Hans Zatzka
Austrian, 1859-1945

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Hans Zatzka
Austrian, 1859-1945
remember to cry for help without guilt-tripping. i know it feels like you’ve been abandoned and betrayed, but it’s probably not true, and it’s not okay to accuse the people around you of something they might not have done.
“i guess none of you like me” could be better phrased as “i feel unloved right now”
“but nobody cares anyway” could be better phrased as “i feel insignificant and i need reassurance”
rather than assuming others’ feelings, give them time to explain them. you’ll usually get a much better answer.
Just because someone was abused in the past doesn’t mean they have the right to abuse you.
i explored my emotions outside of therapy and now i am staring at a desperate text i just sent to my ex…
Michael Buthe, SMAK Ghent
hey if you’ve got a soft tummy that sticks out, welcome to the club bitch, you cool as hell and perfectly fine. enjoy yourself.
I honestly don’t know what I want in life. I don’t even know what I want right now. All I know is that it hurts so much inside, and it’s eating me alive. One day, there won’t be anything left of me and I’ll be brave enough to end all this pain.
I just got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Is there any advice you can give? I feel so crazy all the time
I completely understand that feeling.
I have a ton of things I could say, but depending on what you’re dealing with, the best I can probably do is throw a ton of links at you for you to check out and hopefully some things will help.
Sites for BPD (and co-occurring conditions) basic Information(a lot of this info will be repetitive):
National Institute of Mental Health
Borderline Personality Disorder site
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Mayo Clinic
Mind.org.uk
BPD Central
NHS UK
BPD Resource Center
Books and Blogs:
The Buddha and the Borderline - Amazon // Website // My review
Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified
Hope for BPD with Amanda Smith (also on tumblr @hopeforbpd)
Healing from BPD with Debbie Corso
I’m writing a book, but life is happening so it’s still a work in progress.
Treatments:
Mentalization Based Treatment (or Mentalization Based Therapy)
MBT - Menninger Clinic
Mentalization PDF
DBT - Linehan Institute
NAMI DBT Factsheet PDF
DBT on GoodTherapy
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - Beck Institute
CBT - Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies
Psychotherapy - NAMI
Treating BPD
Helpful or Relatable Posts/Links:
my resources tag.
mental health resources when you can’t afford a therapist
emotional circuitry (by a blogger who I suggest you follow, @tequilamockingbird2015)
why does abandonment hurt so much
a guide to helping borderlines feel less like shit
struggling and having a self care plan
what a loved one can do
diagnosing criteria info // what the changes in the DSM 5 mean
self care tag
I hope some of these help. You are not alone.
Best,
Ash
BPD Symptoms and Features
I got asked in anon what BPD is and what the symptoms and features are in it (Borderline Personality Disorder/Emotional Regulation Disorder). I decided to make a post instead as this is very important for awareness and education. BPD is a chronic mental disorder caused by emotional hypersensitivity + dysregulation In BPD, neurobiological emotion and systematic reactions fire off rapidly, longer, easily, and with more intensity as they are hypersensitivity and do not regulate, balance out, or process well and the same as others. As it is a chronic disorder, it is life-long, cannot be ‘cured’ so to speak, though symptomology may be managed through treatment. BPD has been known to be an extremely complex, debilitating, condition overall. As it is a personality disorder, this means it affects the baseline areas of one’s every day life- functioning, behavior, emotion, thought pattern, perception, and interaction (Rather than in discrete mood episodes like depressive disorders/manic-depressive disorders or an anxiety disorder, etc). Factors that contribute to the development of this disorder consist of: -A result of an overactive sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight system- easily triggered by panic, anger, anxiety, etc) -An under-active parasympathetic nervous system (The system that is responsible to regulate the fight or flight system) -Less active and smaller in volume abnormalities in the limbic system which has functions linked to: emotional reactions, memory, decision making, motivation, behavior, learning and developmental ability, thought pattern, instincts, psychotic symptoms, seizures, and senses/the way the body perceives external stimuli. -Reduced volume in frontal lobe which has functions linked to: decision making, communication