so uhh I guess I should probably make an introduction post, huh?
So uhh, hi 👋 sup, I'm Affordable Cat! My pronouns are they/them, I love Spamtenna it's literally peak yaoi, pretty much all of my posts are Spamton/Spamtenna.
Spamton is HOT and FINE I don't care what anyone says he's so cute and sexy.
I love drawing! :3 whether that's traditional art or digital I LOVE it!! <3 so my posts are mostly art :3
I do write sometimes on ao3, my account is Affordable_Cat if you want to check that out! I don't write a lot and if I do it's usually unfinished 😬 but I do read a LOT like I said I love Spamton and Spamtenna so of course I read that yaoi.
I also LOVE getting asks and art requests! So PLEASE leave some asks/art requests and I will answer them! My mailbox is always open!(Heh, mail 💌)
uhh I don't post *that* often, but if I get an ask I will answer it as soon as I can! Now don't get me wrong, I do post quite frequently whenever I draw something I really like and whatnot, but it's not like everyday(or even every week)
But uhh anyways, I love you all may the yaoi be with you <3
that moment when you realize that you're madly in love with a character, that you wish you could have the most intimate moments with them, and love and care for them forever, but then you realize you also kinda use them to represent yourself as a kind of persona and really wish that you were them physically.
Yeah... That's how I feel rn.
With SPAMTON.
I really want to be him, but I also really want to be WITH him...
that moment when you realize that you're madly in love with a character, that you wish you could have the most intimate moments with them, and love and care for them forever, but then you realize you also kinda use them to represent yourself as a kind of persona and really wish that you were them physically.
Yeah... That's how I feel rn.
With SPAMTON.
I really want to be him, but I also really want to be WITH him...
WOOLHAVEN TODAY!!!! I’m about to disappear off the face of the earth (Tumblr)!!!!!!
And now, the chronicles of my recent Deltarune cult:
^ The time Spamton ran off to a corner and yawned instead of sleeping all night
Deadass Tenna was my first follower to reach old age and die ☹️ (ignore Moss, they were an elderly follower when I got them. (Moss is what Ive been calling my throwaway followers in this save))
And then when I revived him he came back as a zombie and immediately ate Gerson 😭😭😭 (hence the sketch at the top lmfao) 💔
11% BUT THEY GOT IT IN THE FIRST TRY BABY
Here’s what the game designed her as, so I just left it. Spamtenna child.
Crazy that this questline coincidentally chose Jevil for the victim. (Also I made Jevil my Webber so he’s got a buncha spiders following him AND he’s a poet 💖💖 metamorphosis!)
HAD to make Spamton the tax enforcer. He seems thrilled to run around and annoy the other followers for their money.
And I’ve got more pictures but they’re not gonna fit in this one post… so I’ll make another 😳
Just thinking about how tenna is shown to own a large number of guns and other handheld weapons. And clearly has knowlage on how to use them. (His intro when he shoots the pipis, and during the cowboy minigame)
How he just has a number of explosives. (The protect Ralsei minigame)
He’s absolutely down to beat the shit out of someone if necessary. (He absolutely could not do that fantastic spin kick without training.) and keep in mind he’s like 15 feet tall and probably weighs over a tonne. He also can do some magic attacks. you are not winning. (Also I noticed that he never uses his fists to fight it’s always some kind of kick. I mean look at the minigame where you have to fight the golden tenna)
At first i thought this was kinda silly. why does the funny tv do this. It’s probably just for stunts.
But then
The shadow guys are like his little mafia goons. All of them are armed. There’s no need for the musicians in your show to he heavily armed.
There are multiple zappers guarding doors. And they check who should and who shouldn’t be in a certain place. Also they have a CANNON for a head.
Backstage tv world is covered with security lights that summon zappers to your location. (Granted this probably isn’t the norm this was just because of us escaping) from the beginning of chapter a stage light was following kris and Susie. As well as a stuttah taking their picture. Outside of tv world is monitored as well as inside.
Why is bro preparing for a whole ass war.
But then… spamton… what if he did all this to protect spamton. He heard that he was in some kind of danger and turned the entire tv world into a safe zone. He himself trained in fighting styles as well as how to use guns. Just so he was prepared to fight whatever this was. (And also becuse he wanted to have that badass “hero saves the damsel in distress they kiss as there’s an explosion and everyone claps” moment)
But idk maybe I’m so brain rotted by these two goobers. Might make a comic about this but I dunno.
