I saw this ad in a paper

[delestre]

please stop this looks like a real tumblr ad

[undeadentropy]

I literally didn't question it until I read the post. I was just about to be happy the tumblr shitpost ad ecosystem was beginning to heal.

[elliespectacular]

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

The joke is already funny!

Further additions or permutations may weaken its potency!

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

[mxtomituck]

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[bpwpbshika]

[systlin]

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

[ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis]

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

[systlin]

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

[systlin]

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

[sabertoothwalrus]

I’m so proud of senshi for making it so far in the tumblr sexyman poll. I think it’s so beautiful that tumblr has reached a point where a short fat hairy bearded man is the pinnacle of sexuality for a large swath of this userbase. it’s like when you see before & after pictures of a rainforest recovering from deforestation. nature is healing and we can fight god

[sabertoothwalrus]

I hope he wins so someone will have to explain to ryoko kui what a tumblr sexyman is

[ailithnight]

[sabertoothwalrus]

I have to say I forgot the onceler’s thing was cutting down trees when I made my metaphor.

[anthraxofeffervescence]

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

[anthraxofeffervescence]

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

[bloodyraven1001]

There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.

[ariaste]

And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona

[horizon-penblade]

We can't use aircraft because the fbi has access to all the flight data how many times do we need to go over this

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[transgenderer]

Thinking about 30-50 feral hogs again. Can you imagine the majesty. Murmurating like starlings. Elaborate emergent shapes. The deafening snuffling. They pass through a corn field leaving only rubble behind. And the danger! Don't get too close! It's electric. we have only begun to conceive of the hog