responses, ability to comprehend consequences, emotional-based memories and triggers, and relations to people, events and situations. -Abnormal blood flow to parts of the brain that control emotions, resulting in one to be more reactive -Emotional reactions firing off 20% longer -And other factors (genetic factors, reinforced through trauma/environmental factors, etc). They frequently occur as a reaction to an outside stimulant. As the reactions fire off rapidly, longer, easily, and with more intensity, this leads to a series of severe symptoms: Depression instead of sadness, humiliation instead of embarrassment, rage instead of anger, euphoric reactions instead of excitement/happiness. Particularly, main symptoms include: 1. Persistent depressive symptoms- dysphoria, hopelessness, chronic feelings of emptiness, frequent feelings of being miserable, pervasive shame, feelings of inferiority, and extreme difficulty recovering from such symptoms 2. Anxiety based symptoms: Tenseness, panic, anxiety, and nervousness, persistent worries, apprehensions, feelings of ‘falling a part or losing control, etc. 3. Anger/rage symptoms: Unbearable discomfort, extreme rage and discomfort in response to ‘minor’ slights/remarks, situations, or events, active opposition, aggression, etc. 4. Identity and sense of self based symptoms: Dysphoria (Dissatisfaction, uselessness, worthlessness), unstable/radical behavior and/or appearance changes, despising oneself, excessive self-criticism, fluctuating between and a lack of direction with goals, values, morals, opinions, aspirations, choices, etc. 5. Real or perceived abandonment, rejection, and criticism based symptoms: Extreme reactions to such, such as lack/loss of autonomy, dependency, intense grief, humiliation, negative bias, or other reactions (anger, depression, etc) 6. Impulsive and/or reckless based symptoms: sense of urgency to engage in impulsiveness, extreme intrusive thoughts and urges for a relief of emotional turmoil, acting on the moment in response to a reaction and stimuli, acting without plan or consideration, difficulty establishing/following plans, etc; and/or a lack of care for well-being, denial of one’s limits, danger, and outcomes, and engagement in reckless behaviors such as substance abuse, reckless driving, spending, sex, etc.. 7. Thought pattern based symptoms: Splitting and idealization/devaluation (x) 8. Suicidal ideations (gestures, preoccupied and extensive thoughts, role playing, planning, etc) and self-harm (cutting, burning, bone breaking, bruising, etc) 9. People with BPD may often experience transient reactions of paranoia and dissociation… and/or of psychotic symptoms (meaning symptoms that lack reality): (can include paranoia), hallucinations, delusions, body dysmorphic figures, etc, in response to an intense emotion. 10. (As partly mentioned) they frequently and typically occur as a reaction to an outside stimulant. Emotional hypersensitivity/reactivity- reactions that are quick happening, easily aroused, intense, and can last minutes, hours, or even extreme seconds, and sometimes days, while other times, symptoms can remain more persistent (e.g. depressivity).
Then there various other symptoms and features to this very complex, and unfortunately, highly stigmatized and misunderstood disorder. Because of the complexity and various symptoms, and since the reactions affect “all” the ranges of emotions, it is often described as ‘on the borderline’ of multiple different conditions and symptoms (depression, anxiety, dissociative, etc). Here are a few indicated in research. (Note- One with the disorder may display some or most of these, but nothing is guaranteed as each person with the disorder is an individual, so don’t use these as assumptions. Some may not have the same symptoms as others, and no person with it is portrayed the same way. They are rather a guideline and have been shown through research to mental health workers). (ALSO NOTE- Others without it can obviously ‘display/relate’ to some of this from time to time once you take a look, but the reasoning, cause, severity, and pattern is different and this is a chronic disorder. Please note it’s completely different than that and that this post is just for awareness/education purposes since not many know about it- how to deal, what to expect, etc. Also note that this is not a checklist. This is condition awareness. Percentages show that 8/10 of these individuals attempt suicide, while 1/10 complete it. Stigma and assumptions don’t help, but awareness does. 11. Distorted/irregular eating patterns- (e.g. reduced food intake, impoverished diet) 12. Sleep deprivation or irregular sleeping patterns (too little, too much) 13. “Acting out”- addressing and expressing emotions by actions and behaviors, rather than words, reflections, or