NOTE: happy new year everyone!!! to end 2025, which was a huge journey of self discovery for me, i have written yet another spamtenna fic, but be warned that this is quite long. this might be a bit ooc (i tried my best), but i wanted to try giving spamton autism as i love that headcanon more than anything and i as an autistic myself, i like projecting. as always, read the trigger warnings and happy reading!
TW: one mention of sex, drinking, cursing, mentions of smoking, kind cringe and over dramatic….
fic below 👇👇👇
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New Year’s, a time where the societal pressure to stay up late drinking gets the better of even the most responsible of people. However, Spamton was far from responsible, after all late nights at the bar in Cyber City were quite common for him, either that or night long sex with his business partner. It made no sense why New Year’s Day would be any different, other than the fact he would be spending his time drinking with employees rather than women who were most definitely hired to talk to him. Except there was another societal pressure that came with this holiday—the overhyped kiss with a lover at midnight.
He’d seen it in the movies countless times, but had never actually done it himself, even outright calling it a waste of time. This was the first year ever that he had someone to kiss, and this stupid schoolgirl crush that had gotten the better of Spamton made him rethink his opinion on a New Year’s kiss. A public display of their love at exactly midnight as their colleges cheer around them would be quite romantic, spectacular even. Although just the thought alone made him cringe, what could be the harm in trying?
And so, as the sun began slowly setting and everyone began crowding into the green room, Spamton sat in his dressing room, hatching whatever plan he could while tying his tie. He could catch Tenna off guard and make him red as a tomato, or even play dumb until Tenna was sad enough where he could sneak a cheer-up kiss right at midnight. But what if he let Tenna take the lead? Let him initiate the kiss? Lately he’s become more dominant which Spamton does like, though he’d never admit it. The nervousness of the situation made his hands go sweaty as he messed up tying a knot over and over again. Angrily, he threw it on the ground with a groan, but straightened up upon hearing a knock at his door. He knew who it was immediately.
“Come in Tens, I’m not naked,” He shouted at the door, watching in admiration as the CRT carefully walked through the door, shutting it behind him. He was dressed in similar attire to Spamton, the two men both wearing black suits rather than their usual red and yellow, hoping they’d match the golden decorations much better.
“Such a shame,” Tenna replied, a joke that took Spamton a second to process. He began to walk over to his cohost, swiftly picking up the tie off the floor as he did so. He held out the clothing item in front of his lover as he bent forward, a teasing smile on his screen.“Having trouble?”
“Yeah,” Spamton admitted after clicking his tongue, allowing Tenna’s hands on his body as they skillfully finished tying the black piece of fabric around his neck. Once the host finished his job, he took one of Spamton’s hands in his gloved one, rubbing it gently before placing a small kiss on it. Spamton instinctively pulled his hand away and awkwardly laughed. “What was that about?”
“Just getting rid of your before-show jitters,” Tenna stated as if he was doing the business man a favor, wiggling his fingers on the word ‘jitters.’ He stood back up to move over to the door, which he held open in an exaggerated manner. “Shall we?”
“Fine, fine.” Spamton sighed, following the much taller man out the door, “As long as ya’ stop acting like I’m some princess, I’ve got an image to maintain, don’t I?” He playfully elbowed Tenna as they approached the green room, chatting and flirting for what felt like a long time despite the short walk. Upon arrival, Spamton was anything but unsurprised at the massive, glittery display. The room seemed a million times lighter as the already bright fluorescent lights reflected off gold decorations and what looked like hundreds of wine glasses. Not to mention the volume of the room, every darkner having their own separate conversation and therefore battle to be heard over the crowd. Tenna really outdid himself, didn’t he?
It was all very overwhelming for Spamton, it felt like he was seeing the gates of heaven too soon and too fast, especially all at once. It was nothing like the lowly lit bar with dim neon signs that he was used to, but what else would he expect from a party put on by the most over the top person known to the Dark World. However, Spamton was still determined to play out his puny excuse of a fantasy, he’d just have to deal with the overstimulation of it all, it couldn’t be that hard. So as Tenna began to greet every guest with somehow equal enthusiasm, Spamton snuck off to the place he knew best, where the alcohol was. Might as well get drunk to survive all this glitter.
