adorabledestruction

The legend. | Icon by 55hope

[jeniferprince]

can we? 🥺

patreon // buy prints here

[alohamoon]

I firmly believe in mermaids with their tits out. No shell tops, no scaly tops. Bare chested, maybe some fun little accessories like necklaces or something but let them be topless. They live in the sea you think they’ll have clothes? They’re fish people, they don’t follow human ideals. Let the fish girls have their titties out!!

[akaanmo]

i think i just witnessed a miracle

[fractiousrvt]

There is always hope

[quinnick]

It’s that time of year again so here is your yearly reminder that the world isn’t ending and people don’t hate you. The sun is just setting at 6 pm.

[mrs-delaney]

Please take your vitamin D

[bundibird]

HEY SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE GIRLIES, ITS OUR TURN TO ENDURE THE DARK DAYS NOW, BUT STAY STRONG. THE WORLD IS NOT ENDING; THE SUN IS JUST SETTING AT 5-to-6 PM. BUT SHE WILL COME BACK TO US SOON. TAKE A VITAMIN D AND HANG IN THERE.

[americanfrontier]

oh and when i was a year old, after i got my foot amputated my parents were pushing me around in a stroller at a street festival in miami and i was chewing on my foot or whatever and this street performer came up to us and was like “aw i bet that tastes good!!” and my dad was like “yeah look at what she did to the other one!!!!” and pulled back the blanket covering my left leg to show a stump with a huge scar on it and i’m pretty sure my dad terrified that poor man

[cwudining-deactivated20181015]

A friend of ours worked in a movie theater.  One night, a rowdy little boy decided to kick over all the stands that held up the red velvet cords.

After several attempt to stop him, she finally declared, “If you keep kicking those over, your leg will fall off!”

No sooner had she said this than she looked up and was mortified to notice a man standing on a pair of crutches with one leg.

Before she could apologize, he looked down at the boy and sighed, “I used to love to kick those.”

The kid ran away.

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

My small hand looks normal enough that many people don’t notice for quite some time that it’s missing fingers, and I sometimes get people questioning if my hand was always like that but they never noticed, or if something recent happened to them.

So as a kid I absolutely loved when people tentatively asked me what happened to my hand and I’d unsuspiciously say, “What about my—” looking down at them, “notice” the missing fingers, and suddenly scream-recoil away as though I’d never seen the issue before. Managed to give quite a fright to multiple well-meaning adults about it. ✌️😎

[flootzavut]

Someone I knew in college who (I think congenitally) had one arm that ended around his elbow and had a prosthesis, and he would regularly take it off to give his other arm more reach and like tap people on the shoulder with it and shit.

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

give a man a guitar and he’ll play for a day, teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you

I swear to God I am so tired of this meme. You guys need to leave Wonderwall alone, seriously by now you should’ve somehow realized what you gotta do

[hannah-the-lion-deactivated2023]

my friend asked if i was gonna stop laughing at wonderwall jokes.

i said maybe

[hollowtones]

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

[fidefortitude-deactivated202011]

These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all

[dykethang]

big if true tbh

[paradoxgavel]

looking it up, apparently this was an artist who made signs like this to parody the actual city council's signage, just told apart by his logo in the corner, "christchurch city confusion", and they had locals rly confused for a bit. my favorite is this one!

[aquilacalvitium]

@ominous-signs

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

and what if I told you guys that virtually everyone you ever meet will turn out to be really interesting if you give them a chance

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

some real miserable fucks in the notes I fear

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I'm not even saying you have to talk to every single person you meet. and you're certainly not going to LIKE all of them. but every person does have a rich interior life and complex feelings and unique worldview. sorry.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey man how's it going

sorry for getting self righteous about uuuuh my belief in the innate wonder of human life and connection I guess

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey man how's it going

[bunjywunjy]

wow. made it less than three months in

[ooklet]

this is truly one of the most tumblr posts i've ever seen. i know chronically online people exist in all corners of the internet but i feel like this is the only place where someone could say something as uncontroversial as "you will find out that people have personalities when you talk to them" and get responses like "oh so you're making the ABLEIST assertion that i should FORCE MYSELF to push past my SOCIAL ANXIETY to talk to BIGOTS????" amazing work, guys

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

[internetgreatesthits]

[mono-red-menace]

[unknown-but-existing]

i feel like this is more funny

[arinrowan]

I'm trying to finish the season finale of a horror podcast, but as a hiker I keep being distracted by the characters:

running through the woods at night

running through UNFAMILIAR woods at night

running through unfamiliar woods at night, WITHOUT any artificial light

running through unfamiliar woods at night without any artificial light OR USING A TRAIL

It's in the UK so I guess they don't have to worry about cougars or bears or wolves but if nothing else these guys should be eating shit roughly every thirty seconds

[rialtostation]

pacific rim fucks severely for a lot of reasons but my favorite is that it opens with "the lizard aliens are unionizing so we built robots running on the power of love to fight them you got all that right" and before you have time to really process that concept bam gunshot body on the floor and the movie goes "now consider the vast power of grief in this setup" it never really stops considering

[catgirlbignaturals]

It also has a scene where the robot uses a boat as a baseball bat. That also fucks tremendously.

[combataromantic-deactivated2026]

Fuuuuck dude I got drunk last night and tried to take down the villain on my own and now he’s texting me some ‘I’m the only one allowed to defeat you’ shit bro what do I do

[combataromantic-deactivated2026]

Man he just yelled ‘I want him alive’ to his goons, it’s so over.

[bunkey]

notice how everyone is horny today

[bunkey]

[experiment41]

are bots making communities now??? some of the ones i get recommended feel like it

[experiment41]

like the admin of this one is deactivated and at least 95% of the members are bots

[lohboh]

can you imagine you wake up one day in a dark room chained to a radiator with your phone at 1% and you unlock it and find that you've been added to this community

[shin-zaibatsu]

The first thing you do in that situation is open Tumblr?

[lohboh]

Where the hell else would I post about being chained to a radiator, fucking Bluesky?

[pangur-and-grim]

my humours have balanced. I have become mentally normal again

[pangur-and-grim]

no, mentally normal people can still write spider sex books

[teaboot]

YOU

[catasters]

[catsithkelpie]

I cannot describe how much I laughed at this.

Sound is VERY important.