feelings 14. A lack of object consistency (inability to recall that people or objects are ‘still there,’ consistent, and reliable when they are not currently being physically seen/there and difficulty maintaining these feelings) 15. Attachment to people, places, or certain objects 16. Baiting 17. Unstable relationships 18. Maladaptive day dreaming 19. Extreme reactivity to surroundings, curiosity and interest 20. Voice changing 21. Nociception (pain tolerance) differences- Studies show alterations in acute pain processing in over 50% of those with BPD- they have a higher tolerance for such. The result of this comes from different systematic responses and antinociception and may be a result of long-term self harm behavior in some cases. On the other hand, they may have a lower tolerance for chronic pains. 22. Obsessive compulsive spectrum features-(e.g. perfectionism, intrusive thoughts in the thought pattern/processes, repetitive behavior as a result, repetitive speech) 23. With proper balance, self discipline/work orientation as a result of repetitive features have been observed in BPD individuals 24. Promiscuity 25. Mimicking/mirroring 26. Flashbacks 27. Nightmares 28. Difficulty processing and taking in information 29. Difficulty focusing, concentrating, and a poor attention span 30. High numbers of people with BPD have been shown to have various other physical conditions and difficulties, specifically: high blood pressure, diabetes, chronic migraines, back pain, stomach aches, arthritis, and fibromyalgia. 31. BPD rarely stands alone when it comes to having other mental disorders. At least 85% of people with BPD have a second mental disorder. 32. Feelings of fear, negativity, or rejection of authority or important figures 33. Alluring/seductive behavior 34. Extreme need for acceptance and reassurance 35. A need to prove themselves over and over, as identity may be graded on a scale of what was done that very day (with no consideration of what was done in the past) 36. Extreme apathy, boredom, dullness, and indifference 37. Flat affect- lack of emotional reactivity and inability to express/show emotions due to depression, absence of emotional response, and restriction of expressions 38. Creativity/creative thinking 39. Persistently perceiving neutrality as anger in others’ expressions, and reacting to such, is a unique feature that was found in research among BPD individuals, as opposed to those without. This includes reactions to real/perceived negative meaning in words. 40. Isolating oneself 41. Defensive reactions 42. Magical thinking (e.g. assumed correlations, interconnection, etc) 43. Fantasizing 44. Illusions- brain’s misinterpretation of a real sensory stimulus, perceiving and interpreting the sense to be different or distorted than what it really is (whereas, hallucinations are a sensory (seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, etc) perception that isn’t there at all) 45. Hypersensitivity to caffeine, alcohol, some sugars and foods. Often described as being “allergic” to such things as it causes reactions from hypersensitivity and symptoms. 46. Memory lapses- resulting from dissociation, trauma, or intense reactions, etc 47. Avoidance 48. Euphoric reactions 49. Detachment 50. Avoidance of eye contact 51. Difficulty transitioning to life aspects, such as changes to plans, environments/surroundings, arrangements, relationships, work, school, etc 52. Difficulty with awareness 53. Sensitivity and irritability to senses- light, sounds, temperatures, etc 54. Resistance 55. Difficulty completing tasks 56. “Rapid” or excessive speech
57. Restlessness and difficulty relaxing
58. Extreme sense of security, comfort, and connection with animals/nature and inanimate objects, such as transitional objects
59. Undermining a goal, success, or relationship (quitting a good right after a promotion, dropping out of school right before graduation, etc, just to name a few examples for a better idea)
60. Often occurs with PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder) or worse reactions to menstrual cycles because of the hypersensitive and systematic changes
61. Sarcasm
62. Flight of ideas, racing thoughts, or rapid thought patterns
63. Brief remission of symptoms in response to certain events (positive reactions)
64. Disrupted or delayed life components- education, relationships, jobs, etc
No particular order. If you may need a source, example, description/explanation for more understanding for any of these, feel free to ask :)
You won’t feel lost forever. You will find your way
The symptoms of mental illness don’t necessarily ever go away and I wish more people understood that part of it. My mind isn’t much quieter than when I entered treatment but I have developed the skills to handle the noise without destroying myself.