“Yo, Ramb!” Spamton called to the bartender, who tiredly smiled once seeing the Addison. There were only two people in all of TV World who didn’t despise Spamton; Tenna, who was his boyfriend so it didn’t really count, and Ramb. Sure, they found each other annoying at times, but never really hated each other, Spamton even going as far as to get advice from the Plugboy. Maybe they felt connected in some way, being somewhere that they shouldn’t.“Could I get a glass of battery acid?”
“Sure luv, anything for the TV?” Ramb asked, raising an eyebrow at the fifty Spamton slid across the counter, “I don’t think you meant to give me this much for just one drink?” He quickly snatched the dark dollar before his customer could even process the large payment he unintentionally made.
“Nah, he’s got himself—and don’t question the tip.” Spamton responded, covering up his mistake with gratitude and a dismissive hand wave. Ramb laughed at the man’s obvious nervousness and turned around to start working. Damn, Spamton thought, I really gotta pull myself together. Desperately, his eyes wandered around the room, searching for some distraction from the in-your-face decor. His eyes landed on one of the Pippins, who’s name he hadn’t been bothered to learn. The die stood there lopsided with a shadowguy, the pair sloppily but happily dancing together as they try their hardest not to topple over. Spamton found the sight quite amusing, stupidly imagining himself and his partner doing something so foolish yet so free.
“Spamton,” A voice asked, bringing the salesman’s attention to whoever on the other side of the counter. While the distraction was nice, it was short lived as Ramb had slid Spamton’s drink over to him. Desperate to calm his nerves, he quickly snatched the glass and chugged it all in one sitting, a decision he obviously didn’t think that through as after he fell almost over. “Dear God…”
“Whoo! That felt good!” Spamton exclaimed, slamming the glass on the table, “How about another one, Plugboy?” Spamton grinned at the bartender, who in return gave a smug smile before turning back around. Thank the Light World for antidepressants. Spamton felt a bit less anxious than he was before, the first thing he noticed was how his uncontrollable fidgeting had come to halt. Strange, he hadn’t noticed himself being so restless until now. He shakes the thought away, eyes going back to wandering the bright and annoying room as that seemed to have done the trick last time. This time he found himself staring at Tenna, just the sight of the CRT alone putting him in what could be described as a trance.
It reminded Spamton why he was here—to indulge in his fantasies and have the perfect New Year’s kiss that had been oh-so talked up by everyone around him. He was never one to be pressured into things, constantly being defiant of social norms and even the prophecy itself, so why was this any different? Maybe he really was in love this time…so engrossed in his thoughts, he hadn’t noticed when the CRT in question had started walking towards him, nor when his hand was gently grabbed the same way it was in his dressing room. Only his name being softly said brought him back to reality.
“Spammy, are you alright?” Tenna’s voice was laced with concern, which only made Spamton more embarrassed by the situation. He snatched his hand back as before, this time going red faced from what he could argue was the alcohol, despite it most likely being his flustered state. The reaction only made Tenna push further, which Spamton undoubtedly expected. “You were staring, if you-“
“I’m fine, Tens, really!” Spamton reassured, flashing his signature award-losing smile. He’d better get his act together before he loses his chance, whatever strange overwhelming feeling he had could wait. Tenna, although not fully convinced, smiled at the comment, watching as Spamton’s own smile softened.
“Well, come on then,” Tenna happily exclaimed, grabbing Spamton’s hand and pulling him into the crowd, “It’s almost midnight and the new year only happens once!” The two made their way through the mass of their employees which stood around the TVs that displayed an almost threatening countdown. The pair had found themselves a corner not too far away from the hoard of darkners, the perfect amount of space to initiate a kiss. Despite his earlier feelings of stress, Spamton had this in the bag, knowing full well it’d all be worth it for just one drop of perfectly timed PDA.
But as the thirty-second countdown began, that earlier overstimulation sank in. The crowd sounded louder than ever as they screamed, it felt as if everyone in the Dark World was screaming into Spamton’s ears all at the same time, yelling different things in somehow unison. That mixed with the glitter that covered every inch of the room made it horrifying, making everything itchy and reflective with those bright fluorescent lights that seemed even brighter than ever before. But he’d had to kiss Tenna, right? Even if it was another stupid overhyped tradition that may as well be useless if it wasn’t such a huge part of the media, he still had to do it. Who knows what might happen if he doesn’t take advantage of the perfect Hollywood life he dreamed of for so long, he knew damn well all good things come to an end, and this in no way would be any different. His breathing quickened the more he thought, eyes frantically looking around the room hoping that just maybe he could distract himself yet again.
Suddenly, something grabbed him at the waist, turning his body towards the one and only, Mr. Ant Tenna. This was it, the moment he’d been waiting for since the beginning of this whole episode, the fantasy he wanted to selfishly live in. If he wanted it so bad, then why did it feel so wrong? Unnatural, even. His head was spinning; from the overstimulation, from the alcohol, and from whatever force pulled him to be here, the fear of defying the norm. And just as Tenna leaned in at exactly seven seconds before midnight, Spamton realized it was too much. He forcefully pushed his partner away, sucking in one last shaky breath before running to the only place he knew to feel leveled.
Once he made it to the balcony, he ran to the railing, using the metal rod to keep himself from falling over. It was dark out, the only light coming from inside the studio and the classic New Year’s fireworks that danced around in the sky. Although it was a wonderful break from the previous brightness, the cold hit soon after, turning every breath put out into a fog. Spamton felt himself shaking, frantically trying to calm his breathing. Once successful, he gripped the railing tighter, becoming angry rather than anxious.
“Fuck!” He yelled, putting his head in his hands, “Why am I like this? Why am I like this!?” He put down his arms and kicked the railing exactly three times before pacing around, cursing as he did so. Defeated, he stood back in his original spot, leaning on the railing as the need to cry snuck into his throat. “Fuck…” He said quietly, bending down so that he buried his head in crossed arms. If only he’d brought a cigarette out here, maybe it’d make this more bearable. If only he wasn’t so sensitive, maybe then he wouldn’t have embarrassed himself, and without getting the reward he’d been working up to. Not to mention the horrific talk he’s going to have with Tenna after this—
“Spamton?” He froze, knowing exactly who had just entered. The salesman lifted his head and hesitantly nodded, a gesture that confusingly invited Tenna to come over. The host made his way to stand beside his partner, who didn’t dare to make eye contact in return. The pair shared a moment of agonizing silence, Spamton in particular trying his hardest not to break down crying right there. Despite it all, he was the one to break the awkwardness.
“I’m sorry.” He admitted, the words feeling sour in his mouth. He still refused turned to the CRT next to him, instead clinging to his hair to keep from doing anything more stupid. “I don’t know why I’m being so difficult tonight!” Although said in a laughing tone, a small hint of a sob seeped through, which only made him tug harder at his roots. “I’ll make it up to you, doll, anyway I can, I just-“
“Spamton, you’re shaking.” Tenna stated, gently prying the mailman’s hands away from his scalp. Spamton took this moment to finally make eye contact, staring up at his partner with an out-of-character shy gaze. Tenna brought the smaller man’s hands up to his mouth and softly kissed them. “What happened out there?”
“I… don’t know…” Spamton said blankly, this time allowing his partner to hold his hands. This was all sorts of embarrassing, but he had to admit to liking the closeness of it all, even if he felt extremely on edge. With that, he swallowed his pride and told his partner what he did know, “I just really wanted to kiss you tonight, and I-… something happened, I don’t know what, but something.”
“It’s not too late to kiss me, Spam, even if it’s past midnight.” Tenna laughed, grabbing the smaller man the same way he had earlier that night. Spamton felt his heart light up at the movement, a smile creeping up on his face knowing that this was happening, maybe not as picture perfect as he’d intended, but he was finally playing out his fantasy he’d been wishing for since seeing it on tv. No bright lights, no loud cross, no itchy glitter, just them alone, together. “What are you waiting for?”
The two looked at each other one last time before their lips happily touched, taking their sweet time before parting and kissing again. It was magical to Spamton, rewarding after everything he’d felt that night. It was, and in the corniest way possible, perfect.
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i might post this to ao3 soon…
hope you enjoyed reading this despite how long it is, and have an awesome 2026!
